“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ~ Maya Angelou #MayaTaughtMe
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou
According to the December’ 13 Reader’s Digest, “Longing for the past can help you fight loneliness and anxiety by bringing you closer to your loved ones.”
Majority of us survive through each day or through our low moments by reminiscing over beautiful and lovely moments of our past; I have seen inmates who had old pictures sent to them, and old homemade videos of birthdays, holidays and things to help them keep part of their past within them; heard of an inmate who just got married before crashing, had his wedding video and photos sent in to help with the loneliness. Every little helps…….#SurvivingPrison.
Monday, 26th of May 2014
Visit day, foods and things for sale floods the pavilion as inmates will come in with whatsoever was allowed or sneaked in. Majorities of what will come in, will end up being sold to sustain the seller’s life.
Woke up with my mind made up on what I’m doing today; after been away from my daily workouts due to my sore back and sciatica problem. I got up this morning dressing up to hit the gym.
Breakfast was milky-coffee; which the lads say is a mixture of industrial waste coffee mixed with cornmeal. Whatever it was, I served me this morning, had a cup with hard boiled eggs that came on the breakfast cart and two slices of whole grain bread. Wasn’t bad for prison breakfast.
The gym was scanty as many were out for our fortnightly visit. My mates helped me set out the bench for flatbench chest workout; did couple of light sets and gradually increased my weights and did couple of flyes, then rounded up with inclined. Did some pull-ups and hanging leg/knee raise. Finished with stretches.
Back in, dry on water, but got one and half tank; enough to wash my gym clothing and shower. But had my postworkout meal first; whey + oats + watermelon.
The lads came in with bags of whatever they had in today. Two of my cellmates went out, and back with enough food for one warm meal for two days; thus, today and tomorrow, we are sure of one warm meal a day. And for the rest of the week, we gotta hustle for either the group or individually. Such is prison life.
It’s supposed to be the rain season, but it turned out to be the flies season, the humidity, the stench of both our drainage and our bodies, and from uneaten foods are attracting them in thousands. Their presence has brought a different kind of business and someone is profiting from their presence. An inmate is selling a sticky plate that attracts the flies to it surface; once they land on it, there they remain, stuck for life ;-). I’m posting a picture of one the plates on my twitter timeline (@Doingtimeabroad) . Because of the sight, so many jokes are making rounds; like an ‘Arepa (grilled cornmeal) with flies’…. it’s usually ‘Arepa with chicken, or with eggs, or beef, and can also be with cheese. Now that we have plate full flies, we can as well have one with fried flies; probably the Chinese who eats everything that moves, might make something of it. Well, the flies are just one hell of nuisance here.
The prison kitchen knew today is our visit day, so they sent rubbish for lunch and dinner, but they seems to forget that, only few people amongst the population goes out for visit. In my cell of 11 men, only 2 went out and there are many cells that nobody went out; thus, we should be able to get something good either on the lunch or dinner cart. Wankers!
Ok, a mate gave me his phone to bluetooth him some of my music videos; got some badass videos on my memory cards which many here don’t have; 2Live crew, 2pac and loads of uncensored videos ;-). Not having enough memory space, had to delete some of his porn stash to make room for what I was sending. To my surprise, and a bit shocked, I was surprise to see that he’s jumped on the bandwagon of sending photos of body parts to his lady friend like most inmates here. He was the last person I thought will ever do that. Couldn’t ask him, but left them untouched as they weren’t meant for my eyes to see. Comes to mind, that prisoners can sort of engage in telepathic sex acts; get pictures or videos of the subject and think about something, then wank yourself till cum cums 😉
One of my mates can spend all night on phone-sex with his lady, whom we all believe is ripping him of all he makes from the sales of his liquor. But the lad is too in love to see; ‘love is blind’, more blind to a desperate prisoner who is seeing all is buddies hanging out online with women and even get physical contacts during visit. #PrisonLove!
In prison, it’s all about desperation; hustling and bustling, nobody cares who they trampled on.
Tuesday, 27 May 2014
Woke up feeling much better than yesterday, but always take my time before getting up from my concrete bed; check which body part is sore or aches.
The lads were up and about their daily rituals and also serious noise as they began their day with where they stopped yesterday. Yesterday’s exercises seemed to have helped as I feel strength on my lower back, though the sciatica pain is still there. Got about my daily routine, had a quick breakfast of hot chocolate drink with peanut butter sandwich. I have cut out sugar from all my food, except for my wine, which I need for the fermentation process. But can’t help it as I indirectly eat it when others cook; the lad that sometimes cook and shares with me, uses sugar to prepare chicken, others add it to brown beans, and in excess in rice pudding. They just can’t do without sugar; haven’t read recent scientific papers on sugar, friggin gives me something to think about. Maybe not me, but people that I know who can’t live without it.
Finally hit the gym, the lads are still basking in the fragrance of yesterday’s visit as the gym was scanty. Did loads of stretching and warm up before getting into shoulders, did most of my exercises sitting. Finally did good sets of pull-ups, which is another exercises that’s really good for my back.
Done with workout within an hour, back to the cell, water came briefly, when managed properly should take us through today. Heard the lad in charge of the pump and water, collected $300 each from two cells to supply them water everyday; when one is about leaving, they desperately hustle for what money they could gather for the new life they will soon be starting on the outside. The lad will be leaving soon, thus, is on a desperate mission to profit for what he does best. And that’s why water is rationed, he serves those cells that paid him first before coming to us. But he seemed to forget that it was my cellmate who bought the pump and paid to get it in. Such is prison life!
Meanwhile, on the news, search for the two missing Dutch students is being intensified with elite groups and dogs being used to search a section of the jungle that they believed to be. Our prayers are with their family and friends.
Also in the pavilion, three newbies were hauled in today, one is like a whale, he shouldn’t worry, we do accommodate all types; tiniest, big bones, greasy, girly or ladees typos, even men with DD cups are accepted, and he can keep his weight as he’s got loads of time to sleep, eat and sleep some more. They were given our usual prison welcome; heckling and catcallings, only our shemale wasn’t there to plant some warm kisses on them.
Talking of our shemale, she took my sunglasses, given to me by a mate when he left here. She hasn’t returned it, when I asked her for it. She gave me an offer; tocar mi tetas (deep masculine voice), said, I should caress her tits, what a sweet exchange; well, I couldn’t help but laugh, her tits has become a common commodities, one will touch it for 50ct or a stick of fag. I know what’s dangling between her two legs, thus, touching her tits won’t serve me any purpose, so I let it pass and tell her to keep the old banger glasses. She is a nice ladee though and nicer to her numerous patrons on the night train! They know themselves!
Whatever came on the prison food cart, wouldn’t know as we still dined on our foods from yesterday’s visit. By Wednesday we should be through with them and life goes back to what is normal; hustling and bustling.
Some cells are having diarrhoea problems, from food they ate that came in from visit, the lads are so greedy; that most won’t care to warm up the food that has stayed for hours before eating. And that’s the price of gluttony. My pharmacist-cellmate will be smiling to the bank or rather to his wife when she comes for their next conjugal visit as she will go home with money made from sales of diarrhoea medications. One gotta make ends meet; most inmates run businesses from inside to sustain their families on the outside, some recruits their wives and girlfriends to help with smuggling things. On several occasions, mothers and girlfriends have been arrested while trying to smuggle in prohibited articles to their wards or lovers ranging from mobile phone sim cards to handguns; knives, coke, joints, mobile phones, memory chips preloaded with intimate homemade porn videos meant for their lovers eyes; but later ended up with the cops, who now see what she has made for her man to keep him company ;-). The list goes on on!
Had to do bartering with my pharmacist-cellmate this evening, badly in need of painkillers, hope I don’t become addicted to them. Asked him to trade some for my dinner, as I wasn’t in the mood to eat rice at that time of the evening. He offered me Pronol, wasn’t a bad deal. Always allow him to have my dinner if it’s rice as I don’t do rice anymore in the evening. I rather have them immediately after my workout. Like I always say, the stress of living through monotonous life drives many into the search of comfort in diverse things; my mate like eating, and one can see it on his waistline, others will rather snort, drink or puff. Good for them!
The flies are getting on everyone nerves, even in our sleepspace, they are jus everywhere, made me spilled me tea. Will be tweeting pictures of them.
Two of my mates are walking backwards memory lane as one in his bed and the other in his hammock are talking about lives back then, I’m reading and partly listening to them. That’s what prison does to people; makes you wished you cherished every of those moment in the past.
Time to crash….ZzzzzZZzzzZzz!
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
My day to wash our toilet and shower room, woke up early, went about cleaning and set water for tea. Done and dressed up for another day in the gym. Left for the signal spot before any of my mates woke up. But the wifi signal came on just outside my cell. Thus, climbed up, sat on top of my cell while I enjoyed the early morning surf. Others using same wifi were still sleeping, so I had access to full bandwidth of the signal as their phones weren’t busy at that time of the morning. What finally brought me downstairs to my cell was my battery juice as it drained and nowhere above my cell to charge it. By then, the lads were up and about their morning rituals.
Water came early as I was about leaving for gym, had to filled all the tanks; thus, enough water to take us through tomorrow if anything silly happens.
The gym is still empty, but of our faces, instead I was seeing new faces and they keen to get into routines. But for how long will they be. Some will start with great enthusiasm of Olympic athletes, after few days or a week, the magic will dissipate into thin air like a genie in a bottle 😉
My group joined me and we did arms and I added pull-ups as it’s the only exercise I can do without pains. Still seated like other days, can’t risk standing. Did some yoga moves which got our Sikh pal watching me, he later came to me; telling me, that as a sikh, he’s not allowed to do yoga, as yoga is from a different religion. I responded to him, that’s why the world is at war; because of our differences in beliefs. I’m a christian, and found yoga very very very helpful, doubt if anybody will stop me from doing it, because of what they believe. Same fella has told me how been a vegan is so good, I told him I know; but where I am now, I can’t even get the meat to eat, talk less of getting vegetables…..got me lmao! All we get are leftovers after the lads working in the kitchen have nicked and sold the best parts of the meats. Whatever is left, the cut them into cubes, and for chicken, we get the skin and someone tells me to live on vegetables alone in a place like this. I do eat my portion of vegetables which I proudly tweet all my pictures but can’t survive solely on them as I need enough calories due to my active lifestyle unlike them; sleep, eat, shit and repeat all over and over again and then add some gossiping to spice up their day. Lol!
My local training partner, who was rejected when he first came here, but I accepted him into my group, came in with a paramedic who had probably at one time in his life lived in The US. But now, his residence is nowhere other than one of the local’s pavilions. He gave me a good massage and offered to come back tomorrow. When I asked him how much he charges, he said nada! All I wanted was a chilled bottle of powerade. Got him one, my co-foreign inmates won’t do that. Bless him. From what I have been reading about massage and what he did, he knew what he was doing. Hope he comes back tomorrow. Really need him, but still, I’m in doubt of what is wrong with me; I have fears that it’s something more severe. Hope it’s not my disc, every touch on a centre point at my back send shockwaves through my legs and I still feel numbness on my foot. Appalling when one doesn’t have clue of what goes on inside his own body.
Since my back got sore, climbing upstairs has become a irksome task. Sometimes, I need to get up for signal, but can’t be bothered, most time I rely on my mate’s wifi to connect.
Went upstairs in the evening, signal wasn’t strong enough, but ok to send off some tweets. And have a brief chat with schat, who was knackered as always after the day’s bustling.
Back in a my cell, showered and crashed after a cuppa of Earl Grey tea, wasn’t bad!
A bit cold all through the night, likely it might rain.
Thursday, 29 May 2014
Up before others to use the loo, sat back in my bed, reading through #BBCNews of what’s happening around the world. Surprising, the case of the two missing Dutch students are on BBC, so bad that such a thing should happen.
Last night, vigil were held in the town of Boquete where they went to do social work with children before disappearing. Praying and hoping at least they find something belonging to them, a sign of hope. From the BBC article, in 2009, a 29 years also vanished from that same area; what they heck is in that area. There could be a sleeping serial killer who operates and then stay low for a very long time and probably one, who doesn’t like tourist or foreigners. Something gotta be done about this, or Panama tourism will receive a great blow, that will send it spiralling down as tourists will be scare of visiting panama, as no one knows who will be next.
Despite the rain, the police came to conduct our weekly headcount, having stashed our phones, we filed out to be counted and confirmed present. Left with my little wooden chair made by a lad who is now freed. Seated by our little altar or shrine as the lads has turned it to be; hundreds of rosaries hung on the statue of vrigin marry inside the little carved out structure, along with other sculptures and images on the walls. There’s no place in the pavilion as clean as this little religious spot; there’s always one faithful busy cleaning and washing the marble floor and polishing the tiles to maintain its brilliance.
One will look upon prison as a place of desolate and torture; but after years on the inside, I came to find out that there’s no place on earth where religion thrives than in prison and amongst prisoners. While seated by the altar, every inmate that comes out, walked first to the front of the altar and muttered some silent, inaudible words of prayers to the virgin mother. They braced the rain for that few seconds they will observe this personal rituals. At that moment, my fellow inmates become one with their creator, heart synchronised with their body, mind and soul and their mouths utters what is in their hearts; what else will be in the heart of a prisoner standing before his God? Protection, good health, freedom, and to make it out alive. Once that part is said and done, they are back to what they are or meant to be; the one that walks with knives in his pants, will go back and armed himself, the one selling dope, will get back to what put food on his table, we the distillers will go back to our brewery to churn out more of what makes and gives the lads their #HappyHour. And we all ask God to protect us. This is prison, where men sought for God at the moment of need and once they walk out free; many must have left God behind in the cells to watch over the next man coming.
The headcount went well as there wasn’t any missing, though it took some of late sleepers ages to walk out for this brief process. Got back in, had breakfast of two fried eggs with whole wheat bread; the eggs were from what one of my mates brought in during Monday’s visit, much better than what we buy here. Well, this is prison, so what we get are what have been rejected or about to expired. Went back to bed after my breakfast, slept through as it was raining; my mates were making fun of our little still-in-the-closet mate, that he should join me and keep me warm as it’s raining. The is wary of them; but from all we have heard about him, he shouldn’t remain in the dark about his life. He’s a grown-ass man, never had girlfriend, no kids, and prefer companies of ladies as friends and we heard from someone (almost everyone knew him on the street, a little too much of liquor, he’s off his pedestal, dancing and wanting to get shacked) that’s a lil queer and different from others. We sort of accept him for who he is, but he’s just one dirty gay, always know gays to be clean and tidy people, but this one is off-balance. Stashes foods and forgets about them, had to be reminded that he has food from the previous day. Most of us have one or two bowls, but he’s got like six, and three could be fill with food uneaten at a point in time. He has learned quite a lot from living with us 😉
The local inmate who gave me massage yesterday called back today, was sleeping when he came. We went through the same routine and he did very well. But I’m still in pain, as my back feels very sore. It’s likely I will be using my last option; make contact with my emabssy and see what they can do to help, it’s over three weeks now.
Another set of three newbies were hauled in this evening, from what I heard, they are not really new, maybe new to our pavilion, they are from different prisons in the interior parts of the country. Hope they enjoy their stay in their new residence.
Thursday evening; it’s almost weekend, the lads are doing what they do best; music is blasting from different parts of the pavilion as the lads burn the night away. With nothing of importance to do here and been an open plan pavilion, one is free to move around at any time of the day or night, but then at one’s own risk. Many of us can brave the night and walk around, but there are also few who sleep with their cells fully under lock, for fear of sins they have committed somewhere in their past. In the underworld, one knows that, time is just a delay factor, karma will always catch up with one, justice delayed is not justice denied. I have witnessed karma crawled up and caught someone from his past. Thus, many here know who they are or what they were before incarceration, thus, they know what is coming to them; sooner or later.
I’m out of data, used up my credit to make an important call; spoke with my musketeers, it’s one call I dread making, as I’ve ran out of answers or rather lies to keep them in suspense to why I’m not home by now. My boy always say, ‘you’ve been away for too long’, they don’t need to know now, well, some day in the future they will get to know, probably read my blogs and tweets, until then, let them remain and be kids that they are; innocent, free from our corrupt minds.
Downstairs in my cell, everything seems to be normal and in place, exception of the lad who walks around with a bottle of Johnson baby oil and massages other inmates for a fee, but was also involved with a compatriot of his who gets his kick from battering the masseur’s face. They were like two couple that couldn’t get along and can’t be parted; fight in the day and make up at night when we’re all dead asleep. Since the lad left, he hasn’t been treated badly like then, now look freshen up, but he does miss the lad as his phone is filled with the lad’s photos. Still got a thing or two for the lad.
He was in my cell, giving quick massage to all my mates who are all having problems with their backs. Since mine began, they have been complaining of aching back; kinda telepathic 😉
I was too tired to talk or be part of the jokes that was going on. Crashed and slept off only to wake up around 2:30am to use the loo.
Friday, 30th May 2014
An early day, couldn’t sleep, instead of lying and allow thoughts to weigh me down, turned on some music on my phone and did some reading. Though, the mind still try to wonder and wandered far outside the walls of the pavilion, I tried and focused on the task at hand; reading.
Finally got up as the rest of my cell came to live, went through what has become my daily rituals before climbing upstairs to my signal spot. Signal is bad as the spot is packed full, sooner or later the wire mash will give way and nobody will be able to stand around that spot anymore.
Sat by my mate upstairs sipping a hot cup of Earl Grey tea as I’m out of green tea, hope my consul get me some as I have placed order for some packs. She had earlier written that I should remind the lads to send in their list for our extra-shopping; I need so much, but can’t afford to get her to buy them.
The local masseur came around to work on my back, still in pains, I’m afraid what I’m thinking is a minor strain could be something of a very serious nature; could be an inflamed disc, hope it’s not a herniated disc. So much goes inside our bodies, and all we do is gamble around and with it. My last resolve is to get some shots of Dexo-Neurobion, but first need money to buy them and get them in through our transporters; smuggling wardens.
Both legal and illegal stuffs are smuggled in as nothing is legally allowed in and only if you can afford their over-the-top fees.
It’s Friday and it’s weekend, thus the lads are up and about with what will make them happy and forget where they are; but for the moment, as we’ll all get back to where we left our senses after the merriment. All around the pavilion, pockets of inmates sat together sharring whatever they have or had polled their meagre resources to purchased. At the end, the weakest links, who will drink and get stupid will suffer
Saturday, 31st May 2014
Been up twice before others to use the loo, also took cardio-aspirin; health is wealth!
Finally up as others got up clearing the meagre belongings from the floor and under the beds. It’s our general cleaning, which means washing of the entire cell and it’s my turn. But since there was no water yesterday, not sure if to carry on with it. We’ve got just five tanks of water, which wouldn’t take us through Saturday and I need about four tanks to wash the cell, wash the two shower curtains (one in the toilet, the other in the showe room). Heard the pump running, went to the Jamaican lad in charge of the pump and asked him if he will be giving us water today; he snubbed me and sent me off. Called off the cleaning, if he gives us water, which he later did, I will do the cleaning on Sunday morning. Soon, the lad will be leaving, got many wondering, if he will go with all these things he so claimed they are his; he’s busy selling everything in his cell and his mates allows him to get away with it. The prison beds aren’t for sale, but he’s selling them and also water. Well, I don’t live with him, so, I can’t say much as I don’t what sort of arrangement his mates got with him.
Cooked cow lungs with curry and ate it with white rice, got it yesterday for our one-hot meal a day, also bought some avocados, that should take me through some days; basically eat them with anything, with rice, on bread, fried or boiled green plantain or potatoes, like them spicy.
My masseur came today, feeling much better, but still shocking pain and limited movements around my lower back, can’t even scream or cough without feeling pains. Hope it improves soon, so I can get back to my workout routines.
Two of my mates decided to take to the bottle today as they both sat down and drink all day. Ended on a good note as no one vomited or any brawl, music switched off after they had made soup with chunks of meat that came for lunch. Each showered and headed to their beds, to wake tomorrow with a bang in the head; hangovers!
Enough rainwater from the evening rainfall to take us through Sunday. Spent some hours upstairs, connected to my mate’s wifi, don’t know how long it will last, but will enjoy it while I stay connected.
Signal through phones is becoming difficult, the only way to getting online is through router/wifi connection, and the latter are all over the pavilion, most cells has got two or more routers. One of the Chinese once told me, they are ordering a powerful router, much better than what we have here; with the mings everything seems possible.
#Saturday, like other Saturdays, music and life fills the air of the pavilion as inmates winds down the stress of he week, my cellmates were churning gallons after gallons of liquor to their clients, some will pay instantly, others will send an #IOU note to be paid later. They haven’t had problems with getting paid unlike most dealers who regularly get into brawls during debt collecting.
Finally got downstairs as signal was bad, had my 3rd shower of the day, the rain isn’t helping as it’s not falling as we want it to cool the grilling heat and maybe drive the flies away; everything seems to be driving one crazy here and coupled with the incessant noise. Some of lads out of boredom can’t begin a moment of madness; screaming, shouting for no reason, well, it’s what happens to those with weak minds. Pathetic….. #PrisonLife
Sunday, 1st Of June, 2014
My day of rest, but have been having days of rest due to my sore back, forced to take unwanted days from my daily workouts. Sometimes, rest and sleep is the best medicine.
Woke up early before others, dressed up and went upstairs to the signal spot, knowing fully well I will be doing the general cleaning of yesterday today. We had enough water to get the cleaning done.
My mate came for me when they had all woken up, had to get down and get on with the cleaning. Was done within the hour. Showered and washed up the towels used to dried the floor. The lads started with distilling. They used up all the water, as of 9pm we were left with no water in our small tanks, just a few litres in the big blue tank for toilet use. My gossiping mate who reports what goes on in the cell during my absence wanted me to say something about it, but I refused, instead told to speak out as they are of the same country and language. Got my reserves that will take me through days if there won’t be water.
In the multi-purpose hall; the two faiths took turns holding their services for their faithfuls; an ecstacy fills the air as songs, clapping all synchronising with those in pavilion 5 got the the pavilion shaking. When all is said and done, every man will go back to being what they truly are; the thief, a thief, the gossip will find something to talk about, the gambler will look for the green table, the dope head will search for his bodily high after enjoying the spiritual high, and the prison pastor will take note of all these so he knows what information to pass on to his controllers.
Since the lads are on a distilling marathon, had to make way for them, out of sight should also be out of mind; less talk or gossip about the absent one. But not among idle prisoners. Out of sight literally means; bring him up on the gossip board and lets dissect him. But I don’t give a shit, grilling hot upstairs, but much better than downstairs in my cell, which has gotten me showered twice already.
Had to retire to my bunk as it’s getting late, the cop on the tower seems to be in total blackout, the search light has probably burned out and they are not ready to get it fixed. Whatever goes on out there, they aren’t scare of us escaping as we know, they will shoot to kill anything that jumps over the fence; experience the say, is the best teacher, or I will rather put it this way; lessons learned from mistakes and past failures are one’s best teacher. We have seen them aimed guns at escaping inmates and pulled the triggers, shooting them even at close range. #PanamaJusticia
Finally got in when the lads had all snuggled into their sleep spaces. Took another shower before hitting my bed; not feeling too good, feverish, and also sweating. Popped in some aspirin before hitting my bunk, where I read till nature called.
Monday, 2nd of June 2014
My mate who’s leaving today woke me up as he was doing his round of cleaning. Probably his last one, if he doesn’t come back like most did. He has been busy all weekend building a stash for his partner phone; lad should’ve send the phone out before today, hope the stash sruvive the rough searches by the cops, as they know many will try to leave with their phones. My compatriot who left couple of weeks ago, foolishly took his old banger blackberry with him, but was found by the cops upstairs. They will recycle it into the population as it’s not what they will want to keep.
Sat up, stretching my sore back till he was done with his cleaning. Finally got down and went about my morning rituals; brushing, water for tea and used the loo. Changed to something better, and left for the signal spot. Wasn’t much there, the lads are still sleeping out after a weekend of revelling.
Gradually, the lads were coming out of their cocoons, one after the other with either a cup of coffee in their hands, or sticks of fags or joints between their fingers as they continued from where they stopped last night. Clanking sound of metals on the far end from where I sat as the gym ealry birds hits the weights, some talked their way outside into the patio where they could run and enjoyed the early morning weather.
Part of the gossip making rounds early this morning, was what happened during last night raving in the pavilion. So much can happen within a split of a second in prison, nothing is certain and nothing is one’s own. Nobody was talking about the binged-drinking, the rolls of joints that got puffed or how many lines were snorted. But the open-secret news making rounds is what happened to our shemale mate; apparently whatever she does and with whoever she does it with, is supposed to remain a secret between the consented parties. But something slipped and few people heard about it and in a place where men sit all day and gossip, it’s bound to spread like wildfire. Our shemale snorted, downed a little too much and got shagged, but just couldn’t hold her posterior tight; had to lubricate the lad’s shaft with some a not-sweet-smelling brown liquid. One, that the shagmeister had to cancel his ass hunting adventure. Guess that was the only news making rounds this morning, but like other news, it will fade off as we are used to such news. Nothing is new here, not even the newbies, as someone always knows someone somewhere.
Stayed upstairs for a while until the spot became crowded, had to leave for my cell and took my morning shower as it was becoming hot and the flies were also out and about. Now I know why many here prefer walking topless; the heat is like a microwave heat, boiiling from inside.
Long to hit the weights but can’t risk my body in this state, it will be like adding salt to an injury. Better stay on with my yoga stretching and try to get enough rest, the later is impossible as my cell is the meeting zone for my mate’s pals and also it has become a distillery. The lads distil for themselves and also distil for others for a fee. Another of their friend who used to distilled in his cell now distills in my cell, not happy about it and have made my mind clear to them.
With the heat in the pavilion, everything seemed to slow down and not working out also made my day longer. But, kept myself busy with reading and occasionally winding down with #CandyCrushSaga and #Sudoku, and also read some past copies of The Economist and TIME magazines, just about anything readable. Also busy with Napoleon Hill’s think and grow rich, which is my nightly read.
In my cell, my gayish cellmate, whom I have also been hearing of his addiction to snorting gave himself up when he forgot his paraphernalia in the toilet. Being an open pavilion, there’s no place he can hide and do his doping. The only place he knows he can have a bit of secrecy is in the toilet; once in and curtain drawn, nobody will suspect what he’s doing. But today, he forgot the tools of his trade which another mate found and showed them to me; being the longest-staying occupant of the cell. Took a picture to keep as evidence as I’m planning to confront him personally not in the presence of his compatriots who laugh behind him and will never confront him or any other person.
The lads visit the toilet so often, made me want to ask him, if he has irritable bowel syndrome, now I know why he’s always in the toilet. My pharmacist-cellmate who sleeps above the toilet has seen him on several occasions gone into the toilet and sat there and not shitting, but groans and then pour water to make us think he has just shit. But he goes in to the toilet to snort his powder. Brings to mind, where does he get money, we feed him and even his toiletries are given to him by the rest of us. once in a while, he does get call card and later sells them, but nobody knows what he does with the money. Now everything is falling into place, and we know what he does with the little meagre money he makes, all goes into doping. Will talk to him soon. And explain to him what happens when cops finds dope in cells during search; an American mate, back in Renacer had a month or two left to be repatriated after 3yrs in panama prisons. A wrap of Marijuana was found on him by a warden, the warden asked for $50 to turn a his eyes away, the lads told him off. The warden got him off and booked him. The following day we had investigators from the fiscal office around to interview him. After all said and done, he spent another 2yrs on the inside for what he would’ve paid 50 bucks and be back home. Also in this pavilion, when an inmate whose cellmates sent photos of him snorting to his missus, and reported the lads to cops; sending cops to their weed stash and knives. The cops were paid over a grand to close the case without further prosecution. Such is the risk of doping on the inside; meet the wrong cop or warden, one is fucked for life all over again. Hope my adicto girlboy will just be ordinary jolly fella and not addicted gay.
Tuesday, 3rd June 2014
Now, I’m beginning to know how people become addicted to painkillers. Tossing around and about on my bed all night as I search and test for the right position to sleep, one that won’t hurt me so much.
Woke up as soon as my pharmacist-cellmate was done with his cleaning. Went through what has become part of me on the inside; use the loo, brush my teeth, water for tea; dressed up to hit the gym, but changed my mind as I was still in pains.
Everyone could see that I was in agony from the way I walk, went upstairs to my mate by the signal spot, my mate had connected my to his wifi; though signal is bad, but I do get on when it’s better. Spent the early morning upstairs till noon when they had made their lunch; didn’t get breakfast. My mate bought some fresh fish, well, who knows how many years they had been frozen, but for us inmates, it’s fresh. Though the black Colombians from the coastal regions of Colombia whose major occupation is fishing, know what fresh fish is. Fish and boiled green plantain is their food; when the centre stopped families from bringing in fishes during visit, they held series of meetings on that alone. Can’t friggin believe, when we should be holding meetings for our basic necessities like water, sleep spaces and beds, medicare, and on lawyers robbing inmates. The lads are busy holding meetings for fish. Their argument was, they grew up eating fishes, so the authorities should allow their loved ones to bring in prepared fish-dish. Their plea was answered and since then, we have been having assortments of fishes during every fortnightly visit. But we also get those frozen ones in through our grocers who charges twice or thrice the sticker price.
My mate had the fishes fried, and we had it with white rice and slices of tomatoes and onions; but couldn’t have mine dried, had to make guacamole with the last of my avocados. Wasn’t a bad combo.
Long to get back to my workout, but can’t risk my body at this state. Have written my consul and hope she will be able to get me the needed medication before her next visit. Have also talked to the inmate in charge of the clinic list, hope he add my name for Friday visit. My self-medication is helping, but I think I need some proper medical attention. Will do my best to get on the list.
Didn’t allow one our distillers to distil today as the heat was just too much, if he was allowed, the distillation heat plus the heat from the cell will be killing, not even upstairs that use to be a bit breezy was spared from the grilling heat of today. The occasional rain hasn’t been helping, it should be continuous to ushered in the cool weather we long for. Not just prisoners suffering, the country is facing drought as water for livestock is drying up as there isn’t enough rainfalls.
Spent most of the day upstairs after my shower and taking off my training kits as I couldn’t make it to the gym anymore.
Reading and being busy with other things sort of shortened my day. Finally left for my cell, which was a bit relaxed as the lads have all packed up for the night.
Showered and hit my bunk, did some reading and wait for nature’s calling……….
Wednesday, 4th June 2014
Through the early hours…….finally get to sleep after popping 200mg of diclofenac and 500mg of paracetamol, at this moment, I will go for anything that will numb the pain. A mate has told me to try weed, made my research, might worth giving it a try, maybe brew it with my green tea and drink it or add it to my salad; that will be the proper herbal salad 😉
Finally slept after some hours of reading; Napoleon Hill’s ‘The Law of Success’. A mate thought me a bit strange, as I’m reading this book, and not knowing what awaits me on the outside or life after time done. Told him, that’s why I’m reading it to be prepared and also a change of strategy. My thieving lawyer once said ‘there are plans A-Z’ ‘if plan A fails, you’ve still got 25 more plans’……. if plan A didn’t fail, we wouldn’t be here at the first place, though many are here just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Woke up as soon as our girlboy was done with cleaning; he cleans for the oldest by age inmate here and who was also the one that brought him in here as they knew each other back on the streets; everyone seems to know the lad as he’s very colourful in character. A few drink does the tricks, friggin transformed from what he is now to some colourful lass.
Water for tea, and dressed up as I’m bent on hitting the gym today. Popped in a capsule of diclofenac, armed with my tea, my local training partner came for me, we hit the gym together. Did few warm ups and went straight into chest routines; flatbench press, flyes, declined and inclined. In-between each set we added push-ups, abs and other body-weight exercises; lunges, squat. Rounded up with yoga stretches and more abs exercises. Couldn’t believe the strength I had today and how I pulled through; the human body does better under pressure. My training mates were so happy to have me back, made them understand, that my comeback will be a gradual process until I’ve fully recovered. Even then, I will be careful with what weight I work with. Though, I’m used to the gimmicks of the gym and of a mate, who, despite being seriously ill always want to show how strong he is; he’s been off for weeks now. His, a bit complicated; high #BP, high cholesterol, diabetes and hernia. He was due to be taken to the big hospice in the city, but they didn’t come up for him, friggin worried. He’s also on self-medication!
Another round of rainfall given us enough water that will take us through tomorrow if anything happen. Unlike other cells, we don’t have enough tanks or containers to store water. So if all our tanks are filled, it takes us two days to use all up. If we fall into crisis on the third day, then, each man pulls out his reserves. Always praying it doesn’t get to that, but it does happen.
Yesterday, a prominent lawyer who knows people that knows important people came and call up some of his old and new clients. Broke a new scheme that will enriched him and his cronies, but will cost the lad so much, but also for their freedom. He needs forty inmates who will pay 10grand each and those that had reached half of their sentences, then he will get them out; but deported out of the country. After hearing from different sources who went upstairs, many are beginning to question the genuineness of such information. If it’s true, then it should be a free programme that is probably will be done by the new government who will be taking over soon. But him, being a smart crooked lawyer wants to benefit from it before others know of it. Fingers crossed as we wait to know what is happening or what will happen.
20:32:47… upstairs at the signal spot. The television stations have been very good to us, as they screen most of the friendly matches live, which keeps the lads glued to their television sets. I won a can of soft drink yesterday when Brazil took on panama, my cellmate didn’t lnow who was playing; betted with me blindly and I won.
Breaking News; while the rest of us are busy with whatever will keep us going, some of us are having the time of their lives while doing time. Our remaining shemale and night nurse came to one of the oldest inmate here and told him to warn one his cellmate, whom apparently is owing our shemale twenty bucks for service rendered. Her threat and message to the lad was one that will make the lad pay up as soon as he get this message “tell him, if he doesn’t pay me, I will go up to the PA system and tell the Pavilion why he has to pay and what he did”. Not even a deaf or blind man find this hard to understand what the lad did; lately I have been seeing the lad stay up very late, and apparently, he’s also gotten pearl in his mojo. Probably, he didn’t have the patience to wait till his release to try it, he had to find a willing partner, and who else other than our night nurse. But, what baffles me most, every businesses in the pavilion can function on credit; you don’t wwant stock wraps of Marijuana, pouches of coke, wrap of cracks, not even my beloved wine or our potent disilled liquor as all these could be taken during a good and brutal search. Those selling pastries, cooked food, vegetables, grocers and even my pharmacist-cellmate all deal on credit. But not someone rendering services that is much-needed and one which many had been denied for years should render such service on credit. Not even on the streets; no pussy-business is done on credit, some putanas won’t even accept foreign currency not credit card. But our shemale has made herself very cheap as she is in dire need of cash to support her other habits. So she does do some favours to her regulars and this young lad happened to be one of her secret regular. But has since failed to redeemed his #IOU and his credibility has been degraded and annulled. And now our firebrand madame want her benjamins or else we will all know what happened on the said #DarkNight!
My night is getting darker, should be calling it a night, too much for my heavy ears. Couldn’t help laughing when our shemale came to sent her caliente message to the lad. Guess the lad will search for money from all angle and pay up asap!
Thursday, 5th of June 2014.
Woke up late as my mates were all up before 7am, waiting for me to get up so they can do the stashing before the call for our weekly headcount. Had slept very late, as of 2am, I was still awake and woke up to use the loo by 5am. Had to dressed up for an early workout outside; that will be my first outing in more than one month now. We thought it was going to be a search, so we had all stashed, but it was just a normal headcount, none missing as all were accounted for.
Used the short time to brisk-walked and did some running before hitting some sets of reverse-rows on the monkey bars behind the pavilion.
Back in, went straight into my workout of the day; another all-body #HIIT #Hardcore #CrossFit with more emphasis on shoulders. My two training partners joined me and the Chinese group with their mates joined; ended up working in a group of 8-10 men. Drew a #HIIT program for them, which was excruciating, but they all loved it and their fats were bleeding sweats 😉
Back to my cell, made a protein shake and had it with peanuts. Showered as there was enough water in the cell. Had to cook as the lads didn’t want to do anything. We got about 15 eggs and I made vegetable-egg sauce, which we ate with rice. Slept while it rained, more water for us and bit of destruction in the city as the rain battered some parts of the country. Had my rice when I woke up from my afternoon nap, really needed the nap.
I’m cut off again from my mate’s wifi that I have been using, probably they have changed the password. Thus, I have to head back to our signal spot which will soon collapse if the welders don’t get it fixed on time. Lately, some dope-up inmates been falling into the different potholes in the mash, many are walking with bloody scars on their legs, and none has taken tetanus shots. They all depend on my pharmacist-cellmate antibiotics. Hope it does help them fight infections.
If there’s anything prison does to a man, it’s pure laziness. Many of will sit, sleep and eat through our time without moving an iota of muscle. My pharmacist-cellmate started working on Monday as the cop assistant; stand by on the door to open it when anyone is going out or coming in. Well, that’s supposed to be the cop’s job, but in a place where everyone just want to be lazy, the system created jobs for inmates for time-reduction. I chose schooling as I’m keen on improving on my spanish and also gives me time to train; school is every fortnight, but less time-reduction than work. Ok with it.
My cellmate is so lazy, after each day’s work, he comes in battered and run around looking for the Mexican maaseur to hit his back. Jokingly, always tell him, he should become a repeat-Offender, by coming back here after his release.
Though working outside should give him the opportunity to hustle and bustle; buying things the locals had nicked amongst themselves and sent to be sold amongst the foreigners, but my friend is to lazy to hustle. The hot sun has turned him red, he complains of the work; guess he prefers sitting all day gossiping about other men, like his peers does. Glad he’s working as he disturbs my phone. Lad lost his phone in the last mundial search and is not ready to buy another one, despite all the dough he’s making. Changed my phone’s pincode 😉 that should deterred him.
Back in, the lads were all knockout sleeping! Showered and got my last cup of green tea; actually got the two packs I ordered more than 3 weeks ago and also bought 6 more packs costing my in total $24! Friggin expensive.
Friday 6 June 2014
Up twice to use the loo, finally up and waited for the lad cleaning to round up and the lads to be done with their morning rituals. Finally got down when the coast was cleared, went through my morning rituals, dressed up for another bouts of gym time.
The gym is still scanty, seems many are still in festive mode or sleeping out their hangovers. Went on an all-body assault, with some mates joining me. Had to round up early as my body couldn’t handle much of the stress; the pain on my lower back seems to persist. Rounded up with more stretching to relieve me of this agonising pain.
Back in the cell, the lads were busy with nothing; bit of drinking and chatting, the only things that keeps them going after their marathon chats with their street ladies. They are all hooked on wifi, so connection is constant. Made me a brunch of whey protein, peanuts, oats and a cornmeal mixture (original given by the ministry of health to inmates with HIV/AIDS; nutritious and to meet their nutrients requirements as many can’t eat solid food at some point, but like everything in the centre, those in charge of getting these most-needed food to these sick inmates diverts them to others who are willing to pay, leaving the sick inmates to their fate with HIV/AIDS).
Had my brunch and hit the shower, not enough water in the cell, but enough to catch a proper shower and washed my gym clothing. The lads knowing very well there’s not enough water today went on to distil at my disapproval. But then, we all believe, it’s our right to do whatever please us without thinking of the other man’s own rights.
Spent the rest of the day upstairs at my friend’s bunk, signal is off and on. The atmosphere in the pavilion is charged as we are on our festive mode; music crossing through all cultures can be heard from different corners of the pavilion; Salsa, Merengue, Vallenato, Dancehall, Gangster rap, latino pop/rock, ranchera, boleros/ballads, and singalongs, all these are accompanied with occasional catcalls as the lads reminisce of past glories as these songs take them aback into a temporary lost world. As I have seen first hand, not many who walked or hauled in here alive made it out alive. Entranced in their music, joints passes hands, so also cups of moonshine or distil, whichever they chose for the night kill. Those opting for a stronger high, tende to go white as lines of el rey (the king of all highs) as snorted to give the ultimate high.
My gayly cellmate wasn’t left out or wouldn’t want to be outdone in the moments of celebration, lately our suspicions had been confirmed with what we have seen and due to his carelessness. Lad depend on us for everything as he seems to have no one around, despite living in panama for more than twenty years. He does get money to buy wrap of coke from one of the numerous pharmacists in the pavilion. But one thing his dealers failed to provide is where to stay and consume his purchase. The lad rather prefer our toilet which the curtain will provide the perfect hideout to indulge in his desires. On several occasions he has forgotten the tools of his addiction on one of the water tanks. When called to pick them up; he makes up excuses that they are for cutting nails….ya right! talking to kindergarten kids!
He always walks into the toilet, sit down and pretend he’s having a shit; one could hear the groans of a hard shit coming out, then the silence, also comes occasionally calling of attention to know who’s around and how close. If everyone seems far, he unrolls his arsenals and begin his processing.
Today’s incident was #caughtoncamera, while sitting on my bunk, he walked in and went through his check-sound; nobody was interested in his shit. He went on to unroll his purchase, then I stood up with my phone and recorded everything that went right inside the shit house. One annoying thing, is the amount of tissue paper he wasted on his addiction, and we all gives him when we have excesses, mine during my embassy visit; what I get is for three months, but don’t mind giving him and others does same on visit days. The other thing about him, he’s a poor junkie, unlike the Mexicans and some Colombians who snort a whole pouch on one go, he tends to use his little by little.
He stopped drinking as that brings out the animal in him, but the snorting also is turning him to something else, he hoards food for days in different bowls and forgets that he has food stashed away, until they all get spoiled. And the drinks seems to always make him what to get shagged, so he was adviced to stay away from booze, which he has so far been able to restrained himself, but not from angel dust, which is his new buddy.
We are yet to hold a meeting about his case, one of my holy-arth-thou cellmate wants him thrown out, but then, nobody will take him, I’m against throwing him out as he will end up in the gym hall. But then, we can’t help him as talking won’t stop him and neither does the prison system have any program to help weaned addicts off their addictiosns. Thus, he’s on his like everyone of us, he has to find his redemption himself and set himself free from his own demons. But, will definitely talk to him about all I have seen and not what I have heard.
Earlier this evening, we heard barrages of gunshots and pellets or bearings from shotguns raining on our roof, one would have thought, it’s finally raining hailstones in panama. But being in one of latin america’s notorious prison, we know what it was. That quickly got our stashing mode activated as none knows why the bullets were raining on us. If it’s an escape attempt by an inmate from amongst us, then we will definitely get a hard visit from the cops and that will be a brutal assault or search on us.
Others went upstairs to fine out what was going on, then we saw inmates running in large groups, some armed with machete, knives and one was firing at another group of inmates. Cops came in and the large group withdrew to their pavilion, which happen to be pavilion 5, the most religious pavilion in the centre; daily night vigils and prayer meetings and yet they hoard the most arsenals of warfare in the centre.
The story of today’s incident goes like this: three inmates were been transferred or relocated from another pavilion to pavilion 15 (another hot pavilion, where heads rolls when their war starts). These three lads being from a rival gangs were seen by the gangs from pavilion 5, who then break free despite the cop stationed outside their pavilion. A prisoner pastor who was at the scene intervened and the warden in charge of the lads had to stepped in-between the charges. The larger group with arms tried climbing the wire fence to get to the lads being transferred, some got torn by the razor-sharp wires. When the cops finally came, the large group of attackers started dispersing to their pavilion. The pastor, warden and rapid response by trigger-happy cops saved those three lads, but then, they survived to fight or die another day.
Meanwhile, the lad whom our queen been pursing for his late payment for nightly or obscured service rendered seems to be playing hide and seek with our queen, soon she will catch up on him. Lad just couldn’t wait to get out before trying his pearl-in-dick 😉
And the rumours or what was supposed to be a secret on inmates who had done half of their sentences paying to be released was all false news. It spread quickly and about, the high profile lawyer who proposed that business to some inmates denied all allegations linking him to that rumours. He doesn’t know, majority of us does nothing all day, other than chatting and entranced in our indulgences of porn and more porn 😉
Saturday 7 June, 2014
Some will be sleeping out their hangovers from last night sleeping, while others are still on the benders. One of the best drinkers is languishing at the immigration waiting to be deported back to his country; when the lad starts drinking, he doesn’t stop until the fourth day. Friggin wonder how his liver and kidneys (if he’s got two) handle those loads of liquor. Well, as of 7am when I was awoken by my mates cleaning today, there was still noises upstairs from those drinking. My first and only question to the lad; ‘is there enough water’? As of the time I went to bed, we had just one tank left and taking a look, it has gone half. The electric pump was running, but not sure if the lad in charge will give us some today.
The lads went on with their cleaning and used up almost what we had. When I finally went downstairs, there wasn’t much left. Did remind them of my question earlier in the day. A little rain later in the evening gave us few more litres of water, didn’t have to use my reserves.
Have had my breakfast of oatmeal + eggs upstairs at my mate’s bunk. Thus, no food, just showered and climbed my bunk for a quick nap as I didn’t get enough sleep.
Still in pains, and just when I thought about my masseur, he came in and helped with massaging of my sore back; explained to him how serious some part are. He was careful as not to cause more harm, his massages does help. Sold me an ointment which is usually given at the clinic, something I really need, thus, have to buy it, set me back five bucks.
Spent most of the day in my cell, one of the lads distilled a tank of his mash after seeing what profits his pal reaped last night from the sales of his liquor. The lads sells vegetables and want to also be part of the bootlegging business. At the end, he will be like others who dabbled into many businesses but couldn’t keep none as they went out of business due to dealing in credits.
Finally made it upstairs later in the evening, where several parties were holding. Behind the cells, was puro salsa and rhumba as the lads were kicking out funky salsa steps and street style salsa dance. What else should one expect from the men locked up and sequestered away from civilisation and time; to many of us here, our time has stood still, live ceased to continue for them, they are like men travelling in a time vacuum. Like that little hamster who runs its wheel day in and day out.
Meanwhile, my gayly cellmate has probably had little too much of toilet sniff; he’s been acting too hyper, told him to try and get some sleep. Couldn’t sleep either, guess someone must have given him a free line to snort as he rarely does a complete pouch. And I believe he must have paid for that line with his mouth service, many are talking about his new pals in the pavilion; men who would love to have him on his knees in front of them. Some come to the cell to check him out, call him out for hours. Hope he’s responsible for whatever he brings into the cell as I won’t answer his call when cops discovers his stash during search.
Stayed up till around 1am as I had a long power nap earlier in the day. When I finally got downstairs, the cell was quiet, that a pin dropped on the floor can be heard.
Hit my bed and did some reading only to be disturbed by a flying cockroach to hit me on the face, friggin sent me scrambling around. Little fcuker escaped, need to get a can of baygon or raid; should order that with my consul, If she will add it to my shopping list.
Sunday, 8 June 2014
Last to sleep, should be last to wake, but not with my singing cellmate; lad wakes by 6am, always with a song that has no meaning. Guess, it’s his own way of handling the stress and distressing himself. Have warned him several times, our morning begins by 8am, that’s the norm in the pavilion. Noises are not allowed after 10pm and before 8am, but many don’t give a shit about those rules as they are constantly broken.
While waiting for them to round up, I did some yoga stretches on my bunk. My back is still sore and seems to be very weak. Praying it’s nothing serious.
Finally had my turn, went through my rituals and made a cup of tea, drank some and went out to have a good shave as I was beginning to look like captain caveman. My mate who wakes up and walk around with towel all day had water in the shower room, but wasn’t ready to leave his chattering with his mates and take his shower had me waiting. Finally pressed him to round up so I can take my turn. Finally had a brunch of cold oats + peanuts + whey protein + cinnamon, was finally and better than the rice + sardine the lads cooked today. They had all had their breakfast, earlier on.
Salty lentils mixed with leftover meats from yesterday (pork tails, chunks of beef), took some but couldn’t eat it as the salt content was way too high. Dumped it in the bin, and made egg omelette with fresh parsley, tomatoes and onions; kept it for my dinner, which I ate with whole wheat bread.
Some are still drinking, but a bit quiet now as many will be going out for our fortnightly visit. Many are getting themselves groomed in preparation for the visit. Two of my cellmates got their hair cut and washed clothes to be worn tomorrow.
Enough water today, and the lads are busy distilling, so much to sell, as there’s enough clients to drown in their potent distil. The local inmate masseur came today and gave me a much-needed massage; still helpful with the pain.
Upstairs, bit quiet also, but busy by the signal spot as inmates are rounding up their messages for tomorrow’s visit.
Sat through a short documentary on NeXTV on the two missing Dutch students who has gone missing for over two months now. It was a heartbreaking report as they did a reconstruction of the events that lead to their disappearance. So much has been said about that area of panama; many tourist that has gone missing in that area and never been found is rising and lately a young lad of nine years has gone missing. It baffles me, if nobody is thinking of a pattern in all the disappeared, there could be a serial killer lurking around that area. A chat with #WildBill; an #American who killed several people and buried them, and was arrested with a #Dutch Passport could yield something on and about the pattern the killer(s) operates.
Someone has to walk into the mind of a killer to understand how he/she gets kicks and lurks after victims.
The parents of the girls looked worn-out as they pleads for their safe return. Praying their prayers be answered, but time is running out. The Panamanian government is also pleading and asking the Dutch government to help them. I’m surprise they aren’t asking their biggest partner; The Americans to help, or is it because the missing girls are Dutch nationals?
21:57:43……….soon, weekend will be over!
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold stories inside of you.” – Maya Angelou
“I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.” – Maya Angelou
#PrisonUntoldStories #TheDarkSideOfPrison #PrisonExperience #Lockup #MindsetOfAPrisoner #Gevangenis #Panama #Nederland