Tales from El Renacer


Monday 5th of April through Sunday the 11th of April 2010.

Monday 5th April……

The Easter break has ended and hope things will get back to normal, as the offices will be functioning. Agent got BF, in till Billy came cursing or calling don`t know which. He`s kiwi and like his English mates, they used loads of profane words, well if he doesn`t like doing the job he should simply tender in his resignation. He brought same thing which was served for the normal BF, well mine is suppose to be diet BF, but if it`s same thing as the normal one why bother bringing at all. And the midget Colombian who stocks up the left over is mad at me because I`m on diet, he wouldn`t understand, thus never want to give me my portion from the normal BF, he always insist that I have to wait for Billy who sometimes comes around 8am. Got it and back to bed….

Billy the kiwi has been here for more than 4 years, he is an old guy and unlucky to be from New Zealand which doesn`t have repatriation pact with Panama, so he has to do his full time, he was given a 6-year sentence and luckily has been working which will reduce the remaining 2 years in half. Here in panama once you are working and schooling one get a reduced term, but the problem is foreigners don`t get the chance to work here as most of the jobs are taken by the Panamanians and most foreigners are not interested in the school thing as they have to pay. But most of the European countries has repatriation pact with Panama, so most count on that they won`t be doing the full time here in Panama. I hope I don`t get to do my full time here as it will be mind breaking and can turn a normal person berserk. Back in La Joya where I was on transit before coming here, met this Jamaican who was a British resident and has his family there, was given 6 years for importing marijuana into panama, just a key of joint, which is nothing in most places. He’s been there for 3 years and from what I see and what people say of him, he is gone loco, talks to himself and write loads of stuff on  pieces of papers, calls the world Babylon, heard one time he fought with his lawyer. He will probably do his full time since his country don`t have repat pact with Panama and the Brit ain`t ready to help him, despite the fact that he has kids and a wife there who are all Brits.

Back home, I guess it will be Easter Monday and it`s likely going to be a public Holiday, but here, life starts today and offices and Business are back in form.

On late shift, so didn`t bother getting up not until the dominoes players started playing close to my bed, got up and sent a text to my lawyer, been expecting him since Wednesday last week. Hope he come today, he finally called that he will come before noon and also asking for my list again, text Schat to email the list to him again as I don`t have access to email at that moment. But she was in the Hospital for an impromptu check up, women they really go through loads during the night months, guess that`s why we have so many Mother`s songs and none for fathers except such as Papa was a Rolling Stone, Papa got a brand new bag, but never the Thank you ones, but they seems to forget who hustle for bread to be laid on the table, like Chris Rock said in one of his HBO comedy, all that Daddy gets is the ‘Big Piece of chicken’.

While busy with working out in the cell with the bar on the ceiling, was called that my Embassy is around, hummm, she knows how to surprise us, I guess she always show at the right time, and her coming will save many of the guys as most are on red. Had my shower and out, guess the Custodios will be on alert as this is our pay day, also this was my day as I was getting loads of things from Schat; Books and other things that will keep me busy while I`m here. We had talks about life and how our process are going on, happy that things are on the positive as some stages has been concluded, yet more stages to go. I hope the snail speed system in Panama will get a bit faster. We also talk about getting my radio in and also a permit for my laptop as I will be continuing with my studies now. I hope the Director will get to sign them.

Got loads of books, the guys here don`t like books, the sheer sight of books frighten them, so I made sure that I came in with loads of them. Many knew we had our visit from the embassy as they always stand by the wire fence and watch all that happens outside the visit area. It`s just pure waste of time, standing and watching people doing their things when you could use the time for yourself or sleep and get lost in dreamland. But this lads, they just love watching so when you get in, they know what to ask from you. Seeing me with cartons filled with books, they just couldn`t say a word, not even to help me. Back in my cell, sort the things out, find out my hard disk was missing; loads gone with it and I know it was stolen by the Panamanian Customs, the pack left London via Miami and then panama, it stayed at the Customs for couple of days, guess that`s where some dope head Panamanian  custom decided to nick it. Hope he enjoys all my Uni work and music. Every other thing came in intact.

While busy sorting things out, Cadil my little friend, who walks like he is superman or incredible Hulk came in and offered to sell us Chicha Fuerte (that`s local name the Panamanians call the prison brew) Moonshine, told him no and he left with his brew. He`s actually the lad that wanted a fight with one of the trouble maker in the galleria, how I wish they allowed him beat the big fool, whose major preoccupation here is food; remembered when I first came in here, he told me he`s got 4lbs of beef, well thought it was fresh beef, told him to get it, this dude came with 4 portion of his cooked meals he sells, and it was sausages with rice, told him I`m not buying, he just wouldn`t leave my cell, held the plate and stared at me and my mates. He kept on saying that I told him I was going to buy it, told him he said something different but came with something else. He finally left and I was given a low down of the dude by my mates. He made a mistake by slapping Cadil, though he may look very small, but he`s got loads of guts and was quick to get hold of knife to dissect that fat fool. But he was stopped by sympathizers who knew what he can do despite his smallness. He went away burying the knife where it came from. Abracadabra and knife comes out and shoooo it´s gone back into nowhere. Asi esta vida !!!

Was so sad as my hard disk wasn`t there…. don`t know what to think, just knew it`s gone. To the library to sort the out the files on the USB flash stick, Schat did a good job in loading up loads of my files unto the flash drive and a mega 16GB, which will be useful for a while. Talked with Schat and she promised to call the courier company, guess the most they will do will be to compensate, but what about all the data`s and file lost? Guess nothing they can do about that.

Despite my trying to dodge them, the lads were still on me for money, they don`t asked much, but when you start giving out a dollar to different people, it all adds up before you realize, you have become Salvation Army, doling out to the never ending line of beggars. Five people and that`s bloody 5 bucks gone and that`s a much more amount that they will kill someone here. So I stick to my NO…. Yo no tengo, told them that my Embassy only brought me toiletries and books.

The rules here, which Jesus always break; never give money in the presence of these loonies and never take money from anyone in their presence or pay for goods or services in their presence as they will see you with that money and will come to beg, not knowing or thinking if that was your last change. But Jesus never listen, he always breaks that one golden rule.

Well, the day went pretty fast and we end as normal, the custodios knows that our embassy was here and they will be out looking for money from us.

Had our dinner and spent the evening reading through all that was sent, Jessie made me some nice cards and they were beautiful cards with her own decorations. How I missed them, got new pictures of them, they`ve grown so big. Well, the rest of the night was in thoughts of life and what next………..

Tuesday 6th………….

Picked up BF and back to sleep until Billy came calling, don`t know why they don`t just do the two at the same time. Dressed up for my workout, call my consulate about the hard drive, if they mistakenly left it behind, well nowhere to be found, it was gone and gone for good. Was angry, but that won`t solve nothing, it’s gone and gone.

Called my lawyer, who said he will be coming, well I don`t know what to say of him, but I think I almost forgot that he is a lawyer and most if not all Lawyers are Liars as they need to be that to function properly in their field of occupation.

Manni and I had a slight argument over the phone that is not coming, hope they come soon so that the tension between us will die off. Met Andorra our cyber man and tattooist, talked to him about his contact with schools in panama and how they can help me when I have to put in for exams if I can sit for them there. He will make calls, but said he is very busy with loads now. Hope he makes out the time.

To the library, to do bit and pieces, was shocked to see one of the lads in the galleria, Chapo; got his name tattooed on his shoulder, well I don`t know what these loonies think of tattoos , I always thought you get tattoos and they should be like puzzles, people should wonder what they mean or what significance they have in your life. But here, once you see their tattoos you know what they are all about.

So surprised how many of them have their names tattooed on their bodies; guess their friends after some dope sessions keep forgetting their names, they just decided to get their names on their bodies so they won`t forget or maybe they are just so much in love with themselves. One has ELIZABETH MI MADRE tattooed on his chest and also Ely mi Madre, well we know he loves his mum, but never listen to her about not killing people. And getting 2 damn tattoos done and telling us who they are for is just too appalling, guess he would`ve left it for people to guess and ask question who Elizabeth is or was… well, I know most of their names by the tattoos on their bodies. At least it has saved me the time to start memorizing names as most uses nick names here, but their real names are written somewhere on their bodies. Cool.

Well back to Chapo, he was Santos right hand man, our Scarface who got into fight with the minors and was slashed on the face and finally escaped to live on the run maybe for the remaining years of his life, chapo is one of the good looking lad here, when I mean good looking, he dresses smart and got a Prada short and always a fresh air cut every week. Always with clean Trainers and always looking chapo (sharp), but the he can`t write a word in Spanish. Was shocked when I saw him in the library telling one of the Spaniards what to write for him on his permission letter. Guess what a waste of space he is here, well, not just him alone. Many are like him but they are not ready to make use of the school programme made available by the penitentiary system and learn Spanish. Good for them as most will end up coming back to this sh*t place.

One of the lads that wanted to get into a fight with the colon lad and actually brought his knife (the last one that I saw with a really big and new massive knife that will make Rambo `s a child play thing), was studying in the library and asked me to help him, was surprised when he asked me to help him with his English test, was more than surprised to see his handwriting, pretty good, but then wondered why he acts like the others. We talked and he told me he`s actually studying Bus. Admin Marine time course in one of the Universities, the English module was part of his study. Helped him and I knew my workout for that day is gone, Pedro our Peado and the English teacher in the centre who love getting on our nerves; Manni and I, came up and said he will help him, well it didn`t went well as I knew he was giving him the wrong answers which he made him believe were right. Well, one particular question we argued, had to called Manni in being a born English speaker, but was shocked that Manni also said that in a way Pedro answer was right and that the teacher who set the question was wrong, well told the guy what I said and I believe it makes sense with the rest of the sentence……..  but when Jerry came back with the real answer I was right and he got me a soda as he wants me to be helping him with other of his assignments. Hope I make out the time for him as I am also busy.

Hope this programme will help him with his time here, in the library did some little work on my blog and bit of reading.

Back in as I didn`t work out today, one of the lad came up rubbing is belly, that is hungry and need a dollar, well that is his trademark, belly rubbing and begging for a dollar as if that will get him enough food to fill his belly, I know where the dollar will end up; buying dope for the night. Told him I ain`t got none and he made mention of my embassy coming yesterday, said yes, but I only got books. He left with a heavy face as the gate will be closed on him and the Custodios won`t take it lightly with him.

Went for my shower and back in, tried to read a bit while Jer was cooking, but fell asleep, was awoken by Pepe our old banker when food was ready. Had our dinner and watch some good movies and listen to music all night. Did bit of reading before dozing off…. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday 7th of April….

Up to use the loo and back to my bed, just lay there as I heard the BF guys, someone picked up the BF. Billy finally came with mine, got it and got ready for my daily workout; well the workout has become a daily routine thing, and do loads of walking and jogging and some days light weights. Most of the guys here uses enhancements and supplements to help them, but I want to stay natural till I have loosen enough weights, maybe then I will start with natural Protein stuffs. But no steroids as I have seen one of the guys here who uses that losing his Little john, it has shrink in size, I guess due to some of the steroids he uses. Well he should have checked online for side effects of those things.

Schat text and later called, she made contact with the courier company over the missing hard disk, they promised to start an investigation which I doubt will lead to anywhere. It`s gone and gone for good. Out for my workout when Hugo my dope head buddy who has been locked up for weeks now in Anexo, for whatever crime he must have committed which I have no clue of and nobody will tell you. Met him, since he`s constantly on lockdown, only open in the evening to have his shower after the rest of the inmates has gone in. He needed cooking oil, gave it to one of his buddy, and also reminded me that adding a dollar to oil won`t be bad, well I would have given him, but wasn`t in the mood. Told him I don`t have, got him the oil and on my way out. Met his former cellmate from Pabellon, he was actually selling BF; which Hugo used to do, wonder if it was continuation of Hugo`s biz or he was just doing his own biz. Wanted me to buy some, declined and told him, I`m going out to work out in the gym.

The new Custodio at the gate won`t let me out, early that morning, Moreno my warden buddy was on duty but he went up and this new guy won`t let me out, he only allowed the Panamanians out, though we were on the late shift, but lately it doesn`t really matter as one can always go out when you want and if the warden (Custodio) at the gate are friendly or on ones payroll.

Carlos alias Millonario, was in a fight with Chepo (one of the big time dealer here, but a very smallish old guy), heard Carlos who has been very depressed since he was stopped from working out with the others after being caught with packs of cigarettes had a stick and when the verbal confrontation took place, he must have mistakenly hit Chepo and right besides his eyes, which bled like a tap, used my handkerchief and ices to keep him cool and cleaned up while we wait for the warden to open the door so he can go up to medical for more care, he was very grateful towards me. Carlos was almost lynched by almost everyone, as they are all tired of lock ups and restrictions that will come on us if any fight comes up and the Director gets to know. Bayo, one of the big guys who with his girl killed another of his girlfriend, beat up Carlos, but we all came in to stop him before he lynches him. The warden finally came and Carlos was taken upstairs and on everyone demands, he should be taken to pabellon.

Back in my cell, listened to some music and had my herbal tea, later workout with the bar in the cell, whoever had that in the cell, did a good job as it has been of great help whenever we are in the cell or locked up. Soon it was noon, out and went to the gym and did some weight until one the wardens came with a paper with names, that our Embassy wants to see us, once I saw the names, I knew it was my contact person from the organisation back home that really help us in many area while here and when we eventually get back home.

When I got in to shower and dressed up, Manni came calling that my Lawyer is also here along with my contact person, well it will be a whole load of busy day for me. Hope everything goes as planned, the radio allowed in, my laptop permit signed and everybody goes home smiling.

When I finally went out and up to the Admin where my lawyer was, it was busy with loads of people, but the two that stood out were the two old men; One is our Colombian Millionaire who bought an Island for 80M and was later seized by the Panamanian government, he was with his young girlfriend lawyer who looks more like a Barbie doll or she should be on the set of one of the colombiam soap running here on TVN; Muñeca de Cartel, she comes each time dressed in the most expensive designer wears one will think of, wonder what she gets to say in court. She doesn`t look like a paralegal and she is his lawyer. Well this is Panama.

Now, another old fellow, seen him in the patio couple of days back, thought was one of the old guys at the infirmary up at the Pabellon, was surprised when he called on my lawyer and sent a message to his boos, the principal head of the firm. Opposite this old man, whom I later found out was an Italian as he spoke with Fabio my friend who was also out to see my lawyer as we share same lawyer. From what I heard that day, the Italian his 65 years and his little girl whom I thought was his daughter but actually his girlfriend, dressed on seven for all Mankind Jeans, Versace T shirt and armed with Luis Vuitton hand bag. Stood and massaged the old dude shoulder while he was busy eating and planted a hot kiss on him. Well he knew her when she was 16 years old and probably nursed her and later married her, now she is 19 years and he is 65, isn`t that cool… well, from what my lawyer told me about him, he is wanted in Italy for having lewd act with minor. Fabio happens to know him, kinda wonder where or how they knew each other, until he told me, that he is a very rich man. Told Fabio why don`t we kidnap him and demand from money…. lol.

Up there, you will know what prison politics is all about, while the rest of us get our visit outside, these two gets theirs just by the door step of the Director, the Colombian guess was having his 3 meals (Breakfast, Lunch and dinner) right there as his Lawyer girlfriend came with loads of food for him, wonder how he will digest all, who knows maybe in one of the fruit juice tetra pack is red wine, you can never tell.

The Old Italian guy was complaining about being robbed by the youths upstairs as the infirmary is located in the Pabellon building, guess he will be paying to live there as the kids are always stealing and will also demand money from him, once they know he has it. Most foreigners who lived up there with them, always have their things stolen even by the cellmates and they will tell you, they don`t know who stole it. Fabio used to live up there, but even his food were stolen by his mates and there was nothing he can do about it, until he finally moved out to Galeria where he is enjoying his ne found freedom at least from the boys upstairs.

Well, on my radio and laptop, they were both turned down as the radio they said was too big and for the laptop, the Director wanted an official letter from the institution that I`m studying, stating that I need the laptop for my studies. Matter of fact, this is the only prison that Laptops are officially allowed as it is a rehabilitation centre, but from what I heard of other prisons, the numbers of laptops  there are more than what we have here. The new Brit who came from La Joyita, said up there, they have more than we have here and they even get more pissed from real drink than we get from our moonshine here and cigarettes are brought in by cartons by the police and wardens. Well, even in the real world, make anything illegal and people will get rich by trading on it, but legalize it and put them out of business, just like it`s done in my country, Grass is legalized, thus making it useless if you are trading on it within the borders of the country, but if you get it out, then you can make money as it is illegal in the other countries.

We did all we could to get the radio in, even my contact person came up, but the director bluntly turned it down, saying it`s too big and moreover the order was from above. Then my lawyer told me he has seen how things works here, that it will be nice if I try Plan M, kinda what plan M means, as I have only tried plan B now, since plan A; having Jesus and his people bring it in with the permit and now this other plan…. wonder what plan M will be, thought of plan C. Whatever he meant, I resolved to talk with one of the wardens and he agreed to bring it in, but said, it won`t be too soon as it`s tensed up here in the centre. Hope he does. Got my groceries from my Lawyer and he left as he was very hungry, next time she should come with a bag of KFC as most lawyers do.

Carlos was up there, begging me for Money instead of thinking about his fate and his new mates up at Pabellon if they will welcome him. Asked for my Flip-flop as he was taken away without shoes and he never had one, I have just one as the other was nicked by some dope head. Told him, I have sent someone to get mine, but I lied, can`t give him mine.

My meeting with my contact person went very fine and really uplifting as we talked and discussed about so many things, she tries to keep us optimistic about life here. I know she can`t do much, but just going out and talked about ones problem to someone who cares to listen and also understands is such a big relieve to one`s soul and moreover having a good laugh not like the laugh here in the centre, sometimes you are forced to laugh just to pleased them or get them walking. I guess, since my incarceration, the only few people I have had proper and reasonable conversation are Johnny an American Vietnam Veteran; the real Gringo Loco in La Joya who is in for lewd acts with minor after his ex-Panamanian wife in American called the Authorities here that he is living with a Minor, well according to him, she was 18 years old and he is 60+.  The others are Manni, though sometimes we argue but good arguments, my lawyer, Mark the Old Canadian in Anexo, and Tony the Jamaican in La Joya. The others ain`t got nothing to tell you apart from Bullets and killing or wanting money or using your phone to talk to their girlfriends.

After my meeting, she gave me herbal tea which has been very good, but since we are out of normal tea, my mates has been using mine, kinda made them understand, that I need my tea due to my medical condition, hope they stay off the m, well nothing I can do as I can`t be walking around with tea. Also got dark chocolate some current editions of The Economist; read some of the articles later that night and they were nice as one get to know what is really happening in the real world as we rarely get much of world news on Panama TV.

Back in, had made sure than Jer took all the groceries my lawyer brought so I will avoid the youths and it works. But that deterred some from meeting me in my cell to ask for money. Like I have said, I really want to be blunt on these guys as I will end up not having money to meet my needs if I keep giving them money. I said No, but they don`t take that lightly and leave without saying some stupid words like we don`t give them anything as if they give.

Well, the day ended with our dinner and me making my wonder juice, this time with more Mango as we entering the mango season, guess we are blessed to have loads of fruit bearing trees around the centre.

That evening, spent time reading the magazine we always get from a Christian Organisation back home, The Editorial was about time “Doing Time” as the Americans call it, time is quit different when one is locked up, difficult to take control of it and each new day is same as the previous and may be the same as the next. You are the one  to make use of the time, one may think that while behind the walls of any prison, you got the time to do all you need do, but that`s a big lie, losing weight? I have seen many guys walked out of the gate of this place so big and massive that they barely could move, all from eating and sleeping and doing nothing. Well, prison is believed to be a place that should change people for good, but I doubt that, as many of the boys here, once they get in, gotta belong or you will become the next victim of what they started on the streets, most leave here with assignments to do things and others to continue from where they left when they were arrested. Well, the foreigners who are mostly dope head, guess are happy to be here as they have their doses served on platter for them. But most live in fear and always pleasing the Panamanians as they are the ones who call the shorts and control things here. Then the other is to remain neutral as I do no alliance to any group.

So much wrangling is going on back home on the political front, the govt wanting to downsize the numbers of Embassies and consulates abroad as we`ve got too much compare to most countries within the EU and also talks about reducing the number of visits detainees get; these he said on making them more efficient and resourceful. Well that they will with focus where visit or physical presence are more needed and also with considerations to the condition of the detainees. The Foreign Affairs minister who is actually in charge with dealing with all things to do with detainees in his interview made some positive points which made me believe though we are a small nation but we really care more about our citizens than most so called great nations; guess caring for your citizens should be an all-round thing no matter what circumstances they find themselves.

Was a good read and gives me some optimistic view of what will happen in the future.

Slept off and set the music on some old Motown classics…. drift into another dreamland world where it could also be edgy……but up to read….

Wednesday 8th April……

Up doing some reading till the wee hours before dozing off to sleep. Agent or Pepe picked up the BF. Finally got up, dressed up for workout, Jerry came up with his English assignment, told him around 3pm as I will be done with all my activities.

Sneaked out as one of the custodio opened up for the workers, was early, enjoyed the early morning sun, guess will be getting loads of the D vitamin, they should call it vitamin sun. Well, did my routine and finally got to the library and Jerry came along did helped him, but Pedro the Peado came back to disturb, well Jerry just kept his cool and allowed him did all he wanted to do, I did same, after he left, I took up from where I stopped. Coming to think of Jerry, he seems to be from a responsible home and probably must have had a good education, but seeing with that Knife sort of painted a different picture of him. Well, I think he is Panamanian and understand the system more than I do, I guess we are becoming buddies now. Helped him, when I asked him why he didn`t take what Pedro told him, he said, most that Pedro had helped with in the past, he failed most. But was happy with wat I have been doing for him so far.

One of the lads from Pabellon was on one of the PC but just couldn`t figure out why the monitor screen turn black when he wanted to play zuma, in frustration he left, quickly got it and found out the cable were loosen. Tighten it and made use of it for a while until my country bloke who is one of the big and oldest addict of the Zuma game came by, well didn`t budged, he left a bit angry saying he thought my laptop was brought during the embassy`s visit. Stayed through closing time and out for some more work out. Before ending in for shower and ends the day as it was lockup time.

Had our dinner and did some reading, lately Pepe our old Banker has been supplying me with News papers sometimes we get the day`s others some days old, well how he gets them is astonishing. Our Banker will be 63 soon, but he looks fitter than any of the old folk here, pumps up his muscles everyday and always kept his grey hair dark, moustache well trimmed. Well I guess all these for the Female custodio who give him newspapers everyday. Guess he needs that to keep him going. I`m his right hand man in the cell, actually his kids don`t know where he is, they simply thinks he is away on one if long trips, he`s got kids who are uniformed personnel in Panama. Hope this will be his last spell and doing time, so also me.

Buenos Noche…… Hope I didn’t say Ocho….lol xxx

Friday, 9th April 2010…..

Picked up BF and back to sleep, until Billy the Kiwi came calling with his Diet BF, well he came to the door and before I could get to him he has left, not knowing he dropped my BF on the table, who is his right mind will do that, how dirty things could be here. Well rushed out after him and asked him for my food, he lashed out at me that it`s n the table and screamed at me, turn my back and gave him the middle fingers from both hands, he was mad and could hear him lashing and shouting. Guess he has made me got up on the wrong side today. Gotta be careful, well according to Manni, Billy who has been here for a while ahs seen many people came and leave, since his country doesn`t have any repatriation pact with Panama, he will eventually do his full time, so his been taking his anger on everybody, I guess mostly we the foreigners as he won`t dare do that to the Panamanians who will put him where he belongs.

Finally got out for my workout, and also to make calls as I had international call card, called home, nobody was home, guess Jessie has gone for her swimming lessons, while my son will still be at the Nursery and Schat will probably by at work.

Got back in, but found out that Manni locked the cell without checking for the keys, while waiting for Jer to come back from school use the time to work out, heard from Ernesto that Billy has a copy of the key, wonder why he has a copy to our key when he doesn`t live in our cell, Jer later said he gave him as his former inmates kept losing theirs. He got the one from Jer and open the cell, after search and we couldn`t find anything, Jer finally found it in the small store outside where he dropped it.

Out in the centre, we were having a musical event, some of the lads will be singing, the inmates were allowed to invites families or friends in, but all entrance to the cells were locked as they want anything silly happening, since there will be girlfriends around.

Had met Bin Laden who supplies me with peas, told me that summer is finish won`t be getting anymore, hope I get someone who will be buying me vegetables from outside without duping me.

Did my workout in the cell while the event went on outside in the patio, had my shower and stayed in to do some reading. Finally went out and make more calls, was able to get the kids and Schat also, they were so happy to hear my voice, my son is in love with racing cars, as he sleeps with them, but Schat always take them off him as  it could be dangerous sleeping with hard toys. He also loves Monster trucks, my time we didn`t have those, we had to make ours.

We had fish for dinner and I made proper mango juice which we all like it, a friend called, but promised calling back, knew he won`t call. Well don`t need his call now.

Prison talks and jokes as the night draws in on us, hope the raining season will come soon as it`s getting hotter and hotter each night. If the doors are opened, I know many will rush out for another shower.

Spend the night reading and thinking as this is one important thing that must take place in one`s life while here. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………..

Saturday, 10th April…………..

Heard The BF guys, didn`t bother to get up, someone picked it up. Back to sleep until I opened my eyes  and found half of the cell empty, got up as Jer and others were still sleeping, well if there will be cleaning, it`s always initiated by Jer or me, but he was sleeping so also others except Pepe and Agent. Tried waking Jer, but he was deep in sleep, when I went out saw our stuffs outside, then I knew someone was busy with cleaning. It was Pepe and Agent, well, after the talk by Jer, guess things are taking a different turn now. When Pepe saw me, he asked for soap, I told him, there won`t be need for a real washing of the cell as we did that on 1st of April.

Helped them and we ended up mopping the cell, Jer was surprised, but it was a good feelings, hope next cleaning will be initiated or done by Manni or Ernesto as I`m not ready to do nada…

After the cleaning, had my hair cut by my country bloke, the hair cut is always a dollar and if you want your beard trim, then 25 cents or 50 cents, so with a one dollar, fifty cents or less you have a good look as those on the streets. One thing I fear most here is infection as he has only one clipper and I don`t know if he ever sterilizes it, had hope Schat will send me clipper, but she ended up sending the boxing gloves which took lots of space in the box; that I will talk about much later. Had my shower, guess that will help the body cool down as the heat is getting hotter and hotter.

My old Indian chief kept to his promise to me that he will supply me with sea food, he was once a representative from the Native Indians to the Panama parliament; the Native Indians were the original habitant of most part of south America before the Spanish conquest and then other Europeans and slaves were brought in to work. And they successfully pushed the Native Indians into the jungle, here in Panama; they have their own rules, and are still ruled by chiefs or they kinda run a monarchy form of Government with the chief controlling all and when I mean all, like Johnny once said, he went to the Indian settlement to get him a nice Indian girl, the chief demanded he lived with them for a year and learn of their ways, well if getting marry is like that in our world, guess no one will bother to marry. As I won`t bother to spend more than one weekend with my In-laws, though I have good in-laws. Well Johnny didn`t stay and didn`t get no Indian hotties. But I guess he got more than he bargained for, he`s cooling down in La Joya Maximum prison for playing around with minors.

Back to my Indian chief, guess with his position as a govt. elect he decided to use his influence for something else, international trade; trading in what the Colombians produced and the Panamanians distributes, like Manni said, Panama should become a distributing hub for the white thing as it`s always on the news each day of the week. I guess his trading didn`t last long as he ended up in one of the jail and lucky enough, he was sent to Renacer. Nice old guy though, but kept me waiting for too long for my sea food.

Our Chief didn`t get my Lobsters, but Octopus, which was very scary as I have no clue on what to do and get it prepared, thank God for the non stop water that runs in the centre, well, washed and washed but the slime won`t stop, then used all or my lemons, still not working, finally Jer said, gotta boil it for some minutes which I did and the it was good to go. Got it prepare and kept part frozen to be used in the future. We later had octopus sauce that evening. Lately Jer has been doing some cooking outside, hope he doesn`t use up what are meant for our dinner, since each time he cooks, he buddies ends up eating the whole lot.

The Chief promised me more things, Lobsters, Prawn and Fishes as gift as I will become his clients soon.

One of the Warden who savoured the aroma of the food while Jer was cooking, came in for a plate, he loved it as he ate and washed it down with my Ginger based Mango juice (made with real Mango as we are in the mango season). Hope when he sees us with our phones, he remembers that we gave him food when he was hungry. Manni once said that one of the requirements needed to become a Warden is to have a One Pack, all the Wardens here have one pack (Beer Belly), they are always munching something in their mouths and drinking soda which most of us buy for them, as at one point in time food are been prepared by someone in the centre. Food seems to be what is keeping most of the guys going apart from dope and grass. It´s like they are being locked up here to eat, smoke and dope!!!

 My country bloke had the laptop from Perla, thought he will give it to me, but I didn`t get it as Perla took it off him while I was probably busy in the cell, after helping him with installation of software to help with music downloads and also to get free online TV as Real Madrid and F.C Barcelona were playing, he was so glad to have it live as it was only on radio in the centre.

Spoke with Schat and we talked a great deal, since she`s got the pox, she is been home and I guess that has also been nice for the kid, mostly my lil boy who is so attached to her, hope he knows someone else is coming to take over his place as the baby of the house. Missing them loads….

We had our dinner, it was lovely and nice, the only thing missing was a glass of white wine, well guess when things normalise in the centre, such luxury can be taken care of, though the Italian guys got their way of getting pissed every night with good drinks and not just the moonshine from the centre, who knows how they get theirs in. They are always smiling in their cell even when there`s nothing to smile about.

The night ended with our talks and jokes, Pepe our old Banker is working out as if he has a fight coming up, got a surprise for him, won`t tell him until when it arrives. He`s been keeping himself very sharp and neat, he`s 62 and soon to be 63, guess for the female warden upstairs.

Agent work has been taking toll on him, as he comes back knackered and sleeps off even before you count 5; I guess he should take some time off.

Spent the night reading The Economist and some of the magazines from back home, nice read as one get to know what is happening out there in the real world. …….

Sunday 11th April……………

Early as I picked up BF, dressed up for my workout, did some walking with Martinelli; he is one of the old guys here and in my former cell with my other country blokes, nice old man, playing a part in Manni´s film and a good business man also. Knows how to make money in jail, well was surprised that he also does Diablo, so I´m made to believe that everyone here except the ones in my cell and maybe few others I know don´t do it. But he´s a nice guy, we walk for more than an hour and I later jogged after he left. Did some weights in the gym, Fabio one of the lads in Galleria joined me; he always wanted to be closed to me, once gave me a movie feat. The Game, guess someone nicked the disc from my cell, if it was other guys, it would have been a hell of war, but he seems to be a cool guy, always wanting to know something in English.

We talked about ourselves and what brought us here, guess by now, they all should know that no foreigners comes here for Homicide or murder, it´s always for International Trade, so must of us ain´t that dangerous as per stashing knives. But many are hook on the things there were once trading on. Like it´s said in one film: Never get high on your own supply!!! Many had ran into debts and had to be taken out from amongst us for their safety.

Fabio, a nice  guy is in for homicide, sold his Pick up truck and the dude refused to pay him, and along the line, the dude was found cold dead; another one bites the dust!!!, he was charged for the dude´s death. Guess in my world, our client are the king, we don´t just go killing our clients, but here anything goes.

I felt very better now as i´m working out and can also run, though my back still aches, but I can manage with that.

Now I know why some bumps back home, that always hung around the station, whenever they disappeared or taken in and done some time. When next I see them, they all look freshen up, but that looks don´t last as they get back on their binge drinking and more dopes.

Back in and cleaned up, shower and Jesus finally came, now he´s gotten permission to go out every Sunday, nice as he said he will be going home for good in couple of weeks or so, I hope he stays in touch as he is the only person we trust and can deal with here. Others wants to used and abused you, knowing that you can´t do nothing. Like the two lads whom I thought were nice guys, used Mike to get money from me, happy that I disturbed Mike and he got me part of it, and promised to pay the other fiver.

One of the wardens met me in my cell, guess needed some benjamins, but his buddy who is always on his ass came in, so he couldn´t asked. I remembered when I changed my cell, it wa so fast, the same guy did the transfer,  and the same buddy came asking if I paid to moved, told him no, like they said… No Honour among thieves!!!, these guys don´t trust themselves talkless of trusting us the cons. But the good thing we do get along. Scratch my back and I scratch yours system..

Perla finally came with the laptop, but it was not in good working condition, as he´s installed illegal OS and even the Office packet was illegal, guess Microsoft planted a bug that disable all functions, once you are on any windows programs, the keybaord won´t work, so had to get other browser to run and was able to use it, he left it saying I can have it till noon on Monday, but i won´t be as one of the Wardens just told me I will be having commission or an appointment on Monday morning, guess Manni will use it, and that was what happened.

It was today that Schat and I talked about the content of the package she sent on Manni´s name via the Brits Consulate; she sent my Boxing gloves, well I wonder what they will think of Manni, he has no looks of a boxer, Guess Ana the Asst Consul will be talking to him from a distance when she comes here with the stuffs. Guess now we will need a punch bag as we have gloves. Maybe it will be a gift to Pepe our old banker who is a boxing addict, he will love it.

Jer cooked, guess he does all the cooking as he probably doesn´t trust anybody to cook, don´t really mind as I´m okay making my juice whenever I have my ingredients. Manni does pasta with Frankfurters and I sometimes cook when Jer is bored or in one of his mood, guess as he will be going soon, he is really waiting for that day, but it´s kinda taking too long for the day to come.

Stayed through on night working online and also battling with Microsoft as they mashed up the machine, but it was fine as i was able to work online. I wonder how my appointment will be the next day, guess I will sleep all the way to the city.

Through all night till BF and the doors were opened on the morning of Monday the 12th……….


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