In prison, one is expected to see a lot, hear much, witnessed diverse atrocities but survival depends on one’s ability to say little and even then; #Controlled!
“The things people say of a man do not alter a man. He is what he is. Public opinion is of no value whatsoever. Even if people employ actual violence, they are not to be violent in turn. That would be to fall to the same low level. After all, even in prison, a man can be quite free. His soul can be free. His personality can be untroubled. He can be at peace. And, above all things, they are not to interfere with other people or judge them in any way. Personality is a very mysterious thing. A man cannot always be estimated by what he does. He may keep the law, and yet be worthless. He may break the law, and yet be fine. He may be bad, without ever doing anything bad. He may commit a sin against society, and yet realise through that sin his true perfection.” ~ Oscar Wilde (The Soul of Man under Socialism)
Wed 27 Nov 2013
Didn’t get much of sleep today, one of my cell mate woke up early for another hearing, seems the lad has two cases. So much in our little world, if one doesn’t tell you his life, you won’t know a sh!t about that fella.
It was supposed to be a zero-movement as there’s our yearly mundial search going on, we got the intel, that we should be expecting battalions of cops soon. Likely ours will be on Thursday’s morning; we were told yesterday that our Thursday weekly headcount will be early in the morning, thus, it’s definitely going to be a search; got all my stuffs ready.
The school roll-call came and up we went, lots of activities in the centre, one gotta be careful, you never know whose got a price on your head. And that’s exactly what happened to our ex-president, a price was set on his head, according to him, spent 19 days in hospital where he was operated on; screws and bolts to keep his jaws together. According to him, being the president of a pavilion, he can walk to and fro our pavilion to the admin block without warden escorts. On this dark day, he walked alone as normal, from out of the thin air came a local inmate from no where and asked him his name; as soon as he confirmed it, the lad landed a massive blow on his face and that knocked him out. He went straight down, while his attacker disappeared to where he came from. He laid there bleeding before others who saw what happened came to see how bad he was, not to help him.
Thus, being a busy day today; got my eyes working 360 degrees. At school, nothing much to do, but boring as I was knackered and needed my sleep and was also starving. Some classes had fiesta to celebrate the last day at school. All said and done, back to the pavilion, where some lads were playing football outside, others were locked up inside the pavilion. My guess, the footballers must have tipped the cop on duty to let them out.
Still starving, my mates offered me rice and sauce, no chicken as I wasn’t counted when they cooked it; was ok to calmed the worms. Tried to catch some minutes of sleep-time, but my singing cellmate won’t let me; lads sings whatever comes in his head, can’t help it, maybe it’s his way of doing time. Lad went to court, was told to expect decision within two weeks, came back and packed up his meagre belongings into a red bag; it’s roughly a year-plus, the lad is still waiting for friggin court decision, maybe the judge is fcuking dead! For now, he wakes as early as 6am and start singing; warned him several times, but can’t help it. Pray he leaves here in one piece and one mind, unlike my released compatriot and a Jamaican who went berserk from the stress of live behind bars.
Didn’t workout today, and not feeling too well, guess my #BP is on the high side, should get around to see Doc, haven’t seen him in days. Hope he’s well, though the pavilion might look small, but with so much people in such a an enclosed space, one can go days without seeing certain people; everyone sometimes has got his cross to bear.
Will be having fried plantain for Dinner with ketchup, maybe 3 fried eggs…… Well, just plantain and my pikante sauce; mix of ketchup, mayonnaise, chili pepper, oregano and vinegar. T’was a good deep for my patacones, which my mates joined me.
Lately, hadn’t been staying much on my signal post as I don’t have data plan. Thus, early to my bed, where I either read, write or play some phone games!
Thu 28 Nov 2013
My day for our daily cleaning; weekdays, just toilet and shower room. Also our headcount day, and from intel, we’ve heard that we will be stormed for the annual mundial-search. Just as finished with my cleaning, our PA system cracked ON that they are here, we should be filing out. All my bits had been stashed last night, fast as a hare, we stashed the remaining stuffs, crazy thing; whenever there’s search or headcount, that’s when some inmates want to shit. My mates queued up to use the shit-hole, all set and ready.
As we all filed out, one cell member was asked to stay back and watch as the cops search each cell; damned cops with light-fingers could be quick at nicking inmates bits and pieces.
Outside we were striped search, asked to squat with pants drawn down. Some the young cops sort of look scare and nervous, probably first time experience, soon they will graduate from police academy and become corrupt like others.
Our two shemales were the last to be frisked, like always, the lads were all on their legs to see what will come out of their pants when they squat. But, the cops saved them for what would have been a free #Showtime for the lads who were catcalling and waiting to see their pants drawn down and squat down. We all know what will dangle down between their two legs; friggin frankfurters 😉
From 7am, held outside while the cops went in ransacking, throwing and turning whatever need be turned. Moonshine and mashes for distillation were brought out and emptied on the grass outside. Phones and other stuffs were seized and taken away. Used the opportunity to savoured the early morning sun as I walked, stretch and did some squat-jumps, lounges and other body-weight exercises. Helped me take my mind from the search and the cops around us.
After all said and done, they had all they wanted. We were filed in and recounted. Back to the cell, my mate who stayed behind is a veteran in this prison business; he knows what to do during the search. And he sure did what he had to do, which helped kept all our stuffs intact. Good a thing, my alarm-setting mate didn’t set up his alarm today as it would have given away our stash as it happened before.
As soon as I confirmed all is ok, head out for my workout, didn’t workout yesterday. Thus, can’t afford to miss today’s. Picked up my gym box, which is an empty milk crate, contain all my gym stuffs. Hitting #Back and #Biceps, few people in the gym, as many didn’t get enough sleep and breakfast,friggin lazy prisoners. It was #HIIT throughout and was rewarding as I’m feeling knackered and sleepy now; 22:09:17 on Thu 28 Nov 2013.
Fri 29 Nov 2013
#Weekend again, and the lads are about what they do best on weekends; revelling and whiling away time. Those who had their stuffs taken during yesterday’s search are probably making connection to get new ones ASAP! Hence, more business for the cops, as they are the ones who will bring them in.
Woke up today feeling less pain on my back, but deep down, friggin pain is there as it seems to numbs my leg, this has caused me to stay off #Squats for now, maybe when I get a belt, I might go back to squats, for now, I stick to light #Deadlift and #Coblet squats and #Powerclean.
Breakfast was a piece of banana with 2 packs of peanut butter and a cup of green tea/ginger! Serious cough in the pavilion and I’m affected, got no medication for it, will see how long goes before think otherwise. Probably cold from the rain water, well, will wait and see.
Workout was fantastic, but couldn’t get hold of the Olympic bar for a proper chest workout, used the smaller one and had a wonderful #Chest and #Triceps and good #Abs day! HIIT!
The new set of cops on duty are so hard on us, won’t allow people outside to workout in the field; the centre is very hot since the last 6 escapes from La Joyita.
Three inmates were hauled in today, and one happened to be a cousin to one of my cellmate. Prison; it’s such a place you can meet anybody, there are fathers and sons; father, wife and kids; uncles, nephews and cousins, all slammed up for lousy offences. Anyway, such is the path chosen!
I’m definitely worn-out from today’s workout, since I got in, haven’t gone out of the cell, been confined to the cell, the most I have ventured out; picked up some fresh parsley and coriander, and the ice-man, so hot in here, cold water is the only way to keep one cool. Glad ice are allowed in.
22:48:41…on my concrete-of-a-bed, should be sleeping early as I’m proper-knackered. One of my cellmates been drinking this evening, finally called it a day and left for his sleep space. Hope he doesn’t vomit as he’s fun of doing it after going on a bender.
Some reading before slumping off with strong backache and cough that later kept me up all night, had to make a cup of tea around 4am to help. Friggin need some honey now, helps with cough.
Sat 30 Nov 2013
Been up; ON and OFF all night, after the cup of tea and some painkillers pills, back to bed. Slept through the general cleaning. Finally got up for my breakfast, which was more or less my #Brunch, as it was around 11am.
Breakfast was black beans and ripen plantain which I cooked yesterday, which nobody wants to eat with me. Warmed it up and had it with boiled eggs that came on the breakfast cart with a cup of cinnamon + lemon tea, wasn’t bad!
Time to wash and change my curtains and also clean my bunk; friggin dirty as the lads are fun of always pulling my curtains, friggin don’t know why???
Glad we have enough water today, it was a strenuous wash, but glad I did it, next step will be setting up a new curtain I have in storage, paid our hand-sew tailor to cut and stitch it to fit my bunk; which he did a perfect job!
But my mate who’s supposed to help with setting it up is fucking drunk, lad has been on the benders since last night, after a cousin dropped by from the streets, well, this cousin ain’t here to visit, but to do some quality prison-time. He was welcomed with our potent-lethal liquor; lad is also a #ManOfTheBottle 😉
This handy-mate and another cellmate has been on the bender since yesterday, invited me, I declined, also asked for a bit of my brew, also refused them as they are still owing me 15 bucks from the last sales. They started the day on the bottle, with music, sing-along, and drumming on my pasta pot, friggin noisy, nobody dares caution them. Did speak out, but fell on deaf ears, once a man is under the influence of any substance, pretty hard to get him to listen. Thus, I let them be and to their ordeals.
One of the two lads had too much of his distil, he also distills, the lad is our glutton who eats at every turns he makes in the cell, lad walks out of the cell and back in, friggin looking for something to eat. Fcuking annoying, but then, he cooks for his friends from another cells, thus, he’s always with food. Lad can stock food in 3 different bowls, to be consumed at different time. And he friggin doesn’t workout or take part in any sport activities; pity him!
His mates bought him OX’s lungs to prepare with patacones (fried green plantain), but he is fucking pissed and mashed up to be able to do anything now. He vomited all over the toilet, on our water tanks, on himself, and then slumps on one of the beds in the cell. The lad whose bed he slumped in had to clean up after him. His mates came around for their food, but nothing for them today, they friggin gotta learn how to cook and make something for themselves tonight.
The lad has been sleeping all day, and his drinking partner, left for another water-hole with his new cousin, where they were both drinking. And he’s shouting and singing, well, I heard he has returned and slumped into his bed, couldn’t eat the soup I cooked and left some for them. They are just too mashed up to hold a spoon. Glad they ain’t violent when they are drunk and they should be happy that, this pavilion is not like the locals, who will rape them after they passed out from their binged-drinking sessions. The locals are known for that; if an inmate drinks and passes out, groups of inmates will jump on the drunk inmate and sexually assault the inmate. Many young and new inmates in the past been taken to hospital with serious bleeding from their ‘O’….!
Thus, my mates should be thankful, any sexual favours here are always consensual; either for cash or food or for love as some has been 😉
For love?.. I had thought the Dominican inmate who got married to his lawyer did love his released Jamaican ladee; the Jamaican has been sending him money and buying him phones and top-up cards. But lad went lastminute.com and hitched up with his local lawyer, probably for the benefits attached to marrying a local; reduced time and early release! Smart guy! Wondering if his Jamaican flame knows about this new venture of his. That lass can be caliente when he wants to fight; friggin will fight like a proper B*Tch! Hope words don’t get around to him wherever he is!
21:27:35 Sat 30 Nov 2013
The evening is filled with aromas of different food; chicken on the grill, cakes and bread in ovens, soups on stoves for all those on the benders tonight, and more cooking! The distillers are busy with their distillation process to bring out the perfect but potent finished products for the never-ending consumers.
My dead-drunk mate was supposed to distil today and I had wanted to help him make #Gin with #Juniper berries and other secret ingredients; but doubt if he will be sober to handle the equipment tonight. Thus, will wait till he’s ready!
Just got down to my cell, needed some ice on a pack of nicked-tuna I bought from one of the lads working in the kitchen; if you can’t beat them, friggin join them. I prefer the tuna to all other things they nicked and sell among the population. Tuna is preferably my best #Protein source in here for now.
Last time I had a mate’s girlfriend bought me a container of #NitroTech protein, she handed it over to a warden to bring it in, the light-fingers warden brought less than a kilo from a pot of 5lbs (2.7kg), friggin feel like skinning his fat one-pack belly alive. That incident sets me back about 100 bucks; what I paid for the protein and 20 bucks to the crooked warden. He wouldn’t show his face as I’m looking to ask him what happened to the rest of my protein. Bet, he only does this to foreigners as he won’t dare it with his fellow locals who will knife him with a shank.
Anyway, my tuna is safe, might make some pasta tomorrow; self-catering is the only way we can get around the rubbish-of-prison-food.
Back in the cell, 3 lads are down and sleeping from the all-day benders they have been on from morning. What more will people expect from and of them? Nothing useful to do all day, and lots of litres of liquor and moonshine, so, let the party begins and when it begins with them, they just friggin don’t know how to step on the break and put a stop to it; it’s like a runaway train #Unstoppable 😉
Signal ain’t at his best, forced to buy new sim cards as the signal keeps fluctuating from one network to another; the lads are all working with sim cards from the 4 mobile providers in Panama. As soon as someone discovers that a network is working, everyone switches to that network. Bit hard for me when all my stuffs are set-up on a specific number, have to start all the login processes over and over again. Sometimes I’m not friggin bothered!
On my way upstairs from the cell, our two shemales were standing at different points on the passage. The old-school one is dressed to kill with a top showing off her tits and chatting with the young lad whose sex-partner was extradited to US some weeks ago. Guess the old man has taken the young lad to place of no-return, now he definitely wants to get-it-going with our old shemale. Well, she ain’t gonna give him free like the old-ass was doing; feeding, paying and fending for his young ass. This time around, with our aging shemale, it’s strictly business, Pay-Ass-You-Go #PAYG! Wish him luck;-) …. Our old shemale always dress up at nights, never during the day, she is definitely ‘the lady of the nigh’…. Things she did on the streets, she taken them into prison…… At night, she dresses hot and hangs around dark corners in the passage chattering with the lads. Ain’t different from them street corner’s hookers…..which she and our young new shemale were before their vacations in the slammer 😉
The new pot-smoking young shemale is busy with another lad in another spot, the lad wouldn’t give her any breathing space, which many lads in the pavilion had taken note of and they ain’t happy; first come, first served! And she is a bit polite; calls everyone #MiAmor (My Love) 😉 . Well, they are both compatible; friggin smoke pot like chimneys! #Good4Them! Asi es la vida!
Boxing is on TV now, got the lads sitting and glued to their TV sets, much better and bit calm now. But our hardcore revellers are still on their gallons of distils and moonshine; they won’t call it quit, not until fight break out.
01:25:45 Sun 1 Dec 2013
Waooooooh! Another #December in the slammer, my fifth and #Christmas will be the fifth in the joint! How times flies, and how easy to throw away and waste fruitful years.
Back in bed, the lads drinking above A6 seems to have had too much of juice; heard some loud brawl and stampedes, hope it doesn’t involved one of my cellmates who habitually lives with them; lads eat and does everything with them, only come down here to shower, sh!t and sleep! They have adopted him, but when those lads like others have had little too much, they could become extremely violent. Well later today, we’ll have the lowdown of what happened some minutes ago.
Trying to catch some sleep, damned knackered and tired……..zzzzzzzzzz!
11:16:02 Sun 1 Dec 2013
Slept without curtains around my bed, my mate who was supposed was dead drunk like his drinking-partner. They all woke before me, but kept the light off as it will disturb me, but not my singing cellmate who is always singing only-God-knows what song!
Breakfast was hot chocolate/milk and two sandwiches with fried eggs. While the drunks battling their hangovers had egg-soup, hope it helps as I need this lad to fix my curtain.
I’m having serious cough, each bout of cough comes with chest pain and a lot of phlegm; hope it’s nothing serious.
Cold, cough and body ache all combined knocked me off, I’m like my mates who had an all-night bender; been sleeping on and off, just woke up. The bad thing about drinking is not how you will get home, especially if you are in jail, you’re home already. But the bad-side of alcohol is the next day’s hangover, which makes one want to swear that he’ll never taste a drop of alcohol again. My mate who is supposed to help me put up my curtain, is totally wasted, he is not fit for purpose and definitely not for the job that I needed him for. His mates are laughing at him; saying his battery juice has run dry. Last night, intoxicated, he was everywhere and his voice was all over the pavilion. Heard he was like a fly around our young new shemale, at that moment he thought he was prince handsome 😉
Thus, I might as well sleep in the open; my bunk is laid naked without the curtains. It’s ok, since there’s nothing to hide and no orgies going on in my bunk. There are bunks that are sealed like proper submarine or military bunkers, left to wonder if they don’t feel claustrophobic inside the cubicle, with curtains there’s freedom of opening and closing, but with cartons and cardboards glued together and painted over; one becomes a prisoner inside prison. Those living on top bunks like mine have hammock built above the concrete bed where they dangle like bats. Could be very dangerous when the prison-made ropes breaks, many had gone to the clinic after falling from hammocks.
Got an email from an English mate who was my former cellmate back in El Renacer, got repatriated November 2011 and have spent almost two years back in England, but on weekend permission release; will soon be due for an early release. Lucky chap!
Busy day in the pavilion, inmates are burning candles at both ends to get time going; gamblers are busy in the gym hall, those hunting for signal are busy with their phones at the spot, our chefs are busy doling out baked, fried and cooked delicacies for those who are too lazy to cook. Others are indulging in whatever gives them pleasure and while away time in the joint.
In my cell, our two drunks finally got back to life and functioning properly. Finally got my curtain done after the lad had gotten enough soup and nap after nap. Sieved a part of my brew; both the red wine and the ginger wine. Sold two litres of the red, but the ginger which is my first attempt seems to have won many hearts as many are keen on buying a litre or two. Will need some dough to make enough for the christmas period as demand for our moonshine or distil is always high during that period.
Listening to collections of my time-classical as we sipped from my Ginger/raisins wine! Not bad after a hard week.
Finally hit my concrete-slab-of-a-bed with the cough getting worse; every bouts of cough sent pains through my chest and lower back, not a good sign, and also feeling feverish. Kept me awake throughout the night. My pharmacist-cellmate who first had flu and cough couldn’t sleep as well, was feeling very hot despite his fan on top speed.
Mon 2 Dec 2013
Finally get to sleep around 8ish till 10am, when I finally gave up the sleep and prepared for gym. Breakfast of hot oatmeal; kept me up in the gym, was choking in the gym, the cop won’t let nobody out, not even the boxers were allowed outside. Every piece of equipment was occupied and used up, had to improvised with my push-ups bars and also did some pull-ups, finally got an Olympic bar, did some sets of deadlifts and hack-squats before the flu really set in. Just about when it struck 1pm, the door was thrown open for an hour outside.
Outside, used the opportunity to stretched out my tired muscles and joints, walked and did some running to keep my heart-beat up. Was rewarding, but the afternoon sun was scorching and blazing hot. Back in, then I felt the flu sinking deep in me. Shower took extra time, and electricity been out all day. Only to be restored around 6pm, thus, till now 18:57:06…. Dinner hasn’t come in. Heard the blackout was all over the prison complex.
If dinner doesn’t come in, nobody will say or do anything. But the locals will definitely get something to eat or else, all hell will break loose.
Right now, I need soup, something hot and liquid to eat, my mates are making soup, hope I get a bit as I’m too weak or sick to cook. And my lower back is not helping matters; that will set back on my workout.
Earlier on in the day; the pavilion was set ablaze
With the presence of the local shemale who made an August visit to see her trans-buddies; what a hot reunion and those three tits-bearing dudes freaking love their joints. They made a pot with their patrons inside the pavilion and enjoyed their fiery joints. If or when they eventually achieved their heart desires and have their sex-reassignment done; they will be known as pot-smoking ladees! The lads were all over them to feed their lust and what they have been denied, some went as far as touching the local butt who was giggling from the influence of crispy; #Skunk weed!
I have popped in some over-the-counter pills to contained the symptoms of the flu, but cough seems to wait for something stronger, have it now for 4 days+….. Had thought it came from bathing and drinking from rain water, which my mate said, should be the cause. If it stays longer, I should give a cry for help. For now, will use all remedies I could search and find.
It’s Mon 2 Dec 2013! Christmas is around the corner, just learned that a compatriot from one of the islands will be going soon, lad is waiting for date. Too bad, they from the islands have the chance to be repatriated but we from mainland #Nederland #Europe are always turned down and had our repatriation #WOTS rejected. Doesn’t sound or look fair, but that’s man-made judicial system; favours one and the other not!
Just placed order for #Ginger, my first try at #GingerWine wasn’t disappointing, those who tasted it loved it and I think it will be a hit this Christmas, thus, gotta up my production and make more. Will also need more gallons of Welch’s grape juice for #RedWine, that’s always a hit for the elderly inmates who prefers mild alcohol to our potent distil which is the younger inmates and the locals favourite as it get one pissed instantly. And I definitely hope to sell on cash, don’t want to start wielding knives or a 2×4 blunt wood at inmates who wouldn’t want to pay me. Reminds me of my mate upstairs who have a baseball bat beside his bed; everyone is armed, waiting for the unexpected! Surprising, cops didn’t take it during search as they believed it’s meant for sport, not knowing what harm and havoc it could caused when used at the right time. #SelfDefence
As for me, I see everything as weapons to be used when necessary and when the needs arises.
The week has just began, fresh and still pregnant with loads for us, hope I get better by tomorrow, working out helps with my day and speed up the days, if I have to stay in because of the flu, then, should do more reading and writing.
Following the news of #PaulWalker, what a young aspiring and daredevil of an actor, taken too soon #RIPPaulWalker #TheGoodDieYoung.
Our dinner finally came in around 8pm; which many passed, definitely something nobody wants to eat. Guess the food was rushed! Many cooked late also as lunches couldn’t be made due to the blackout.
Have taken all medications to help with the flu symptoms, for the cough, a home-made remedies of Honey/lemon would’ve been a cure, but no honey at hand, hope the pills will help. Going to the clinic is out of the picture, the lad at the infirmary in charge of that is making business out of it. Thus, I’ll rather stick to self-medication.
Lately, our water crisis seemed to have been solved, once a day water from pipe connected to pavilion 8! That has really put the locals off business, barely see them around here with tanks of water.
First week of December; the atmosphere has changed as many are preparing for Christmas, some are hustling to raise cash for Christmas gifts for their kids. Despite been locked up, many still feel the burden of fatherhood and want to owned up to that responsibility of being a father.
There are rumours of mass repatriation early next year; many amongst the Latin American countries whose countries had signed agreements to have them back will be benefiting from such, also some Europeans, exception of us, the Dutch nationals whose government has repeatedly rejected our repatriation request. If anything changes now, it wouldn’t be a big deal as we’ve resolved of doing our time here. Lately, and back home in Nederland, there’re surges in numbers of programmes that want to talk about our situation here; some are making plans of coming down to film us. What an irony, how much money will be spent to create and raise awareness of our situation, when the government is crying cost-cutting and austerity measures are in place. #Food4Thought!
Life in the slammer is lived looking everything with scepticism looking beneath the obvious to get the true meaning. Thus, we life for today but with hope for tomorrow! #PrisonLife