The darker the night, the brighter the stars.

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!”
– Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Crime and Punishment)

FRI, AUG 16, 2013 
Fortunately, I had signal during the early hours of the morning; was good for a while around 4am in the morning and that was when my grocer-cellmate woke up to hustle for his own signal and also boil his drinking water. Talking of our drinking water; those with money prefer buying bottled mineral water, while the rest of us drink from the tap whenever it comes, but I always heat mine up to kill the unwanted; which shares the water with us.

My training partner who was released couple of weeks ago had to spend three days in hospital to be treated for parasites/bacterial infections he picked up from drinking the prison’s water.

On my way down from my signal spot; met our gamblers deep into their game as they didn’t took note of the loner walking through the dark passage. It’s amazing how these lads stay up all night to gamble; well, when there’s nothing to do, what will one expect of them? Guess, nothing.

Forced myself to catch a short sleep as I needed it, half-asleep as the lads kept me up with their early morning lousy talks.

Breakfast was what I’m now used to; oatmeal and peanut, then hit the gym, which was almost empty as many weren’t with that mustard-see kind of faith to come out believing there will be water. Those with faith, sometimes prison faith can be a stupid one (seeing an inmate with knife, one gotta do something other than thinking he won’t use it) #Experience!

Having new lads who wants to train with me; guess they’re seeing results, many just wanna get to the gym to continue with their lousy talks they didn’t finish the previous night 🙂

We had intensive #Chest #HIIT workout and I added abs (Hanging leg raise), push-ups, pull-ups. Wasn’t long before we rounded up, that the heavens opened its water reserved and rained down on us; enough water for today. Patio was out of bound; when it rains, no one is allowed outside and movement is restricted in the centre #EscapeThings!

Seems the meeting with the director and the kitchen staffs did not have any effect on our food as the food still come as it used to be. I hope someday in the future, someone will make the change, for now, we’ll keep eating the basuras as they come.

Hope it will rain more later this evening or at night and all through weekend, we need it and more of it. The lads fetched from the pond outside for use in the toilet.

Our #BurgerKing guy is busy with making the best la Joya burger; many had placed their orders earlier in the week. A piece if $3, told him, I will only buy if he can make me triple whooper …..loooooool:-) don’t see myself eating his burger, friggin looks unhealthy, the lads gets the cheapest burgers (with fillers, fats and meagre or no meat), but many will be so happy to dine on it.

19:22:02 on FRI, AUG 16, 2013!

In my bed, feeling bit sleepy…. Result of my nocturnal lifestyle.

Monday will be our fortnightly visit, but this time, it’s a family affair; thus, children are allowed to tag along with adults for the visit. Those with kids and family around will have the pleasure of their warmth embrace during the one hour visit.

Many will get themselves ready for Monday; grooming themselves to look their best. Every family visit is like Christmas to those with loved ones around and who will come to visit, as I have seen some locals whose families had turned their backs on them, all because the lads just love getting into prison. They can’t just friggin pretend to lead a normal life upon released, always ended up coming back.

02:31:14! SAT, AUG 17, 2013! Left my signal spot as it’s worthless sitting up all night without signal, the casino royale are busy with new members at the end of a dark corner in passage, now I know this is one demon that these lads has got to battle with, many amongst them will borrow to keep their game up. Thus, building up debts that will eventually get harder to pay with time, and at the end leads to what we all know; #Fight!

I didn’t get to nap in the afternoon, feeling sleepy…. gotta answer nature’s calling.. Sleeeeeeeep!

08:24:29 SAT, AUG 17, 2013!

There hasn’t been water since Thursday, we are surviving on the occasionally rain water; the one of yesterday has finished, how we will survive the weekend if it doesn’t rain is a hard bone to chew. Our prayers is that it rains as much as it can be.

Still on my bed as I’m taking today and Sunday off from working out.

Didn’t get internet access all of yesterday, it’s becoming very hard to get online, for now, we’ve got to live with what each day doles out to us.

Breakfast was our normal bread buns and sugar-choco drink, pass that and made me oats with peanut, not bad when one just woke with worms starts calling for their share of nutrients. Sunny and blazing outside, doubt if there will be any rain today, if it happen it’ll be a miracle.

Many are using the opportunity to play some outdoor sports; volleyball, softball and football. The cops seems to be co-operative, but for how long will they do this, maybe until one stupid inmate will try to escape, then we lose everything. Others are sitting outside savouring the sun and engaging in prison talks; most are idle-gossiping men engaging in lazy, lousy backbite-talk like sissies!

On my bunk, want to do some reading, but a cellmate won’t let me as he wants me to pass him some of my songs; stayed up all night to download my collections when we had uninterrupted signal; helped me as I have collections of latest albums, ebooks and magazines ;-), sharing it for free doesn’t make me feel comfortable as they won’t share theirs and I rarely ask. Wankers!

16:27:21 ….. Seems water will become history today, gotta watch out for what I will eat; having a bad stomach at such a time like this will be terrible as there won’t be water to use in the toilet. The pond outside dried up as we’ve all fetched water from it.

Waooooooooh!(16:36:08) The pump is running now, seems heaven heard our cries for water, pray it runs for a while so we can fill enough containers to take us through weekend. 18:42:15…. Surprise as the water is still running, but on a snail-speed and it’s water from La Joyita (we had our pipes linked to the ones supplying water to them).. Some types of nicking are legal..  for the benefit of everyone. When we had pipes bought and laid through the local’s pavilion to get water from same source, they vandalised everything and demanded money from us. Well….. Glad we had enough and most inmates got what should be enough for tonight. Tomorrow will take care of itself, we live for each day; #CarpeDiem

21:19:25 …. Up at my signal reception post, seems tonight will be futile like yesterday, only those with routers hanging high above the ceiling are getting signal. Will try one more night and see what will come of my patiently-waiting like my cats.

Another coral snake was killed in the gym hall, the lad saw it moving on his mattress, freaked the night out of him. The snake was killed; seems the rain is bringing them from the bushes around the centre to the pavilion where it’s warm and loads of warm blood. We’re in for mucho sorpresa!

“Victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats.” – Og Mandino

Living in such a small community like ours, has turned many into minders; looking into other people’s affairs, not to watch over them but watching with green-eyes. They tend to forget their own crosses and the journey they have to make. Maybe it helps them with doing their time. The lite brawl I had with the lad in my cell has become the trending subject on their lips. Couldn’t fight with the lad; just too close for comfort. But being very young, inexperienced and above all Stupid; the lad thought he could fight me. He hung on my leg trying to lift me up; friggin look like a chihuahua humping a Rottweiler ;-).

Couldn’t see myself hitting or punching this lad who has grown to become like a kid brother after we have spent 3yrs together in one cell. Later told him, we’ve drank from the same cup of damnation, when he had no bed, he had his hammock above my bed and we shared so much together. After that brief thought, scarring him would hurt me as much as he does to him.

In the heat of the moment, I remembered this beautiful quote on temperance;

“Being a warrior is not just striking your opponents with the sword, but finding good reason to pull out the sword at the first place.”

I let my anger weaned off and told him to. give me some arm’s length distance; but he’s like a dog who doesn’t know when his master need to be left alone. I think, the incident has drawn a line between us for now. And the end, there was no good reason to strike him, despite his mouth that doesn’t shut 😉

12:11:39 on SUN, AUG 18, 2013!
Enough water to do my washing, many got dirty clothes piled up from days without water. Had my clothes washed, but bad weather outside. The pavilion is alive with our Sunday’s activities; church services by the two main denominations, later on the gamblers and gamers took over the hall.

Had a power nap all evening, woke up late at night, couldn’t get up to my signal spot as I needed the night to read and write.

As others went early to bed awaiting tomorrow’s family visit; time to spend with their loved ones. Others were busy drinking and gambling the night away; what started as friendly affair turned into drunken brawl on the early hours of Monday. Two mates who met each other here before being released, hooked up on the streets for some monkey business, things went pretty sour when they were busted and brought in here again. Now both are fighting for who should take responsibility for the crime; what a friendship! Can’t help but laugh at their folly.
Well, they aren’t the first nor will they be the last in such a dilemma; seen many took to brutal means to get their co-accused take responsibility for crimes both are accused of committing. Most will owned up to what they are accused of others will stick to their denials, others will become turncoat, rats, or snitches as the Americans call them. Whatever their lot; it is theirs to bear, we all have our different music to dance to.

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker

MON, AUG 19, 2013
Our fortnightly visit; but today’s is different as it’s a family visit, heard it’s once in four months. The only time children (only two) are allowed in with adults to see their incarcerated loved ones.

Still water crisis in the centre and it hasn’t rained today. The gym was almost empty apart from baggages and mattresses of inmates who sleeps on the half of the gym’s floor. Had a #Squats and biceps, but didn’t have the zeal, pulled myself through most of my sets, went outside to run and savoured the warmth sun; that was much refreshing.

The lads back in from visit with smiling faces, some wore worn-out faces as it’s still a nightmare they which they won’t wake up from; being slammed in the belly of the beast. So much food in the pavilion, but always careful, no water when diarrhoea strikes, thus, I’m careful with what I’m offer and what I will eat.

#BreakingNews; just came up on the news, an inmate died in La Joya (our centre) of #Tuberculosis. Nothing shakes a healthy man, than when you know the real killer is invisible and around the corner. With our overcrowded pavilions, and breathing from each other’s breathe, one has no where to run to from this invincible and invisible killer. And no many here knows how to cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze; we’re in for an endemic!

“Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.” – Marcel Proust, (In Search of Lost Time)

Another Old inmate; different from others as he is a fitness addict, collapsed and was taken out. He was referred by the doctors at the clinic to the hospital in the city. But the cops brought him back, citing their usual code “NO TRANSPORT”, The man was lucky as the cops on duty pitied his condition and took him away. He has been admitted since last week Friday and still there; clearly shows how serious his condition was. Before an inmate is taken out, he must have a near-death experience; can be knife plunging in his organs or sick to the point of death. Then will the cops do something!

From sources close to the family of the dead inmate, they had informed the authorities about the conditions of their sick son or husband, but like others, he was ignored and left to died; of what use is he to the society? Doubt if any…. And who knows what his crime was? Could have been homicide, robbery or simply a suspect like many languishing and waiting for a never-ending investigation, when not found guilty, will be released without compensation for those wasted years; this is jungle justice!

20:00:36! So much to eat today, but mostly unhealthy choices as these lads just love fried food; everything is better fried. Had what I found healthy and full for the day. We eat and live each day for a time and as it comes.

La Joya has just been cut off from the electricity grid; the prison has been thrown into total darkness. Who knows what’s happening. When it happens like this, the cops get panicked as they patrol the perimeter more often. Nobody knows how long this blackout will last, if it remain this way all night, might as well sleep upstairs all night, sleeping in my congested cell will be like baking myself in an oven.

So much goes on in our world; The belly of the beast! Not a days goes by without a major incident happening; but so much happens and they are never reported. The sleepers operate in secrecy and their deeds are seen when it happens. The belly of the beast is well alive with the break of each new day with its hustling and hassling;  #SurvivalOfTheFittest

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” – Kenji Miyazawa

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker

#Crimewatch #CrimeAndPunishment #Panama #Nederland #Justice #Justitie #Tuberculosis #Aids #HIV #Lockup #Gevangenis #Drugs #Crime #CriminalJustice


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