Prisoners In Pursuit Of Happiness And The Search For The Ultimate Sexual Experience.
Put water in a pot, it takes the form of the pot, in a kettle, it takes the kettle’s form and in a cup, it takes the form of the cup. One have to possess fluidity, and adaptability to survive incarceration.
Monday, 5 May 2014
A new era in panamá politics and for Panamanians, and most likely for the many men and women incarcerated within the walls of their overcrowded prisons. Last night, with others in the country, we sat through the night watch speculating on who will be at the helm of leadership in this tiny controversial country and steer her to where he so desired.
Every drama always come to an end and so was the drama-filled politics in panama that had candidates throwing scandalous bombs at each other, unearthing secrets dealings upon dealings with all the world’s baddies and money from cartels to fund election campaigns. And even recorded death threats and some made do of their threats after an outspoken lawyer was assassinated in a restaurant. Finally, the underdog #Varela won the election, and it came as meteorite impact on the ruling party, and the person most hit was the president himself @rmartinelli, as he was so confident of his party and anointed candidate, who had the first lady (the president’s wife) as his running mate winning the election. Moreover, there was no room for manipulation, the electoral tribunal didn’t give him the room to set about his plans. Too bad!
My day began like most days, woke up to use the loo around 5am, think I had slept for four hours or a little more, despite the chirrup sounds of crickets that rain has sent off from the woodlands behind the pavilions into our cells. When I came in last night, found about three crickets smashed by the lads. Damn things can be friggin noisy and annoying, but a knackered body will sleep irrespective of noises around, that’s one thing I have conditioned my body to do; sleep under any condition.
Upstairs, signal was ok for a while, but the stench of our drainage underneath was overwhelming, had to move to my friend’s corner, who has a shack built on top of a cell, only goes down to use the toilet. But shower and urinating, he does them upstairs like others living on top of the cells and all the waste flows down, when there’s no water, they all pills down there. Last week, our president was on our PA system warning about someone who has defeated during one of the nights amidst our water crisis and launched his hot bomb down into the passage (we should be expecting more of this frustrating attitude, as does with cells and water won’t share). The passage has become breeding pond for mosquitoes, food bank for rats, and God knows how many bacteria are building down there. Have only went down there twice since my incarceration; first to pick up my fork which a lad threw down while washing our dishes, and to pick up my sim card that fell down, then it was much better as there weren’t too many people like now.
Left the signal spot with my phone set to download some torrents files, dropped it at my friend’s bunk; when I later checked, it was 65% full, should be through by tomorrow’s morning.
Had banana and peanut butter before hitting gym, which was scanty due to persistent water crisis which is yet to end. With my reserves to take me through three days, I was confident of working out. But hope water will be turned on soon or rain, now we need the rainwater, no matter how dirty it is.
Had a good chest workout, careful as my lower back still hurts. Need some strong painkillers to help numb the pains.
Done and back in, the cell was quiet, no water, everyone is banking on their reserves. Hit the shower and washed my gym clothes, showered. Had muesli + peanuts which I had soaked before hitting the gym. Wasn’t bad, filling and satisfying.
The lads later cooked rice; it’s crazy how the black Colombians cook rice, burnt and dry. They set the pot, pour a good amount of vegetable oil, pour a handful of unwashed rice, sort of fry it till it turns brown, and starts burning. Then, they add the washed rice and little water, and cooked it till the rice is burnt to have crunchy rice call ‘arroz concolon’ hope I got the spelling right. At the end one is left with a rice that look half-cooked and dry, if you ain’t got no real teeth, this is not your typical rice 😉
They cooked some today and I got a scoop for myself, later ate it with peanut butter. Like a mate always say ‘rice get cooked in their stomach’ that’s why when they are in toilet, one can’t sit or stay in the cell. Took a power nap after my half-cooked crunchy rice meal. During my nap time, the door was thrown open for the lads to enjoy the weather for an hour. Not many went out as there’s no water to shower after sweating. Some did play football and others were at the back working out on the mokey bars that were welded there by El Abuelo before his extradition to The US!
Slept for a while, had to wake up as smoke was everywhere from the machine used in killing mosquitoes larvae. Didn’t know they will be doing that today. Left for upstairs, fresh air and less people as most are outside on the patio.
20:14:18 upstairs, friggin hot, the lads are acting bit weird, guess the water crisis is playing on our minds, at such moment, tension is always high amongst us. Any wrong words or motives could backfire and lead to unpleasant outcomes. Thus, everyone should stick to himself. And the best way to avoid people; silence and pay no attention to whatever they are doing? And that’s exactly what I’m doing, avoiding every lousy and lazy conversation.
Tuesday, 6 Mei 2014
Up to use the loo, and there ended my sleep, another day for me, to survive and make the best of it. My lower back still hurts as hell, sciatica pain! But won’t stop me from working out today, just gotta be careful with what type of exercises I’m doing.
Made it upstairs with a cup hot tea, it’s like the flies here don’t sleep, they are everywhere in the pavilion, friggin annoying when they land on one’s body. The signal spot upstairs seems to be where they are most. Worse thing could happen there, one can easily drop his phone while trying to drive away the flies. Thus, just let them do what they are doing. Signal ok to round up my last download; Pharell Williams #GIRL full cd 😉
Despite the signal jammers placed around the perimeters of the centre, we still get online, but it takes patience, which is one thing that is not lacking in here and with prisoners. We are used to waiting, even in hurting or maiming others, it all involves being patient enough for the right moment. Once you’ve found a spot with good signal, either you stand there or sit down with your chair or tank of water and do all you want to do. The majorities are into making calls, chatting or searching for women on different social networks. Many had had some luck, but at the end, those women expect much from the lies they had been fed; got busted with tons of coke’ making these ladies believe they are the next Pablo Escobar of the just arrested Guzmán of Mexico. And the women being the lazy types, breeding at home and waiting for a man with bags of money, easily fall to those lies.
One of my cellmate, met one on one of the social networks, she has three kids with three different men, and all the men are in prison. Each one told her what she wants to hear and she fell for them, the lads with little money they are making and beliefs that if they hitch with a Panamanian women, they could get an early release, lured her into having conjugal with them. But further along the line, their stories seems not to be holding up, maybe money ain’t forthcoming as it used to be, she ditches that one and meet another. Heard one her child’s father is a friend of another, after she dumped the first lad, he gave her number to another in another prison and the next one called her, after the first wrangling of ‘where did you get my number’ and the vague answers that comes by, she succumbs to the same lines of stories. Went on with the new affair and ended up with another child. Now the little lad in the cell is dating her, the lad did all sort of businesses, at a time we partnered and sold fried chicken, but selling on credit sent us out of business; perishable goods are always sold on credit as one can’t afford storage or keeping it till next day as in the case fried chicken.
That’s our lives in a nutshell!
Back to my day, hit the gym with passion, had a wonderful shoulder workout. Some of my partners were out, though they came a bit late, but we had a fantastic #HIIT #Hardcore workout. Rounded up with good stretching and abs exercises. Early in and early out.
Still no water, though it came briefly earlier today, enough for about four tanks, which the lads will used up before late afternoon. Still using my reserves, was able to shower and washed my clothes, and saved the water used in rinsing my clothes for toilet use.
Before leaving for gym, had sent two tanks to a mate who has water pump connected to the main prison water supply line. He finally filled the two tanks and sent them to me. That should take care of my water need tomorrow.
Sexual Gratification Among Prisoners;
Seems the hope of having the ultimate sexual experience is becoming endemic in the pavilion and among all prisoners in the centre. Maybe, it’s been locked away for a long time without ‘proper’ or ‘real’ sex that is driving the lads to prepare for ‘the ultimate sexual experience’ when they are finally released. But then, nobody is thinking; not all those that walked in here alive, walked out alive or functioning in their full capacity as a man should do with a woman or with another man. I and they have seen many fallen amongst us and taken out in bodybags cold as death. And they were all dead men!
There’s so much risk around what they are doing, started with few lads convincing those who were about leaving (now gone, and I’m wondering if they’d call to give testimonials of the magic the stones are doing) to get it done, that they will get a good lay on the outside. A man slammed up for years with the real thing, will believe in anything, like he has forgotten how to make love or sex with a woman or with a man if his choice has changed within the years spent in the slammer with companies of other men 😉
Today, a lad who had dominoe turned pearl inserted under the skin of his mojo couple of days, had the dick-artist put a finishing touch to it today. He was in my cell this evening, telling his compatriots of what wonders the pearl in dick can do or have done. Eavesdropped on him telling of a mate who had his done before his release and had called them to tell of his exploits on the streets. Armed with this wonderful news, nothing is stopping from completing his sexual gratification expedition.
Another inmate, an old man in his late fifties and diabetic, had his done and almost died from bleeding. From what I heard, he’s also taking aspirin which we know thins blood, he was left bleeding and Dr. Porter was called to attend to him. He was sent to the clinic the next day and survived the experience. The Dick artist or doctor from Pavilion 8 (one the pavilion’s housing foreign inmates) seems to be enjoying boom in his new-found business. And an old inmate who does all manual jobs to fend for himself is also making money as he’s the one who grinds the dominoes into smooth round stone. With stories coming in of what the stones does, I believe will be jumping on the bandwagon.
During the exploit briefing in my cell, my old cellmate who’s more or less addicted to porn, showed a very keen interest, for months now, he’s been having bouts of serious high blood pressure. Being connected, he’s got access to the clinic more than all of us in the combined, but all medications seems not to be working. But after seeing the stash of porn videos and pictures of naked women in his phone, I’m beginning to have a second thought as what is the cause of his high blood pressure; he might be watching too much porn and that has probably overworked his fragile old heart. In my cell we all know him as porn hoarder, he once had a tablet which gives him a widescreen view of his porn videos. Had to sell it as it was always causing his heart to flip each time we have search. Now he has samsung and also with a bigger screen; more of a phablet! Hope after listening to the exploits of pearl in the mojo he won’t be going for it like others had done blindly.
This stone is the new frenzy among inmates now, like I wrote earlier on, probably being lock away for such a long has made many forgotten what to do with a willing partner, they have to now depend on others are telling them they should and could do when they released (many are still awaiting trials; some been here for years). Meanwhile, been slammed here and with so much time at my disposal, I have been able to read far and wide, couple of days ago, I was flipping through pages of cosmopolitan which my consul brought along with other magazines during her last visit. From my collections of magazines, there others also which are women magazines, actually found quite a handful tips which will much btter than getting stone insert in my mojo. Have also downloaded and read quite a handful of books, sex manuals 😉 and magazines on such matters and some even came with pictures of positions. Once in a while I do share some crazy, but healthy tips with schat, all she say; ‘wait till you get back home’…. time in prison does prepare one for a whole lots of things, some are just bullshit; like honing one’s sexual skills, which many of my mates here are doing. like I always tell my cellmates when things goes wrong in the cell ‘I blame Martinelli for hauling us in here without something to do to keep us busy and functional’……. one can’t blame prisoners for not being changed and transformed to what society will expect of them after years of incarceration. Many will spend those years on the inside, doing absolutely nothing, some will be reliving their lives on the streets right on the inside. Others will try to hide their true nature, but sooner or later , they will be who and what they were meant to be.
As long we remain men, with testosterone still pumping in us, we will always crave for the ultimate sexual experience. Though there are others who are on the other side of the fence, while many are busy juicing with roids, the others are busy wanting to become more beautiful and curvy, they are the ones who kind of sets the hormones in the lads racing whenever they see them outside in their bikinis and colourful attires; these are our ladees!
We have a resident ladee with us, whom the lads have grown tired of seeing her as she has been here for too long, some months ago, we had a younger one hauled in, whom our resident queen wasn’t too keen about as the new one was younger and more curvy, and had gotten some good hands to fix her well; massive DD on her chest and behind her were two slabs of silicon that will get some ladies turned green on seeing her. Our resident queen, wasn’t please as attention left her to our new princess, she finally let if off when they had the clash of tits! She is finally calmed now since our princess was released, but still keep contact with some lads who are willing to share some intimate experience with her upon release. She was a smoking chimney, always puffing on joints upon joints, and that gave her loads of friends which our resident queen doesn’t have as she doesn’t do joints, she does fags and angel dust and drinks like a fish (wondering if fish drinks that much). When she starts, she can get dirty and very willing with her several in-the-closet partners. Sometimes she gets deep into it until the dawn of the new day catches up with her, then she is seen walking from the party to her cell, drunk and half clothed; but always a pants to cover what still makes her a man, but the tits are free for all to see and if you’ve guts at that moment to touch 😉
Sometimes she is so broke, that she goes begging whoever she comes across, sometimes as low as 50cts, then the lads been crazy and horny will want a feel of her tits for the money they will pay. Thus, a feel of those silicon fillings for 50cts. Not a bad deal! Others who wants something more exotic, has had her performed lab dances during their mate’s birthday celebrations. And during all festivals; Christmas and New year’s eve, she gives the pavilion what we don’t have; a thrill of a lady, and a drunken and dope up one! At least someone hits his bunk or hammock smiling.
The ones on the other side of the fence, are the ones that gives the most. Whenever they are let out on patio, the lined up on the side of their fence facing us, begging the lads for money or fags, and some of our lads are also prepared for what they want; money for something. Sometimes the lads demand for flash of some flesh, always the tits as nobody wants to see a third leg. Money are thrown over the fence when the flesh is shown, the clients and seller both satisfied. When they lined up along the fence, it friggin look like the red light district back in Amsterdam; adorned in colourful see-through bikins, hair well done and mascara on their faces, but in daylight, they are ready for work. The view is always a beautiful one and should be documented. Some of the lads go some extra mile, by exchanging phone numbers and BB Pin, so they keep up with proper conversation and more picx for what they do when curtains are drawn. Whatever we do, all amounts to doing time and keeping one busy.
Some took their feelings to the extreme, we once had couple of inmates who were shacking up with each other; it was open-secret affairs, which everyone were aware of. Then their were four active couples who were cohabiting, some were in different cells, but always get together when they have the urge to be together or fill like getting laid. Gradually, one after the other left, leaving their heartbroken lovers wet and dry, with time, like they say, they soon forget each other. Life continues as they sought for new loves in the arms of waiting men, who had for long, longed for a warm cuddle 😉
Well, whatever the outcome of our new frenzy of pearl in the mojo, hope it pays them well. Since this new craze started, it has made one of my cell mate confide his well kept secret to me; want something to grow his mojo. Told him, one secret, he should stop eating the way he does and lose some weight, then his mojo will be proportional to his new body size; small body size and small mojo, but when you are overweight, it’s very obvious that your little weiner will be noticed. The Lad eats every now and then, eats and take a nap, wakes up 30mins later and straight to food. Well, something is driving him to food, stress and a bit frustrated about the system and failed promises. Thus, food and our distil are the only comfort left for him. His boss has promised to help spring him out, but the boss-man has turned his back on him, now he’s on his own; when sentenced, he will end up doing his time. No money to buy his way out, as that is possible at where he was arrested.
Like many others here finding comfort in different things; gambling, booze, daily brawls, chatting and watching porn clips all day and night, he choses food and booze which he does occasionally, whenever I let him have a sip of my brew, if the gallon is not empty, he ain’t sleeping, drunk and vomited twice in the cell. Hope he finds his redemption.
Back to my day, it’s 22:18:09! The whistle just gone off! Back in Europe it’s 7th May! And my little girl’s birthday, conceived before my incarceration and put to bed on this day in 2010; she knows me through my pictures and video chat when signal was good for Skype, since the jammers were installed, we rarely talk. Then used to get daily voicenote from her; tells me all she did in that day. Hope I get home soon.
Someone is either celebrating something or just want to drink, as salsa has been blasting all evening from back of the cells, the radio has just gone soft now since the whistle went off. Some days, someone just want to drink and get drunk, and forget about his problems for a while. But then, wake up to the same problems! What a life!
Ate brown beans this evening, pig tails (they call them rabito) came with the beans, took the beans and passed the tails, but I’m friggin bloated and it’s been gas war all evening. Got me wondering how the all Mexican cell sound like when all noises are dead at night; friggin orchestra of natural wind instruments…….hahahahahaha!
Will take a sachet of Andrews salt to help with the gas 😉
Earlier today, after my workout, was called out along with my compatriots, that we have a consular visit, but it was the volunteer who makes out time to see us. Changed and dropped my tank of water and left with the lads. Today beat them in their games to what the man brought for us; they weren’t happy, but got me a small of peanut butter, whole wheat bread and a little box of cornflakes. The lads weren’t happy as me and the other two got enough and they didn’t take all as they used to do. Did asked him the fate of the two missing Dutch students, from the expression on face and his answer; it doesn’t look good, but then, won’t cease praying for them and that they are found alive, held captive somewhere. He knows panama and latin america very well, so he seems to be a bit negative about them being found alive. May God help those poor innocent girls.
Eventually, when we got in from the visit, the lads took theirs to the market place, aka hawking the few things they had today to those willing to pay cash. They fight for those stuffs to sell them off and feed their insatiable habits. #PrisonLife!
It’s 22:24:40….gotta get in, tomorrow is school!
23:28:34 back in my cell, my High BP porn-addicted cellmate is busy having more and new porn clips bluetooth to his phone, he just love collecting them. Hope his old fragile heart can handle what he’s dealing with.
Played some #CandyCrushSaga before giving in to nature ZzzzzzzzzZzzzzzz!
Wednesday, 7 Mei 2014
Despite gulping a large cup of water, slept through and woke up around 5:30am. My day has just began, might not be working out today if the school roll call comes, as I will up in the school till noon and the gym closes at 1pm. Thus, forced day of rest. Had enough workout yesterday, which should keep me burning all day today.
Went through my morning rituals with ease and in silence as others are still sleeping. One the groceries lads gave me a ginger/lemon/honey tea, dropped it with a bag of green tea, what a wicked combo; the ginger makes it spicy and a hint of honey. Drinking at our signal spot, first to got up here, but signal is very bad. Schat briefly chatted with me, but had to drive as she is picking my birthday girl from nursery. She sent some pictures, but can’t download them. Maybe later on in the morning, signal will be much better. Have to place a call later today and speak with my birthday girl. She will be over the moon to hear from me and she will be full of questions; importantly, ‘Daddy when are you coming home’, that’s one question I always try to avoid. My son once, said, ‘it takes forever for you to return’. Some day they will know the truth, for now, they are kids, it’s better not to spoil their show. But they will grow and want to know in detail, something my eldest daughter is trying to figure out.
Should have marked my girl’s birthday today, by popping open the remaining gallons of my wine, but I’m stint to my skin, as I would’ve to cook for the lads. Well, will keep it to myself as I have done with some many things that has happened during my time here. Somethings are better kept to oneself than shared with those you assumed are friends. It helps with prison survival, secrets well kept is safe!
06:41:26, the rest of the pavilion are gradually rising to the new day, some with hot coffee, sticks of fags or joints in the hands as they made their way to the back of the cells where they can freely smoke.
08:32:40, the rest of the pavilion are joining the early birds, the gym is in full swings as I can hear clanking sound of metals on metals. Waiting for today’s school roll call.
12:19:59, in from school, drizzling outside, but we need more of it as our water crisis continues. School was fine today, though had a copy of the #TheAccidentalBillionaires #TheFoundingOfFacebook with me, which is a good read when the class becomes less interesting. Was actively involved in today’s activies, pity, how I, a non-spanish speaker doing most of the work for the native speakers. The young loacal lads asked me to help out with some of their homework which they failed to do within the two weeks before today’s class. One of the lads pressed me to get the pin of the English teacher, knowing fully well, we entered into a contract with the school authority that any behaviour outside school norm will result in expulsion. Told him off, as there are many on the queue waiting to get into school. Once chucked out, one is gone missing out of a reduced sentence.
Need a new flip flops, as mine is wornout, soaking all the rain water from the puddles along the short distance from the school to our pavilion. Hope my consul will get me two pairs and quality ones.
Glad the rice cooked rice, and today’s wasn’t half-cooked like those of other days. But well cooked, wanted to eat mine with peanut butter, but one of the lads offered to buy me a can of sardine; added my spiced-olive oil and that was my lunch.
The gym was still open when I got in, but bit scanty, seems the water crisis is still keeping people off the gym.
Signal is not at its best, but wouldn’t stop the lads from waiting patiently with hope it will be better. Spent the rest of the evening on the spot, until it was bit ok to send off some tweets and also update my news apps. Some lads were drinking, who knows what they were celebrating, well, one doesn’t need a reason to drink, moods and anything can drive one into drinking.
Hope my little girl had a splendid birthday today, couldn’t speak with her as signal wasn’t good enough to connect calls; and when it was better, it was too late back in Europe. But, schat did sent some beautiful pictures of her, missing her loads. Still praying to be home soon!
Thursday, 8 Mei 2014
Woke up around 6am to find my sneaking-just-out-of-the-closet cellmate setting things up to clean the toilet and bathroom; bit too early, and it wasn’t his turn. He was paid by our pharmacist-cellmate to do the job. Had to wait for him to finish, but then the heavy downpour began, got down to help him as we filled up every container with cold rain water.
We got enough for two days use, hope it will continue as we need water. But then, we might miss out on patio as the door is always under locked during rainfall.
Finally round up and went upstairs to our signal spot, others were up and busy with water, taking good advantage of the free rainwater, many took an early morning shower; that must’ve been friggin freezing.
Finally the cops came around for our weekly headcount, when I finally made my way downstairs, the lads were gone and the cell locked. Had to improvised a stash point for my phone as I can’t take it out.
Outside, did some inverse rows and dips on the monkey bars behind the pavilion. Once the headcount was over, ran in to pick up my phone. Had a banana + a spoonful of peanut butter for breakfast before hitting the gym for #HIIT #Hardcore #Crossfit all-body workouts. Few of my training partners later joined me, when the local who trains with me came, he wasn’t allowed in, had to talk to the cop on duty and our vice president to allo him in. He was finally allowed in, once in, he went to change, and joined me in the gym. I set out a program for him; all we had done earlier. He went through all with ease. Since the lad started training with my groups, he has seen gains and experienced lot of changes; growing stronger, learned proper form and understands his body, unlike most of the lads here who aren’t ready to learn.
Seems today will be my last workout for the week as my lower back still hurts. Definitely need to get some proper rest; our concrete bed is gradually causing all the ills to our body.
Some of the lads are having an early weekend, there’s always a reason to celebrate or rather to drink and be happy.
From intels within and amongst us, many are jumping on the pearl-in-mojo frenzy, friggin wondering when they will get to try their new toy? Just can’t understand why the haste to procure something that you won’t be using in a long while; but then, who knows what goes on under the cover of darkness when we all pretend to sleep.
Decided to hit my bed earlier as I planned waking early to get online. Boiled water for my hot water bottle, which I used for my lower back; relieving!
Friday, 9 Mei 2014
Woke up earlier than usual, up around 4am, use the loo and made me a cuppa green/ginger tea, which I took upstairs to the signal spot. It’s baby season for the cats, one has four kittens behind the cells and another got four kittens upstairs, hope the lads don’t throw them out now as it’s cold and wet outside.
Upstairs, was alone until the rest of the pavilion began their waking up for the day and weekend. Signal was so poor, had to go back to my cell and hit my bed for another 3hrs of quality sleep. Finally got up around 10am and had a breakfast of oatmeal.
Two of my training partners came looking for me, told them, I’m off today and my weekend begins today. They took what they need from my workout gear box and left. Hope they were able to make a program for themselves.
Since I wasn’t in the gym, decided to stay out of that area; one reason, to avoid sarcasm and the other, I’ve got better things to keep me busy and occupy.
Spent part of the day, upstairs at my mate’s place and searching for signal, and away from the heat in my cell. My mates are working everyday to round up with all the mashes before the next search; thus, the distilling adds to the heat in the cell.
Around 7pm, about six inmates were hauled in to joined us in our uncertainties; in a journey that has beginning but the end is uncertain. Most were Los Mexicanos, thus, they had a good reception. We didn’t hear them come in as it was late and there wasn’t any heckling and catcalls or warm welcome embrace from our resident queen; our own shemale, it’s been a tradition to send out to the newbies for a proper welcome with a warm embrace and a reminder of where they just found themselves. In the past, some had broke down in tears as they feared for their lives and of what will be done to their manly behinds 😉 , that’s just the fun part of having our queen with us, the faces of the newbies are always fun to watch, bewildered expressions on their faces upon seeing our queen and the moves she makes on them.
These new Mexicans are in good hands, as their compatriots provided them with phones to make calls and chat with their families back home, prepared warm meals for them and took them through the night with live music; all night they were drinking and drinking till daybreak. What more can one make expect, doubt if the lads thought of prison like what they experienced on their first night slammed up; new hammocks made for them, warm meal, drinks that never stop flowing and live rancheras music with a guitarist. Bet prisoners elsewhere will turn green if they hear of how we receive new inmates; proper royal reception. Elsewhere, and probably among the locals, on one’s face day, you are either fleeced off your meagre belongings or you’re ganged rape and made a shagging object, which might continue till the day you decide to end it or they decide to end you, so as to kill the truth of what goes on behind the walls of prisons.
Saturday, 10 Mei 2014
Woke up checking if I’m in one piece, in pains on every turn I tried making throughout the night. Used extra paddings to get a good sleep. Went to what has become my daily rituals; popped in my blood pressure pill (direutic), the other; Amlodipine is finished, thus, gotta do with just the direutic, pot of water for tea, used the loo and brushed my teeth. Armed with my phone and a novel to keep me busy as it will be a long morning; general cleaning in my cell, involves taking out everything and washing the whole floor of the cell.
Signal was good enough to initiate chat with schat and sent some of my saved tweets, and also updated my news apps. Was later called to remove my stuffs cleaning was about to begin. Downstairs, got my stuffs out as the lad worked alone, he’s not in the good books with the other lads in the cell, fallen out with his partner after blames on who should take responsibility for their case. Good a thing, he sleeps in his little shack upstairs above our cell, sort keep him at an arm’s length from the rest of us.
Prison is such a place, where one is forced to live with people he will easily slit their throats at any slightest bit of opportunity ;-), but then, like a bitter pill, you shut your senses and swallow it. And that’s how we survive the odds of life on the inside.
Stayed up till the cleaning was done, then went for my breakfast of oatmeal and dried prunes given to me yesterday by a mate who wouldn’t know what to do with them. Who knows where they got them from, there seems to be loads of them in the pavilion, some are trying to flock a pack for $3.50, since many don’t know what it is, they are scare of buying.
Adding one and one together, we are beginning to think where they might have come from. A senator who was in charge of the government’s cheap food programe in a municipal (chepo) in close proximity to the prison, lost his seat to an opposition candidate; the gutted senator decided to dump all the food products, so that nobody in his former constituency will benefit from the cheap priced foods. What a wicked man he is, on television we have been seeing re-runs of same and new clips of people scavenging the landfills for foods that he threw away; canned foods, rice, dairy products, cereals, legumes, vegetables and even meats and fishes. What a friggin wanker he is! Who knows maybe the prunes were picked from the landfill and hauled into the centre for inmates to buy. Wherever they come from, it was nice with my oatmeal and nutritious 😉
Another hot intel that got in yesterday, sweeping amongst us; the president elect has sent cleaning materials to the prisons for all inmates, but it seems the cops has diverted them, to sell and profit from what was meant for us. That’s the bustling and hustling within our world. We try to out-hustled each other, even the cops aren’t left out in this war of survival of the meanest!
The door was thrown open for patio, enough water today as the lad gave us enough. Thus, many were out for baseball or softball as they called it here and others used the smaller court for four aside football. Used the time to washed my clothes, don’t like having dirty clothes around, the cell was a bit empty until one of the lads came in to set up his distilling equipment. Another batch coming off before any surprise visit from the cops.
A walk through the crowded passage is always a tedious work, bumping into inmates standing, seated, or gambling inmates who has set up their green table to burn away time the only way that makes them happy, but then, too stiff to move their bodies. At every time I’m walking, I’m always signalling my slogan, which many have come to know ‘ Agua Caliente’ (Hot Water), that alone sends them off my path. It can be friggin annoying when someone forgets himself and lost in whatever he’s doing, and knowing very well where he is. The worst ones are those with phones, head deep into whatever they are doing, a slight touch can easily knock the phone down, then comes the blaming!
Made my way upstairs as the cell was becoming crowded. Signal is so bad!
12:58:36, started raining, the season has finally come. Good for us but bad for those in many parts of the country as poor drainage system will get them flooded. There will be enough water in the pavilion for everyone.
Took a power nap and felt revived, the rain is helping with the weather as the heat in the cell is giving way to cooler recycled air, since we re virtually shut off without much ventilation.
20:51:55 it’s weekend proper, and music from different corners of the pavilion as the lads gets in the weekend groove. Meanwhile, the gamblers ain’t left out in the weekend bash, dices rolling and cards are shuffled while loses and winnings are counted. Others are preoccupied with food and eating their time away. The tubes adictos ain’t left out, while some of us are doing our times by being busy, there are those who will seat through their time in front of their televisions, from novelas (soaps), rented films; mostly porn and current movies. It’s another weekend before our fortnightly visit, when fresh foods and whatever can be smuggled in from the outside will find their way into our midst.
Lunch/dinner was the hard boiled eggs that came on the breakfast cart with lentils that came for lunch. Though chunks of meatlike stuffs came with lunch, had the lads eat mine while I made do with 5 boiled eggs. Wasn’t bad, added some spice as the lentils was bland and tasteless.
I’m wondering what the newbies will think of their new home, walking around and seeing the mix feelings of the pavilion; some are celebrating, while others are curled up lost in their wandering thoughts, which comes when bad and terrible news come from the outside. I have seen pictures of friends of inmates shot and wasted, funerals held for friends, and some hanging on to life. So much for our fragile hearts.
All through the night, the lads upstairs were loud with their music and drunken noises. It’s always same group, bad for most who were trying to get their nightly sleep, but good business for my distilling-cellmates, as they almost sold out. As of 2am, orders were still coming in.
Sunday, 11 Mei 2014
Up around 6:30am, and the music was still on where the party at. Crazy thing or a fact that I have learned about the latinos; once they start drinking, they do it for days until the tap is dried, then they call it quit. With the noises accompanied their binged-drinking sessions comes our fear of cops storming on us. Thus, we are on full alert, our sentinels are out and sentries are watchful for any suspicious movement. Hope they don’t come, but then, we can’t do nothing if they decide to come.
Up and the rest of the lads joined me one after the other, went through my daily rituals and took my tea with me upstairs, where signal was on and off. There were others in my spot as I came a bit late today, but the old lad gave me my spot as another told him, that’s my spot 😉
Schat has been experiencing with baking, all the birthdays, she has been the one baking the cake; thus, saving loads of money and the kids are just so happy to be part of the baking experience. She sent pictures of her beautiful sweet-tempting creations, which will be used in church today for my little girl’s fourth birthday. Can’t for that moment I will lift her and feel her breathe, she is now asking; ‘when is daddy coming home’, little does she know that daddy was once a naughty daddy 😉
Whenever I have her phone, then, I realised how time flies, how she has grown so fast and learning so much as she grows. So much happens if only there’s time, even in prison; with time everything is possible.
But this time around in the pavilion is fiestas; #Mothersday is just another friggin time to get soaked and act stupidly, which is what some of the lads has been doing since yesterday’s night. The signal spot is congested as many are trying to place calls to their mothers, wives, baby mothers and their many sidekicks. Well, with nothing to do, today is just an extension or rather a better reason to do what they do most and all the time; calling!
Hope las fiestas won’t turn sour when they’ve got too little too much of our lethal liquors and lines after lines of angels dust or much puffing from jumbo sized joints. For the time being, there’s peace, only music and men having drunken arguments over lousy talks. Well, it’s the substances in them that’s working. By tomorrow, those going out for the less than an hour visit will be sober enough to clean up and walk out. Some will continue with what they are doing now, others will be sleeping out their hangovers; which always come with its demons. I have seen inmate during their hangovers thought they were actually dying, but they lived through and still went back to what put them in that state over and over again.
19:57:05 the heat is on in the pavilion, some had just had too much of our brew, can see it from their dance steps which is being controlled by the quantities of liquor in their systems 😉
What more should one expect from men who has nothing to live for, products of the system.
Heard that an inmate who was released and deported back to Colombia is back again in panama and is on the streets; this was his second time in the Joint, probably he’s walking and working to make his third coming. #RepeatedOffender!
21:18:16 Just sold a litre of my wine for $10 to a Bulgarian old lad who appreciate good wine; prison wine of course 😉 he complimented me, that it taste like his father’s wine back home. The old lad doesn’t drink like most here, but after someone told him about my wine, he came looking for me.
The music is going low now as most of the revellers are either tired or getting weary of doing the same thing over and over again. Now I know why some prisoners really go berserk and crossed the line; life behind bars can be very monotonous, annoying and depressing. Some can’t handle it and don’t know what to do to break the monotonousy of prison life. Once you discover hot to do time, prison won’t do you, you will end up doing time and coming out stronger and fierce.
The lads opposite me, has got an acapellalike music on; everyone in their drunken state seems to be singing along like a gospel choir high in the spirit, but these ones high in a different type of spirit, our distilled spirits, lethal and potent. They are actually singing very nice; #Vallenato. Seems alcohol brings out the potentialities in them, then they should be doing more of it. #JustSaying
Should be hitting my bunk as I will be waking up to hit this signal spot again, gotta get this publish in the morning. And can’t wait to get back to my workouts, still in pains, but will be keeping my workouts to the basic and less strain on my back. Will combine some sets of pull-ups and benchpress and more of bodyweight exercises and lots of stretching to improve my mobility.
It’s been a beautiful week and a weekend rich in our diversities of culture and madness. One thing about us and doing time; we all have our ways of doing time and surviving each day as it comes with its many oddities.
One of such ways is the new trend to achieve the ultimate sexual experience amongst us. Since it started, many are gradually jumping on the bandwagon, the young and able, the old and feeble, and even those who had never had proper sex before in their entire lives ;-), meanwhile, my cellmate who really wants to grow his mojo reminds me daily to get something from Europe to help him get his lil weiner an extra size; too bad we don’t have communal shower like most prisons, then he would’ve seen that he’s not alone 😉
Anyway, have taken this to Monday morning: Monday12 mei 2014 and 07:14:41! Till date, no news of the two missing Dutch students who disappeared on the first of April. Still praying that they are found alive and in good health. But then this is Panama, and this is Latin America where life means nothing; people are killed at any slightest upset. Life like every other thing has no value in a culture embedded in violence #LaViolencia of Colombia, #DrugWar of Mexico, #GangsWar of El Salvador and the list justy go on and on! It’s a cowboy country!
Prison; supposedly a place where order and rules mattered, work hard to earn one’s redemption. But from my experience, everything about prison is contrary to what it was meant to be; chaotic, breeding and grooming ground for the novice to become what they set out to be, a hub of networks for gangs and leaders in the underworld, truces are made and alliances forged for a better end, to serve their purposes. A place, where men bulk up from leading and living a sedentary lifestyle, eat, sleep and do same all over again. A place where ‘Doing Time’ is actually ‘Time Out’ for studies, learn from mistakes that got one in this sh!t in the first place, reinforcement, networking and forge new alliances and sometimes set record and old scores straight, even right from the inside, where many thing they are invisible and invincible! Not bad for a life thought to have been condemned.