Panama: Sun and beaches, private banks and drugs-money, Police everywhere, Mass Incarceration, yet crimes and unsolved murders abounds. #RIP #LisanneKris

What is a man if he does not learn from his mistakes? What is humanity if it does not give him that chance? #ChanceForChange 

 

“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller #SurvivingPrison #PrisonExperience 

 

The case of the two missing Dutch students from the beginning has opened something dark, covered and hidden about panama to the whole world.

 

Panama, a beautiful destination for holidaymakers, and others who want to hide money away from prying eyes of their capitalist government. And for others in search of cheap sex and drugs, panama has it all like a buffet dinner. 

 

But what panama has, which has been hidden to the outside world, is the increasing rate of crime in country, that has seen more police on the streets than in other bigger countries and the other thing are the vicious and heinous unsolved cases of missing people. The latter is one that has gotten too close for comfort as it’s happened to two younng dutch girls who came to panama with a mind of goodwill to learn and work; render service to improvished kids inn rural areas in the country. And they met their end in the same area. 

 

Prison is binary world; you are either banged up or not, a world where orderliness is kept in military precision, but in our case; it’s the opposite, a chaotic world with no rules of law, one where the norm is survival of most connected. 

 

Like simpleminded people struggling to decipher complex information, prisoners struggle through each day in oddities. Many will wake up each day not knowing or having any plan for the day, they get involved with whatsoever the next man does. Another’s life is their life! 

 

They say “Time meant nothing to prisoners”, we are supposed to have all the time at our disposal, but then, it comes and slipped away from us at lightening speed, that many can’t account for any useful achievement. We live in a time vacuum when our time stands still, many try to recreate and relived those precious moments, but then, like smoke and vapour gone too soon, those memories are all illusions that we wished and dreamed, we can hold onto forever. Any time used or unused, but gone can never be recovered, prison “time” is a like a wave, a true surfer waits for his to grab and glory in it; every prison, waits patiently for that opened window; to make a #PrisonBreak, strike or be struck, to start a new life. So many positive and negative thoughts are birthed within the walls of prisons.  What will become of those dreams, after prison time, remains but a mystery! 

 

Mon, 16 Jun 2014 

#WorldCup2014 is on and is keeping us calm and tranquil. Whenever a match is on, the pavilion becomes quiet like a graveyard 😉 

 

Woke up, not feeling too good; bathing with rain water has probably given me cold, and the flu bug is spreading in the pavilion like wildfire and it comes with a badass cough. The cough is dry and many with strong, thick and dark coloured phlegm. The flu epidemic been a boom for my pharmacist-cellmate, as they are lining up for his drugs. Though, I have some that schat sent with the last pack she sent me; if I will need them. 

 

Woke up bit late today, around 5am, but laid back for thirty minutes before finally getting up and went through my early morning rituals, with my tea left for the signal spot. Few inmates were there before me, but mostly to make calls. Did what gotta be done before leaving my phone with my pal upstairs to keep up with my download. Left to prepare for gym. My last time in the gym was on Thursday last week, taken a long time to recuperate. Feeling stronger but still can’t risk doing any leg or back exercises that involves pulling or starting any movement from a death position; deathlifts, or any exercises that involves lifting. But pull-ups has been very helpful as it doesn’t put strain on my back. 

 

Hit Chest today and with intensity; flatbench, inclined and declined, added flyes, pull-ups and rounded up with biceps and triceps. My benchpress is improving as I can feel more strength, seems time-out from active training has helped developed my strength. 

 

Back in, water was everywhere as it drizzled a bit and our waterman decided to fill us up today. Did my laundries and showered, a protein shake was my postworkout meal, the lads cooked rice and canned sardine sauce, didn’t eat it, as I’m full and also feeling feverish. Won’t be working out tomorrow, my program from now till I’m fully recovered will be one day in, another out to recuperate or use the day off for yoga and walking the yard if the cop on duty will let me out. 

 

Football is on, but only on radio; we had to go back the old way and listened to radio commentary as Deutsch Machines trashed Portugal, that should get their Cockerell to crow, it was a whooping beating, that should get the Portuguese back to their drawing board. Another team the world was expecting something from them; Nigeria, performed badly against unknown Iranians in the world of football. Too bad for Nigeria, with all their top clubs-playing players, they couldn’t perform as expected of them. Another African country; Ghana is losing to #TeamUSA, and finally lost. Despite outplaying the Americans, they conceded two goals. Got me wondering if any African team will make it to second round. Hope they do! 

 

Meanwhile, upstairs by our signal spot, a very crazy inmate whose water tanks were damaged by protruding pieces of metals from the passage, finally tore parts of the passage off from their points; thus, we can’t access the signal spot anymore. Too bad, hope to find another way around there. Can’t stay without my morning signal access. 

 

If the welders don’t get the passage upstairs fixed, soon we won’t be able to walk or do anything upstairs and that will bad for those with water tanks that need to be filled on top of their cells. It will be too bad if they can’t get it done on time. 

 

20:06:07.. #Breaking; seems the search team searching for the two missing Dutch students have found something belonging to them and the search has changed routes as they are heading towards Bocas del Toro, my prayers are still with their families and hope our fears is not what awaits them at the end of this search party. 

 

Had to leave early to my cell and eat proper meal for the day; my gayly cell mate got his pals who loaded chunks of meats for him, but bringing them in his hands put me off from eating them, the lad is so dirty that I don’t like him cooking, not even boiling rice. He loves picking his nose and he actually learn how to wash his hands after using the loo here and that was after millions of attacks from me. Well, I think his doping his making him act weird, these days, when he washes his hands, he actually shows me his hands so I know he has washed his hands 😉

 

Had the sardine from my lunch rice with Arepa (grilled maize flour made like pizza), and fried eggs, downed everything with a hot cuppa of #greentea. Used my hot sauce (made with Mustard, ketchup, mayo, vinegar,dried parsley, dried oregano, and el pikante).  Filling and satiated.  

 

Later in the evening, one of the threes that left on Sunday came back with his partner in his case. Had his hearing earlier in the day, and this is the third time in three years he has been having hearing and not results. They were house in El Renacer rehabilitation centre (where we were before been hauled to La Joya), they are taken daily from Renacer to their hearing in Darien (interior part of panama). 

 

Had an early night as I planned waking up early and also it seem the flu is coming to get me. Drank another cup of tea with some medications. Hope I feel much better in the morning. 

 

Some reading before nature took over! 

 

Tue, 17 Jun 2014 

Woke up to use the loo with blocked nose, and joint pains, friggin flu seems to be lurking around. Drank the last of our detox liquid, and threw away the rest; damn bitter like our bitter experience in the slammer. 

 

Brewed me a hot cup of green tea and left for our signal spot. Daylight; now I can see the extend of the damage done to our signal spot; not even the cats will dare walk through that area, dicey and dangerous walking. Have posted pictures of the damage to my twitter: @Doingtimeabroad 

 

Feeling several symptoms of flu, its coming, three of my cellmates had down with it and many in the pavilion; too bad can’t escape it due to poor hygiene in the cell. Well, I’m prepared for it as I have medication to help relieve the symptoms. 

 

Had a quick breakfast upstairs when the breakfast cart passed through the passage downstairs; took a cup of the warm cornmeal, filling and warm as my body needed something hot or warm. 

 

School has finally resumed as the roll-call was made for tuesday’s class. Mine is tomorrow, but then, if I’m not feeling too well, I might call in sick, but without doctor’s report to proof it. 

 

Since the signal spot is inaccessible, kept my phone very close to the spot and still got enough signal to be able to communicate with schat and also sent some tweets. And also completed #Sade #SoldierOfLove album download from a torrent site; better quality than what others are downloading.  

 

Downstairs in the cell, another round of distilling by my mate who came back from the interior last night starving and unkempt as the police didn’t provide anything for them, and not even proper meal; they had one meal a day and were refused even buying food with their own money. 

 

Rushed my first hot shower of the day before blending beets and melon for a breakfast smoothie. Aches and pains forced me to slipped into my bed for a quick nap, but just couldn’t sleep as the heat was grilling and my body just couldn’t shut down to sleep. 

 

After distilling, my mate cooked soup with pork tails that came in the lunch cart, decided to take some of the soup but with added chillies flakes, which got my sweating that I had to take another hot shower. 

 

In-between my nap and lunch, followed the football matches of the day. The much-awaited match #BrazilMexico was not aired on any of the stations, we had to listen to it on radio. Followed the rest of today’s matches, so also the rest of the pavilion. 

 

My pharmacist-cellmate had his fortnightly conjugal visit with his missus today, came back with foods but wouldn’t share with none, got the raise of the lads talking; such is his life. 

 

19:40:01 on the news tonight, more revelations on the missing Dutch students, their rug sack and passport found, but more mysteries still surrounds their disappearances, and more news of unsolved cases of #MissingPersons in #Panama #MissingPersonsPanama are coming out. It’s so sad that there are some serial killer (s) operating silently and they had been left unchecked for so long. The case of the two missing Dutch students seems to have awoken many of cold cases that had been left to sleep. Panama is still waiting for arrival of another Dutch team of experts; probably there will be forensic scientists in this team to check for #DNA or anything that will link them to a third party. Hope this case is solved as it has kept many on the edge of their seats. 

 

My phone is upstairs, but no signal as I can’t make it to the signal spot, hope our welders will find a solution to the problem and get it sorted asap! 

 

From words going around, the new prison #MegaJoya #PenalCity is alive and running with new inmates. Few inmates from joyita and newbies from the transitional jail had been transferred to the new prison. Nobody knows what will become of us, if they will come for us and when?  What we dread most, how we will move with our phones and weaponry to our new abode. 

 

When I finally got downstairs, my mate who just got back from court was packing, this is the third time the lad is packing to be released. Praying this packing will be his last, lawyers, prosecutors and judges had played enough with him and his companion. His people had paid enough money to buy his freedom, but like always, one greedy person still want more; typical human nature. 

 

Down with the flu bug, can’t eat anything solid, went for a hot oatmeal with peanut butter. The lads were busy chatting like always, slipped into my concrete bed for an early night. Wasn’t long before nature took me on her wings to dreamland, where we’re free 😉 

 

Wed, 18 Jun 2014 

Woke up around 2am as someone was busy in the toilet; and that was our gayly Dopemaster, he’s taken to odd hours to do his dope so that nobody will see him. Nothing we can do for, it’s self-redemption or the drugs will waste him, which its already doing; sometimes he rushes his food with bare hand forgetting that he has a spoon, when reminded, he will answer he forgot. The system has no cure for him, he’s on his own like everyone else here in the pavilion.  

 

Back to sleep after using the loo, and with a blocked nostril, popped in paracetamol to help with the symptoms, did some reading until sleep sets in. 

 

Only to be awoken with a strong pungent smell, somebody is in the toilet and no other person that our gayly lass; guess all the pig tails and whatever he eats around is doing him bad. Got everyone up around 5:30am with his bomb. Quickly brush and changed, took my cup and tea to have it brew upstairs by my mate. 

 

Another round of footie will be on air today, glad #TeamHolland vs. #TeamAustrialia match will be aired, the other two matches later in the day won’t be aired. Only on radio! 

 

Roll-call for school came, as our PA system blasted out names of inmates for today’s school. Made up my mind and left, despite the state of my health, still went out for the three hours of time-wasting. 

 

Very sick, but sat through the classes, even when one of the teachers told me to leave, I insisted on staying through the classes. 

 

Apparently, I’m in a new class, while many of my former peers are still in the old class, not bad for a non-native speaker, apart from the Jamaicans who are slow learners of spanish, many who failed are spanish speakers. The old sets of Jamaicans here were fast learners. In the final class which will end in September and graduation in December.  Can’t wait to get through this ordeal; every walk to the school is an exposure to danger as one comes in close contacts with the locals who are always on the hunt for foreigners to fleeced. 

 

Back from school with my flu at its peak, my final option is to try my elixir; concoction made from our distilled liquor and mixes of herbs (Garlic, Cinnamon, Black pepper, Coriander seeds, aniseed, cardamon, chilies flakes). My temperature was very high, rushed my brunch and showered with a very hot water; finally took a shot of my cure-all concoction and slumped into my bed. When I woke up around 10pm, the lads were drinking and revelling as one of us will be leaving on the morning.  Drank some water and back to bed. 

 

Thu, 19 Jun 2014 

 

Woke up around 5am, feeling much better than yesterday. From my feelings, I know I can hit the gym today, but first thing first, headed to the signal spot as we will be having our weekly headcount later this morning. With my cup of #greentea, hurried to the table by my mate upstairs. 

 

Nobody was there, and signal was great; news update; #BBC seems to have the best news app with friendly user interface compared to other news apps. Thus, I stick to BBC for British, Europe and World news and BBC magazine. For Dutch news; since I follow most on twitter, I tend to get all news and gossips via twitter and if something worth reading, I check up the url. Updated apps that updated, sent off tweets and brief chat with schat; always busy. 

 

One of the three from my cell that went to the interior for hearing went to the clinic for a last check up before he leaves on bail; after 3yrs, but later have to make a bail out for good. He’s the lad #IBS and with phobia for germs; always washing his hands, literally every minute of the day 😉 

 

Flu and joint ache all gone, well the lower back still stays as it didn’t come with the flu, was there before the flu. Stashed my stuffs like others and made my way outside. But first got into the gym and arrange what I’ll be doing today; Chest, Biceps and Triceps. Outside while headcounts was going on, used the monkey bars to hit reverse rows and dips; exhausted on both, did some brisk-walking and stretching before the cops were done. None missing and no surprise search.

 

Back in, straight to my workout, started on the bench and did successive reps of multi sets, added closed, and flyes and DB press, then cable for triceps and biceps isolation, also did landmine. Got me exhausted before calling it off. My mate and his companion finally left, so also two other inmates after years in the dungeon. #Freedom at last for them, but first they are heading to the immigration where they will be sorted out accordingly.  And it could take forever at the immigration.  

 

My other cellmate got us on the bender, as he also will be going free after his companion took the rap for their case and bagged 80 months; thus, he’s celebrating his freedom. One that will see him outside hustling to get his companion out asap! 

 

Like others who had gone before him, his major preoccupation right now, is and solely ‘getting laid’. He asked me to search online for a hotel/resort with swimming and one on a beachfront, his pals has assured him, there will be loads of fishes for him when he comes out. I’m beginning to think if he also has gotten polished dominoe inserted in his mojo, as he’s so desperate about getting laid. But, there’s still a clause in his freedom; he has to pay what he owed his lawyer before his release. If he doesn’t pay, I know for sure, the lawyer will use all his legal and illegal means to stop his release. 

 

With news of his release and Colombia winning Ivory Coast and qualifying to the second round in #Brazil2014, more reason to break open our gallons of liquor. Lot of betting in the pavilion for the matches and many Colombians won. While those who betted on England lost. Being Thursday, not many are drinking, but quite a handful are celebrating colombia’s qualification. Their real party will come in the weekend. And it’s the weekend before our next fortnightly visit. 

 

Each time Colombia plays football matches, our passages are always free of inmates, yesterday was one of those days. Both passages were free of any human, and that gave the cats guts to walk around, guess they were surprised at the silence and emptiness, they invaded the passages, but as Colombia scored and with noises rising and clanking metal sounds, the lads celebrated their victory and a comback after sixteen years of absence in the #WorlddCup, the cats ran helter-skelter looking for places to take refuge, sort of fun watching them run. 

 

Mobile signal at night is becoming hard to hook on, after trying for hours, bowed out and left for my cell, took another shower; this time a cold shower as my flu seems to taken a bow, hope for good. Feeling much better, except for my sore back, which my flu concoction won’t and can’t cure 😉 

 

 

Fri, 20 Jun 2014 

 

An early day, woke up knowing I’m definitely hitting the gym today; whatever I’m doing, will do be done. Flu is gone and bit relieved of my sore back. 

 

By the time I finished upstairs at the signal spot and got downstairs to pick up my stuffs, the catholic priest was here for his Friday mass, since he doesn’t come every Friday, he’s forgiven for nibbling into our gym time. 

 

The lad on the door, allowed me outside; apart from Thursdays headcount, been a very a long while I was outside to workout and enjoy nature. Like an unleashed dog, I savoured the freshness of the open air and basked in the hot sun; stretching, brisk-walking, did some body-weight exercises and used the monkey bars behind for dips and reverse rows. Stayed outside until the priest was through with his mass. 

 

When I finally got in, the gym was empty, except for two lads who braced the coldness to get back to where the stopped when the priest came. 

 

Guess exhausted from the intense exercises outside, did couple of sets for an all-body #HIIT #Hardcore workout; starting with pull-ups, lat cable pull-down, triceps, biceps body-weight squat and lunges, enough to round up my day and week at the gym. Will take the weekend to fully recover, to be back on Monday for a normal routine and hope to keep on and up with my daily rituals of hardcore training. Have had enough time-out and rest, but will still be off from normal squating, will rather stick to dumbbells and goblets squats and lunges and more of body-weight exercises for my legs. 

 

The last of my mates has gone; he was the loudest and the noisiest, and also the glutton who eats every time he turns around. And the one who usually end his night of binge drinking by throwing up. Wouldn’t know if prison turned him into all that or that’s him before being slammed. Though he once told me, he turned to eating because of stress of being locked up. Well, we all turn to something to help with the stress. I for one, prefer my gym and music and reading, the oldest by age in our cell prefers diving into his porn stash and collections of fat ladies cunts; different songs for different folks. Others will die for a joint, a line of el rey (king of all powder), a pint of moonshine or our potent liquor, while others just want the company of the only lad with tits. 

 

Done with workout, and it’s weekend, the pavilion is waking up to what keep us alive and kicking; raving! But this time around the passion of football is awoken in us, keeps the passage empty of humanity when a match is on tv. 

 

Showered and washed up my clothes, enough water for each day. Nobody seems to be complaining or fighting over water for now. Many are focused on their freedom, as many are due to be freed but flimsy Panamanian bureaucracy is still keeping them. 

 

Helter-skelter and chaos, as our alarm system went up, first man I saw running was our vice president, then I knew something is going wrong; cops are coming down on us (not literally coming down like our shemale does) , but another search. But it turned out to be another round of headcount. We just had our weekly headcount yesterday’s morning and not that a hundred inmates were released between yesterday and today, that got the cops confused with their maths. Something had prompted this urgent call for headcount. Being headcount didn’t stop us from stashing our phones and weapons of warfare and all the undesirables 😉 

 

Outside, tongues wagged as each talked of why the sudden headcount. Having heard all and adding one and one from what my freed mate told me; it’s the fear of what they have heard about the new inmate in our midst. The lad to me, look the opposite of all that had been said of him; quiet, rarely talk and rarely seen. The only time he’s seen is when his lawyer comes and that exactly what prompted the sudden headcount. After he met with his lawyer and sent back with a cop and a warden, the cops who don’t trust their ranks, came for a recount to be sure that the lad is in. Satisfied, they left and we, back to our lives behind closed doors, everyman to his stashes to remove his hidden wares. And there began our weekend. Hope the presence of this one man would have the cops on our ass every second of the day. 

 

Another weekend before our fortnightly visit, thus, it will be fun and loads of revelling as the lads know very well on Monday, there will be fresh foods. 

 

Still on the mysterious disappearances of the two dutch young women, who had been missing for over two months now. All that had been found so far doesn’t give one any hope for a happy ending this missing saga. And some stupid Panamanian investigators are already suggesting that, they were probably klled by wild animals; snake, tigers and whatever animals they’ve got out there. (we have had our own share of panama jungle; snakes, gigantic spiders, frogs and different wild animals had made their way into our pavilion), if the DNA proves the human remains found to be theirs, then those poor girls were probably killed by some local and a serial killer running wild and free in panama. And the government had had their eyes closed to several unsolved disappearances in the past. But this one case is unearthing so many buried and unsolved cases in this beautiful tourist and banking haven; #Panama. Beggars belief upon hearing some local investigators saying, the two missing Dutch students could have been probably attacked by wild animals or snakes. Had expected them to say, with chains of events and many unsolved disappearances, there’s probably a serial killers, sexual predators and someone who has been evading the authorities out there and is still evading the lapse security in panama. Hope this one case will turn every unturned stone in panama on cases of #MissingPeople. 

 

Fast forward; back in the cell, showered and hit my bunk, but my English mate and his drinking cayman Islands companion took to the bottles, maybe to celebrate England quick exit from the world cup. They drink and sang-along some good ballads and old club anthems. But one that got me wondering how close they were becoming was both singing to Celion Dion’s ‘Tell me….that the sun and moon rise in your eyes’….Hummmmmm! that line alone got me fretting what our two blokes were up to. Well, it’s the drink and that’s what drinks does, either turns a man into a sissy or makes him think he’s a superman, like the lad nicknamed superman after flying from the top floor and crash-landed down on the hard concrete floor. That act alone friggin earned him the name; #Superman! 

 

 

Sat, 21 Jun 2014 

Woken from the claps of thunders as it poured hard for couple of minutes, such type of rain, always comes with destruction, maybe not here, but in the city and several parts of the country, people will feel the aftermath of the few minutes rain. But gave us enough water, added to what we had yesterday.  

 

Slide back into my bedsheets, not bothered for an early day upstairs, just needed some hours of sleep. Finally up before the others as it’s our general cleaning day; removed my stuffs, mostly my reserve gallons of water and gym box. 

 

Left for the signal spot, which was already crowded by those trying to connect for either calls or internet. Took my position and set my phone rolling, couldn’t do much, but did updated my news and sent off few tweets before whistle went off; an early morning patio. Doubt if many will be going out, as some are still sleeping off their hangovers. My hustle for early patio to run will begin on Monday as I’m feeling much better. 

 

The tension in my cell is loosening up as the two noisemakers are gone, less gathering and bit quiet, I actually took a power nap, despite one of the lads distilling, it was so quiet, unlike my cell. 

 

Many inmates are hit by the flu bug, and three of my cellmates are down with seriously strong dry cough, gets worse at night. Hope they find a remedy for themselves as getting one’s name on the clinic list is just but a dream. 

 

The world cup matches are keeping us occupied as we see powerful football nations beaten by underdogs. That’s the beauty of the game; expecting the unexpected 😉 

 

The cops that mounted the powerful searchlights on Friday night because of the new man in our midst are still camping outside the fence, with their truck and powerful searchlights focused on our pavilion. This one fish must be the catch of all time for them, thus, they wouldn’t let it slip back into the sea; hard to find then! 

 

Still on the missing Dutch girls, everyone following the case is left in suspense as we awaits the result of the DNA test to confirm if the human remains and other things found at different sites in the jungle belong to the missing Dutch women. 

 

Meanwhile, in the pavilion, it’s a bit of our weekend mood and many are thrown into repressive-thinking mode as this week has seen a handful released, leaving their friends behind. And one those is my boxer-cellmate, whose buddy left after his companion took the rap for their case; had to be released as one accepted responsibility for the finding in their boat. His other pals who had done the stone-in-the-dick thing had all gone out and they seems to be chatting from their different hotels telling of their sexploits and what their pearled-dicks are accomplishing. One even texted that he laid a broad who cum 5x and he only cum 1x! What a massive #Sexploits! Altogether, about six of his close pals had all gone out on bail or free, for sure none is coming back or the stupid ones that will hit the sea again with dangerous cargos. 

 

Also with the locals, they are leaving and released en mass, all the old faces I used to see and know are all gone, replaced with new faces and hungry ones who are new to the rule of engagements and in dealing with foreigners. 

 

With the passage to our signal spot damaged and the welders are not in a hurry to get it fixed, then accessing the signal area is out of reach. I’m used to waiting by my mate’s table till signal comes in. But nightly waiting is always in vain as nothing happens most night. 

 

Thus, early night to my cell and it’s bloody hot! 

 

Sun, 22 Jun 2014 

The smell of distilled mash got me up, as my boxer-cellmate was busy distilling. After a brief stretching and my quiet moment with my maker, used the loo and pick out my stuffs as I left for my signal spot, couldn’t brew my tea as I will be in his way. Decided to brew it upstairs. 

 

Upstairs, my mate was still sleeping or awake, but his door was shut, and wouldn’t want to disturb him. Thus, went about my thing until he had his door opened, then I went to him and brew my morning #greentea, refreshing and gave me the early needed boost I wanted. 

 

Went about my signal business which is getting harder with each new day. It’s something I’m now used to and also living with it! 

 

18:33:45 #Breaking #News and still on the missing Dutch ladies, it’s likely the human remains and other things found deep in the jungle of panama belongs to the two missing Dutch young women. Search will begin now on two men captured on camera to have been with them at a certain location before their disappearances. 

 

23:59:03 just threw my little prick crack-head cellmate from the cell, don’t friggin someone to die of overdose in my cell and called upon to give statements. Statement given at my fall is enough and that was me and my case. His compatriots in the cell had been turning a blind eye to his drug usage. But, being in the cell today and seeing all he did and how many time he walked into the toilet, closed the curtain and do his dope without taking a drop of shit and his weird behaviour; soiling the toilet, spitting on the floor, and denied, then I know, I have had enough of him. 

 

00:15:26 opened the door and let him; felt so bad about what I did, but it’s the norm in the centre; every cell always throw out their cellmates who are crack-heads as they start stealing when they can’t afford to keep up with payment and are denied credits by their dealers. 

 

Thought over my action, and seeing the situation of the pavilion; full but to the authorities there’s still room for one more! 

 

I called him and had a pret-talk with him, sort of advice, advice or counselling that the prison is supposed to do to many addicts here. Many had died from their addictions as none came to their rescue, heard a dutch inmate committed suicide by hanging himself in El Renacer after suffering from depression, when he couldn’t afford his dope any more. 

 

Have told him to seek help in whatever way he can, the church, good friends (if they will listen to him as each man has his own problem). He promised to sort himself out, hope he does and hope this will be the last time. 

 

He said, he knew what the situation is like in the gym hall, he wouldn’t want to be moved there, and that’s the only place he can go to if kicked out from my cell. No cell will receive him as they all know him and what he’s like when intoxicated. Pray he finds his redemption like everyone else here. 

 

Mon, 23 Jun 2014 

Prison is a binary world, either you are locked up or you aren’t. 

 

It’s visit day today, as many will be coming in to see their loved ones, hugs, kisses and touching exchanged. Others will go up just to leave the pavilion for a while, for me and few others, we only leave the pavilion for consular visit and our fortnightly school. Other than that, and lucky to get your name on the clinic visit and be taken; then you have made it far enough from the pavilion. Sometimes, I dread leaving the pavilion as to minimised contacts with local inmates who are always edgy and constantly walking around with knives; looking for a foreign inmate to rob. 

 

Woke up late, by late I mean anytime after 6am, rushed upstairs where an annoying cries of a kitten kept me irritated, little did I know the kitten was a dire need of help. A crack-head inmate had thrown the little through the bars on the backdoor of the sewage passage into the passage, getting the poor thing trapped. It’s been meowing and crying all morning and nobody gives a fuck about rescuing the poor thing. 

 

Finally took a look and saw the lonely kitten, gotta go get the key to the passage and walk down and get her out. But first have to inform everyone upstairs not to urinate, wash, spit or pour water on my head. 

 

09:54:58 the visit list just came and names called; the lads are filing out. Couldn’t make it to the gym early as I needed to be upstairs. Heading to the gym now. 

 

Beginning to feel much better, but still not at my best state of health and mind. That can only be when the body is fully healed. A minor row with a lad who took all my weights away without asking me. Though it was a sort of verbal brawl that lasted about 5 minutes. 

 

Being our visit day, three of my mates had visit, but only one brought food and shared with the rest of us. Not so many in the cell now. Like always, rice with hard-fried chicken, taste different but salty, as they love salty food. At least something for a change from our prison-cooked food. Got chocolate powder from one of my cellmate.

 

18:20:39 #Breaking #BreakinNews #RIPLisanneFroon who disappeared since 1st of April in #Boquete in #Panama. After hundred of hours of search through the jungle of panama and the border to #CostaRica, Human remains were found. #DNA test were carried out, which came back positive that the DNA from the  human remains is compatible with the DNA of Lisanne parents who are rarely seen on camera. The last time I saw Lisanne’s mother on tv, she looked so frail and worn-out from crying her heart out. The latest is the fear everyone who has been following this new dreaded to hear. I pray the good Lord gives #Lisanne family the heart to bear the lose of their daughter. It’s been a heartbreaking journey, travelling this far only to be met with a nightmare that one wished he shouldn’t wake up from.  So much has been said about their case, but the one million dollars unanswered question will be; who killed her (and Kris, if she is also dead) and motive behind the killing? In a close knitted community of the indigenas, where everything is hushed, nobody will ever know the last hours of those girls who gave their lives for the services of humanity, only to be rewarded by being killed. To keep Dutch TV viewers and Radio listeners abreast of what is happening in Panama and on the case of #LisanneKris, Dutch news media are here in panama; saw quite a few during the different press conferences and briefing during the search and finds of things belonging to the two missing Dutch students. The dutch media in panama will keep the dutch public abreast with the latest on this mysterious case in the jungle. This evening, just found

 

20:33:54 many in the pavilion are also following the news about the missing Dutch girls, some did asked what the Dutch Embassy and the Den Haag will do about the incident. Hope the Dutch government will keep the pressure on their panama counterpart to find the sex-predator (s) that is lurking around killing foreigners. 

 

Had an early night as I planned waking up early to make it upstairs as signal wasn’t good today. 

 

Tue, 24 Jun 2014 

Woke up very early, around 4am to use the loo, but decided to dressed up and head upstairs. Went through my morning rituals and brewed a cup of green tea. When I got upstairs, was silent and bare, but also hot, had to take off my T-shirt, glad the bugging flies were still snoring like many of my fellow inmates. Though on my short walk through the passage, the last of our nocturnal inmates were still sitting around smoking, chatting and talking in low tones. 

 

Signal was superb, good enough to blast all of my saved tweets and finished my downloads; another full album of #TrintjeOosterhuis #NeverCanSayGoodbye ; Sound wicked, jazzy and blues. Another addition to my collection 😉 

 

Started another download; collection of New York time bestsellers of Fictions and Non-fiction novels, should be enough read for me, though with my Samsung Galaxy S2 screen. Brief chat with schat and my lil girl surprised me with answers to questions sent to her; always sent her quotes to read and write back what she understands from the quotes and in her own words, she surprised me with every response (posting a screenshot of her answers to the last three quotes on my twitter timeline). Tah Dahh! …. that was her last words after answering my questions. how time flies! 

 

Quickly read through news making headlines around the world, and updated my news apps, and downloaded articles that I will read later today. 

 

Finally done, and left for the gym; but left the phone behind with my mate, so the downloads will be running. 

 

Downstairs, starving, rushed through a breakfast of cold cereal (cornflakes + oats + whey protein) and left for the gym. Bit full, but found enough metals to start my workout; back + biceps, an old training mate joined me. We had an intensive workout, though, very careful with what I had to do as I’m not 100% recovered from my back and sciatica problem. 

 

Tried going outside for a quick burst of cardio but the cop on duty won’t let me as it was about raining; and it never rained, only dark sky with bits of drizzle! 

 

Got in and shower, my mates had cooked rice with some chicken from yesterday’s visit, had a bit after shower and took a long deep-power nap as I didn’t get much last night.

 

The meat from the visit will take us through Wednesday and then we’re back to buying whatever comes in or eating whatever comes on the prison food cart.  

 

Had a brief chat with one of the newly released lad on whatsapp, lad has gone back into the jungle; his profile picture was him saddling a massive brown horse, got my laughing, but it’s their lives, boats and horses. The terrains that they work and live is not one for the luxury of cars. He’s having the time of his life, he’s out and his partner is still at the immigration waiting for families and friends to raise a grand and get him out. Hope they do! 

 

Spent most of the day upstairs, but signal was terrible, maybe the cops behind the signal has decided to block everything altogether. It will be real devastating if the signal is blocked for good, well, wouldn’t be for our good. 

 

Wed, 25 Jun 2014 

Planned waking early, but couldn’t make it as planned, woke up around 6am, well, for many in the pavilion, that’s way too early. Years of behind bars has made me realise how lazy prison can turn people to. 

 

Rushed through my morning rituals before leaving for the signal spot. There wasn’t anybody around, so also signal, spent about two hours and nothing. Had to surrender and leave to change for the gym. Starving, rushed a quick breakfast, and left for the gym. Hitting shoulders today; few lads joined me and we had a good workout, I’m gradually coming back to form. Things are taking shape gradually. Focused on my flexibility as I did loads of stretches and body weight exercises. Wanted to hit the fields, but it was past 10am, the cops won’t let anyone out again. 

 

Back in the cell, water came but not enough to fill up all our tanks, and one of the lads was distilling. Well, no cause for alarm as the sky is dark and it look like there will be a pour today. Lately, we haven’t had water crisis like in the past, but doesn’t mean we have forgotten and lose our guard, our reserves are there in case it does happen. 

 

Showered and washed my gym clothing, since I tend to wash everyday after workout, barely have dirty clothes like most lads who piles clothes and then send them out to our different launderettes to wash for a fee. 

 

Took a protein shake, before slumping into my bed for an hour of power nap. Sleeping and half awake as France took on Ecuador to a goalless draw; sending Ecuador out while Switzerland beat Honduras to qualify with France. 

 

#Breaking #News; the family of #Lisanne has accepted the death of their daughter, on news, the mother was shown talking during a press briefing. She and Lisanne’s father have been in panama throughout the search, only to be shown remains of their precious daughter. Vicious and heinous things do happen in this beautiful paradise, yet to be discovered by foreigners; Panamá 

 

I’m beginning to think very hard on getting a router of mine, but the problem is the climbing and taking it down when our alarm system goes off. The lad that fail and sprained his back is still walking like a crooked old man. He was lucky to have survived the fall, after crashed landing on the concrete floor. 

 

Signal is very bad today, left my phone upstairs all day, and nothing has happened to the signal reception. Frustrating, but gave me time out to do loads of reading and writing. 

 

Earlier today in the gym, saw some new faces, since my time-out from training, quite a lot had happened in the pavilion, lots of new inmates hauled in to begin a new life in the slammer. But have taken note of the old ones; those close to me that had been released on bail. Three from me cell, but then with their partners, thus, six people that were very close to me. Everyone in the cell are beginning to feel their absence. After years of living, brawling together, we became so close, became band of brothers; living and watching out for each other. But one thing so unique about prison’s journey; it’s a personal one. You can get hauled in with a partner, but once inside, you are on your own. New alliances and friendship are forged for one’s benefit. I pray they stay safe and out of harm’s way and out of crime. It’s only a prayer! They have to do something on their part! 

 

Meanwhile, before the cop on duty left for the day, he was taken around the passage for his due; everyone that benefits from his kindness, letting us out to run and workout under the weather gave him whatever they can afford. I parted ways with my precious dollar; same cop was in the gym earlier today and did some reps on the bench, turned red after couple of reps 😉 

 

Should be crashing earlier tonight as it’s our weekly headcount tomorrow morning, and who knows what the cops has got in their sleeves for us. Though we will be doing our parts of hiding and stashing and leave them to find 😉 

 

Before hitting my concrete bed, had all prepared to be stash on the first call, took out removable parts from my phone and stashed them. It will be a long day tomorrow if we are stormed on. 

 

 

Thu, 26 Jun 2014 

Woke up very early to use the loo, around 5am and that’s how my sleep ended. Rushed a pot of water to brew tea and dressed up for an early workout. Upstairs, signal was fine as I was able to get online, chatted with schat and responded to few other chats. Quickly send out some old tweets and updated my news and magazines apps for current news. 

 

Then, came the call for our weekly headcount, haad to stash my phone upstairs with a mate. 

 

Downstairs in my cellmates were busy stashing whatever needed stashed, as we don’t know what the lads in blue has got for us. 

It was going to be a very lengthy count as they decided to count cell by cell on the second run. Used the long time outside to brisk-walk, run and did loads of body-weight exercises; reverse rows, hanging leg raise, pull-ups, push-ups, lunges and loads stretches. My cell were called in, got in and that was my workout for the day. 

 

Showered and washed, also my bedsheets and my trainers; need a new trainer as the old one is worn-out, my socks were soak with water from the fields. 

 

Cooked ripe plantains to eat with the lungs of last night, and a cup of ice-cold grape juice. While eating upstairs, then came another call for another round of headcount; seems the cops need to get re-education on how to count. Well not sure why the call for the second count, we all had our stuffs probably stashed as we filed out again to be counted for the third time today. 

These time, it went fast and quick and without any error. 

 

Back in, slumped in my bed to catch a quick nap, but then came another call and this time around, it was the much-awaited call; our consular visit. 

 

She finally came at last, guess she and the embassy crew have been dead busy with the case of the two now-confirmed dead students #LisanneKris; #RIPLisanneKris! The embassy has been the 

liaisons between the parents of the dead girls and the local authorities who are doing everything to sweep the case under the carpet with flimsy excuses that they could have been killed by wild animals. Well, that theory and many others doesn’t hold, they should come up with something a bit concrete, like how corrupte their system is; how police could be paid to release murderers and rapists. 

 

We filed out and met with her, got our extra shopping done, but not all I asked for; a beggar has no choice! One thing she did get for me that got me smiling, is ten packs of green tea, which is enough to take me through loads of months. 

 

She brought in lots of magazines and few novels which will keep me busy, also went into the library and borrowed three books; Othello, Tailor of Panama, and the writings of Karl Marx. Should be through with them and send them back before next weekend. 

 

Those and what my consul brought will keep busy for a long while. 

 

Just found out today from an American-panamanian mate who was with us and will be leaving tomorrow, that the cop on duty at the admin is a friggin gay. Now I know why he takes pleasure is wanting to check every inmate before they climb upstairs to the admin block. And he likes groping when he searches people, everyone is always complaining his crude method of searching inmates, but nobody thought he enjoys what he’s doing. I guess one reason we never suspected him to be gay was, he’s damn too ugly and unkempt to be gay 😉 

 

But, he is and is one of the few ugly ones around, well, there are many ugliness in pavilion two (our shemale holdout) , loads of them and they come in different shapes and sizes, one will find whatever he’s looking for, and some of our lads have been doing just that, someone to exchange saucy photos at night ;-). Few had come to me to have their media folders locked or encrypted, that nobody could see what is meant for their eyes only. But, out of curiosity, I have seen things I’m not supposed to see. Got me thinking, what prison time does to heterosexual men; after years of incarceration, heterosexual men tend to be developing sexual tendencies for other men. And many will try to hide it, but within them, they want to explore such fantasy. Weird…..innit?  My released Canadian mate called them #WeakMinds or I will simply put it as #SimpleMindedMen, men who can’t hold up to their words. 

 

Brief chat with my consul, no new news from #DenHaag, we are still on our own as we have been from day one. But at least she got my injections; for the sciatica and back pain. Enough to take me through for a very long while if I can only stay away from strenuous exercises. 

 

On our way back, dropped a dollar for the lads in chains under the admin building. A lad who has been in chain for months upstairs is been sequestered from the general population as there are gang soldiers on mission to take him down in any way or any means they can. He was brought in from colon; since he came here, there had been three attempts on his life, well, his low and cheap life. He’s accused by his assailants to have killed one theirs, thus, he’s marked for death. And they won’t stop till he’s taken down. Another was released after years of incarceration, on getting to the final control on gate one, someone pulled the trigger of a gun on him and ended his life on the nozzle of a gun. Live by the gun, die by the gun. 

 

Finally in, dumped all my consul brought today and slumped into my bed and finally got my nap. Sleep through and woke up starving, and in need of a cool shower, as it was grilling hot in the cell. Showered and ate beans that came with pork tails earlier in the day. Always passed the tails and most porky meat. Brewed a cup of green tea with fresh ginger and left for our signal spot; haven’t held my phone all day. 

 

Took a shot of Dexa-Doceplex from what my consul brought in for me, cost me a fortune, thus, being a prisoner in panama is an expensive business and also a deadly adventure, especially for foreigners. 

 

On my way upstairs, met our reina, she’s dressed to kill, wondering if someone is celebrating something tonight, or she’s having an early weekend. Hope she will drink till stupor tonight and puke all over the passage. 

 

Saw the local shemale working upstairs in the admin,  and claims to have gone under the knife for sex reassignment to become a true lady. Well good for her numerous clients who are enjoying the new him. 

 

The pavilion is still tensed from today’s headcount, every finger seems to be pointing to the new lad whom the authorities see as highl-risk inmate, if he’s such, then they should get him out and keep him a more secured facility than sending panic signals through the population 😉 

 

Like always, until the real thing (search) comes, we will always be in panic. 

 

Called it a night as I made my way downstairs for an early night. 

 

Fri, 27 Jun 2014 

#TGIF it’s #Weekend, well for some lads here, everyday is weekend as names of days doesn’t stop them from revelling and feasting. With a prison system like this, one can decide to be happy or sad throughout his prison time as he so choose. 

 

Have been up since 2:30am, after waking with a full bladder, used the loo but just couldn’t get back to sleep, tried everything, even counting sheep; literally counting months and time to go. Well, allowed the mind to have its walkabout into memory lane; went fine, uninterrupted, uncovered many things, that I would love to let them lie. But such is life; the conscious battling with the unconscious! 

 

On my way upstairs around 4am with a cup of green tea as I make my way through the dark passage; always keep the cover open to be used as a quick weapon. An inmate once told, me, he has his trainers on all day as it’s prison where anything can happen any time. At the corner of the passage, our reina sat with a see-through nightie puffing fag, probably after a busy night of hard work. Someone gotta keep the lads giggling and satisfied. Her gran tetas were all poiten as we greeted each and I stole a look. Nice lass though!

 

Decided to read downloaded news from yesterday as I wait if sleep will come back to me. By 4:30am, I was done with sleep, maybe I will be lucky to catch an afternoon nap later today. For now, time to climb upstairs to our signal zone, if I’m lucky, I will get online, for a brief chat with schat, uplaod latest news, and try and round up with my downloads. 

 

07:32:10 Signal is pretty this morning, doing some downloads, hope they all get through before the zone is congested and signal is disrupted. 

 

Another drug bust, 200 kg of pure coke busted early this morning, soon the lads will be hauled in here or pavilion 8 to start their own uncertain journey.  

 

Finally left around 8am after the download of New York Time Bestsellers was completed, started another download which should be through by tomorrow morning. 

 

Waking up early helps with getting online and benefitting from the early morning surf. Trying to get some hours of nap later in the afternoon is always hard because of the afternoon heat. 

 

Had a good workout today; basically hardcore chest and added military press! Enough for the week, will be off for the weekend to recover and also get some shots of Dexa-Doceplex to help with my sciatica pain. 

 

Barely ate anything solid today, after our mass protein shake with my group and others in the cell. Took a power nap and later had spaghetti which a lad gave me. And that’s my meal for today. Maybe cold cereal later tonight. 

 

20:20:51 cops have mounted the powerful search light outside the pavilion again, and Latino sounds belting out from our boom box at the back of the cells as the lads are in the la fiesta mode. Others are also drinking to whatever reason they deemed befitting tonight. At least u’ve sold three gallons of my prison-brewed wine. Saw two gallons of grape juice, should get both and prepare a new batch of wine. It’s so funny, those going for my wine are like the elite in the pavilion; educated, and always kept to themselves, avoiding the bunch of many. It clearly shows the difference between them and those that prefers the stronger, lethal and potent distilled liquor, which could be fiery. 

 

Signal dropped this evening, had to leave for an early night as I will be getting up very early tomorrow to get online and catch the first surf. 

 

Back in the cell, had another cold or cool shower after downing a bowl of cold cereal; literally cold as I got a cup of ice, it’s friggin hot, feel like sleeping without my clothes on, but dare not try that here, slipped into my concrete bunk with my Tommy boxer, played some Candr crush, friggin difficult level 250! Read some pages from my bedtime novel before nature took me on another ride into dreamland.  

 

Sat, 28 Jun 2014 

Up several times to use the loo; took my direutics very late, and that got my several times to take some leaks. Finally got myself up by 6am, brew green tea and changed for another round of an early day upstairs. An early drizzle of rain brought in some cold air, the lads will be in their deepest phase of their sleep, finally some cool air to keep us cool and chilled. 

 

Upstairs was scanty, two lads were on their phones, either with loved ones of business associate. For me, needed to know how schat and my musketeers are faring, as they are my strength and what keeps me going. I know many men who had broken down after it all fall apart within their families. When slammed up, something has to keep one going and stronger; and for many of us, it’s our families. 

 

Talked with schat, loads that I’m missing; especially my lil girl growing up and learning to bang doors when upset, and beginning to feel and want to be treated as an individual. Glad schat is also growing up with her and learning from her; for me, it’s all female hormones setting in ;-), schat promised to put them under control. Funny how they both battle and are still best of friends. But she misses me most as she does say that on her chat, can’t wait to be back home and give that one warm fatherly hug and reassured her that I won’t be away for such a long time as I am now. 

 

She replied my last puzzle of quote, but with a wink, she definitely knew what the quote mean. Pray she can apply it to her young life. Full of energy and wants to do everything; mostly what makes her happy. But I always tell her, so long it doesn’t make others sad, and she understands. She is trying to be the big sister her siblings wants. Pray her the strength to understand that she is loved and we want the best for her. 

 

Back to the centre; it’s our weekly cleaning of washing, went downstairs to move my stuffs and also took all my reserves upstairs as one of the lad has moved down to the vacant bunk. That will be a big relief to the lads, who are always shouting over my gallons of reserves. The cleaning went fine, bought a pack of ox foot, another mate got one. Enough meat to cook; cooked Colombian Sancocho and made a sauce with one, but pikante sauce with loads of chillies, not for the fainthearted ;-), the lads who wanted that, loved it and his mate also. Everyone in my cell had a portion, exception of the lad who moved down from upstairs; lad tend to eat on his own, thus, can’t share my food with him…..well for now! 

 

Did some working of mine today, clean and washed my fan, friggin dusty, that it blows hot air. What’s is worth doing is worth doing well…..worth my time and my $3, that’s what I used to pay the lad who cleaned it before and he never did a satisfactory Jon; commercial! too many fans at the same time. Now I’m doing it myself and very proud of my handiwork 😉 

 

A police scare this morning got us scrambling to our stash spots as we hid what ought to be hidden. But it was a routine check around the perimeters. Doesn’t mean we believe them, gave them another 2hrs before taking out our stuffs. 

 

World cup is back, Brazil were lucky today and Colombia displayed what they have practising for the last sixteen years, got the pavilion boiling as the lads celebrated the glorious triumphantly win of Colombia over Uruguay; 90% of the inmates here are Colombians, thus, it was Los Cafetores or Los Tres Colores that took over the pavilion today and gotten us celebrating. If they play what they played today with Brazil in quater final, the latter, being host will be packing their boots. But then, I wait my celebration tomorrow, when #TeamHolland take on #Mexico tomorrow to set up a meeting with either #Greece or #CostaRica. 

 

There’s proper victor’s celebration in the pavilion, as the Colombians celebrate their victory over Uruguay, an on and off training mate has been on me all day to drink with them. Dodging him as I’m not in the mood, had woken up early to get online and I need some hours of power nap. Finally got an hour or less of power nap. And finally left for upstairs, but he and his buddies cornered me. 

Went over to them, music and booze flowed freely and swiftly, shots of our potent liquor were downed and with every shot, goes a sip of water to cool the burning effect of our lethal cocktails. The distil wasn’t bad as it came from my cell’s distillery; the lad had used some of my juniper berries and Aniseed, which gave the drink a different flavour compared to what others distil and sell in the pavilion.  

 

Finally took over the music and belted out some of Latino finest; salsa, vallenato, and more of both. The lads weren’t in the mood or mode to listen to any other genre of music, just those two and we had enough illegally downloaded mp3 files to serve the night and help with our booze. And we also have our mouths as we talked and talked football; what else to talk about, other than football as it’s football season. Spent few hours with them before taking a leave to hunt for signal, which was null.  

 

Headed down to my cell, everyone seems to be in their respective corners; either trying to sleep, but can’t, pings of incoming instant messages from whatsapp and BBM was coming from different dark spots in the cell. One of the young lad who drank with us but left earlier when he realised he was misbehaving, good a thing he left. I follow suit, but our boxer cellmate later staggered in after I was through all the chores that I had to do before crashing into my concrete bunk. Pitch black in the cell, heard noises from the new lad who just bought pharmacist-cellmate bed above the toilet. He also was dead drunk, didn’t want to get involved, thus, stayed quiet but with my ears wide open for any scuffles, none. 

 

On my way down, along passage B, Mexicans and Colombianos were high in one of the biggest fiestas in the pavilion so far; they had our queen, alsl dressed up to entertain her host, and in the part, everything and whatsoever that is needed to keep them high and happy was available. Booze, lines that aren’t meant to be crossed but snorted, jumbo seize joints rollled by the best rollers, and more of everything and music to help with emotions. And it all goes down to private moments with our queen of the pack; touching and being touched. Some of us are definitely enjoying our time on the inside. But at the end, when it all wears out, we are back to square one, where we started from. 

 

Despite their revelling, they managed to keep the noise down; respecting our unwritten rules of engagements. 

 

Sun, 29 Jun 2014 

Woke up around 4:30am to use the loo, only to find out someone had vomited, later found out it was our boxer-cellmate, lad was wasted when he walked in, unlike him; never miss his nightly shower, but yesterday, he walked in and climbed into his bed and snored off his drunken life. Had to double checked the door if he locked it. 

 

Vomiting for the first time, he’s forgiven, and being me day to wash our toilet and shower room. I have to clean up his mess and help nurse him back to his former self. 

 

First thing first, went upstairs to get online. With my cup of hot green tea, set about my early morning cyber rituals of updating, downloading, browsing, fast-paced reading of new headlines and scan through twitter timeliness. Loads of new stuffs and some old ones; like facebook doing psychological studies secretly without its users knowledge. Seems everybody is playing #NSA and #BigBrother, snooping on everyone without their knowledge. Nowhere and no place is safe anymore, prison that’s supposed to be the most secured facility is just one big joke.

 

In the middle of my chat with schat and my lil girl who sent me a voicenote of what she did in the nursery today, heard a loud deadly scream in front of me. An epileptic inmate had seizure and was about falling head down unto the concrete floor downstairs, left me phone and rushed up to him, his compatriot who wa standing by grabbed him by his legs as half of his body was hanging halfway down the edge of the cell’s top, if his compatriot wasn’t there, it would have been a different deadly story; how he fell to his death.  

 

We rushed him inside far from the edge, someone got a slippers between his teeth, while I stabilised his head, another loosen his shirt as it’s was blazingly hot. He finally came back and was taken inside his bunk; which is built upstairs on the top of the cell. The lad, under this condition should be sleeping in a cell downstairs and on a lower bunk. But nobody is willing to switch or give up their bunks for him. Sleeping upstairs and walking around is very dangerous for someone like him. He has once fallen on the passage upstairs and got torn by the metals. But because of his business he prefers living upstairs, he’s one of our many laundrettes, does loads of washing jobs upstairs. Guess I’m one of the few here that does their washing on their own. 

 

The lad survived the epileptic attack today, the authorities are aware of his condition and that of another epileptic inmate, but they won’t do anything. In such situation, we have grown to be our brother’s helper. 

 

We have crossed our ethnicities, colours, races, nationalities, languages, status, classes and even gangs creeds to help each other when the need arises. Such is what prison has turned us into; band of brothers, looking out for each other. And that’s how we survived life’s ordeal behind bars; united we stand, divided we fall and that fall can be real bad! 

 

Finally left to change and get ready for today’s workout. Water finally came, we have been without water for two days. Had to tapped into my reserves and it helped, also prepared a tank of my grape juice wine; should be ready by Friday for #ColBra match, if Colombia wins, it will be drink till dropped!  

 

The gym was packed, being Monday, some will be full of energy others will be sleeping out their hangovers. But many came out to work and burn out the fats accumulated over the weekend. 

 

Got myself started with warm up; hitting chest and triceps, started with a 110lbs dumbbells on each arm and that set me up for an hour long intensive #HIIT #Hardcore workout for the day. Very hot in the gym, had to buy powerade halfway through my workout and also got bananas for me and my training partners. Rounded up with good stretching and hanging legs/knees raise for abs. The lad enjoyed every seconds of the workout, already asking what we are doing the next day. 

 

Back inside, enough tanks filled for the day, my boxer-cellmate who was battling his hangover all Sunday did some washing, and finally got himself together. Lad did had way too much on Saturday. Glad everything is back to normal. And our lives back to what we know as normal. 

 

Nigeria is taking on France, from past matches and performances, I see France crossing to the next stage. And Nigeria going home, and that’s exactly what happened. Africa now has one team leaft; Algeria, and they will battle it out with The Germans, but they are won’t be a match to the formidable force of German lads. The only team now that has the potential to take on Germany should be #TeamHolland 😉 

 

Had chilled protein shake, showered and washed, the lads cooked rice but no sauce as none is ready to buy meats. Had tilapia fillets which I bought before my workout, should be steaming them with onions, garlic and oregano later on. But, then many mouths are waiting to eat. 

 

Tried napping but too knackered and heat was building as one of the young lads was distilling. He’s building up his stock against Friday’s #WorldCup2014 match between Brazil and Colombia. If Colombia wins, the police will definitely be coming to pay us an impromptu visit as all hell will be let loose in the pavilion; the lads just know how to celebrate. On Friday that Colombia beat Uruguay, there were about eight officially reported deaths in Bogota, Colombia. That’s the latinos way of celebrating football winnings; guns, booze, lines snorted, joints and more and more with vallenato to fine tuned movements.  

 

The insecticide we used to kill and keep cockroaches away is wearing out, they are back with a vengeance. Little did I know of the different species of roaches, there are albino ones, giant and even flying ones and there are the annoying ones; little tiny twats with eggs hanging out in the butt, friggin look like minor girls with protruding pregnant belly. My best weapon against them is just hot-boiling water, once read that exoskeleton insect like roaches could survive a nuclear attack, well, they don’t stand a chance with my nuclear-hot water 😉 

 

While roaches are busy climbing over our bodies, rats are busy munching on anything munchable; books, inmate’s feet or toes, electric cables, foods and anything their metal-like teeth can tear through, they are our number one menace here. The worst that rats does here, is urinate on anything and everything. And our lazy cats are busy tearing bin bags and jumping from one bin to another in search of good food. And making kittens, friggin lazy like some inmates; sleep all day and play all night. It beggars belief to see catching rats and feed our lazy cats with what they should be haunting and hunting. Good for them 😉 

 

On the news this afternoon, a released local prisoner was on television singing of the corruption in prison; the lad seems to forget that corruption is systematic and institutionalised in Panama and most part of Latin America, every office, department, ministries, arms of government, functions and office are all corrupt. The lad said, inside Panama prison one can literally get anything and everything that one’s need or want. He talked of prices of guns and knives, they are so expensive that it has become a lucrative business on the inside like other things sold on the inside. The lad sang how guns were sold for $500 in the past, but are not worth more than $3000 a piece, which has become a lucrative business for Cops and Wardens. Last year, a warden was arrested as he tried smuggling a pistol, which eventually will be sold to inmates. 

 

There’s a young local inmate who walks around shoulders high, because he feels protected with his arsenal of weaponry and all inside the prison complex. I have seen pictures of revolvers, glocks, Uzi’s, sub machine guns and other arsenals ready for warfare.  

 

Cops, wardens, visiting family members and even spouses or mothers of inmates are involved in the racketeering of smuggling whatever could be sold into their locked hubby, boyfriends, sons, fathers, lovers and for the wardens and cops, they do for business; they earn much better from inmates if they successfully smuggled things in for them. Phones are three times more than the street price, so also everything here, even our food, vegetables and other edibles. Cigarettes was legalised to curbed smuggling, yet the cops as those controlling what is sold here and what they should prohibit won’t allow cigarettes to flow in freely; instead someone is controlling it and fix the price. The lads are still hoarding and selling fags at exorbitantly high price. Someone gotta smoke! 

 

Over the weekend I saw gallons after gallons of rum (proper street drink), many drank away their time and got too pissed that they slumped on chairs around the passage. Well, with nothing to do, there will always be something to do and it could be booze or snorted white lines. 

 

Tue, 1 Jul 2014 

@rmartinelli is now ex-president of panama, change of government which many Panamanians are waiting for. With everything new, many don’t know what this change will bring. But many are optimistic that #Varela will be the change they are dreaming of. Many want reductions in the prices of foods. But, got me wondering, if nobody is talking or thinking of unemployment. And for us, banged up on the inside, hope there’s something positive for us. 

 

09:33:31 time to get ready for my daily workout, been upstairs chatting and surfing at my mate’s bunk, and trouble is brewing over their water problem. There’s something to be done, and everyone believes someone will do it, but it ends up nobody did it. That’s the problem with my mate and his cellmates; they are all waiting, expecting each other to do things, but nobody will do anything and it end up, nothing is done! Lazy prisoners! Don’t wanna work, then you will eat shit and friggin prisoners shit 😉 

 

Cooking black-eye peas which we bought from our big miser, who nicked from the kitchen. Had to wash it about twenty times as the beans is full of dirts and stones. Seems the contractor in charge of our food went to the factory and bought all the leftovers, can’t believe this is what we have been eating. Well, so long it doesn’t kill anyone. 

 

Leaving to get ready for gym…. had enough this morning already. Hope to hit back and biceps. 

 

Missing schat and my musketeers 😉 

 

Comeback’s vijf D’s: Dromen, Denken, Durven, Doen, Doorzetten #MindsetOfAPrisoner #Comeback #Startups 

 

Problemen zie ik als een denkpuzzel die moet worden opgelost. Bovendien leert de ervaring dat moeilijke tijden juist nieuwe kansen scheppen.

 

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,

The deeper the grief, the closer is God.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment.

 

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” –  Kenji Miyazawa

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