Archive for May, 2010


Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2010 by doingtimeabroad

*WEEK 20*

Monday, 17th of May 2010.

Doors remained locked after breakfast was served, wondering what will happen next. There were no catcalls as the weekend came and went without any incident and the centre was blissful as there were loads of dopes, Pots and Moonshine for everyone who cared to indulge. I guess many were sleeping thinking things are normal, no catcalls and noise from any cell.

Then around 9ish, all the Wardens and couple of cops came in with cuffs, matched to specific cells on order, we had our phones hidden as no one knows what will happen next. We saw most of the guys walking out with their little and accumulated possessions, Cara Pony (our computer wiz kid who was making fake conjugal documents and other permits forging the Director´s signature), our Smallish Italian God Father, a Colombian who had bought his way through the hierachy of the Panama system, Flaco (who is also call “Anyway”; his Artist name). In total 5 inmates were taken from Galeria and 10 from Anexo. All to be sent to the maximum jail, there they will continue with their time. The ones from Anexo comprises of 2 Spaniards (one who tried escaping on broad daylight by jumping over the fence, but got his ankle broken and another one who is a dope head and Panamanians.

The Director has shown it again, that he may forgives, but doesn´t forget, and that he is ready to rid this place of any bad eggs, and most importantly he doesn´t want anybody to jeopardise his job and source of income.

Our Italian God father, whom Manni knew him right from transitory jail, used to be very quiet and humble, the hops around with clutches, but since he got much better on getting here, carved out a niche for himself among the boys. He brags a lot and he was actually on the run from the Italian judiciary system as he is wanted for another crime over there. I guess since his sentence, he has been bragging of escaping, not knowing that the Director has ears everywhere, they snitched on him and there goes the weasel. The Director Wouldn´t wait for the escape, so had him move. The Colombian, who is quiet and talk less, always seen with blackberry and the custodios are always seen in his cell, guess for money he spends on them. Had also gotten permission from the director to build a nice tent outside, also built a nice barbeque grill beside his tent, he paid quite a lot to get here as he was in confinement back in La Joyita, but here he found where he could flex his muscle and money. Guess the director didn´t want to wait and see what next he will do as the guy who escapes last from here was a big spender. Who bought his way through by spending, even bought air conditioner for some of the offices and always arranges for lunch to be brought to the staffs. When he finally got a job by the green area, he made his go and that was it. So they feel the Colombian may likely do same, better we get rid of him now before we start sending search teams all over Panama to look for him when he finally escape.

I guess the Bossman is scare that Tony our Colombian guy may end up like that, so he had him sent away. Well, I still have my list of people I will want him to send away, I guess with time they will fall in place.

When the doors were finally opened, went to the library, had to read as both PC´s were occupied with Gamers and a guy who believes he knows God was writing his life story, but always walks around with knife in his pants. I wonder what God will think of him or what he thinks God will do as He knows he walks around with his Bible in his hand and a knife in his pants. Good luck to him and good for him.

Tried to do some reading, but the noise from the Music studio was just too much as I couldn´t concentrate, I wondered who designed this place, placing a music studio next to the library. And the dump head workers in the library also post a NO NOISE sticker in the library when we have noise blasting from the studio at a deafening rate.

No food tonight, but glad as we had a good rice from AliPrac, if all the rice were prepared this way, I wouldn´t mind eating them. Made it up with coconut powder and it was nice as we all dinned and had my green tea, thanks to Jessie.

Spoke with Schat as she had been calling, but since my phone was switched off all day as I was in the library, she was dead worried. Nice to hear her voice and knowing that she and the kids are doing well.

Stayed up all night reading and hoping for the better……….

Tuesday, 18th of May…………

Up several times to wee as I drank loads of water and tea last night. Billy finally dropped my BF on the table, gotta approached him on this, as the table ain´t mijne once we are sleeping, roaches scrambled on any crumps of whatever is left on the table. I hope I don´t get sick. If I had my brown bread, guess wouldn´t be eating this prison bread. Most of us who are health concious may not like the prison bread, but the boys who make moonshine will gladly have them, most to keep and ferment it, since yeast of one of the ingredients in the bread, fermenting it along with sugar, these dudes comes up with some potent shyte that will knock some french wines off the shelves of some supermarket.

Showered and had my BF, then went to the library, my Christian buddy is busy with his book. And the gamers on the other PC, did some reading and brainstorming. When I came out, met Tito who told me he is making soup, ordered two, one for me and the other for Jer; lately Jer hadn´t been going to school, guess nothing to cook and sell, so he is being sleeping all day and moreover since he has been told he will be going home this Month. He´s been counting the days, and several calls to the Brits Consulate has yielded anything positive as to when he will leave. I hope that the change in Government in UK does not affect his going back home.

Being here for too long and not getting his brain actively working has really made him laid back, always smoking pot with his buddies from Pabellon, our cell is well known as the coffee shop in this centre. Manni and I planned to put a stop to that once he is gone.

Got my soup, but didn´t drink it since Manni needed me as an extra in his film, went out and stayed with them all day. Had the experience of sitting among the girls from Femenino, could be very uncomfortable as their major preoccupation is nothing but sex and bad they had to be coming here all day for filming, seeing all the guys sweating either jogging, playing football or Basketball, guess they are turn on. Took some magazines and books to read, had a good lunch, which comes from one of the many sponsors helping with the film project. The girl I had to sit with on the set was from Mexico who has done 9 Months and still on process. All they talk about is sex and wanting it. No wonder Manni feels so uncomfortable being around them. Guess they are starved of it and wants it badly.

The police who accompanied them today was a piece of thorn as she was all about on them and on us, later heard it was her first time accompanying the girls out. So she tried to play the Boss, well it all ended and back to my cell.

Things are coming clear about the transfer and what is happening in the centre, there are so many snitches here, just like Robbie said, one has to keep his secret to himself, that is if you even have any secret at all. As one can barely trust the next man standing sometimes even ones cellmate, as we have seen many moving from their cells to new ones once they are not in good terms with their mates. That could be very fatal, once you have issues with your cellmate, trust is gone for good, and the best option or alternative is looking for another cell, as there had many incidents of mates stabbing each other while one is sleeping.  

The Panamanians as I have come to learn of them are chickens; the main players in this region are the Colombianos and the Mexicanos. According to Jer, majority of the Panamanians snitches on each other hoping they will get favour from the Director or cops or even the Custodios. I guess majority of them haven´t realise that these guys are paid by the Government to keep them here and make sure they don´t get back into the society.

I now understand why my warden buddy who got us our phone, really warned me about others knowing that he was the one who brought in the phone.

The famine or food scarcity is still on, we can´t wait for weekend when people will flood in with food and groceries. Right now, prices of anything available has gone up drastically.

One of the guys that sells Moonshine and rum approaches Manni if he will buy some off him, guess Manni told him no, he also sneaked beside my bed to ask me. Well told him, right now we need food, it won´t be a good idea to drink Rum on an empty stomach. Too bad as he got his drink in at the wrong season, our Italian godfather used to be a good spender. Now that he is gone, I guess sales will drop badly here. Hear from Fabio that he was taken to Pabellon 8 in La Joya; one of the recently build Pabellon in La Joya, fitted with CCTV cameras, he complained bitterly about there as the water is only turned on twice daily. Hope he calms himself in his new domain, well despite the ill reputation, things seems to run well there as there is more corruption in the big and maximum jails than this place. More good and proper liquor, proper cigarette, unlike the Chinese Malboro I see them smoke here (actually made in China as everything on the pack in written in China). And they even have more Laptops than we do, not that they are studying as most of the guys here claims to do. Over there, they have got big Colombianos and other Latin American drugs Czars doing their time or just chilling out for to things to cool down, then they will be out. Just like one of my Buddies here who paid loads to get here and have spent close to 70Grand or more to get out, but had to chill out till things get cool, then he will be let off by his super contacts in high places.

Back here, life and struggles continue alongside each other as we battle to stay together and keep the peace.

We survive through the night with sausages which Manni made with soya sauce; thank God we have some avocado, which was good with the rice.

Spent the night reading and chatting, Jer been a bit withdrawn as he really wants to leave. Hope the Brit gets him out of here as he is really looking up to it.

Another well spent day and hope life continues smoothly without incident, my only fear now, is now that John the Colombian big paymaster is gone, the guards will be more on us to meet up with their weekly turnover. That is life in the Jungle.

Wednesday, 19th of May 2010.

Up as Billy came with my BF, wanted to workout today, but gotta work on the library as early as I can before my Christian writer friend will get hold of the pc. Luckily made it to the library after a cuppa, spent most of today on the pc writing and editing some of my work. Back in cell, had my BF of Bread and Avocado with another cuppa. Saved my lunch of chicken for dinner as we don´t know what the night will bring along.

While in the library, Manni brought the key to the cell, well, knowing that Jer was sleeping, asked after him, but said, Jer wanted to be locked in while he sleeps, guess things are a bit tough with him, when you know your time is due and you need to leave, guess one starts counting the days. I do want him to go, even if he was Panamanian, he has done  more than half of his time and more than two third of his time, which entitles him for release, coupled with good behaviour. How I wish the Brits knows the true nature of this place, they won´t let him stay here that long.

Manni was out all day with his crew, guess they are putting a finishing touch to the film, hope this project will win the heart of the judge that will sit on his hearing and gives him a reduced sentence.

Did some workout in the cell with the bar in the cell, can be good for the shoulders and ABS. Business goes on as usual in the centre, more guys are making moonshine, guess we ain´t buying as we ain´t got Benjamins.

While working out, heard the water will be turn off, guess the guards are tired of pushing grown up men to shower every evening. Patio is supposed to be lock by 4pm and the cells by 6pm. But some days by 7pm most guys are still running around trying to get their last dope or grass for the night. The worst are those that stay up playing dominoes when they know fully well, it´s lock up time.

The shower stopped running, but we had water in the cell, filled up the containers and empty soda bottles. Had one of the tanks out for my shower, the water later came up in the evening.

Manni was able to get some eggs but more expensive than what we usually pay for eggs. Together with sausages gotten from the Prison food and rice, we made something edible for the night. Another survival, Jer wouldn´t eat, guess he had something from his buddies outside.

Loads of changes have been made to how things will be run here in the centre, and same goes with other prisons in Panama. The new Director of Prisons in panama; a one time chief of security during the Noriega regime who replaced Kaa who was probably the best man for the job. Is making so many changes, over here, there won´t be any special visits and no change of visit from the normal weekend to weekdays. But when Fabio talked the Director, he said, we foreigners will be allowed special visit if we do ask. Guess I won´t need that for a long time.

Over in La Joya and La Joyita, two of the most notorious jails in Panama, there has been shows of resent to the new rules, over there, inmates were allowed just two visit each Months. Families and loved ones had to wait from 7am for full search before getting in by 1pm for a 30 Minutes visit. There was unrest as most of the inmates took to the roof and refused lockup since Tuesday evening. According to the new rule, they will be allowed just one visit per Month, that is atrocious and I wonder what the new Director was thinking when he was making this new rules. Well I wouldn´t blame how things are done there, when I was there, I heard of how Mothers, Spouses and friends smuggled drugs for their sons, husbands and friends to sell.

Trading on those things inside here is very lucrative, many fight and died just to stay on top of the trade and control the market; Monopoly!! Guess the real economics of business is also applicable over here as in the real world.

Money is suppose to be coming from the outside into prisons to help the inmates, but here, most inmates can comfortably look after their loved ones from gains and profits generated from sales of their wares inside the prison. No wonder many feel at home and enjoying their stay in here. And can afford to live comfortably for so many years while doing their time. What a world!!!

At the end of yesterday, there were two deaths and five escapes from La Joya, I guess trying to put pressure on these guys will bring about more rebellion and more escapes. I hope those running the Panama prison system should watch the Ross Kemp On Gangs documentary, when he was in South Africa most notorious Prison. They will see how a warden runs the prison and able to suppressed and keep the inmates on latch without major incident. They drink, party, blow smoke on Saturday´s night and sleep out on soft Porn on Sunday, what a way to run jail, but they gotta do something to keep the lid on or like a pressure cooker, when it´s open, it could be very explosive as we are seeing now.

Spoke with Schat as we watch film and chat through the night, too bad as our television is not working due to signal problem. Kinda better as we won´t be putting up with the rubbish of Panama programs.

Spent the rest of the night reading and hoping for a quick court date, hoping I will be call any moment from now.

Thursday, 20th of May 2010.

Up as Billy came, got my BF and back to sleep, been raining all night and through this morning, nice for a change, but then, can´t jog and won´t be able to do much workout in the field. Guess gottta to stick to the gym and do some proper weights.

Terence, one of the best Brewers and our Yankee crack head here came in with loads of books and magazines for me. He will be leaving soon, after some time here. And also drop half a litre of moonshine for me, he will love to visit my country to try proper grass, I hope the grass haters from other EU countries won´t pressurize our Government into giving in for a total ban on grass, as I have read in recent times how a border city had closed all the Grass joints since they believe majority of the tourist are coming to get high. Well, if I´m a lawmaker, people should have the right to what they want so long they don´t disturb others.

Had a bowl of oats without milk as there´s none, and out for workout, but ended up in the Library, try to finish some work and also make list of our groceries. Hope the law on groceries doesn’t change before weekend when we are suppose to get them in. Once you get too much groceries, it won´t be allowed in by the cops as they believe you are trading on them; to trade here, one need a permit from the Director. One of the old guys here used to trade and he was a real squirrel, I remember back in December through Pope´s help having him lend me $5, had to pay $6.50 in about 3 days later. He used to sell things one can munch as snacks and also bits of food stuffs, but had to stop as he needs Permit.

Despite all this phony policies or politics, those who knows the right button to press, still get what they want.

Finished from the Library, and to gym for workout, ended up with the wrong set of guys, had to hasten my workout and leave. Hanging around some of these guys could become fatal as any little stupid words could go a long way. I remembered the last fight; it was Malo Palabra (Bad Words). The problem with them, they don´t just know how to say please, how to ignore and let go. Even when they are begging you for a favour, they think you ought to give them. Guess one had to learn certain things in life the hard way.

Back to my cell, had a quick shower, stayed in reading until Jer called me up, gave me 2 pieces of chicken thigh, well didn´t bother to ask where he got it. Went around, got some Garlic and he got Onions, which he made something for the night. Sometimes, no matter how hard or gloomy it may look, there´s still that glimpse of hope that we will pull through each day.

Manni, came in with one and half litre of Moonshine, since nobody is buying, his main dealer forced him to take one bottle and pay whenever he wants. I guess they will all miss the godfather as he use to be a good buyer. Told him, it won´t be that fun drinking Moonshine without ice, so he got one bag. And finally got in when the door was open for him.

Schat rang and we spoke briefly, she got loads to do back home. Had always thought it will be less busy with her Maternity leave, but loads, so glad that she is very strong both physically and mentally. The kids are doing fine and lil Jane is also doing well, but sleeps all day only to wake at night, I guess that´s where they would have needed me most as I used to stay up all night either reading, watching or browsing online.

Wasn´t bad as we drank it with our dinner, sometimes it helps with the sleep as one sleeps off as soon as you hit the bed. Later had tea and biscuits, wasn´t bad to end the night, Jer and Manni in the tea party.

Hope it doesn´t rain tomorrow as I need to walk and jog on the field before doing weights.

Tried reading, but the little devils from the moonshine keeping shutting my eyes, finally succumbed to the power of sleep.

Friday, 21st of May 2010.

Up several times to wee, we had the music playing all night, good soul music from my USB flash drive, sometimes nice hearing some cool music while sleeping.

Billy brought in my BF, since I always leave my bowl on the table, he dropped in on it, up and put in inside. Finally got up and dressed up for my workout. Terence came around and asked how many bottles of Moonshine I will need, well told him, no greens and won´t be getting any soon, he still pressed I should get them and pay next week. I guess he is not thinking if his people comes for him tomorrow, he won´t get the money. Maybe he will want me to wire or send it to him in the states. Like Fabio with his cell mate who was freed, sold Fabio an old banger phone, and had been calling Fabio to send him the money. Wonder how this guys thinks, he is a free man and out on the street. And still asking someone lockup to send you money for an old banger phone which only God knows when that phone started doing time inside the prison. As it is, any phone like knives that comes in here, doesn´t go out. They pass from hands to hands, generation to generations until it´s dead or taken during requisar (Search).

Had my oats with Milk Jer bought from upstairs; the boys up in the Pabellon really know how to trade in time of recession, powder milk are repacked and sold for a dollar each wrap.

Left for the library to finish our groceries list and do bit of writing before taking to the field and my workout.  Did loads lapse on the field and then weights in our makeshift gym. Didn´t stay long before Jer came for me that my Lawyer was around, didn´t want to go but to fulfil all righteousness, went up and it was same story, my files are in the court waiting for the judges to sign and give me a date. Well, wonder how long that will take, just to put a bloody signature on the damn paper. Maybe they are waiting for some back hand, ain´t coming from me.

Guess mine is much better than Fabio as his hasn´t gone to the court yet, according to my lawyer, the laboratory has only two machines for all analysis, and right now only one is functioning. That means a lot of cases are piled up and they have to wait till the machine is fix. It could be a very long queue and long time to wait; most guys like the Colombians with loads of green pays to get their case push forward and get a quicker court date. So at the end, one can say or conclude that all is possible with money. Maybe if I had done same, should be baking my ass somewhere under the sun sipping gin and juice.

Back in and did some workout with the bar in my cell, very helpful especially during lockdown.

No food for tonight, so we got to make do with what comes on our prison food, had Macroni and what looks like salad, but didn´t smell or taste like salad. Warmed it up on the hub, add some spice and later had it as my dinner, can´t be that greedy, left some for Ernesto. Manni had his pancake from what was left from the one I made during the day. We all had ours except him as he has eaten on the set of his film. Had some moonshine which Manni got from Leo, guess he is living up to his English heritage as everyone from that isle are known to love their lager. It wasn´t a bad brew as it was guaranteed by the brewer that it is a wicked potent one.

Had a power nap and woke up to read all night till 3am, pondered over loads and how things will be after the court, just up I get my repatriation back home approved by both Governments, as it will be real devastating to spend loads of years here. It will be a real drain on me both psychologically and physically.

Despite the negative feeling which comes up once in a while, I´m still optimistic about the future and what will become of me after the trial. Hope my repat goes well on both sides.

Saturday, 22nd of May….

Up as Billy came in with my BF, got just two slice of bread and a boiled egg, not bad for a start. Drank my Noni, thank God for such fruit, Nobody seems to like it as it stinks so bad, but after reading the health benefits of the fruit, I decided to stay on it. Hope it works as I have read loads of articles about it.

Back to sleep until Pepe ccame calling that I should open the door for him, wonder where he always dress up to very early. Let him in, he wasn´t happy as he learnt that he won´t be going out alone on any of his appointment outside, yesterday, he had a letter that states that he won´t be accompanied whenever he is going out for appointment in the hospital, he was so happy as he will the freedom of getting stone or pissed. But this morning after confirming from the Director´s office, he won´t be allow alone. I guess this man has lost the kick that made him a dangerous man. He may look strong, but he is a 62 years old man and likely with Hernia as he is been going for checkups lately.

Hope he gets better and stay off the gym and lifting of weights, he should let the younger ones do that.

Back in bed, was called up by Perla; my computer hire shop, guess he is broke and I am also. He left the laptop with me to use till lockup. Had to find 8 bucks to pay him, I really need the laptop for my blog update and other things.

Left to the library as our smokers friends were all in the cell, listening to music and smoking. Had a good and better signal in the library than what we always get in my cell. But then nowhere to plug the power, the battery juice got drained up, when I move to the other part of the library where I can use the mains, there was no signal reception. Back to my cell, the guys were done with their smoking.

Was able to set up and get on with my work… Schat topped up my phone online, nice of her, despite the fact that she is as broke as I am. Glad that she can manage with the little resources she has.

Met with Andorra over my laptop permit, paid him half of the money, he promised by this week, can´t wait for him to get this done. Since the transferred of the guys to la Joya, the director issued a new Memo stating that everyone with laptop or PC should get a new permit issued and signed by him.

Many things has changed in the centre, so no more weekly visit, those having visit are all out and the rest of the boys are hanging around watching. Business is as usual and normal. Guess it will be a happy weekend as I heard there is real liquor, but the problem will be money as many are really broke to the bone.

Hope this week ends in peace without any major incident…… and we will survive through the night as we don´t have food. All is well!!!



Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2010 by doingtimeabroad

*WEEK 19*

Monday, 10th of May 2010…..

Agent out for work, while Pepe and Jer are out for School, cells were opened but locked in from going out to the Patio as the meeting was on with the government officials. So, our lives were centered in our side of the centre, board games, dominoes and those buying and selling were busy transacting their different businesses. Surprising how one of the dealers those his trade, most of clients don´t get their products from the front side of his cell, they all go through the back side, I wonder whom they are hiding from, when everyone here knows who does dope and who doesn´t. I don´t think they are hiding from the wardens, as most of them turn a blind eye to most of the things that happens here.

Just after the last Riguisar (Search), guess the police were still getting ready to leave, the boys were all about selling top up vouchers, the walked around calling on what network they have, even when they see the custodios around them. I guess it is just we the foreigners do things with bit of respect for the wardens.

The doors were finally opened to let us out, just as about when the meeting was finished, the large numbers of police they brought along, shows how the Panamanians politicians manage resources, well, like we know, the biggest employer in Panama is the police and followed closely by the Panama Canal, I also happened to see the new Directress of the Femenino (The Female Prison), well she will passed as one of those Colombian Barbie, what on earth do they think, well, when they say Women power, it means a lot or has much to say. She is barely 28 years old, whose father happened to be a politician or highly connected. I thought prison Governors or Directors are Men and Women who had earned that position by years of experiences in the Prison services or ex-cops who had worked and lived their lives among criminals. Not a beauty queen whose dad knows how to press buttons. I guess she had the first hand taste of being a boss after 3 escapes from her centre. From what I heard, she barely does anything as the police run the Female prison.

Once heard one of the Female wardens who accompanies the girls from the Femenino to our centre for the film was once made the Director of the Femenino. With hers I can understand, as she has had training to deal with Prisoners, but then, I guess she ran out of favour from the king´s makers as she lost the job and went back to being a warden. She is also pretty and tall….

Did some workout before lockup time, our Bossman came out today in his best suit, look great in it as the boys were catcalling and hailing him.

Nobody knows what they must have discussed in the meeting as we all believe it was about Prison and prisoners… Hope it will be something good.

Manni made Rice and Egg sauce, which has become his speciality, making egg sauce and eating it with either rice or Pasta.

Spend the rest of the night reading and hoping this will end soon enough to preserve my sanity. 

Tuesday, 11th of May….

Out for workout as the Manni and his crew took over the library for the next scene that needs to be shot in the library. Was allowed to work a bit while the set was being set up, but had to leave. The ex-directress of the Femenino and now turned warden escorted the girls in with a female cop and two other Female wardens. Had to leave the library, this is the first time the girls had come so close to the boys here, so there were lots of Catcalls from the boys.

Don´t really know what con girls think of themselves, at least someone think nice of them; con guys also. One of the girls in particular whom we nick-named Land Cruiser as she is loaded kept walking up and down, that the police in the tower were pissed, and asked her to stay in the library. Guess just as the lads here has got some much time in the hands and doing nothing other than sit all day smoking pot or doing dope, the girls also sit all day grooming their bodies, especially their nails and hairs.

The filming was done with, and things went back to normal as they girls were escorted out, well wonder what the cops thinks, if the boys will jump on the girls.

Not much happened today, hope not much should be happening here everyday, and then it will be as normal as it could be. Because when things happen, it’s either for the worse.

Back in our cell, we are running low on our groceries, no food and we haven´t gotten anybody to help us do shopping, hope we get someone soon. One who will do it without thinking of ripping us off?

Jer was able to get hustle some mince beef, well don´t want to know where he found it or how he got it, so long it has made it into our cell, it will make it into our pan and our stomachs.

Spent the night reading and knowing for sure, where there is life there is a will and there is also hope…. staying strong for those praying for me to stay and remain strong.

Wednesday, 12th of May…..

Got my BF from Billy who came in early as the doors were opened very early and no workout as I want to work on one of the PC´s in the Library today.

In the library, things were set up for the last shot of the library scene, the girls came in abound with strong security, and don´t know if they heard of pending kidnapping. Most of the boys were sent out of the Library. I stayed back and did some work.

After my work, had some minutes to reading before feeling dizzy with headaches, left for my cell for a quick nap.

Back in cell, Jer brought loads of fresh fishes and packed frozen seafood, seeing him prepared them, I knew that it wasn´t for us. Later told me that it was for the Deaf and Dumb lad, Billy and his crew of young friends from Pabellon. While he was cooking, took a nap for while and got up as the pain subsided.

Went out and hustle for my dinner as I have no idea what we are eating tonight, guess Jer wouldn´t worry as he has loads to eat from. Lucky as Fabio finally cooked some Pasta, got some and ate that.

Was the last in the cell as I was out and about begging other inmates for ingredients we will need to make something for our dinner.

Manni later made another of his Egg Sauce and Rice, which is the best as we don´t have anything now. While he was cooking, Jer and I slept through till he woke us for dinner.

Schat and I talked loads lately, she and Jane are doing pretty good, my son thinks she is Mommy´s baby, as he always says, Mummy your Baby is crying, guess soon he will get to know that she is there to stay and also to take over his place as the Baby of the house.

Spent the rest of the night after dinner reading and brainstorming, guess not planning to escape, as that will cost me loads of money which I can´t afford and may end up living on the run. Guess it doesn´t worth it.

Thursday, 13th of May….

Was woken from the noise and the light going on in the cell, Jer was up screaming at agent. At first didn´t know what happened, but Jer later explained how agent has spilled cream on the floor and picked up the towel from the toilet corner we used as mop to mopped up the spillage. And then dipped his hand into their breakfast bowl and picked up his bread without washing his hands. Jer was made, and I guess every one of us would be mad at him. Because of his manners and how he does things, we have resolved to do things without asking him to help, not even with washing the dishes after dinner or cleaning of the cell.

I later cleaned up the cell and left for library, but it was closed. So used to the time to my workout as hanging around in the cell wouldn´t be a good idea. Guess that was the right thing for me, as I can let out the steam by working out and sweating off.

Since there won´t be visit this weekend, due to census in Panama, all visit was schedule for today, but not so many people made use of it as most of their families will either be working or the time was too close to get them make the change. Thanks to the Director who had the memo out on Tuesday.

Jer was determined to send Agent out, as he told him earlier in the morning to look for another cell, but I doubt if agent will get any cell, as nobody will want to live with him. Most of the guys here had heard about him and many did time with him back in the states.  So nobody will want him in their cell, so I guess Jer has to let it slide as one of those things. As they say, the Devil you know is better than the Angel you don´t know, we don´t know who will be our next cellmate, so it´s better we deal and live with agent until he leaves as he will be leaving soon on conditional release.

Beef came up today with the Prison lunch, Pepe got loads and I got some, we had them frozen for future use.

Had my hair cut by Robbie, my country bloke, while barbing my hair, he told me he has something to tell me. Wonder what that will be, hope it will be something good. I know it will be something about the system here.

All ended well, as no trouble of any fracases in the centre, we had our dinner same as always; egg sauce and rice, getting tired or should I say sick of eating same thing. And the so call diet food isn´t what they say it is.

When agent got back, he made peace directly with Jer as he must have talked about it and they must have told him to make peace. As Jer got many henchmen and boys on his side, I guess spending 4 years in a place like this is enough due to earn on some respect and a place among the hierarchy of ball players here.

Spent my night in the comfort and safety of my bed, reading and thinking… that´s one thing you can´t take from me; THINKING!!!!

Friday, 14th of May………….

Up early as Billy came in with my BF, out for a jog and later back in cell and did some workout with the bar in my cell, good for my shoulder´s traps and also for ABS. Hope I get something close to 6 packs when leaving.

Music is blasting from the studio as the atmosphere is charged for today´s program. The centre regularly holds musical events, exhibition of art work and other things and families or friend are invited to come into the centre. But they are only allowed in the Patio and no more than there. While they are here, the security is beefed up as the wardens are stationed in strategy places to watch all doors and exit points.

Many of the youths are busy making music, so an events like these is where they can showcase their work, others show up what they have been busy doing behind  closed doors as most people ain´t allow into the art studio or the wood workshop.

Finally got the time to call my Consulate, was glad to learn that my file has been taken to the 1st Judge, 2 More to go, it is at the 3rd Judge that I will call upon. What a process, can´t wait to be done with this whole thing.

Robbie finally got hold of me and took me into his bed, back then when I was in the same cell with him, I used to sleep on the 2nd bunk bed while he was on the 3rd. Climbing up on the 3rd is such a hard work, then think of sleeping on such a high ground. Hidden from others by his curtain, he brought his new toy, he just bought a new phone, looks like Blackberry, but not blackberry, one of those knockoffs from China.

He told me how someone has snitch on him, and had the wardens coming to search him, thinking he has gotten the phone, he knew I won´t do that, as we are on the same boat. Some batch of Custodios here don´t really like him, so if they get to know he has this new one, they will hunt for it till they get it. Nice phone, help him set the internet function and also showed him how to get on facebook and other IM programs. If there was a phone that will do everything, even cook food and wash clothes, he will go for it, as this one has TV and Radio. All I need is one I can check mails, text and place or receive my calls. And as small as possible, glad as we are tight now. Guess if he eavesdropped on anything ill being said about me, he will get me informed.

While others were out catching the fun, was in for a read and nap until evening when they all came in.

No food tonight, but glad that picking up my so called diet food can be of help in a time like this. I had mine re-cooked, sometimes we wash the chicken and had it fried again before we can eat them.

Had my dinner and went early to bed, so also everybody as nobody was in the mood to talk.

What a life and how it comes………………Stayed all night reading with my curtain drawn up to set and keep me in my small world of mine.

Saturday, 15th of May…

Up from the voice of the head of wardens as he came detailing what will happen that morning. It´s amazing how the Panamanians make a great fuss out of nothing, little did we know that the census of tomorrow will start today and I guess from Prison and places where people are confined to and where they can´t move around; like Hospital.

The cells were opened one after the other, we were the second to let out, and our details were taking and so also that of other inmates. Our cell could be nice, but also has its negatives of being the first in the line. When there are searches, we are always the first to get the cops and being one of the two biggest here, they seem to spend more time here.

Census done and gone, hope as we have been counted, they will think of us in their next budget. Lucky as we weren´t locked up all day, as we thought that will happen.

The library was opened, went in and did loads of writing and did some bit of reading.

It is surprising what one will find here, I have seen many books here in the library that should be here in the first place; I have seen one on Laser making and now another one on how to make wine at home, browsing through it, found out it is very easy to make wine or any sort of liquor with just about any little things around us. Glad that the book was not written in Spanish as the boys would have taken it before I even get to it. But on one of the recipe, that requires adding brandy to make some sort of wine, No one locked up and having Brandy will want to risk that in making wine, it will be like my looking for brandy of white wine for my Lobster soup, guess nobody will want to do that, when you can drink them and get a good feeling effect which you will never get from cooking with it.

There is also another book on how to cast spell on people, I have not gone through that, I hope it is still here somewhere, as I may need it when I´m planning my prison break, it will come in handy as I may want to cast sleeping spell on the all the cops and wardens before my breakaway.

When I later showed it to Jer and Manni, Jer said, the next book I will find there, will be Prison Break made easy and I added Prison Break for Dummy; that gives me a good idea, maybe we should write a book on such topics, who knows it, will be a good sale. Guess Schat will say the opposite, a book on how to stay out of Prison, like my lawyer said, next time plan very well so as not to be caught. What a crazy world.

Left the Library around 2pm, went into the now refurbished kitchen which is now our dinning hall, stayed up there to read until lock up time. Whoever came up with the plan of the dinning hall was thinking of lining his pocket as nobody is ready to leave the comfort of his cell and sit down here to eat.

Spent some time with Robbie as he is still having problems with his phone, hope he knows how to use it.

Jer used the frozen beef we had couple of days ago from the Prison food to make us a dinner, later told others we need to always be on the look out of what comes on the prison food as they can be needed as it is now.

Last to shower as the warden won´t open the door for me, after much pleading he let me out, went out and had my shower.

Had dinner and called it a night, wasn´t that bad, with food, it is all about what you know what to do with what you have at your disposal. We make good use of anything available, so long they are edible. Just as the boys here are ready to eat anything that crawls from the jungle into the centre.

Sunday, 16th of May………

Schat rang around 3am, up to find my lights on, guess slept off. We talked, glad to know she is fine and Jane is also kicking good.

Back to sleep until I heard Pepe begging Moreno to open up the door so he can get cream (the Custard like thing), since I stopped him from getting cream through my side after the spillage, he really want his cream but he wouldn´t want to defile my small law as I´m the only person he can always turn to in the cell, even when Jer said Agent will be leaving, Pepe who always pick his meal, came asking me if he should pick up agent´s meal, told him to go ahead and pick it up. Moreno did open up for him and he got his cream.

According to Jose (Santos who escaped buddy), he knew Pepe right from Chiriqui, he told of him being one old skinny old man, but thanks to Renacer, he´s back ton life now. Blown up from eating good food and good sleeping condition, nothing can be better than this.

Out and did some jogging and workout, have never felt so better with my body, hope it stays so and I keep up with my workout and keeping fit.

After my workout, got soup from Tito, he makes the best soup here in the centre, later heard from Jer after I asked why he is the only one allowed to bring in things in bulk. He was once a cop who used to nicked coke from the evidence room and sell them out, also had strong ties with gangs and big time dealers. But being convicted doesn´t stop him from still rubbing shoulders with his police buddies here in the centre, as the Captain basically controls this place. He allows him to bring in his food in bulk, who knows maybe the Captain is in the soup business with him.

After my workout, did some washing had them outside on the line, had to stay out and watched over them as they will be nicked if I venture out of sight. I guess the thieves are also watching. So I hung around for the water to dry off, and then got them inside.

Spoke with Schat, she told me of her how Jessie played tricks on my lil Boy, someone else called, after talking with Jessie asked for my son, instead she told him it was me who called, my son being so happy was talking thinking I was the one, but was confused as the conversation didn´t sound like mine. Schat later found out, Jessie was all over laughing.

Glad that all fine and doing good… missing them greatly.

Moreno came for bucks, gave him 2 and the warden that refused me going out but later opened up also 2 for soda.

We had a bit of Moonshine prepared by one of my country blokes, wasn´t bad, guess that will be my last moonshine. Don´t want to indulge in it anymore as I want to concentrate on my workout.

Hit my bed with my books and off for the night…………..


Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2010 by doingtimeabroad

*WEEK 18*

Monday, 3rd of May 2010….

Got Up early from sleep, lately Pepe and whoever has been picking up BF has also been picking up mine and kept it in a different bowl, as Ernesto usually eat my BF if it comes in same bowl. Since it comes in a different bowl, it has stopped him from nicking my BF. Good Idea as my Daughter will say…

Did some workout and had Robbie trimmed my beard, he is busy working on his repat, hope he leaves here soon, as many of the Custodios don´t really like him, they once took his new phone (one that has everything built in, Dual sim cards, TV, radio and wap for internet; thanks to Chinese imitators who are ready to copy anything) and won´t return it even when he offered to pay them. While doing my beard, some of the lads came around, weren´t happy as they wanted to have their hair cut, but told them I only want to have my beard trim. They hung around till he finished with me.

Well living among these guys is like living in an active, but dormant and a sleeping volcano waiting to erupt; unpredictable, one never know or understand their moods, one moment they are smiling with you. Then they heard something and you do something and the mood changes. So most of the foreigners here, are ready to take any shit from them that peace may reign, like one of the small rat who acts as he is all and all in Anexo whom Ben (an English dude in Anexo also) so loathe, he always said if this boy was in prison in UK where fights are always arranged and bare knuckles are used, no weapons, he won´t survive a day, I personally would have love that. Now that I´m working out and stacking up muscles, guess none of the boys here would love to be pummel into pulp if we were to go get into a real bare fist fight. But that´s not the way with Latinos, they love their knives and weapons. And they also love their gangs….

Rained heavily, nice as it will get cooler but heard when the raining season starts, it´s very terrible here in the jungle. Seen big toads, which cats and dogs in Europe will run from jumping around. I guess that is the only thing the boys here won´t eat, they all understand the jungle and the animals here, know which are edible and those that shouldn´t be touch. Anything other Chicken, fish or beef, I ain´t trying, when buying food from them, I always want to know what is used in preparing the food.

More and more Tattoos are appearing, now I get to understand why Mike said these guys are retarded, he has been here for almost 3 years, so he knows them more better than I do. Panama not having their own legal tender notes, make use of the American Dollars, and as we all know “In God We Trust” is an American Slogan, few of the boys had that Tattooed on their backs. How I wish they will allow me, I will make photo collections of all the different tattoos that we have here. I sometimes wonder if the tattoos were done after a Joint-smoking session or after a drinking session. I do like to have one, but also scare of the needles as I don´t think much attention is paid on the sterilizing of the equipment used. Maybe when I get back home, I will finally get one.

When the rain stopped, went out and found out the Bossman is around, made my way to his office and handed him the new permit for the Guitar and portable dvd player. Many of the boys came in with permits for him to sign; I hope he had a good time during his holiday and time away from the centre. He finally told me he will look into the matter, guess I have to use plan M and get my player in, for the guitar, I have a one now. That will be okay as I have been using to learn.

Back in, Milonario won´t let me rest, on me for me, wondered if he thought I went to get money from the Bossman. I have made up my mind to ignore him and I will stick to my balls.

We had someone bought us KFC (Mega Mix), that was lovely as we had that for Dinner with extra chicken Jer made, it was chicken feast that evening and loads of Ginger ale, good old whisky and some ice wouldn´t have been bad with the ginger ale.    

The water stopped running later that evening, guess they were working somewhere around the pipes, but we were lucky as we always keep some in containers and used soda plastic bottles. Good thing about this centre, we don’t really have water problem as most prisons in Panama. Back in La Joya; where I spent couple of weeks before being sent here, water is pumped from a stream around the prison and the Prisoners had to provide for storage facilities to keep the water, which comes not treated for harmful bacteria, we had to pour in bit of chlorine or boil the water to get it purified. Most days, the water does not come. We had to shower when the water comes.

It was nice of the European Embassies to strike deal with the Panamanian Authorities that they get all of us sent here, as I know the Panamanian will do anything to keep us in those places since this centre is meant for the highest bidders. Most non-Europeans and Non- Americans who are here in the centre, Paid lot of money to get here, big thanks for my Consulate that really push it hard for us to get here. Now I see why people will do anything to get here. Remembered while in the transitory jail, a Panamanian who was arrested for drug and money laundry offence, paid over 5Grand so he would be sent here. Neither has he seen nor being here before, but has heard of this place as being the heaven of all prison in panama. At the end he was sent to one of the notorious jails.

Hugo my buddy, who was release today after several Months in lockup in the Anexo, met up with me and had a dollar. But his freedom didn´t last long. His former cellmate in Pabellon has decide to carry on with life without him, didn´t want him in his cell anymore. He was given another cell, but later that night he was taken back to Anexo and actually slept in the passage handcuffed to one the bars. He was high on his regular and started a fight with his new cellmate, since all the cells were filled, he as to sleep on the passage. I believe this will be his last chance of going out from Anexo. He was screaming all night that he wants to die. Hope he doesn´t die, when he is sober he can be a nice guy and looks like Al Pacino in Scarface and talks like him and always happy.

His screams was sort of chilling through the night, was scare he will actually die. I know he will pull it through till the next day.

Spent the night reading and listening to Hugo screams, I guess Fabio my Italian bruv won´t sleep as his bed is next to Hugo and the bar that separate us from Anexo.

Wasn´t a bad day, it all ended well and thank God for the rain, hope it doesn´t bring more mosquitoes out.  Though it will be stinky all night as there is no water to flush the toilet or wash the dish, we will sleep well as our cell is much bigger and well ventilated that most cells.

Tuesday, 4th of May 2010….

Billy the Kiwi being nice to me lately, always leaving extra bread for me, maybe because I once gave him a piece of KFC which is like Diamond here. Up to find my BF in my lunch bowl on the table. Pepe has been up very early, got all the tanks (Containers) filled with water from outside.

Wasn´t long, the water came running; I did all the dishes from last night and cleaned up the cell, I tend to be the only that really care about the state of the cell on a daily basis, Manni is always using his film as an excuse why he ain´t doing much in the cell. My mates could live in the cell for days without thinking of cleaning, but I can´t, make sure I sweep the cell everyday with brush, I guess that´s the best I can do to maintain the basic hygiene here.

While outside on the passage, met Terence; the American crack head, he was asking me for baking soda, I actually have some in my cell which I used for my Pancakes. Well I told him I don´t have, when I talked about it later in the evening, it was then Jer reminded me that he had needed to make his crack. What a cracker!!!! Nice fellow though when he is sober and he actually makes one of the best Moonshine, guess from recipe he learned back in the states.

Manni out for his film as they will be having a press conference today, Jer and Pepe to school, alone in the cell did some reading while I ate my BF.

Our groceries are almost finished, we have to make arrangements to get things in, hope we get to do that soon.

Met Andorra for the letter for my laptop, he is still beating around the bush, won´t get this things done. And also a copy of Microsoft Office to install in one of the new PC in the Library, he also promised to get that for me. Hope he does that soon enough as the only PC with MS Office also has the Zuma game and the boys’ won´t let me use it.

Millonario whom I have been avoiding, came with tears in his eyes, actually begging for 25cts, was appalling, I wondered what he will do with 25cts, maybe beg others  and when he finally get a dollar will get his joint or dope. Pitied him and gave him the 25cts.

Napped for a while, and later had my guitar lesson in the cell, was nice strumming the strings. Only if the boys will allow me, I hope to learn something different while here.

My Custodio buddy who brought our phones in, got the rest of his money from Manni for the phone he brought in, hopes he will relax now.

Had to beg around for Pasta and Onions as we needed things to cook that night. We finally made our dinner and dinned, we had taken care of today. Guess tomorrow will take care of itself.

Read through the night, thinking of the Bossman and his refusal to sign my permit, but signs all rubbish for the Panamanians. And also upset with Manni for his nonchalant attitude towards the things that came to his Embassy which wasn´t allowed in by the police. Had made Schat sent some Parfum for Jesus Mum who has been of help to us, but the police won´t let them in as they were in bottle. But I know many Panamanians who had Parfums, eau de toilet brought in, we even have two bottles in my Cell. But Manni didn´t tell me of this, and who knows what he told Ana (A Panamanian who happens to be the Assistant Consul at the Brit Embassy). I have asked him several times to call her, but he kept beating around the bush. I guess I will forget about it and get something here for Jesus Mum.

Stayed till 3am reading before dozing off……………..

Wednesday, 5th of May…..

Billy dropped my BF on the table, picked them up and threw away the sausage, well; I have made up my mind not to confront him again.

The door was open and we were counted, this they do everyday guess to make sure that nobody had left during the course of the night. Well wonder what will happen when they find out. Won´t it be too late, if someone has actually escaped late in the night and they counting around 7am?

Lately been having pain on my left side, pray it´s not my heart, hope it´s my muscle as I want my heart to remain strong enough to keep me through here.

On my way out for workout, met Andorra and had him made the copy of MS office for me, had it install on the pc. Didn´t workout again as I had to do some writing. Got loads to do as I am behind on my and things to do on the pc. Andorra promised to speak with the teacher, who will be helping me with the laptop permit, hope he does it as he has been pushing it on and on.

Juez and his group are here taking over the shift, it will be money asking and request for soda. Wonder where else in the world are warders asking prisoner for money to buy shag, soda or pay for their transport home.

Got a text from Schat, about my lil boy throwing all their CD´s and DVD´s out throw the windows. He did that before, but then he was a Baby, not now, he is 3 plus, guess he will be getting longer hours on the Naughty spot; a long time out for him. Wasn´t happy with Schat as I scolded her, that more attention should have been given to them. Happy that the window is not such that can be open fully, thanks to the hook that kept it slightly closed. No response fro her, guess she is pissed and I´m too….

More rain and really hard one….hope we don´t wash up into the Canal.

Early to bed as I was upset with schat and she also with me.

Thursday, 6th of May………..

Billy had dropped my BF on the table, but Pepe put it in my bowl, ate some cereal before workout.

Didn´t go out for my workout as I heard my Consulate was here, had my shower and went out with the others boys.

We got out Monthly toiletries and loads of books, magazines, and newspapers from home. Was nice to get something different to read, and moreover know what is happening back home.

While outside, the lads kept calling out my name, guess they knew why we were out, Millonario who went out to work in the green area came back with Aubergine and called me to see, wanted money right away, told Ernesto to give a dollar for the 3pcs, later on that day, and he only gave me 2pcs.

Back in, Moreno escorted me to my cell, knew what he wants, but he only asked me to buy him chips, got him 2 bags for a dollar. Hope he doesn´t come back. Got some of the books to the Library, while there, my old country bloke who has become a die hard zuma fan was clued to the screen of the pc, while the lads from Pabellon were screaming at him to get up as he has been there for too long. I guess that is the only thing that he can do while here that takes him out of his misery in the centre.

We had some ladies from the Kaballah faith in, when they come like that, the boys are all over as they sometimes come with food. There are ladies in the centre as well, but I think they were selected to work here. None are like the Colombians Barbies, we have the fat female custodio who is always with Binoculars watching us, hope she is not peeping as most of the boys shower openly in the tap outside the old kitchen after a hot football match. Well if she does, hope she likes whatever she sees.

The Bossman sec, who doesn´t like us non-spanish foreigners as we have never made advances on her, is tall but big, many of the boys chat up, guess not for real as most of them got prettier girlfriends than her. Then the two petite ladies in the admin that does all paper work for the prisoners and also the centre´s psychologist, very small lady. Most of the guys like playing around them. But I know they ain´t getting no Punany or Pumpum as they say in Jamaica.

Most of the guys here in Galeria could pass as Girl boys, or since they have loads of time, most are seen in the shower shaving all their body hairs, even trim their eyebrows and even use liners. Wonder what they think when doing all these, men are suppose to be distinctive with our hairs and our rugged looks. But not with some these guys who spend time trying to look good more than their girlfriends and at the end of the day, they ain´t going no where.

During one of my phone conversation outside the cell, had to walk behind some cells as to hide from the custodies and also for better reception. Happened to see a used tube of KY Gel in one of the cells, one will wonder what KY Gel is doing in an all male prison. I guess the inmates in that cell will have loads to explain. Only God knows what goes on behind closed doors in the cells.

We had more chicken dinner, I´m begging to love chicken as it is the only source of getting meat protein here.

While chatting that night with my mates, told them of my findings and the KY Gel, we couldn´t help laughing. Well that and more things that goes on here which we don´t know, only those that are involves knows will know and those who really care. The Prison politics and life of the inmates here will make a very good case study for any psychology student.

Read through the night and schat is still cold towards me, but we have resumed talking and texting…. hoping it doesn´t last long as I need her more now than ever. Love her….. Hope she knows that. Tomorrow is her last appointment at the Hospital, waiting for what will happen and also praying that she is fine.

Friday, 7th of May 2010………. “AT LEAST ONE GOOD NEWS TO CHEER ME UP”

Up to wee and to a text from Schat that she is off for her appointment at the hospital. Didn´t sleep as I wanted to know what will happen or what she will be told.

But then, another Text came from her, that she is given Birth to my 3rd child, whom we decide to name Janelle. Oooooooh! What a big relieve, as everything went smoothly, her friend and former course mate who had been on a week long visit to London from Amsterdam was with her throughout the whole time. My lil Janelle is finally here, she won´t be Miss Rumbling as my son use to say, Can´t wait to see here picx.

Very strange and coincidentally my lil girl is sharing the same birthdays as Pepe our old Banker and Nelson our former cellmate who was released on the 1st of Jan this year on the Presidential pardon.

I was very happy when Schat finally called and told me how things went, due to the little complications during my son´s birth, she had to be operated at once and all went well, she was out of the theatre in less than 2 hours. She is fine and lil Miss Janelle is fine, when we were brainstorming for a name. My daughter once told her, since she wants a J name, Jayla would be a nice name for the baby, but then, it sounds more like Jail. Guess Janelle wouldn´t have love it when she grows up and learn of the situation which dad was when she was born and who suggested that name. That was nice of Jessie to have come up with a nice name. If I wasn´t in this situation, I guess we would have used that name.

Jessie and her Bruv later went with their uncles to see Schat and Janelle, they all called me from the Hospital, it was really noisy and they love the new addition to the family. Time to go back home, they didn´t want to as they were both crying. Missed them loads, pray that this ordeal ends soon so I can get back home to my family and loved ones.

I was very grateful that all these didn´t caused her to go through stress that will affect the baby´s health, as she came out very strong and healthy.

Got to the library, did some work on the new PC which I installed the MS office, but didn´t stay long as Manni and his crew will be coming in to shot a scene in the library.

Back in the cell, did some reading and spoke with Schat and also called the kids, they were very happy to see their lil sister, Jessie seems to understand, but my son don´t really know what the whole fuss about baby is.

That night, we celebrated the birth of my lil Angel with 5 bottles of Moonshine which I got from Terence through Mike his American buddy and my tight pal who wants to go into the red light business when he leaves here. Terence probably makes one of the best Moonshine here. We sang for Pepe and also rang Nelson, sang for him, the dude was stoned from drinking blowing smokes, nice as he doesn´t do dope, just pure grass, promised him to visit my home when I´m done here for proper grass.

We went on a bender all night, singing and it was cool fun as we got piss, funny how a man thinks when he´s pissed, wondered what the other cell will be thinking about us, most knew I was a Dad that day. The moonshine was a good one, made from Yeast and Sugar; the basic ingredients for beer.

Put men together and let them stay for a while, the next thing they will be thinking, won´t be sex, but drink and I guess that is why it was men despite the fact they were Monks, but came up with idea of getting pissed and while away the day.

It was a night to be remembered, we drank and sang for my Janelle, for Pepe and Nelson, wishing them a happy Birthday and many more years. I would have made one of them Janelle´s godfather, but Schat won´t be too keen about that that idea and neither will I want that also.

Before sleeping, left a Tenner on the table for agent so he can buy us Chinese rice on his way from work. Since I couldn´t get proper drink for all to share, thought that will be a good gesture to celebrate my Baby´s birth, having a proper and good meal. Hope he remembers to pick up the money.

Slept like a baby and thank God for the safe delivery of my lil Janelle……….. If life was so beautiful like a new born baby, what a good life it will be, but life has got loads of unseen, unheard and unknown ugliness, ones which we can´t see or feel until it comes to you.

Saturday, 8th of May…..

Got up, still feeling the hangover from the drink of last night, guess the best way to beat this feeling will be workout.

After a brief chat with Schat heard lil Janelle voice, it was overwhelming hearing her little voice. Loads of friends went to the hospital to visit her and the kids were so happy, guess my son wouldn´t understand all the fuss about the Baby until he realize that he is no longer the baby of the house.

Dressed up for workout as that will be the only ways to combat the fatigue from last night binge drinking. But found out that Agent forgot the money for the rice, we will have to sleep today without food as there was no food in the cell. Tried getting in touch with him, but nobody could reach him. Finally got in touch with Levi one of the guys that works outside also but on a different location from Agent.

After pleading with him to buy me the rice on his way back, he agreed, but then lied about the price, Agent got his for $2.60 a bowl, but Levi told me it´s around $4.50+ a bowl, finally told him to get me 2 bowls.

When he came back, he told me it was $4.70 a bowl, gave him a Tenner and didn´t bother about my change, was mad with agent for making me waste money on this guy. Wonder why the Panamanians acts the way they do, the always think of profit in anything they do for you. I have never seen one that will want to help you without thinking of what he will get in return.

He even had the guts to tell me, he was going on special permit outside, if I need anything I should call him, he is right!!! Guess that will be the last he will here from me. Fortunately, it may be the last he will ever get Chinese rice as they all messed up today after drinking, that cops around there wanted to cuff some. So the driver has decided not to stop there again.

Did my workout and felt very good, life was and looked normal in the centre as it´s weekend. The guys from Pabellon had their visit, guess there will be plenty to eat and smoke as most of the people smuggled things for them. So appalling how the Panamanians think, back in La Joya many mothers, wives and Girlfriends were arrested for trying to smuggle in drugs for their men locked up there. I wonder what they weren´t thinking when they were doing that. These guys are locked up for whatever crime they had been charged of, and instead of helping them through rehabilitation, they are supporting or aiding them. Maybe some does it for the profit as things are more expensive in jail than on the streets. Even foods are so expensive down here, guess soon we will be eating dust.

After workout back in the cell and in the toilet for a little shyte, the door opened, thought was one of my mates, but was surprised to see the dude who nicked my tank, knowing quite well that nobody was in, he should have close the door and not enter, but he entered the cell quietly and started looking around, maybe what next he will nick. It was then I popped out my head from the curtain, he was surprised to see me and also shocked. This is one of the reasons why cells are always locked when nobody is around. He left without uttering a word, what an ill-bred idiot; my little Jessie keeps conversation better than this dude.

Later that evening, made something nice from the Chinese rice we got, was thinking for Nasi Goreng, so did something like that, thanks to Soya sauce, like Chris Rock said, if the food ain´t right, just add Ketchup to it and it will be ok, you can never go wrong on Ketchup. We dinned well that night and had the rest of the moonshine, Pepe and Jer won´t drink from it. That has made me think twice about drinking moonshine, these guys been here longer than us, I guess they know better.

Spent the rest of the night in my solace, thanking God for my lil Baby and also for the gift of life as each day comes and goes and we still live to see another new day.

Sunday, 9th of May……..

Throughout the night and early hours, drank loads of water, finally woke up around 3ish, guess the body didn´t want to sleep, made several visit to the loo to wee. Back to sleep until Billy the Kiwi came calling with my BF. Tried napping again, just couldn´t, up for workout, glad as my stamina is improving as I do more lapse on the field now. Went to do some weights, but couldn´t do much, as thoughts flashed through my memory. Sometimes, you wondered what you are actually doing here. Guess since I´m here, like Manni said, one had to leave a legacy here.

Back in the cell, did some shoulder work with the bar in the cell, then shower and used the remaining rice to make something with eggs, shared it with Jer who was glad to have it, was nice I didn´t throw it away last night.

Agent back from visit, as he entered, Jer with one of the guys from Pabellon came in with him. Was surprised when he pull out his knife from his pants, what the heck does that suppose to mean, they played some expensive joke on Agent. The guy slides his blade back in his pants, what of if mistakenly the blade cuts through his little john? Guess they´ve never thought of that.

One will wonder why they walk around with knives like Hunters, and that is one reason, you can never get into fight with any one of them as you never know who is armed. Thus, one has to ignore and brush aside whatever the boys’ throws at you in order to avoid issues. This particular guys goes out on permit to work everyday and is due to be release soon, I will bet with anybody that in less than 6 Months after his release, he will be back in Jail.

We heard or it may be prison rumours, that Bambam that escaped with his crew had been re-arrested and two members of his crew had been liquidated, guess by other gangs. How wish they knew, they would have stayed back here as this place was the safest place for them.

The centre was been prepared for a big meeting with some Government officials, one will wonder what happened to all the Conference halls in the big hotels around the city. Well maybe the meeting will be held here to bring to all those that will be coming that they may each end up here if they mess up. Good idea, but then we know what it means having a meeting here, total lock down till they are done.

We had the last of our fish, hope we get more soon. That we wonder how we will get it as I can trust any of these Panamanians to help with shopping as they will rip you in any way they can.

Spent the night reading, reminiscing and harking back to memory lane, what a life one had lived. Like Manni said, after he was arrested, and on the bus en route to La Joyita where he was before coming here, as the bus drove further from the city and losing sight of the city line. He said, he had had his share of the good life, so whatever comes, he is resolved to take it the way it comes. He once thought that he will either be killed or die from food poisoning, but glad he pull it through and here he is today, the brain behind a prison´s film project; The first ever in Panama and probably same in most of the Latin American countries. Nice having a buddy who is optimistic about life, even when life doesn´t look that optimistic and promising.


Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2010 by doingtimeabroad

*Week 17*

Monday 26 of April……

Up very early as I heard my name, Billy the Kiwi need a metal spoon (Metal Cutleries are prohibited here in the centre), guess Jer was about cooking in the small room. Back to sleep, but after looking out from my bed and seeing the doors open. I got up, had my shower, had my BF and went to the Library, did some reading as the gamers were all over the pc´s playing Zuma.

Out and saw Diaz; one the wardens who is always on me for dough posting new memos on the wall of the library. Read through and below good news, things are going back to normal, Both Galleria and Pabellon will be open all day from 8am till 4pm and all cells will be lock up by 6pm. That´s pretty, my only prayer is that the boys will keep calm for a while and the Bossman meant business now. Back to my cell for a power nap, but noise and calls from Luis, Milonairo, ignored them. One good thing about sleep, once you are sleeping, no one disturbs you. Tried and nap a while, got up from a call, spoke with Schat, my Lawyer and a friend. The kids are doing fine but really missed my presence in the house. Always trying to make my presence in house despite being thousand of miles away from home is on thing I have tried to do.

One of my boys from Pabellon who had been locked up in Anexo, guess for foul mouthing one of the custodios was released. He came straight to me, later found out he is just 19 years old, got a kid and being in jail since he was 15 years old. One will wonder what will become of this country in 20 years from now. Read that the ratio of women to men is like 7:1, imagine what will become of them in some years from now. And that´s is why so many westerners come here; Sexo!!!

Around the passage, the boys were playing their usual fight games; sometimes it could lead to the normal thing where knives will be drawn. At such game, you are allowed to hit blows around the body but not below the belt and above the neck. From the most I have seen it could be very painful but they all bore the pain as letting down means one is a sucker.

Castillo, one of the guards is on me just to get some money, ain´t got nada for him, hope he understands that the times are hard. The funny thing here, they don´t asked the Panamanians for money, as they know they won´t get nothing from them.

Well, the day came to an end as we were all hauled back to our cells, now the new law or rules as from today will be, both sides will be opened from 8am till 4pm. We will all be allowed to hang around the passages and transact all kinds of business in our respective areas until 6pm when the cells will be finally locked up. But I doubt if this will work. As these guys are so laid back, one has to push them into doing anything, even when the whistle go off, some are still busy playing dominoes or still hustling dopes or grass for the night.

Well, on the first day, the cells were locked up by 6pm, most were still open by 7pm, but at the end, they will all end up in their miserable cell for the night.

Back in, all stayed cool as we settle for the night, with our dinner and my juice. We watched film and we chat about how things will be now that things are back to normal. We really hope that the boys will keep their knives wherever they are stashed. The director as we have heard is on holiday to be back on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Spent the rest of the night reading and sent some text to schat…. what a big relieve that we have access to phones and sometimes internet. It really helps with the emotional blues that sometimes befall us. Another day gone and a new beginning for the inmates in Renacer…..

Tuesday, 27…..

Had an early morning, glad that all is back to normal again. Hope it stays this way for a long time. Got online briefly at Andorra´s, checked my mails, and printed the permit for my Portable DVD and Guitar again. I hope this time; the Director will get to sign and also enforced it so the cops will allow them in.

Blanco; a Dominican who has been here for a while and also studying law, wants me to buy his guitar, he started the price from 100 Bucks, after talking with Jesus, he said 60 is okay, he was on me all morning. Told him to wait.

Manni who was on the rush to get out, got the tap broken, the water won´t stop running. We both did our best to get it fixed, but it won´t work as the rubber washer inside is either worn out or broken. Gotta get that fix as soon as possible, I know when Jer comes in, he won´t be happy with Manni.

Hugo my crack head buddy in Anexo for a while being calling on me, guess for a dollar. His former cellmate and buddy is out and about selling breakfast, guess not for Hugo, but for himself.

Finally hit the library, did some writing and left as the youths from Pabellon kept getting on my nerves.

Met Fabio my twin brother; we were both arrested on same day, since then, we have been together throughout the whole process. Gave him some vegetables and Tomatoes paste so he makes pasta, but he rather did Pizza and gave me a big piece, well that would have been enough as my dinner, but not sharing food with your inmates makes one look pretty  bad and stingy. So, I had to leave some for the others. Did some workout with the bar in the cell and later had my shower.

The day is almost done, all inside, we made our dinner and talked about the day. Manni told us of his new addition to the film, well the film was suppose to be the work of prisoners from both Renacer and the Female prison, but from what Manni said today. The Director brought in his friend´s wife, a young pretty faced girl to play the girlfriend of the lead character. That part has been rehearsed by on of the girls in the Femenino, but as things goes in Panama, one good turn deserves another, his buddy who is actually an MP in the government must have heard about the film, and requested that his pretty wife should be in the film. The other girl who has been prepared for the role is shoved off. Guess that is Panama for you. The MP´s wife is just 22 years old and her man probably in his forties. Guess that´s what Money and Power can do. You get what ever you want.

Later that evening as the Custodios were busy locking up the cells, one of them that is Jer´s man, came up to drop some important message, that they will be Requisar (Search) the next day, Jer told us, guess we all talk through the night and forgot to stash our phones or we thought it will like every other search, they always come around 8ish or 9ish in the morning.

Read a bit and slept late……

Wednesday, 28th of April 2010…

Was woken up very early around 5.30am as the cops filed into the passage of the Galleria, since I slept late, I was so confused as what to do, but managed to give Jer my phone to stashed away. Heard the Captain shouting at his boys to hurry up and start the search, so we won´t have the time to hide things, but that was the biggest mistake he did, they did cell by cell search, thus giving the others time to hide their stuffs properly. Our cell and cell 1 were the first to be search, in my rush to leave; I left 2 Nokia earphones in my pillow. Despite the time spent by 5 cops in my cell, they couldn´t find anything. I believe they found one of Batteries, thus they spent more than 2 hours in our cell, but couldn´t find the phones or anything else.

My chips were in my books, and being Panamanians who are scare of books, they didn´t bother to check through the books, just like their fellow brothers in the centre, scare of books in the library. All they want to do with the pc´s in the library is watch porn all day. Outside as we stepped out from our cell, we were stripped search for any conceal weapons or contrabands. After Cell 1 and 2, they move to other cells, one after the other, giving the boys’ time to properly stashed their stuffs and wait for them. At the end of the search, they found few earphones, chargers, moonshine that was still in the making, and a phone. There was nothing really important or that will make anybody go waoooooh. But up in pabellon, they found 3 big knives plus a machete, phones were taken and weapons they fashioned to be used in case of fight.

I guess the director planned these search very well, we just got back to normal on Monday and he got his search party on to clean up the centre. All these happen while he was away on holiday, good for him.

While sorting and arranging my stuffs as they were scattered everywhere on the floor of the cell, one of the custodies came calling that my Embassy is around, should know better, it won´t be my Embassy as we know when we should be expecting her. But to them and the boys here, once an official comes visiting us, they know it´s the Embassy and they will be waiting for whatever we bring up. The Custodio reminded me that it´s pay day, quickly got myself ready as I joined the two others outside to meet with my Contact person.

We all had our individual talk with her and each time she comes, we do have proper conversation other than what we have in the centre. Our conversation covers wide range of topics and issues. About our welfare and personal life, at least I feel relieve talking to someone about my true feelings instead of faking things as it´s the case here. Very hard to express ones true feelings towards some of the sh*t thrown at you by the boys here. The guy whom I gave my Just Cavalli Tank and later nicked my black tank has been very cold towards me and most of the foreigners here. Like Jer always say, keep them at a arm´s length, lately I have been locking up my cell when I´m indoors, we used wood to wedge on the door, that once closed, can´t be open from outside. Moreover I have stopped watching videos during the afternoon and before lockup time, keep them till evening when they are all in their cells.

She asked my loads about Schat as she is counting her days to her delivery day, can´t wait, it´s like I´m the one pregnant. Pray that she has a safe delivery and all goes fine. We talked about the kids, if they know bits of my culture as they were born in Europe. I do my best to teach them what I know and also our food, music and arts. Hope as they grow up they will learn more and understand better. Won´t want them to forget about their lineage and where it all began. Manni my English mate who is also of African heritage upset me when he said he is an Anglo-Saxon, when he said that, I wasn´t the only one that got pissed, most of the guys also. Well told him, you could be born in Moon or anywhere, but your lineage lies somewhere else and it will be nice if you could trace and know a bit of where you came from. Well I think his parents should be blame for his ignorance of his own lineage.

Got some Magazines, which is very good as it gives me update of the outside world and what is happening outside of our little centre. Three of us got little gifts from her as she will be away for some time visiting the home country.

While outside, got dumplings from Caballo, one of the guys from Dominican whom we have bonded as he speaks English. Perla wanted to know when I will get the laptop to use, well since I haven´t updated my blog, I won´t be in urgent need of it now. Guess he is broke and needs money.

Back in, Moreno one of the nice custodio, when on dope becomes hyper-active was on me, wanting to know if I got money, when I said no, I guess he understands as it wasn´t all of us that went out. Then he knew it wasn´t the embassy that came.

When I went through the cops at the security, they didn´t search me, guess that´s how they work here, if I was having contrabands of drugs, could have easily taken them inside.

Blanco, finally came to me with the guitar, guess he also saw me walked in after my visit, thinking I have gotten money. After much bargaining and hassling, we agreed for 55 bucks, paid him 50 to pay the other 5 on a later date.  He made me promised to help him with his English test and coursework, agreed also. At last I have a guitar here, one thing with prison, once things gets in, they don´t leave or go out. They get recycled and are used and used for years till they finally give up.

Our Toilet and Tap were fixed by one of the inmates here; we contributed money and paid him. In Panama´s prison, once you have been assigned or given a cell, it´s automatically becomes your home as you may end up staying or living in that cell for years. In the West prisoners are moved from one jail to the other throughout their time in incarceration. But in panama you live in that cell and anything that need to be fix or change, one has to do it himself, the only thing that is taken care of here are the doors. When the toilet is blocked, light bulbs broken, new paint coat needed, the inmates has to sort for all these. The only time one move or changes cell here, is when you have quandary with one or more of your fellow cellmates. For your own safety, you will search for another cell and inform the custodio whom you think is friendly with you, sometimes you have to pay them to get you move. That´s how stupid the system here is.

Someone sent for me from Anexo, when I got there, met Carlito, the small boy who laboured for one of my country bloke who has paid his way out to fight his case from the outside. He was in Anexo for whatever he must have done to the Custodios, guess he will be there for a while. Asked him if he has heard from his god father, he said no, well that will be too bad of my country bloke if after all the promises he made to this lad, he never calls him to say hello. This lad served him, washes his cell and also watched his back from others in the Pabellon area. Well, now he needed money from me, and Hugo who has been there for a while also wants me to get him some eggs. After attended to them, back to my cell to prepare my fruit drink, Papaya and Orange juice. Glad that once in a while we get fruits as they grow around the centre.

We later heard that there was also a search at the Femenino yesterday and today at the Female prison, there were 3 escapes; one will wonder how those fatties could jump the fence there. But they did, as I will put it every desperate actions demands desperate decisions. One will wonder where they will be hiding and what they will be doing. One good thing about the system here, we don´t have uniforms except for our visiting Blue T shirt. I guess it won´t take them seconds to mingle with the people on the streets and those girls look prettier than most girls on the streets as they sit all day tending to their assets; nails, hair, and whatever they tend to care about.

Schat finally get to me after much trying, told her of the search and how we survive this one, we know more will come, but at least one has survive this one. The kids are doing great and still wanting to know when I will be back home. Hope soon!!!!

Dinner and talks about the day search was all we did that night, how stupid the cops were, spending endless hours in our cell and couldn´t even find my earphones which were in my Pillow. But glad it ended without any big find in the Galleria, one will wonder where these boys hide their knives. Guess only known to them and their gang buddies.

Spent the night reading and thinking of what will come next…..

Thursday, 29th of April…………

Just as the doors were opened for the Meduca workers and agent from our cell, my Custodio buddy came in with our phones, glad it finally came in, but he needs more money, told him we will talk later that day. Out for my daily workout, jogging and did some weights. Met perla, paid him for the laptop as I will need it tomorrow, he needs the money badly, lately he refused night rental as he charged same amount for day rental which is fewer hours than night rentals. So I hope to get it from 8am – 4pm tomorrow.

Did some washing, I guess I have to be drying them in the cell as they are always stolen from the lines outside the centre. And I won´t trust those laundrette in the centre to do my laundry as they wash every materials with brush, thus ripping the fabrics.

Got the old trainers I washed and sent up to be sewn, when he brought them back, the laces were gone, but we can´t argue about that, quickly look for another to replace the lost one.

Business in the Galleria has gone back to normal; things are selling, from calls cards to dopes, pizza from the Happy Italians to food prepared by the Panamanians.

The Italians are the happiest foreigners here, as they all do dopes, so they have found the right place to be and spend their vacation. Followed by the Spaniards, most draw lines also. And the Panamanians who are the sole traders or dealers, despite the lawlessness in the centre, there are certain rules here which everyone must adhere to, this rules keeps us going.

Schat and I chatted about things and what´s happening over here, so nice how the phone and sms helps us and keep us going. It really bridged the gap between us and we don´t really feel the distance much.

It rained today; hope it helps get the place cool as it´s been so hot lately, just like the sun, when it rains, it rains cat and dogs.

Lots of the inmates being prying through our cell for DVD´s, mostly the ones with girls dancing, they also use that opportunity to nick things as many of stuffs are missing. Hope we can stop them from coming.

Dinner of Coconut rice and chicken which wasn´t bad for the night as we chat into the night.

Read all night and fell asleep with books all over my bed…. up to use the loo and back to the books for a while, but just couldn´t as thoughts ran through my mind; wondering how things will go and the speed up of my case.

Friday, 30th April………….

Up as Billy the Kiwi came by, got my BF and left for Pabellon to pick the laptop from Perla, he wanted me to hold on till Sunday, said no as I have paid him. Finally got it, back in the cell, after set up the signal was good but very low. The main purpose was to get my phone working. The phone was programmed for T-Mobile either in Mexico or another country that uses that network. Panama don´t have T-mobile, so I wonder where the dope head bought my phone. The phone was advertised for a cheaper amount, but at the time of buying, I spent more than I budgeted for, and Manni paid double for his, this we found out after getting both phones and seeing Manni’s advertised in a paper. That´s all we get from the Panamanian, they are ready to rip one off a dollar. Asked anyone to help you buy things, they come back with cock and bull stories of what did not happen to the money. They can never be trusted.

I did all I could do, had the software updated but it won´t work, the original T-mobile software remained, after a brief search online, I need software to flush the phone and format it, tried getting it online, but I won´t have enough time for the download. Worked briefly on my blog, checked mails and browsed through news around the world. I guess so much is happening outside there. They may in way affect us, mostly those of us that are married with Children (reminds me of Al Bundy and Peggy), the economies of most countries are not healthy and some so called coalition government are falling apart, always know things like that won´t work as most parties have their own agenda and what they believe. Back home, one of the top politicians resigns; saying he wants to focus on his family, yea right! Teenage kids and a wife, guess he has made enough money and just sick of being call a politician. Maybe want to try and get on some board of directors of some Multinational corp. Wish him the best and hope the new Government works.

Back in UK, election is on the way, have always voted for Labour, Hope people will realize that the Economic turmoil didn´t start from there, but from the States, but I doubt if Labour will win, as they are blamed for the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Happy that Schat got a permanent job, so she won´t be scare of losing her job.

Perla came in exactly by 3pm for the laptop, painful as I didn´t do much with it, hope I get mine soon. The bloody Bossman won´t sign my permit, maybe if it was a permit for knife, he will swiftly sign it.

Day gone and not much done today, Hugo sent for me, met him and he needs money, told him I don´t have, he almost cried as there was no other source of getting that money and the day was fast ending. I finally went in and gave him a dollar, he reach out his hand through the bars grabbing my head, almost gave me a kiss, he gave me the nick name “Big Black” which has stick to me, most people don’t know my real name. Well in prison, the most people here are known by their nickname. My cellmate Ernesto is call “Morisqueto” (A Trickster); which actually true to his character. Many of the boys are all known by their nicknames which they all got from the streets. But like I said, when looking for their real names, just look around somewhere on the bodies as it will be tattooed there.

Pepe back from school with some lemons for me, our old Banker is more intelligent than most of the young lads here. But he is putting his health in danger as he works out everyday; he has become very stiffed that he can´t pull off his shirt without help.

The politics in prison here is quite like what happens outside in Panama, someone has to know some who knows someone. Jobs are arranged among the Panamanians and favours are granted to buddies or if you know someone. You can get things in when you know the right guys to approach and who brings what in. I like to build go reputation with my Custodio buddy who helped got our phones in. Maybe he will be helpful when I need other things. But from what I see here, he is not one of the big players, as those brings in more stuffs. And the way things works here, once you have things brought in, you have to hide it from the prying eyes of the boys as many are informant to some of the Custodios, they informed them of what new stuffs you have bought. Thus, getting the guards on you, always checking what you have.

Lately, some have been checking on me, Manni and most foreigners, always asking us for our phones to make calls, when they see that it is the same old banger, they let go and the most they do is asked for money for soda or cash. Guess no where in the whole world will you find guards asking inmates to buy them drinks or food like here in Panama. They so much believe that most of foreigners are loaded with cash.

Outside on the visit area, portion of plots are taken by the inmates, built their own special tent like structures for themselves and their families when they have visit. It´s like owning a piece of land and setting up your own tent, furnish it to your taste, with Television, DVD Player and flowers. On the day of visit, you see them out there very early, tending to their tents, setting up all the appliances. The workers are allowed an all day visit, so most will have their Breakfast and Lunch with their families. Even Hammocks are set up, where their spouses can nap for a while or lay down watching novellas. When visit is over, the chores of dismantling all those stuffs and another round of checks by the cops takes forever. Most of them had accumulated enough assets here, which they could fill up a 3 Bed apartment. It is so funny how things are run here. At the end, when they are finally free and release, they end up selling the plot or tent to their friends.

The Bossman has been away and we heard he won´t be back until Tuesday or Wednesday next week, despite his absence, it has been all normal here in the centre. No serious incident, though there had been several high tones and exchange of Malo Palabras (Bad Words), but interventions from others has always saved the day.

My lawyer finally came today, wasn´t enthusiastic about going up to him, as I know there´s no good news. But for the benefit of doubt, went up to him, we talked about the system and when I´ll be going to court. Same old stories, internal things going on in the prosecutor´s office. Hope they sort out their difference and get over with my thing.

No major happenings, as the day ends, it´s weekend and loads of food will be coming in as from tomorrow. Guess that is what most of the guys here live for; to eat, smoke and dope!!!

We had our dinner and watch some movies, becoming a habit that we always watch movies during dinner time. My greatest joy is no day goes by without text or call from Schat, as it helps me going and keeps me in touch with home despite my distance from them.

Saturday, 1st of May……………

Early to wee, and then back couldn´t sleep, the bed is so bad for back, maybe I should do away with the mattresses and sleep like the Japanese, read that in the Japan, prisoners are given a flat mat-like mattress laid on the floor and they are meant to sleep on that. Huh! That can be pretty awful, but could be good for the back, guess I will reduce my mattresses from the 3 am using now to one flat one. I wanted to write for permission and buy a better spring mattress, but doubt if the Bossman will sign that.

As I couldn´t sleep, decided to read a short story from Reader´s Digest Condensed Books (La Balsa); A true story about 4 men who embark making the Longest raft voyage on history. From Ecuador they sailed through adverse seas and ocean condition to Australia. Sort of made an analogy from their lives, 4 men from different cultures, ethnicities, living on a world (their Draft) for the period of time they were to sail through and how they got along and life together without quarrels. Did learn few things from that read on how to get along with my mates and many of the boys here without any upset. Nice read!!!

Out for my workout till noon when it became very hot; some days it could be so hot that if you leave a kettle of water standing outside, one will get it ready for tea or coffee. Our German buddy and the older Canadian always sit out for 5 minutes each day to get tan, hope they don´t get skin cancer from the heat of the sun here.

After my shower, made me a brunch, peanut butter sandwich, which is like gold in this place, I always make sure we don´t lack that in our food container. My Indian chief friend came calling, this time with my long promised Lobsters. Damned me, this will be the only prison in the whole world where inmates can feast on Lobsters, not just frozen ones, alive and kicking, kept it for the evening, Jer rallied around for vegetables as I will be the one cooking it later in the evening. Back in La Joya, remembered Johnny the old American telling me a joke about an Indian Chief who had a female reporter came to his Reservation to interview him about life on the reservation. The Journalist seeing all the pretty Indian ladies around the chief as the camera came rolling, asked the chief who they were. The Chief in response said they are all his, both young and old and said I fcuk them all. In awe and blushing, the young journalist said “Oh Dear”, the chief hearing that, screamed “Chief no fcuk Deer, him run too fast for chief”, well I guess my Indian chief friend isn´t like that.

Took a power nap, but calls from Hugo´s mate wouldn´t let me sleep, Carlos (Milonaro) is back with his stalking style of begging. Saw him earlier selling fish for Jerry; the guy whom I helped with his English test and own one of the best looking knife here. Even got me a fish and plantain, but it was too salty for my liking. While in Jerry´s cell, saw his knife, which they used for cutting the fish, one of his mates Ricky whom we talk frequently told me the knife has never been used on any human, well, the last time I saw the knife out it was about being used on the guy from Colon whom they accused of stealing money.

Milonaro and others youths hustle for their fellow Panamanians, but turn to us when they want to beg as they know they won´t get nothing from their fellow Panamanians. I told him, I don´t have money and he wasn´t pleased. Kept talking about knife and gun shot, now I guess he has really pissed me. He will be getting a cold shoulder from now onwards.

Moreno, the guard who is always hyperactive when on dope, came to me that he is sick; guess I´m the new doctor in the centre. He actually needed antibiotics, surprised I still have some that were given to me by the Centre´s Doctor when I was sick, they heaped them for me as if it was sugar. Didn´t even take them as I was scare, since I didn´t know the expiry date. Have heard of inmates who died after taking expired drugs, so I left them there in the paper pack, seeing Moreno eyes, know the dude was sick. I gave him and he actually asked me how he should take them. Well from my little knowledge, I gave him my own prescriptions; he took them and also a dollar from me. Hope he gets better, as he is one of the few good guards here.

That evening, there was an incident on the passage, when I came out, it was between Felix; one of the few guys who had actually spent most of the natural life in jails. I wonder if he will be able to fit in among people when released. Jer loaths him, but being one the bad guys here, people are sort of keeping him at distance. He was with a knife threatening Carlito Diente (Diente, because he has protruding incisors like Rabbit; Conejo), the guy who helped fixed our toilet and tap. Nene and Michael; the so called Pastor of the centre ran in to calm things as I saw Felix actually lifted his hand with the knife in a striking mode. Funny thing here, which is also the number one rule in Prison, Never interfere in another inmate business. People will just stand by and watch and see when the blood is drawn. They later sort out their differences, but I know Carlito will always be watching his back. As these guys never forget or forgive.

Now back to the good life, cooked the lobster for dinner, well white wine or whisky would´ve been ideal ingredients for my soup, but since we´re in prison and can´t get those, had to do with what we can fine. Finally made a good soup with vegetables, loads of garlic and onions. We later had it with rice and Bread, it was nice, no camera to take pictures of us dinning on Lobster. Thanks to our Indian Chief who was once leader of the Natives tribe and a member of Parliament, but needed more money, so he took to extra job, which eventually brought him here. He promised getting me Fishes, prawns and more lobsters. Hope I won´t have to wait for a year to get that.

Another day has gone and no blood spilled, I hope the truce will last longer, so we enjoyed the normal openings before these guys mess things up again. If it so happen again, the Bossman won´t waste time putting us on total lock down as they do in most prison in Panama, we will only be allowed to shower in the evening. That can be very bad for the mind. I pray things don´t deteriorate to that state. Schat and I talked, I´m always worried about telling her events like this as it will disturb her. I hope she understands that I´m fine and God is watching over me.

Did more reading from the Reader´s Digest Condensed Books, nice read for the evening and captivating stories. Praying through the night that things don´t get worse than what we have experienced here.

Sunday, 2nd of May………….

Been reading all night and early hours, slept a while but was awoken by a call, guess the person didn´t know much about the time difference. Stayed up to read a while, before sleeping into the day as others got ready for their visit.

Didn´t workout as I was kinda weak and tired, maybe from the poor sleep I had through the night. Had my BF, showered and out and about.

Moreno met me, telling me he needs some bucks as he will be going to the hospital and then home due to his illness. Gave him 3 bucks, hope that will be enough for him and hopes he gets better as he is a good guy despite his constant asking us for things. Manni supplies him with cigarettes, while he comes to me for a dollar or soda. I can stand that, but not the ones from the inmates, whom I will never gain anything from, even when they have theirs, they won´t share or give you. What I have found out about most of them, most are so stingy that they won´t let you see what they are eating or when they are eating.

Tried napping in the afternoon, couldn´t due to the noise from the passage, Hugo sent for me, ignored his messenger. But Carlos (Milonaro) my stalking Beggar, since he can´t come in as Jer was inside, constantly calls my name outside just beside my bed. He actually asked me for $20 to help him get a new phone. Told him he was kidding, why should I give him that and where will I get it from. He hung around and later left, then came back and made a statement with the knife sign. I sort of knew what he said. But asked Jermaine what he said, and he told me he said, that maybe I want knife in my belly. I guess that was the last straw on the Camel´s back. He never came back, but I knew he will be back begging and sometimes crying. What a crack head…

Pepe´s old buddy gave him a big piece of cake, which we later had that evening, it was nice of his old buddy. None of my young ones will share anything, when they are back from visit; they walked straight into their cells in the Pabellon area. I guess Hugo was the only person that has shared things or given me things; even then, he does it in the secret of his cell. Like when he called me to his cell, was wondering what he wants to do, but when he called Jer also, I was calm, in his cell, he offered Dunkin Doughnuts. I guess his taking us to his cell was to hide it from his buddies as they will all swarm on him.

Danny, one of the cold guys here, look nice, but I know he pulls weights here, with Cash Money tattooed on his belly. Earlier that day had asked for my clipper, being someone who has given me things in the past. I found it had to say no, had to give him. Hope others don´t see it and start coming to me.

Mike (My American Gringo) had a boxing fight with Cadil (the small guy whose Mum could pass his elder sister), it was kinda strange, don´t know who initiated the fight, but it was like real rumble in the jungle thing, pained me as I couldn’t record it with my phone. Cadil who once told us during a moonshine drinking session in my cell, that he is a member of the Perro Negro (Black Dog) Cult, took numerous blows from Mike on his Belly, stood smiling as Mike was punching him, didn´t feel a thing, then he launched on Mike, I had to throw in a white towel to save Mike from this dude. Who knows what he has in him, Cadil was carried up by his buddies as the winner. Things like these happen every time, but one prays that it does not turn into something else.

The Custodios were quick to come in, and when Moreno came into my cell for the gloves, I told him, it was mine, but Ernesto stood and confronted him, he was the one who took the gloves out for the fight as I was busy in the cell. Well I calmed Moreno down, as he was about sending Ernesto into Anexo to punish him. The matter died there, Cadil was crowned the winner.

These and many happens because these guys got so much time and nothing to do, like they say an Idle mind is the Devil´s workshop.

Schat rang, told her about our boxing rumbles thanks to the boxing gloves she sent me. At least someone else is making good use of it.

That evening, we had a lot to eat, as Jer got bits of food from his buddies, funny how they pack food in tiny Tupperware as if they are meant for kids. Wonder if they think one can actually get full eating those tiny portions. Well, we got different things together with Pasta that Manni cooked, we had a lovely dinner. Had always thought Latino Americans had very exoti cuisine, well from what we get from the prison food and what people had been bringing in, Panama hasn´t got much to offer. Every food revolves around Arroz con Pollo (Rice and Chicken), that is the basic food here, being a real multiculture nation, you will fine other national cuisines. Food can actually be very cheap here, but one problem remains, who to help buy them and bring them to you.

We chat ourselves into the jungle night and retired to our individual worlds in our bed, where we each find solace from the world around us.

Glad that the week has ended without any major incident but the normal happenings in prison.


Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2010 by doingtimeabroad


Monday, 19th April through Sunday, 25th of April 2010.

Pepe got BF and spilled the custard like thing on my books, fan and on my head, was so crossed with him, but what can I do to an old man like him. Living with us has made him look and think younger than his age. He cleaned up the floor and I had to clean my books and other things. I knew this day will be coming and it eventually came. I was only scare that it wouldn`t be very hot so I don`t get scald.

Lately, Pepe has been working incessantly, he is so muscle up, that he can`t take off his T shirt without someone helping him, and due to the build up so much testosterones and adrenaline in him, he has become very hyper and always getting on our nerves. I guess the gym is doing that to him. Always forgetting things, I hope the Director grants him permit soon to go out soon so he can relieve himself and come back humbled. Lately he has been doing Diablo like the others, so many people thought were clean of that sh*t , but I was wrong, so many are involved with getting high or higher with dope even the wardens are involved. Moreno of the wardens and my buddy also does it, and when he is high, you see him closing doors and locking up without listening to anyone. He becomes very hyperactive and walks like a soldier in the front line. Good sh*t!!!

With the anger, left for work out, worked out all day till I was relieved of my anger, got back in my cell, it was full of people. One may wonder what so special about cell number 2. In Panama, if you are caught with a stick of joint, you may face a lengthy jail term unlike most places in the world, read recently that in Mexico with 2 sticks of joints you will walk free, whereas back home you can buy enough to host a joint party with friends; Good Sh*t!!!  Many of these guys really want to visit my country, not as tourist, but just to come and smoke good joint, too bad I don´t smoke.

There`s no Coffee shop in Panama or anywhere one can get mushrooms, LSD or any of those hallucination drugs, but in jails here, you can get anything you want. Since one of Jer’s buddies sells leave (papers to roll joints), most guys end up buying their grass elsewhere and then get the leaves in my cell, and end up smoking it there.

Sometimes, the air is so thick of smoke, but gotta live with it as the cell is bigger and much better than the others. Wonder when Jer leaves as he will be leaving soon, what will become of the smokers who always see our cell as coffee shop and with good bashment – reggae music. Guess they will look for other place, or I will be collecting money from them to enter and smoke.

Got to the Library, Pedro won`t give me his laptop, back to my cell and did some reading. Got some mangoes, Papaya and avocados from my fruit supplier, paid him whooping $4, which is damn too much for what he got freely, but since I can´t get fruit from elsewhere or anywhere, I believe they are worth the amount, later made lots of juice from the Mangoes and Papaya.

When Pepe came back from school, he also brought Mangoes to calm and pleased me, well if he knew and understands me, he would have known that I have forgotten about the incident as I took his lunch while he was away. I`m the only one whom he asked for help or assistance to do anything for him or when he needs something in the cell.

Luis; my little friend from Pabellon who lied to me that he was leaving soon, that was months ago, but he is still here now. He wanted me to give him money as he promised leaving his phone for me when he leaves. Well, told him then, I will buy the phone when he is about to leave, for some time now he stopped coming to my cell after I stopped giving him attention.

Spoke with Schat and the Kids, they have all grown up and both talk a lot, asking me questions upon questions, wanting to know when I will be back home, my daughter in particular is getting weary as she always ask if it may take a long time for me to get back home. Well, I pray that it wouldn`t be the type of my son long time; when he wants to say long time… he has to stress it…. Long long long long long long time!!! Hope, my return home won´t be that type of long time which my son always mean when he says long time.

Had dinner which Jer made and my juice, I tend to buy and make juice, but I don`t really care as we all drink and live in peace.

Did bit of reading before slouched in deep slumber as I was so tired from the workout earlier in the day. What a day, glad that Pepe and I are ok, but told him when taking BF through my corner, no more Liquid stuffs and he agreed.

Tuesday, 20th….

Pepe has been picking BF without cream after the spill, guess for now my books and things are safe. He and Jer leaves very early for school, at his age he’s smarter than most of the younger ones here. Showed me some of his class work, did pretty good compared to most of the boys. From what I see here, it´s like the older generation in this country had better education than the younger ones, well maybe I´m wrong as those here are just small percentage of the youths in the country. But it’s so appalling as they can´t read or write and they always appear very smart when dressed up to meet their girls or out on appointment.

As of Jer, he is been making money up there in school, guess as he is preparing to go back home, he want to raise some cash. When the Brit Consul came, he didn´t order much, and he has been cooking BF from the kitchen in the school for his boys to sell down here, and they do sell loads. Hope he is not using from our groceries as loads are missing from the fridge.

Did some workout walking, jogging and then weights with some of the boys here. Many want to know if I´m using Steroids since many of them use. But I´m alright as I´m not working out for a fight or any competition, but to keep and stay fit and most importantly healthy since the doctor here sucks and won´t attend to you unless you are dying.

The Brit Consul came today, since all Consul services has been moved to the Embassy in Mexico, the assistant Consul is a Panamanian and will be responsible for all their needs. Manni didn´t like the idea of having a non Brit running their affairs as she won´t be able to pull enough weight.

When Manni finally came in, he came in with my Package which Schat sent on his name through his Consul as mine won´t accept any other things except books and my educational stuffs. After checking through, the Colonge, Parfums and body spray I promised Jesus mum wasn´t in the pack. When I asked Manni, he said the police won´t allow them in, I told him to tell Ana that he will send someone to pick it up, he never did it and till today as I´m writing he is been beating around the bush. Guess I should forget about it, I guess Ana is using them and also must have given mine to her hubby or boyfriend.

Jer didn´t get to meet the Consul, the warden won´t go up to get him, he came back angry and annoyed, kinda tensed up in the cell, everyone kept to themselves, well I don´t really know what would have happened if he had seen her, he can always speak with her on phone. Guess too much smoke and being here for too long can play bad on people’s mind and temper like it has done to Billy the Kiwi whose country hasn´t got repat treaty with Panama, so he has been forced to do all his time here. He easily gets upset and curses at every instance, always do my best to avoid him.

Luis my lil friend from Pabellion who made me lost my sim card as it was blocked after he used wrong pin and eventually entered the wrong pin the 3rd time, losing about $50 of credits, since then I avoided him and he knew what he did, seeing that things are calm or maybe he saw the huge pack with Manni and Manni who is always pushing them off, must have told him, the packs are mine. Well looking at this kid, one will think he is less than 18 years, but I guess he is less than 22 and he has two or three kids. One thing about him that distastes me is his love for tattoos, he has so many things written all over his body, and some he does it himself. Hands, toes, fingers, neck, just about everywhere he finds enough space, got his nick name (Ton Tin) written all over his body, wonder why he does that. Well he is back, but I will avoid him, he works in the kitchen and used to supply me with cookies when ever it comes with Lunch or dinner. But since the sim card incident, he has been out of the scene, the way they work here baffles me. When one is on you, he tries to keep others off you until he has finished begging.

Made curry with the Octopus, with coconut powder sent by Schat with other things through Manni´s name and Soya sauce, Jer never liked anyone else cooking unless when we don´t have beef or chicken, then he will want us to improvised with what ever we can, well, did my best to make it look like something from Thai Restaurant, damn missed my Thai food. Don´t worry, when I leave here, will have a proper dinner, but then, I can´t eat much again, as every little thing fills me up. Guess the body is getting adjusted to the situation and condition here.

Manni made himself egg sauce as he is not a big fan of strange seafood, we had Moonshine, well Manni being proper English Bloke knows how to arrange shag. Nice evening as we ate as one big bloody family. 

Spent the night reading few chapters from my new book, good habit, hope to keep it up even after Renacer, as it keeps one head sharp.

Another day in paradise or in the Belly of the Beast has gone, still waiting and hoping……

Wednesday, 21…….

Got my BF from Billy who always screams my name, sometimes from the gate outside the passage and some when he comes in. Most times it is always locked until 8am if we are on early shift or locked till noon if we are on late shift.

Still wondering why they keep bringing them differently, as they are same shyte, all they do is rotate it, what comes on the diet meal comes on the normal one the next day; vice versa!!! One thing I know, Billy and the Colombian Midget do some dirty jobs with the diet bread, as what comes most times are white slice bread, but what we get is the while balls like the normal ones, I believe they always keep the slice one for themselves as there always enough bread in the small room that housed the fridge which Jer shares with them.

Food is one of the biggest politics in this place, just as it is outside here, I remembered in my first year at uni writing a pretty nice essay on an article that was feature in the Guardian about The Banana war between America and Europe, little did I know I will be coming to that zone. Guess that was one of my best works in the uni as I got 75%. Since I took my time to do my research and put in my best, little did I know I will be spending some damn time in one of the countries I wrote about.

Since we were on the early shift, dressed out for my daily workout and exercise, did some walking, jogging and then some weights. Felt so good with myself, one has got loads of time to do something positive while here, but I doubt if everyone thinks like I do. In and had a hair cut from Robbie my country bloke, my scare is the clipper, it has gotten so old, and just that one for everyone of us here. Wonder if he sterilizes it, I had expected Schat to send me one, but she forgot as she was in a rush when packing my stuffs. Hope next time she will do it.

Had coffee and my BF, reminded Manni to call Ana, doubt if he does, I knew what I went through with him, when he gave me money to get his phone and mine, ended up paying him while his money was still outside. Eventually the money was picked up and his phone gotten and he had a good phone while mine was rubbished. Over here, I have found out that everyone is just interested in his own wellbeing and making sure his belly is filled. People always hide and eat any good treats which they don´t get often. Like KFC, that´s a big treat here and Buggers, since I´m diet and weight watch, I´m not too keen on them and moreover they get cold when they get here from the city. But KFC chicken is still wicked and cool though….

Apart from Dope and Grass being the Major biz here, no one can´t go wrong with food, once you cook anything, get one of the young lads to do the selling. You are bound to sell, since they just hung around doing nothing, they will want to eat anything. When I say anything I mean anything that crawls, walks and runs around in the Jungle; Iguana, anteater, crocodile, snake, pigeons, just about anything that has flesh and looks edible.

Got soup today from one of the new boys, guess he decided to make use of his groceries and make more money, his soup was watery, but since you have taken, can´t complain, sometimes one need the hot and peppery from their soup as the food here is cooked without chilli. The soup here is something one has to explore; everything is dump in water and cooked together. All you have to find out what sort of flesh is in the soup before buying.

Got my groceries today, the lads were waiting anxiously as if they sent me on errand to buy things for them. Luis (Ton Tin) and Carlos (Milonario)(heard he earned that name after he robbed and made away with more than $1M, but was later arrested and ended up here, guess he was caught in the laps of his girlfriend. Dump ass crook, could have sneaked into Costa Rica or Colombia and buy his way through to down south, and live happily ever after. Now he is just the opposite of his nice name. He is the worst beggar here, everybody denigrates him as he doesn´t know when to stop begging, and even if you tell him you ain´t got nothing. He followed me into my cell, well, don´t know why he tried smuggling in Cigarettes as he was working with agent on the Meduca (Ministry of Education Project) outside, that would have kept him outside till pass 5pm when they come back, then he would be off people´s faces.  Lately instead of giving him a dollar, and since he sees me buy ice, he always for a bag of ice, which I always tell Papalo (A cop who turned bad and shot a fellow cop dead during robbery) to give him a bag, which I believe he ends up selling so he can smoke or do some dope.  I hope he won´t come again, doubt as he sometimes goes off but will still come back.

Got water spilled while talking with Schat, left some veg in the sink as I will be cooking tonight, the Carrot blocked the drain, and water filled up the sink and ran over the whole floors, nice I saw it on time as all our bags would have been soaked in water. Mopped up the floor, guess we won´t be washing our cell this weekend as I have done it now.

Was grateful to Schat for all she sent, for the boxing gloves, guess we have to write for a permit to get a punch bag, which will be good for my Cardio training. Hope Mr. Bossman signs the permit.

Cooked Coconut Curry Chicken and Pork chops (wondered where Jer got the Chops), lately Manni hinted me what has been happening in the small room where the fridge is, there has been food missing, we had also lost our meat, well since no one  was ever caught, one can´t blame anyone.

People nicked things and it´s like just taking and using, the worst is stealing your clothes to mop their damn floor, which is unbelievably heartless. 

We watch The Office; Uk version and Little Britain which Schat sent, felt as if I was home, everything sound familiar.

Spent the night in my bed reading and thinking, glad for my new habit of reading as it helps my mind wonder off this awful place into a different world. …..

Thursday, 22……..

Early and got my BF, guess Pepe got theirs, Jer was out, he called me to hand him some stuffs, quickly got him the wet towels and foot mat, which he hung outside to dry.

We are on the late shift today, so stayed in doing little bit of this and that, Diaz and his group are back, this group are the hunters or beggars in uniform. They kept sneaking into people´s cell and checking on one´s phone. Well, I have an old banger which they all know, so I won´t be bother if they take it off me, but all they want is just money, some asked directly, but since they haven´t seen any new phone with me, they won´t have much to do as in seizing it and asking me to pay. Juez; the king of one pack, seized Robbie´s then, and never gave it back to him, even after much pleas and Robbie offering to pay. Guess it was all over an old grudge and that was the way he wanted to settle it.

Out for workout, but it was very hot outside, loads of water and did some weights, my black sleeveless top or tank which I hung out last night to dry after my exercise was nicked, after looking around, saw the very guy who told me he like my Just Cavalli tank, which I gave to him wearing this one. Talked with Jer, who said I should leave it, as he may say someone sold it to him and then I can´t do nothing. Well I think we need a wash machine and a laundry dryer in our cell. One can´t make use to the heat of the sun that is free and abundant to dry clothes, without fear of your things being nicked. Once you have your laundry outside on the lines, you have to stay out and watch your things till they get dried.

When I told Mike; the Gringo, he asked what sort of top, well learnt from him and Terence that the nick name for such tank back in the south south is Wife Beater; reason according to Terence our crack head yank, that when police are called to domestic violence, most men are always found wearing such. Thus the name Wife beater!!!

Anyway, the dude has it, whenever he comes to our cell, he´s always looking around, I guess what he will like to nick or tell his cronies to nick for him. Manni and I planned to stop the free access to our cell, but having Ernesto in will be hard as he is a Panamanian and also got many smoking partners.

Manni met Andorra to write a permit for my Portable DVD player after much persuading, but came back to tell me how Leo; the Mexican who came from La Joya and whose company´s is providing the Camera for the film project. All of them except Manni have used the film as an excuse to get things for themselves. Leo wrote a permit for a portable dvd player saying that they need extra monitor, when it was brought in, the police checked it, but it never left. But I believe if Manni should send a permit, the director will sign as Manni is his pay maker. On the other hand Manni is always reluctant to do anything, well I think I have to opt for the Plan M my lawyer talked about and get my things in as I need them badly.

Spoke with Schat after she returned from a test on her, all is well and ok, can´t wait for the D-day, Oh dear how I miss her and my lil Angels, sometimes I tried not to think about them, but their pictures are all facing me on my bed stand. I believe they are my strength and what keeps me going, knowing one day I will leave here and be reunited with them.

Made Mango and Ginger ice, but later found out there was no ice and we had to drink it that way, wasn´t nice, I voiced out my heart about the way things are ran in the cell, I and Jer sort of take the cell as ours while the others just wait for things to be done, Manni used the film as an excuse, stays out till 6pm and expect to come in and eat. Others who are in the film thing with him, once it is 4pm, they start hustling for their dinner, either the prison food or make theirs, but Manni, even when all is done he purposely stays outside with Billy, knowing fully well, that Billy has sorted himself out for the evening. So that evening, I told them, that I can´t be wasting my time making juice with anyone in mind if they don´t contribute in one way or the other.

Well, hope things will change, this is the second time we are having discussion about the way things are going in the cell.

Jer was pissed; guess he should calm his nerves as he will be leaving us soon, hope then we will sort out how things are run in the cell.

Once you are given a cell, it becomes your home, you have to make it the way you want it to be, the government don´t really bothers about what goes on, the pain job, electrical wirings, even when there´s blockage in the toilet, you have to get that fix. The only thing that worries them is when the door is broken, and then they will fix that within the blink of an eye.

Most guys here made their cells like a proper home, even some has bottle with Gold fish and Iguana, some nursed baby Parrots till they grow wings and feathers and later sent them to their loved ones. I intend writing for a permit to get a dog, maybe a Rottweiler or Doberman or maybe a pitbull , will be nice to own my own prison dog, in La Joya one of the guys owns one called Marina. 

There will be plenty of food for the dog as most times the prison food is always thrown away, the only time you see people hustle for prison food is when we have Pork Chops, beef and dried fried chicken, other than that they only come when they feel like. So my dog will have more than enough, just as the cats here does.

We had an early night as nobody was in the mood for any movie during or after dinner. Hope things changes.

Friday, 23……….

Early shift today, up and got my BF, Jer and Pepe left for school and Agent to work on the street on the Meduca project. Back to bed, lay a bit but can´t sleep until heard my name, guess from Luis (Ton Tin) my lil friend, the tattoo addict. Got up but ignored his call.

Ramses; was once in our cell, until he had brawl with Manni, fought Manni and broke his ribs, but Jer asked him to leave. From what I heard, most of the kids who now frequent our cell came there because of Ramses; he was friendly with them and always smokes pot with them. But since he´s gone, they haven´t stop coming, he came in and made pancake; the American style, had some with coffee. And left for the library, Mike brought some Moonshine from Terence and we got it for our cell.

The Library was closed, back in with Mike and Terence, learnt from Jer that Terence is a good Moonshine brewer, asked him what he made it from, just the basic ingredients; yeast, oats, sugar and water. Hope it will be okay to help calm our nerves.

Too bad as the library is closed, I´m severely behind on my blogs, the zuma players won´t give me any chance to use the system and do my writing. Hope I get my Laptop soon and stay off the lib.

The activities in the centre were on, music and friends and family were invited. Mike and I finally got into the library. Opportunity to do some work since all the gamers were out, either looking at other´s girlfriends or just hanging displaying their new Nike trainers or pair of Jeans.

Mike and I talked loads, said he was diagnosed with ADHD; that is why he is sometimes slow, well told him, he is slow because of the pot he smokes everyday.  I told him to use the slow pc as that will be on the same tempo as he brain…. lol.

Jer´s boy Enrique who was Fabio’s mate but asked Fabio to leave when Fabio stopped cooking for him and his buddies, now sells anything that Jer cooks from the school. Wonder what kitchen is doing up in a prison school, no wonder food is one the main concern of everyone here. Guess their going to school is to make money from what they can get from there, either fruits or cook to sell.

Jer came back from school with Pepper; guess they have a vegetable garden up there, back in and Felix one of the rude guy here and fiercest among them, being on me to give him a new Bike party with girls on it, since it was on my USB, wouldn´t want to hear stories, I refused giving him, but asked Andorra to copy into a cd for him, well, guess he has been thinking of me. Came on me and told me he is not my friend, well how I wish he meant that and stay off my cell, he was angry, but thank God as Andorra finally did it and I gave it to him, well even Andorra knows how they act, told me to be careful with him. Hope he stays off and doesn´t come back for anything.

Stayed off the guys in Anexo, most of them are locked up there, I guess as punishment for being mouthy with the wardens. Schat and I spoke and text about loads today, the kids are doing fine, but missing me as much as I miss them too.

So hot today, thank God Manni got ice, made some juice later that evening as we had fish for Dinner.

Watch some movies and had a long night reading and offloading my mind in thoughts. Hope this episode of my life here will end soon. Thank God for another day well spent without issues.

Saturday, 24……………..

Up to find my BF on the Table, Billy had done this before, but decided to snub him this time as I now know what his problems are.  Back to bed till late, Pabellion were out all day, so we were locked up in our area.

Finally up, got eggs from Javier; whom I first met at La Joya, who was brought here along with others in the Rayo Montaño case; the first Black Colombian Drug lord. Made pancake, European way, not like Jer does, made enough for everyone, except Pepe who was out in the Gym working weights. Lately he has become addicted to gym, spends all day in the gym, at his age he is so muscular that sometimes he finds it hard to pull of his T shirts, I have to help him do that. Well, as a friend and concerned cell mate, I have advice him to slow down and do bit of walking and jogging as most of the old guys here do. But he won´t listen, I hope he doesn´t drop down one day here.

Swept the cell today and stayed in most of the day, while sweeping Jer found an underwear under his bed, it was agents, that dude is so dirty, guess the Yanks really messed up his head. Well, I hope his lawyer wins the $10M case against the American Govt for unlawful arrest and detaining him for 4 years without reasons and moreover for mashing up his head.

 Hugo my Crack head body who has been lockup in Anexo, guess for stealing or violence after his dope session which he can´t handle. He has been calling me and sending people to get me, ignored him. Finally met him, and Lucho was also there, rarely talks, but as I heard, he is a bad boy to the core. Nothing for them as I told them, yo soy limpio… bloody and fcuking cleaned. Their faces didn´t look too cool as they need dough for their dope for the evening. Wondered why they locked Hugo up when he can still get his dope and continue with what he does better.

Spoke with Schat and the kids, Jessie been playing loads and learning new songs with her keyboard. She wants to be on Television, asked her if she wants to sing on TV, she said she wants to play her piano, that´s nice as she knows what she will like to do.  Ekan is now playing football with his uncle, but he is not too keen on that, he prefers Racing Cars and Monster trucks, actually wants he a big one which he can sit in and drive on the road, had been wondering where he saw Monster trucks on the road that he now wants one. Well, told him, he will get one when I´m back home. Maybe will take him to one of those Monster trucks shows. He won´t contain his joy, love them loads and missing them like the desert miss the rain.

Ernesto got Iguana from one the lads, hell no reptile in the cell, was cooking when it drop on me from where he hung it, almost freak out. Many had been caught when they came out to drink from the tap and water around the centre.

Fox, the tallest guy here was haggling people to buy a television, wondered where he got that from. He was cursing as nobody wants to buy. Buying things from these guys is like buying stolen items from the streets, most of the stuffs are hot as they are stolen from other people. So buying them could easily get one into trouble, so I tried to refrained myself from buying things from them.

Diaz, one of the meanest warden asked me for my phone, said he wants to make a call, well guess he just want to see if I´m still using the old one or have gotten a new one. Gave him and seeing it was still the old one, handed it back to me.

Made the another Curry/coconut sauce with our Octopus, guess that is the last, the warden who ate the first time Jer made Octopus came for some, he loved it. The last time Jer cooked it, the next day they brought him ingredients to cook for them, wondered what they had in mind. Guess they should come for cooking lesson session with us and learn how to cook healthy and yummy food.

Watched some films and did some reading all night, glad that nobody complains about light as Manni and I always stay up reading with our lights on all night. That just one good thing about our cell.

Sunday, 25………………

I´m officially Seven Months old in detention in Panama Penitentiary system, surprise how time flies, so fast and one can remember vividly every bit of what happened and took place on the first day.

Swept the cell, and Manni mopped the floor, guess much better than putting all things out to wash the whole floor. Out for walk and did some weights, Pepe still doing weights wonder when he will stop, hope not until he drops.

Rained all day and very heavy, that´s how it rains here, heavy for a while and an abrupt stop, hope it cools down the heat of the sun. But it remained very hot; guess the rain only brought more heat.

Got some groceries, so also Manni and the guy who nicked my tank came in when he saw the bags brought in, he was eyeing one my new tops that Schat sent, this time, I washed and hangs them in the cell to dry, don´t care how long it takes to dry up, I will wait till they dry up.

Schat and I spoke, great that she makes out the time to call me, she gets some free minutes with her network to call international. And loads of sms too, this really helps me as I think less of the situation here.

We had Pasta and chicken for Dinner, not bad as we still eat together, not too many people in their cell do that, the most cook and eat apart, that can be very bad as things will be stolen. Well guess, ours is just because Manni and I do most of the buying, with Jer doing bits as he is about leaving. Ernesto; wonder what his mum thinks of him, she rarely visit him, and when she sent him groceries, he gets something like 2 Onions, 2 Beets, 150gm of Powder Milk, a loaf of bread, 500gm of Sugar, 2 carrots, 2 green sweet pepper. Well I wonder how she expect him to live on that till the next time she will see him or send him same things. Lately I make sure I buy what I want to eat and not what I want everyone to eat.

Had our Dinner and watched Ross Kemp on Gangs, guess whole of Central America is all about Gangs, Guns and Gangs, even the governments in these areas are more concerned and interested in incarceration than in rehabilitation of these youths that are caught in the web of these lifestyle and gang life. In one recent article, the Panamanian Government talked about building a Penal City; one that will have jails, court and the whole penitentiary system in one big area. What a splendid idea, not thinking of how to solve the surging number of crime and homicide which is largely committed by teenagers. They are thinking of building more Prison. Good for them!!!!

Roll off to my dreamland and which I will wake up in my bed back home…………….

Another week has come and gone and all ended well, the lid is still tight, hope the pressure will be kept at minimum as to avoid eruptions.