Life in Prison


Monday the 12th through Sunday the 18th of April 2010.

Up all night as I had the laptop, finally left for my appointment, with chains and fetters, one look like one of those Americans on death row. The driver and my police escort were nice guys; they were the ones who took me out before. But I slept all the way to the city, only waking up when the car bumps on the road.

Had thought I´m going for medical check-up as I was told of this appointment the same day they informed me of my statement´s appointment, but it was a different kind of medical, I was going to meet a shrink, got there and at the hold up (A cage like cell), so tired as I didn´t sleep, slept for a while only to wake up to the sound of people laughing and talking. Outside of my cage where my cop escort was, was another female cop with a female inmate from The Femenino (The Women prison).  She was so good looking and her escort didn´t mind as my escort flirted with her, took some picx of her as they chatted and played.

My police escort seems to know the girl very well as they chat and she even grabbed him on his P part, the dude had to go to the loo to get himself straighten up. More people joined us, one adult from La Joya and two young lads from the juvenile prison, when we chatted, was shocked on how the human rights of this country is so bad and one sided. One of the youths from the Juvenile Prison was 16 years old of age, was locked up when he was 13 years (locked up for attempted robbery) and the other was 18 years of age, locked up when he was 14 years (for Homicide). I can´t believe a country will want to waste the lives of their youths, I guess the poor ones are those that suffer, as there is no law or justice for the poor in panama or most of the Latino American countries. When their escorts told me about them and that there are many like them in the centre, was left dumb-founded as I thought of my kids and my world, if at 13 years my kids does anything bad, I guess I should be held responsible as they neither know right from wrong.

I can´t just believe why on earth the childhood of these kids should be taken away from them and destroyed, believing by locking them up they will change. All the lads in my centre were once in the Juvenile centre and they all re-offended and were brought in again, this time as gang members and ready to do anything for honour. At least I can see from those in my centre that sending kids as young as 12, 13 years into prison with 17 or older youths doesn`t help them. The most trouble and trouble makers in my centre are within the minors. They walked around with knives and are ready to do anything as they believe they`ve got nothing to loose.

Well, at that moment I seems to forget about my own ordeals as I see the this lads and what their future will be, the 18 years one boldly said, when he´s out he´s going to Colombia, well maybe to get his heart harden and who knows what more. I hope someday, the leaders of this country will look down on these ones.

Well, our pretty lass from Femenino wasn´t all that pretty at heart, as I finally got to know from my police escort: she is a Black Widow… guess we know what the Black widow spider does, kill after copulating with her male. According to my escort she is involved in 4 different cases of homicide, she sets men up for her gang to rob and some end murdered. Guess no man will want to go near her, though she looks pretty but damn dangerous and deadly as she is tied to four cases of homicide. She has two kids living with her ex. Hope she is not given access to those kids as she ain´t got nothing good to tell them.

Finally went for my medical review or another round of questioning, guess this time they just want to determine the state of my mind, if I’m loco or normal. Guess I´m normal for now, don´t know how I will be in months or years living with people who seems to be loco but try acting normal.

Had the same guy who always interprets for me, kinda suspecting he is an American agent, well whatever he is, they should get me to court as soon as they can. I hope I have satisfied all they wanted. Well kinda wondered why they spend so much time on we small timers when we have got guys who were caught with a Ton or two of the white thing.

On our way back got another cough syrup and we stopped for brunch, got us chicken and soda, asked them if I can get some beer, well like I said, most of these guys on uniforms ain´t all we thought. At the right place and setting, they will be what they are. We stopped on our way back and I got two cans of Guinness stout that was cool as I had all and ready to go back and get some proper sleep. The driver gave me his number, that if I have things to get from outside, like phone, stoves, cooker or any electrical he can get them for me. Well, wouldn´t think of that, as he doesn´t work here full time.

Back in the centre, surprised as I wasn´t searched when I got back, they just look at the cough syrup and told me to take it to the doctor to verify, walked up to the clinic and down again. Then to my cell, if I had gotten phone or knife, guess I would have brought it in easily. What a big joke this place is and will always be………

Back in, Manni was busy with the laptop, guess I paid for him, well I took over, but didn´t stay up to 5 mins when Perla came for it, gave him and also the link to activate windows 7 which Schat text me. Talk with Schat about the day´s business.

Luis my lil friend from pabellon came for my phone, told me he was calling a number on same network which would have been free, but end up calling a number on a different network, used up all my call credit, was mad at him, well what can I do. Nothing but vowed to ignore him when he comes asking for anything. Took a long nap till evening, well I think the Guinness helped me as I slept despite the noise around my cell and outside by the dominoes players.  

Schat finally text and we chatted a bit before lockup and Manni made pasta as Jer wasn´t ready to cook. 

Had an early night as I was still worn out from the previous night vigil and the effect of the Guinness, sometimes nice to get pissed on the right stuff other than the Moonshine brewed by the boys here, which I think will be very dangerous to one`s health.

Tuesday 13 April……

Someone picked BF, guess they now understand I won`t be picking theirs and mine, since they don`t come at same time. The library was closed, dressed up for workout, did loads of walking and jogging. No weights, but later workout with the bar in the cell, were very satisfying as I felt very good with my body now.

Ramses, who was once in my cell before I came here, but got into fight with Manni and even broke some of his ribs, but now lives in another cell, though he is always part of our cell and always comes in when ever he want. He eats, shyte, smoke and does everything here. He brought in some frozen beef, that we should make something and eat, Ernesto prepared the beef with Plantain and we had it, kept some Jer, it was nice and looks healthy.

Had a short afternoon nap as it was so hot outside that one can feel it in the cells, slept till pass 3pm and up as the day will soon end with lock up.

Leo, our Mexican friend who has become a film producer since Manni invited him to work in his film project told me of how he was also involved with Cara Pony, that he made him some permit, and he handed them in on Saturday and on Sunday the Director was in Cara Pony`s cell to take all his stuffs. Guess that permit and many others will be cancelled.

Helped Jerry with his English exams as it was set for 5.30pm, talked to Moreno who allowed me to stay in Jerry`s cell. When we finished, he checked his result and got 100%, he was so happy, bought me soda and told me I can always get his laptop when I want to. Nice friend, hope he keeps his knife away from me, in his cell, everyone seems to respect him or should I say Fear him as they all know what he can do. We work out together and he uses loads of Mass Protein stuff and other stuffs, so that make him look bigger than his mates. I guess they live together and get along with each other as they all know what each other can do.

When I finally got out, gave Moreno the Warden $2 for his patience and back in my cell, Jer cooked and we had our dinner.

Did some reading before crashing on my bed for the night…

Wednesday 14 April……….

Up reading through the wee hours till I slept, reading Gezant, nice article especially the interview with the Minister of Foreign affairs, guess he is really doing his best to keep people from falling into situation like ours, but still many more will be tempted or make the wrong turns that will land them here.

Up to wee, too bad as our automatic toilet system isn`t working anymore, actually the system wasn`t supposed to be an automatic as it was, it was a malfunction which allows the water to run non stop, but we love it as it takes every downloads straight on, that you don`t even get to see your shyte. But since it stopped, we have to make use of buckets and flush it manually and the worst of all, endure the stink of anybody downloading, especially Pepe our old Banker, who doesn`t eat his AliPrac food on time, always kept his food until its get cold, too bad when he uses the loo. Manni always said we are made to sit through 62 years old fart. Well that`s what happens when you lock up 6 men in one cell. Guess ours is even much better compared to others in the smaller cells where I used to be. I have told Pepe to be eating his food while it`s still warm and not when it`s gone a bit bad.

Slept till Billy came calling for my BF, finally up and had my BF and then shower, listen to music in the cell, Anita Baker and some classic soul, thanks to Schat for the USB and all the files stored in there for me.

Our old frying pan like every other utensils here which are so old that they look like great grand Mother stuffs, well like I said, once anything finds its way into the centre, they don`t go out and that includes Knives and other things. They also do their time, they don`t even get spoilt. Phone chargers which is what is mostly taken during searches are now hidden in fans and other electrical appliances, our centre`s technician who is also an inmates is a specialist in building such things. So also the boys that does wood work, they know how to build things to hide things, well, how they hide their knives is what I don`t know.

Lately Jer has been cooking up in the school, and one of the young guys (Panamanian who used to live in Cali), he is called Sopa China (Chinese Soup), I think he loves noodles soup, I made him understand that there are many soup, so he has to choose one, chicken-sweet corn soup or Tomato soup, he is a nice guy. He is been selling BF made by Jer up in the school kitchen, hope they raise some money as we need that here.

Out and did some workout, guess this is one thing; one can really do to channel all the negatives energy and feelings into. I always feel good with myself when I`m done with my workout. But always careful with the guys working out as most will always want to take a mick out of you and they don`t really know how to make jokes.

Went to the Library, did some update, guess I`m way behind on my blog as I don`t have access to internet more often like before, since Cara Pony`s laptop was taken away by the Bossman, it`s been a bit difficult to get hold of Perla`s. Hope I get it soon and be able to do bit of updating.

Manni made a sort of trailer or Promo for his film, this will be going out to all the to be sponsors, I guess most European Embassies and Consulates will get a copy. The Director was very full of himself as he speaks over the whole film. He will be playing himself, Manni hope to get it subtitle in most of the European languages. Guess that will be a nice thing as others apart from Spanish speakers will be able to watch the film and see what happens when improper decisions are made even by the good guys. El Mal Paso is the Title and I hope to get a compressed version on my blog when I get the laptop or Upload it to my Youtube account. I bloodly need my own laptop, hope I get a school to send me a letter or will have to get all letters received from my Uni back in London and get them to the Bossman since he is believe in seeing.

One of my little boys or adopted son been lock up in Anexo, the Reflection; now called Fabella (after Favella in Rio de Janeiro) used to be where people are locked up for punishment only allowed to shower in the evening. But now since they have turned it into cells and the inmates there christened it Favella. Some cells in Anexo is now used for that purpose, Hugo my dope head buddy who gave me the nick name ¨Big Black¨ been lock up there for more than a Month, hope they let him out, well locking him there doesn`t stop him from getting high, but this time, he just get high and stayed within the cell, than walking around with towel around his arm looking for his girlfriend in other people`s cell. My lil Boy been there, finally asked him what he did, I guess mouthed one of the wardens, so they throw him in there. He will be there for a while though, got him a soda and Onion, wondered what he will cook, guess the other guys there wanted that.

Schat and I text through out the day, she is going through loads juggling her job and the kids. Jessie asked her to call me as I promised her last night when she finished her peas I will talk with her. Kids they don`t forget things. When I got her on phone, the first thing she said, was ‘Daddy you said you will talk to me when I finish my food’. That was right, and she had her call. My son who doesn`t want to be left out in the action jumped in as he also wants to talk to daddy… he has a way of saying Long Time….. Long time probably means forever to him, he says it with many Long (Long long long long long long long Time), I think he wants one to know long time really mean long time. When he asks for Candies, he always wants to know if he will get it now or after a long time. As he also told me that I`m taking a long time, I guess my vacation as my Schat calls it, will be a long long long long long long Forced vacation. Hope the Snail speed judiciary system here will speed up a bit. One of the guys here recently went to court after 24 Months in waiting. That`s way too long, but they don`t give a damn as they are not always in hurry.

We had dinner that evening, was sweet yummy one, Jer will be leaving very very very soon (according to my son, uses that also like in very very very Hot). But this evening AliPrac; the Prison wasn`t that bad, well the rice was bad, but we had Fried Beef (Steak) but I guess they fried off all the important things one will need in beef. According to Jer it was like some dinosaur`s meat, but what I felt when I ate it as I got some from my contacts. It tasted like eating a piece from my Leather shoe. Wondered what they think of us, well Prison, sometimes I seems to forget that. We chatted the night away and watch some films.

Did some reading before finally crashing on my bunk….. Maybe into Oblivion or my dreamland. But always grateful to God as days comes and goes without issues among the inmates here.

Thursday, 15 April…..

Early shift, picked my BF, guess by now Pepe and most of the guys know, that I ain`t ready to be picking up BF for them as mine comes separately now, Back to bed and sleep for a while.

Up and ready for workout, did some walking and jogging around the field and also weights till pass noon when we are supposed to get in so the youths comes out. Sometimes I like to stay out, but then, they will buck me like insect, and so going in to me quarter is probably the best option now. Went in, showered and had my brunch.

Stayed in and tried napping as I was felt tired, but couldn`t as the noise behind my cell and on my bed side was too much. Felt some thing itchy or crawling on my feet was scare that we might have bedbug as there was an outbreak in Favella; once saw one of the lads, the one who supplies my fruits with soot over his body and hanging his Mattress outside in the sun when he was suppose to be in school. When he showed me his body and told me that it was from Bedbug, was damn scare. But luckily after checking my bed and turning on the lights, there was nothing. Guess my mind is imagining things. I pray we don`t get that here. We have roaches and we are ok with them since they are part of the system here and probably doing time as well, even chickens, since the Director has stopped cock fights, they now breed them and take them outside to do the fighting.

Back in La Joya, I was saw an Albino or white Cockroach, I actually kept it as that was my first time seeing things like that, guess there must have been some malfunction in the genetic process, but it was scary and beautiful at the same time. The guys there laughed at me, asking what I will do with it, maybe smuggled it to Europe and exhibit it… lol.

Hugo sent for me, needed a bag of ice and that is $1.25, well got one bag and took half, gave him the other half. He asked for a dollar, told him I don`t have. Whatever he thinks of me, I don`t know. His Aunt is a blood sucking Lawyer, who is specialize in bailing people after getting more than 20 Gran and even cars from client. She has been here several times, Manni knows her as she was a lawyer to an inmate Manni knew when he was in La Joyita; one of the Maximum Prison close to La Joya, the guy paid her 20 Gran, and 2 New Honda Civic which she drives when she comes here. The guy was later granted bail, guess he is outside doing his things, before one will want to part with such amount of money, he knows how much he is making.

It`s surprising how many people does dopes here, the ones I thought don`t do it, actually does it. Almost everyone does the white thing and the wicked one Diablo, some of the youths here are incessantly stoned, and they are always working with red and watery eyes. And lately Pepe been taking things that is making him very hyper; when talking, his face is always in one`s face and been working out like a youth. Hope he knows what he is doing.

Slept after dinner, only to wake up around 11pm and stayed till 4ish reading.

The phone has been of great help as I don`t really feel my absence from Schat and the kids, they could call me whenever they want and the sms is the best of all innovation after G strings and Wonder Bra were invented to fool men. Well according to some books, Beer is also another good innovation by man as it helps with the decision making in picking up a girl you first saw when you walked into the pub and swore for a million bucks nothing will make you even sit close to her. But end up taking her home after some pints of the Golden liquid.

Well, hit my bed and hope I get some good dreams tonight…. Asi la vida!!!

Friday, 16 April…

Been reading throughout the night and the wee hours of Friday, read New York Times someone gave to Manni, wonder where the world is heading to. Most Economies are coming out of the recession, but too bad for country like Spain, which is seeing an increase in the rate of her unemployment, the funny thing, when there is an economy downturn, some dope head politicians blame immigrants, hope they sort out their problems and bring back all the money they nicked from the treasury and start paying themselves realistic salaries. I guess Greece should merge with another country since they can even raise enough money to meet up its annual budget; they had to borrow every year to stay aloft.

We heard of a British girl in the female prison who had gotten her sentence, but won`t want to go back home on repatriation as she believes there is no job back home, and she could be release on the two third program by the Panamanian Govt. well from all I heard and known, the two third is only applicable to Panamanian and not foreigners. Which means she will end up doing her full time here, that`s absolute Bullocks, I won`t trade a in my freedom for a million bucks. Wondered what she likes about this place, well maybe she finds happiness here. But me, I`m ok, but this is not where I would like to be.

Economies and politics, right now, what matters to me is the prison politics and economies. Which is really taking place here, when foreigners submit application, you have to submit more than three times of same thing, as the maladroit girl working upstairs who happens to be the Bossman secretary always misplaces our papers. Moreover I always pray that we don`t experience recession here as the kids here will be too broke and they may all go berserk if they beg and are refused.

Slept for a long time, up around 1pm in the afternoon, been raining off and on, but the heat is still on. Hope we will get a hard rain that will wash off the heat, now I know why they play football and other outdoor sports at night when it`s cooler. But what they are doing to our Football is bad, having Cheerleaders before, during half time to dance and jump around. It doesn`t go well with the game of Football, imagine going up to watch Man U and Arsenal, and this girls are out jumping around, I guess no man will want to concentrate on what he paid to watch, they will be waiting for the girls to come out again. Most men will be season tickets just to go and watch the cheerleaders. Hope they make football what it’s suppose to be. Not like our American brother who loves the cheerleading thing.

Made pancake like we do back in Europe, gave others and they loved it. Guess it`s always difficult to cook and eat alone as others will be watching you, then you look bad. Since we were on late shift, stayed indoors till the doors were opened, then left for the library, had Pedro`s laptop, but he came back too soon as he needed it to work. He is the one that mostly do writing for most of the guys here who can`t write and won`t bother to learn how to write.

Back in my cell as it was raining, but it was still hot and sticky, what a crazy weather, hope it gets cooler soon. But the weather hasn`t been promising anything near cool weather, they kept saying that April will be the hottest of all the Months this year.

Pepe who has been expecting his girl, and wouldn`t let me rest, been up and down, panting and working out to look good or best, well he will soon by 63, wondering how good does he wants to look. Well, to me at his age, he looks very ok, as he can handle any young lady properly. But the two times he has gone out on permissions, he`s always back stoned and pissed, he never did anything, the last time, had to cleaned up his vomits has he vomited all over the floor where he slumped down. What a character!!! But this time he is dead serious about this new girl of his, guess one of the lads; Ricky hook him up and from what he told me, he said the girl told him she needs a stable man not just one to play about, but one that will stay and ready to stay. And she came to jail to look for a stable man, well maybe Pepe will be, who knows…. But she didn`t come and Pepe was disappointed. …. Not Again (as my son will say). He later told me she will call my phone by 10.30pm, though he slept, as if he had an alarm clock on him, he woke up around that time, but she didn`t call, she left my old buddy in total confusion as he had prepared himself for her. Dyed his hair, trimmed his Saddam Hussein Mustache, even asked me for Manni Converse trainers, thinking they were mine, he would have gotten it though. But he never used any of those as she didn`t come. She shouldn`t worry when Pepe gets permission to go out, she will feel the Pepper in him.

We had chicken wings that night for dinner and I made salad which I got from my Diet meal, it was nice as sometimes the prison food comes like that.

Spent the whole night reading and thinking…. But thanking God for all his grace.


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