Archive for April, 2010

Life in Prison

Posted in Uncategorized on April 25, 2010 by doingtimeabroad


Monday the 12th through Sunday the 18th of April 2010.

Up all night as I had the laptop, finally left for my appointment, with chains and fetters, one look like one of those Americans on death row. The driver and my police escort were nice guys; they were the ones who took me out before. But I slept all the way to the city, only waking up when the car bumps on the road.

Had thought I´m going for medical check-up as I was told of this appointment the same day they informed me of my statement´s appointment, but it was a different kind of medical, I was going to meet a shrink, got there and at the hold up (A cage like cell), so tired as I didn´t sleep, slept for a while only to wake up to the sound of people laughing and talking. Outside of my cage where my cop escort was, was another female cop with a female inmate from The Femenino (The Women prison).  She was so good looking and her escort didn´t mind as my escort flirted with her, took some picx of her as they chatted and played.

My police escort seems to know the girl very well as they chat and she even grabbed him on his P part, the dude had to go to the loo to get himself straighten up. More people joined us, one adult from La Joya and two young lads from the juvenile prison, when we chatted, was shocked on how the human rights of this country is so bad and one sided. One of the youths from the Juvenile Prison was 16 years old of age, was locked up when he was 13 years (locked up for attempted robbery) and the other was 18 years of age, locked up when he was 14 years (for Homicide). I can´t believe a country will want to waste the lives of their youths, I guess the poor ones are those that suffer, as there is no law or justice for the poor in panama or most of the Latino American countries. When their escorts told me about them and that there are many like them in the centre, was left dumb-founded as I thought of my kids and my world, if at 13 years my kids does anything bad, I guess I should be held responsible as they neither know right from wrong.

I can´t just believe why on earth the childhood of these kids should be taken away from them and destroyed, believing by locking them up they will change. All the lads in my centre were once in the Juvenile centre and they all re-offended and were brought in again, this time as gang members and ready to do anything for honour. At least I can see from those in my centre that sending kids as young as 12, 13 years into prison with 17 or older youths doesn`t help them. The most trouble and trouble makers in my centre are within the minors. They walked around with knives and are ready to do anything as they believe they`ve got nothing to loose.

Well, at that moment I seems to forget about my own ordeals as I see the this lads and what their future will be, the 18 years one boldly said, when he´s out he´s going to Colombia, well maybe to get his heart harden and who knows what more. I hope someday, the leaders of this country will look down on these ones.

Well, our pretty lass from Femenino wasn´t all that pretty at heart, as I finally got to know from my police escort: she is a Black Widow… guess we know what the Black widow spider does, kill after copulating with her male. According to my escort she is involved in 4 different cases of homicide, she sets men up for her gang to rob and some end murdered. Guess no man will want to go near her, though she looks pretty but damn dangerous and deadly as she is tied to four cases of homicide. She has two kids living with her ex. Hope she is not given access to those kids as she ain´t got nothing good to tell them.

Finally went for my medical review or another round of questioning, guess this time they just want to determine the state of my mind, if I’m loco or normal. Guess I´m normal for now, don´t know how I will be in months or years living with people who seems to be loco but try acting normal.

Had the same guy who always interprets for me, kinda suspecting he is an American agent, well whatever he is, they should get me to court as soon as they can. I hope I have satisfied all they wanted. Well kinda wondered why they spend so much time on we small timers when we have got guys who were caught with a Ton or two of the white thing.

On our way back got another cough syrup and we stopped for brunch, got us chicken and soda, asked them if I can get some beer, well like I said, most of these guys on uniforms ain´t all we thought. At the right place and setting, they will be what they are. We stopped on our way back and I got two cans of Guinness stout that was cool as I had all and ready to go back and get some proper sleep. The driver gave me his number, that if I have things to get from outside, like phone, stoves, cooker or any electrical he can get them for me. Well, wouldn´t think of that, as he doesn´t work here full time.

Back in the centre, surprised as I wasn´t searched when I got back, they just look at the cough syrup and told me to take it to the doctor to verify, walked up to the clinic and down again. Then to my cell, if I had gotten phone or knife, guess I would have brought it in easily. What a big joke this place is and will always be………

Back in, Manni was busy with the laptop, guess I paid for him, well I took over, but didn´t stay up to 5 mins when Perla came for it, gave him and also the link to activate windows 7 which Schat text me. Talk with Schat about the day´s business.

Luis my lil friend from pabellon came for my phone, told me he was calling a number on same network which would have been free, but end up calling a number on a different network, used up all my call credit, was mad at him, well what can I do. Nothing but vowed to ignore him when he comes asking for anything. Took a long nap till evening, well I think the Guinness helped me as I slept despite the noise around my cell and outside by the dominoes players.  

Schat finally text and we chatted a bit before lockup and Manni made pasta as Jer wasn´t ready to cook. 

Had an early night as I was still worn out from the previous night vigil and the effect of the Guinness, sometimes nice to get pissed on the right stuff other than the Moonshine brewed by the boys here, which I think will be very dangerous to one`s health.

Tuesday 13 April……

Someone picked BF, guess they now understand I won`t be picking theirs and mine, since they don`t come at same time. The library was closed, dressed up for workout, did loads of walking and jogging. No weights, but later workout with the bar in the cell, were very satisfying as I felt very good with my body now.

Ramses, who was once in my cell before I came here, but got into fight with Manni and even broke some of his ribs, but now lives in another cell, though he is always part of our cell and always comes in when ever he want. He eats, shyte, smoke and does everything here. He brought in some frozen beef, that we should make something and eat, Ernesto prepared the beef with Plantain and we had it, kept some Jer, it was nice and looks healthy.

Had a short afternoon nap as it was so hot outside that one can feel it in the cells, slept till pass 3pm and up as the day will soon end with lock up.

Leo, our Mexican friend who has become a film producer since Manni invited him to work in his film project told me of how he was also involved with Cara Pony, that he made him some permit, and he handed them in on Saturday and on Sunday the Director was in Cara Pony`s cell to take all his stuffs. Guess that permit and many others will be cancelled.

Helped Jerry with his English exams as it was set for 5.30pm, talked to Moreno who allowed me to stay in Jerry`s cell. When we finished, he checked his result and got 100%, he was so happy, bought me soda and told me I can always get his laptop when I want to. Nice friend, hope he keeps his knife away from me, in his cell, everyone seems to respect him or should I say Fear him as they all know what he can do. We work out together and he uses loads of Mass Protein stuff and other stuffs, so that make him look bigger than his mates. I guess they live together and get along with each other as they all know what each other can do.

When I finally got out, gave Moreno the Warden $2 for his patience and back in my cell, Jer cooked and we had our dinner.

Did some reading before crashing on my bed for the night…

Wednesday 14 April……….

Up reading through the wee hours till I slept, reading Gezant, nice article especially the interview with the Minister of Foreign affairs, guess he is really doing his best to keep people from falling into situation like ours, but still many more will be tempted or make the wrong turns that will land them here.

Up to wee, too bad as our automatic toilet system isn`t working anymore, actually the system wasn`t supposed to be an automatic as it was, it was a malfunction which allows the water to run non stop, but we love it as it takes every downloads straight on, that you don`t even get to see your shyte. But since it stopped, we have to make use of buckets and flush it manually and the worst of all, endure the stink of anybody downloading, especially Pepe our old Banker, who doesn`t eat his AliPrac food on time, always kept his food until its get cold, too bad when he uses the loo. Manni always said we are made to sit through 62 years old fart. Well that`s what happens when you lock up 6 men in one cell. Guess ours is even much better compared to others in the smaller cells where I used to be. I have told Pepe to be eating his food while it`s still warm and not when it`s gone a bit bad.

Slept till Billy came calling for my BF, finally up and had my BF and then shower, listen to music in the cell, Anita Baker and some classic soul, thanks to Schat for the USB and all the files stored in there for me.

Our old frying pan like every other utensils here which are so old that they look like great grand Mother stuffs, well like I said, once anything finds its way into the centre, they don`t go out and that includes Knives and other things. They also do their time, they don`t even get spoilt. Phone chargers which is what is mostly taken during searches are now hidden in fans and other electrical appliances, our centre`s technician who is also an inmates is a specialist in building such things. So also the boys that does wood work, they know how to build things to hide things, well, how they hide their knives is what I don`t know.

Lately Jer has been cooking up in the school, and one of the young guys (Panamanian who used to live in Cali), he is called Sopa China (Chinese Soup), I think he loves noodles soup, I made him understand that there are many soup, so he has to choose one, chicken-sweet corn soup or Tomato soup, he is a nice guy. He is been selling BF made by Jer up in the school kitchen, hope they raise some money as we need that here.

Out and did some workout, guess this is one thing; one can really do to channel all the negatives energy and feelings into. I always feel good with myself when I`m done with my workout. But always careful with the guys working out as most will always want to take a mick out of you and they don`t really know how to make jokes.

Went to the Library, did some update, guess I`m way behind on my blog as I don`t have access to internet more often like before, since Cara Pony`s laptop was taken away by the Bossman, it`s been a bit difficult to get hold of Perla`s. Hope I get it soon and be able to do bit of updating.

Manni made a sort of trailer or Promo for his film, this will be going out to all the to be sponsors, I guess most European Embassies and Consulates will get a copy. The Director was very full of himself as he speaks over the whole film. He will be playing himself, Manni hope to get it subtitle in most of the European languages. Guess that will be a nice thing as others apart from Spanish speakers will be able to watch the film and see what happens when improper decisions are made even by the good guys. El Mal Paso is the Title and I hope to get a compressed version on my blog when I get the laptop or Upload it to my Youtube account. I bloodly need my own laptop, hope I get a school to send me a letter or will have to get all letters received from my Uni back in London and get them to the Bossman since he is believe in seeing.

One of my little boys or adopted son been lock up in Anexo, the Reflection; now called Fabella (after Favella in Rio de Janeiro) used to be where people are locked up for punishment only allowed to shower in the evening. But now since they have turned it into cells and the inmates there christened it Favella. Some cells in Anexo is now used for that purpose, Hugo my dope head buddy who gave me the nick name ¨Big Black¨ been lock up there for more than a Month, hope they let him out, well locking him there doesn`t stop him from getting high, but this time, he just get high and stayed within the cell, than walking around with towel around his arm looking for his girlfriend in other people`s cell. My lil Boy been there, finally asked him what he did, I guess mouthed one of the wardens, so they throw him in there. He will be there for a while though, got him a soda and Onion, wondered what he will cook, guess the other guys there wanted that.

Schat and I text through out the day, she is going through loads juggling her job and the kids. Jessie asked her to call me as I promised her last night when she finished her peas I will talk with her. Kids they don`t forget things. When I got her on phone, the first thing she said, was ‘Daddy you said you will talk to me when I finish my food’. That was right, and she had her call. My son who doesn`t want to be left out in the action jumped in as he also wants to talk to daddy… he has a way of saying Long Time….. Long time probably means forever to him, he says it with many Long (Long long long long long long long Time), I think he wants one to know long time really mean long time. When he asks for Candies, he always wants to know if he will get it now or after a long time. As he also told me that I`m taking a long time, I guess my vacation as my Schat calls it, will be a long long long long long long Forced vacation. Hope the Snail speed judiciary system here will speed up a bit. One of the guys here recently went to court after 24 Months in waiting. That`s way too long, but they don`t give a damn as they are not always in hurry.

We had dinner that evening, was sweet yummy one, Jer will be leaving very very very soon (according to my son, uses that also like in very very very Hot). But this evening AliPrac; the Prison wasn`t that bad, well the rice was bad, but we had Fried Beef (Steak) but I guess they fried off all the important things one will need in beef. According to Jer it was like some dinosaur`s meat, but what I felt when I ate it as I got some from my contacts. It tasted like eating a piece from my Leather shoe. Wondered what they think of us, well Prison, sometimes I seems to forget that. We chatted the night away and watch some films.

Did some reading before finally crashing on my bunk….. Maybe into Oblivion or my dreamland. But always grateful to God as days comes and goes without issues among the inmates here.

Thursday, 15 April…..

Early shift, picked my BF, guess by now Pepe and most of the guys know, that I ain`t ready to be picking up BF for them as mine comes separately now, Back to bed and sleep for a while.

Up and ready for workout, did some walking and jogging around the field and also weights till pass noon when we are supposed to get in so the youths comes out. Sometimes I like to stay out, but then, they will buck me like insect, and so going in to me quarter is probably the best option now. Went in, showered and had my brunch.

Stayed in and tried napping as I was felt tired, but couldn`t as the noise behind my cell and on my bed side was too much. Felt some thing itchy or crawling on my feet was scare that we might have bedbug as there was an outbreak in Favella; once saw one of the lads, the one who supplies my fruits with soot over his body and hanging his Mattress outside in the sun when he was suppose to be in school. When he showed me his body and told me that it was from Bedbug, was damn scare. But luckily after checking my bed and turning on the lights, there was nothing. Guess my mind is imagining things. I pray we don`t get that here. We have roaches and we are ok with them since they are part of the system here and probably doing time as well, even chickens, since the Director has stopped cock fights, they now breed them and take them outside to do the fighting.

Back in La Joya, I was saw an Albino or white Cockroach, I actually kept it as that was my first time seeing things like that, guess there must have been some malfunction in the genetic process, but it was scary and beautiful at the same time. The guys there laughed at me, asking what I will do with it, maybe smuggled it to Europe and exhibit it… lol.

Hugo sent for me, needed a bag of ice and that is $1.25, well got one bag and took half, gave him the other half. He asked for a dollar, told him I don`t have. Whatever he thinks of me, I don`t know. His Aunt is a blood sucking Lawyer, who is specialize in bailing people after getting more than 20 Gran and even cars from client. She has been here several times, Manni knows her as she was a lawyer to an inmate Manni knew when he was in La Joyita; one of the Maximum Prison close to La Joya, the guy paid her 20 Gran, and 2 New Honda Civic which she drives when she comes here. The guy was later granted bail, guess he is outside doing his things, before one will want to part with such amount of money, he knows how much he is making.

It`s surprising how many people does dopes here, the ones I thought don`t do it, actually does it. Almost everyone does the white thing and the wicked one Diablo, some of the youths here are incessantly stoned, and they are always working with red and watery eyes. And lately Pepe been taking things that is making him very hyper; when talking, his face is always in one`s face and been working out like a youth. Hope he knows what he is doing.

Slept after dinner, only to wake up around 11pm and stayed till 4ish reading.

The phone has been of great help as I don`t really feel my absence from Schat and the kids, they could call me whenever they want and the sms is the best of all innovation after G strings and Wonder Bra were invented to fool men. Well according to some books, Beer is also another good innovation by man as it helps with the decision making in picking up a girl you first saw when you walked into the pub and swore for a million bucks nothing will make you even sit close to her. But end up taking her home after some pints of the Golden liquid.

Well, hit my bed and hope I get some good dreams tonight…. Asi la vida!!!

Friday, 16 April…

Been reading throughout the night and the wee hours of Friday, read New York Times someone gave to Manni, wonder where the world is heading to. Most Economies are coming out of the recession, but too bad for country like Spain, which is seeing an increase in the rate of her unemployment, the funny thing, when there is an economy downturn, some dope head politicians blame immigrants, hope they sort out their problems and bring back all the money they nicked from the treasury and start paying themselves realistic salaries. I guess Greece should merge with another country since they can even raise enough money to meet up its annual budget; they had to borrow every year to stay aloft.

We heard of a British girl in the female prison who had gotten her sentence, but won`t want to go back home on repatriation as she believes there is no job back home, and she could be release on the two third program by the Panamanian Govt. well from all I heard and known, the two third is only applicable to Panamanian and not foreigners. Which means she will end up doing her full time here, that`s absolute Bullocks, I won`t trade a in my freedom for a million bucks. Wondered what she likes about this place, well maybe she finds happiness here. But me, I`m ok, but this is not where I would like to be.

Economies and politics, right now, what matters to me is the prison politics and economies. Which is really taking place here, when foreigners submit application, you have to submit more than three times of same thing, as the maladroit girl working upstairs who happens to be the Bossman secretary always misplaces our papers. Moreover I always pray that we don`t experience recession here as the kids here will be too broke and they may all go berserk if they beg and are refused.

Slept for a long time, up around 1pm in the afternoon, been raining off and on, but the heat is still on. Hope we will get a hard rain that will wash off the heat, now I know why they play football and other outdoor sports at night when it`s cooler. But what they are doing to our Football is bad, having Cheerleaders before, during half time to dance and jump around. It doesn`t go well with the game of Football, imagine going up to watch Man U and Arsenal, and this girls are out jumping around, I guess no man will want to concentrate on what he paid to watch, they will be waiting for the girls to come out again. Most men will be season tickets just to go and watch the cheerleaders. Hope they make football what it’s suppose to be. Not like our American brother who loves the cheerleading thing.

Made pancake like we do back in Europe, gave others and they loved it. Guess it`s always difficult to cook and eat alone as others will be watching you, then you look bad. Since we were on late shift, stayed indoors till the doors were opened, then left for the library, had Pedro`s laptop, but he came back too soon as he needed it to work. He is the one that mostly do writing for most of the guys here who can`t write and won`t bother to learn how to write.

Back in my cell as it was raining, but it was still hot and sticky, what a crazy weather, hope it gets cooler soon. But the weather hasn`t been promising anything near cool weather, they kept saying that April will be the hottest of all the Months this year.

Pepe who has been expecting his girl, and wouldn`t let me rest, been up and down, panting and working out to look good or best, well he will soon by 63, wondering how good does he wants to look. Well, to me at his age, he looks very ok, as he can handle any young lady properly. But the two times he has gone out on permissions, he`s always back stoned and pissed, he never did anything, the last time, had to cleaned up his vomits has he vomited all over the floor where he slumped down. What a character!!! But this time he is dead serious about this new girl of his, guess one of the lads; Ricky hook him up and from what he told me, he said the girl told him she needs a stable man not just one to play about, but one that will stay and ready to stay. And she came to jail to look for a stable man, well maybe Pepe will be, who knows…. But she didn`t come and Pepe was disappointed. …. Not Again (as my son will say). He later told me she will call my phone by 10.30pm, though he slept, as if he had an alarm clock on him, he woke up around that time, but she didn`t call, she left my old buddy in total confusion as he had prepared himself for her. Dyed his hair, trimmed his Saddam Hussein Mustache, even asked me for Manni Converse trainers, thinking they were mine, he would have gotten it though. But he never used any of those as she didn`t come. She shouldn`t worry when Pepe gets permission to go out, she will feel the Pepper in him.

We had chicken wings that night for dinner and I made salad which I got from my Diet meal, it was nice as sometimes the prison food comes like that.

Spent the whole night reading and thinking…. But thanking God for all his grace.


Tales from El Renacer

Posted in Uncategorized on April 25, 2010 by doingtimeabroad


Monday 5th of April through Sunday the 11th of April 2010.

Monday 5th April……

The Easter break has ended and hope things will get back to normal, as the offices will be functioning. Agent got BF, in till Billy came cursing or calling don`t know which. He`s kiwi and like his English mates, they used loads of profane words, well if he doesn`t like doing the job he should simply tender in his resignation. He brought same thing which was served for the normal BF, well mine is suppose to be diet BF, but if it`s same thing as the normal one why bother bringing at all. And the midget Colombian who stocks up the left over is mad at me because I`m on diet, he wouldn`t understand, thus never want to give me my portion from the normal BF, he always insist that I have to wait for Billy who sometimes comes around 8am. Got it and back to bed….

Billy the kiwi has been here for more than 4 years, he is an old guy and unlucky to be from New Zealand which doesn`t have repatriation pact with Panama, so he has to do his full time, he was given a 6-year sentence and luckily has been working which will reduce the remaining 2 years in half. Here in panama once you are working and schooling one get a reduced term, but the problem is foreigners don`t get the chance to work here as most of the jobs are taken by the Panamanians and most foreigners are not interested in the school thing as they have to pay. But most of the European countries has repatriation pact with Panama, so most count on that they won`t be doing the full time here in Panama. I hope I don`t get to do my full time here as it will be mind breaking and can turn a normal person berserk. Back in La Joya where I was on transit before coming here, met this Jamaican who was a British resident and has his family there, was given 6 years for importing marijuana into panama, just a key of joint, which is nothing in most places. He’s been there for 3 years and from what I see and what people say of him, he is gone loco, talks to himself and write loads of stuff on  pieces of papers, calls the world Babylon, heard one time he fought with his lawyer. He will probably do his full time since his country don`t have repat pact with Panama and the Brit ain`t ready to help him, despite the fact that he has kids and a wife there who are all Brits.

Back home, I guess it will be Easter Monday and it`s likely going to be a public Holiday, but here, life starts today and offices and Business are back in form.

On late shift, so didn`t bother getting up not until the dominoes players started playing close to my bed, got up and sent a text to my lawyer, been expecting him since Wednesday last week. Hope he come today, he finally called that he will come before noon and also asking for my list again, text Schat to email the list to him again as I don`t have access to email at that moment. But she was in the Hospital for an impromptu check up, women they really go through loads during the night months, guess that`s why we have so many Mother`s songs and none for fathers except such as Papa was a Rolling Stone, Papa got a brand new bag, but never the Thank you ones, but they seems to forget who hustle for bread to be laid on the table, like Chris Rock said in one of his HBO comedy, all that Daddy gets is the ‘Big Piece of chicken’.

While busy with working out in the cell with the bar on the ceiling, was called that my Embassy is around, hummm, she knows how to surprise us, I guess she always show at the right time, and her coming will save many of the guys as most are on red. Had my shower and out, guess the Custodios will be on alert as this is our pay day, also this was my day as I was getting loads of things from Schat; Books and other things that will keep me busy while I`m here. We had talks about life and how our process are going on, happy that things are on the positive as some stages has been concluded, yet more stages to go. I hope the snail speed system in Panama will get a bit faster. We also talk about getting my radio in and also a permit for my laptop as I will be continuing with my studies now. I hope the Director will get to sign them.

Got loads of books, the guys here don`t like books, the sheer sight of books frighten them, so I made sure that I came in with loads of them. Many knew we had our visit from the embassy as they always stand by the wire fence and watch all that happens outside the visit area. It`s just pure waste of time, standing and watching people doing their things when you could use the time for yourself or sleep and get lost in dreamland. But this lads, they just love watching so when you get in, they know what to ask from you. Seeing me with cartons filled with books, they just couldn`t say a word, not even to help me. Back in my cell, sort the things out, find out my hard disk was missing; loads gone with it and I know it was stolen by the Panamanian Customs, the pack left London via Miami and then panama, it stayed at the Customs for couple of days, guess that`s where some dope head Panamanian  custom decided to nick it. Hope he enjoys all my Uni work and music. Every other thing came in intact.

While busy sorting things out, Cadil my little friend, who walks like he is superman or incredible Hulk came in and offered to sell us Chicha Fuerte (that`s local name the Panamanians call the prison brew) Moonshine, told him no and he left with his brew. He`s actually the lad that wanted a fight with one of the trouble maker in the galleria, how I wish they allowed him beat the big fool, whose major preoccupation here is food; remembered when I first came in here, he told me he`s got 4lbs of beef, well thought it was fresh beef, told him to get it, this dude came with 4 portion of his cooked meals he sells, and it was sausages with rice, told him I`m not buying, he just wouldn`t leave my cell, held the plate and stared at me and my mates. He kept on saying that I told him I was going to buy it, told him he said something different but came with something else. He finally left and I was given a low down of the dude by my mates. He made a mistake by slapping Cadil, though he may look very small, but he`s got loads of guts and was quick to get hold of knife to dissect that fat fool. But he was stopped by sympathizers who knew what he can do despite his smallness. He went away burying the knife where it came from. Abracadabra and knife comes out and shoooo it´s gone back into nowhere. Asi esta vida !!!

Was so sad as my hard disk wasn`t there…. don`t know what to think, just knew it`s gone. To the library to sort the out the files on the USB flash stick, Schat did a good job in loading up loads of my files unto the flash drive and a mega 16GB, which will be useful for a while. Talked with Schat and she promised to call the courier company, guess the most they will do will be to compensate, but what about all the data`s and file lost? Guess nothing they can do about that.

Despite my trying to dodge them, the lads were still on me for money, they don`t asked much, but when you start giving out a dollar to different people, it all adds up before you realize, you have become Salvation Army, doling out to the never ending line of beggars. Five people and that`s bloody 5 bucks gone and that`s a much more amount that they will kill someone here. So I stick to my NO…. Yo no tengo, told them that my Embassy only brought me toiletries and books.

The rules here, which Jesus always break; never give money in the presence of these loonies and never take money from anyone in their presence or pay for goods or services in their presence as they will see you with that money and will come to beg, not knowing or thinking if that was your last change. But Jesus never listen, he always breaks that one golden rule.

Well, the day went pretty fast and we end as normal, the custodios knows that our embassy was here and they will be out looking for money from us.

Had our dinner and spent the evening reading through all that was sent, Jessie made me some nice cards and they were beautiful cards with her own decorations. How I missed them, got new pictures of them, they`ve grown so big. Well, the rest of the night was in thoughts of life and what next………..

Tuesday 6th………….

Picked up BF and back to sleep until Billy came calling, don`t know why they don`t just do the two at the same time. Dressed up for my workout, call my consulate about the hard drive, if they mistakenly left it behind, well nowhere to be found, it was gone and gone for good. Was angry, but that won`t solve nothing, it’s gone and gone.

Called my lawyer, who said he will be coming, well I don`t know what to say of him, but I think I almost forgot that he is a lawyer and most if not all Lawyers are Liars as they need to be that to function properly in their field of occupation.

Manni and I had a slight argument over the phone that is not coming, hope they come soon so that the tension between us will die off. Met Andorra our cyber man and tattooist, talked to him about his contact with schools in panama and how they can help me when I have to put in for exams if I can sit for them there. He will make calls, but said he is very busy with loads now. Hope he makes out the time.

To the library, to do bit and pieces, was shocked to see one of the lads in the galleria, Chapo; got his name tattooed on his shoulder, well I don`t know what these loonies think of tattoos , I always thought you get tattoos and they should be like puzzles, people should wonder what they mean or what significance they have in your life. But here, once you see their tattoos you know what they are all about.

So surprised how many of them have their names tattooed on their bodies; guess their friends after some dope sessions keep forgetting their names, they just decided to get their names on their bodies so they won`t forget or maybe they are just so much in love with themselves. One has ELIZABETH MI MADRE tattooed on his chest and also Ely mi Madre, well we know he loves his mum, but never listen to her about not killing people. And getting 2 damn tattoos done and telling us who they are for is just too appalling, guess he would`ve left it for people to guess and ask question who Elizabeth is or was… well, I know most of their names by the tattoos on their bodies. At least it has saved me the time to start memorizing names as most uses nick names here, but their real names are written somewhere on their bodies. Cool.

Well back to Chapo, he was Santos right hand man, our Scarface who got into fight with the minors and was slashed on the face and finally escaped to live on the run maybe for the remaining years of his life, chapo is one of the good looking lad here, when I mean good looking, he dresses smart and got a Prada short and always a fresh air cut every week. Always with clean Trainers and always looking chapo (sharp), but the he can`t write a word in Spanish. Was shocked when I saw him in the library telling one of the Spaniards what to write for him on his permission letter. Guess what a waste of space he is here, well, not just him alone. Many are like him but they are not ready to make use of the school programme made available by the penitentiary system and learn Spanish. Good for them as most will end up coming back to this sh*t place.

One of the lads that wanted to get into a fight with the colon lad and actually brought his knife (the last one that I saw with a really big and new massive knife that will make Rambo `s a child play thing), was studying in the library and asked me to help him, was surprised when he asked me to help him with his English test, was more than surprised to see his handwriting, pretty good, but then wondered why he acts like the others. We talked and he told me he`s actually studying Bus. Admin Marine time course in one of the Universities, the English module was part of his study. Helped him and I knew my workout for that day is gone, Pedro our Peado and the English teacher in the centre who love getting on our nerves; Manni and I, came up and said he will help him, well it didn`t went well as I knew he was giving him the wrong answers which he made him believe were right. Well, one particular question we argued, had to called Manni in being a born English speaker, but was shocked that Manni also said that in a way Pedro answer was right and that the teacher who set the question was wrong, well told the guy what I said and I believe it makes sense with the rest of the sentence……..  but when Jerry came back with the real answer I was right and he got me a soda as he wants me to be helping him with other of his assignments. Hope I make out the time for him as I am also busy.

Hope this programme will help him with his time here, in the library did some little work on my blog and bit of reading.

Back in as I didn`t work out today, one of the lad came up rubbing is belly, that is hungry and need a dollar, well that is his trademark, belly rubbing and begging for a dollar as if that will get him enough food to fill his belly, I know where the dollar will end up; buying dope for the night. Told him I ain`t got none and he made mention of my embassy coming yesterday, said yes, but I only got books. He left with a heavy face as the gate will be closed on him and the Custodios won`t take it lightly with him.

Went for my shower and back in, tried to read a bit while Jer was cooking, but fell asleep, was awoken by Pepe our old banker when food was ready. Had our dinner and watch some good movies and listen to music all night. Did bit of reading before dozing off…. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday 7th of April….

Up to use the loo and back to my bed, just lay there as I heard the BF guys, someone picked up the BF. Billy finally came with mine, got it and got ready for my daily workout; well the workout has become a daily routine thing, and do loads of walking and jogging and some days light weights. Most of the guys here uses enhancements and supplements to help them, but I want to stay natural till I have loosen enough weights, maybe then I will start with natural Protein stuffs. But no steroids as I have seen one of the guys here who uses that losing his Little john, it has shrink in size, I guess due to some of the steroids he uses. Well he should have checked online for side effects of those things.

Schat text and later called, she made contact with the courier company over the missing hard disk, they promised to start an investigation which I doubt will lead to anywhere. It`s gone and gone for good. Out for my workout when Hugo my dope head buddy who has been locked up for weeks now in Anexo, for whatever crime he must have committed which I have no clue of and nobody will tell you. Met him, since he`s constantly on lockdown, only open in the evening to have his shower after the rest of the inmates has gone in. He needed cooking oil, gave it to one of his buddy, and also reminded me that adding a dollar to oil won`t be bad, well I would have given him, but wasn`t in the mood. Told him I don`t have, got him the oil and on my way out. Met his former cellmate from Pabellon, he was actually selling BF; which Hugo used to do, wonder if it was continuation of Hugo`s biz or he was just doing his own biz. Wanted me to buy some, declined and told him, I`m going out to work out in the gym.

The new Custodio at the gate won`t let me out, early that morning, Moreno my warden buddy was on duty but he went up and this new guy won`t let me out, he only allowed the Panamanians out, though we were on the late shift, but lately it doesn`t really matter as one can always go out when you want and if the warden (Custodio) at the gate are friendly or on ones payroll.

Carlos alias Millonario, was in a fight with Chepo (one of the big time dealer here, but a very smallish old guy), heard Carlos who has been very depressed since he was stopped from working out with the others after being caught with packs of cigarettes had a stick and when the verbal confrontation took place, he must have mistakenly hit Chepo and right besides his eyes, which bled like a tap, used my handkerchief and ices to keep him cool and cleaned up while we wait for the warden to open the door so he can go up to medical for more care, he was very grateful towards me. Carlos was almost lynched by almost everyone, as they are all tired of lock ups and restrictions that will come on us if any fight comes up and the Director gets to know. Bayo, one of the big guys who with his girl killed another of his girlfriend, beat up Carlos, but we all came in to stop him before he lynches him. The warden finally came and Carlos was taken upstairs and on everyone demands, he should be taken to pabellon.

Back in my cell, listened to some music and had my herbal tea, later workout with the bar in the cell, whoever had that in the cell, did a good job as it has been of great help whenever we are in the cell or locked up. Soon it was noon, out and went to the gym and did some weight until one the wardens came with a paper with names, that our Embassy wants to see us, once I saw the names, I knew it was my contact person from the organisation back home that really help us in many area while here and when we eventually get back home.

When I got in to shower and dressed up, Manni came calling that my Lawyer is also here along with my contact person, well it will be a whole load of busy day for me. Hope everything goes as planned, the radio allowed in, my laptop permit signed and everybody goes home smiling.

When I finally went out and up to the Admin where my lawyer was, it was busy with loads of people, but the two that stood out were the two old men; One is our Colombian Millionaire who bought an Island for 80M and was later seized by the Panamanian government, he was with his young girlfriend lawyer who looks more like a Barbie doll or she should be on the set of one of the colombiam soap running here on TVN; Muñeca de Cartel, she comes each time dressed in the most expensive designer wears one will think of, wonder what she gets to say in court. She doesn`t look like a paralegal and she is his lawyer. Well this is Panama.

Now, another old fellow, seen him in the patio couple of days back, thought was one of the old guys at the infirmary up at the Pabellon, was surprised when he called on my lawyer and sent a message to his boos, the principal head of the firm. Opposite this old man, whom I later found out was an Italian as he spoke with Fabio my friend who was also out to see my lawyer as we share same lawyer. From what I heard that day, the Italian his 65 years and his little girl whom I thought was his daughter but actually his girlfriend, dressed on seven for all Mankind Jeans, Versace T shirt and armed with Luis Vuitton hand bag. Stood and massaged the old dude shoulder while he was busy eating and planted a hot kiss on him. Well he knew her when she was 16 years old and probably nursed her and later married her, now she is 19 years and he is 65, isn`t that cool… well, from what my lawyer told me about him, he is wanted in Italy for having lewd act with minor. Fabio happens to know him, kinda wonder where or how they knew each other, until he told me, that he is a very rich man. Told Fabio why don`t we kidnap him and demand from money…. lol.

Up there, you will know what prison politics is all about, while the rest of us get our visit outside, these two gets theirs just by the door step of the Director, the Colombian guess was having his 3 meals (Breakfast, Lunch and dinner) right there as his Lawyer girlfriend came with loads of food for him, wonder how he will digest all, who knows maybe in one of the fruit juice tetra pack is red wine, you can never tell.

The Old Italian guy was complaining about being robbed by the youths upstairs as the infirmary is located in the Pabellon building, guess he will be paying to live there as the kids are always stealing and will also demand money from him, once they know he has it. Most foreigners who lived up there with them, always have their things stolen even by the cellmates and they will tell you, they don`t know who stole it. Fabio used to live up there, but even his food were stolen by his mates and there was nothing he can do about it, until he finally moved out to Galeria where he is enjoying his ne found freedom at least from the boys upstairs.

Well, on my radio and laptop, they were both turned down as the radio they said was too big and for the laptop, the Director wanted an official letter from the institution that I`m studying, stating that I need the laptop for my studies. Matter of fact, this is the only prison that Laptops are officially allowed as it is a rehabilitation centre, but from what I heard of other prisons, the numbers of laptops  there are more than what we have here. The new Brit who came from La Joyita, said up there, they have more than we have here and they even get more pissed from real drink than we get from our moonshine here and cigarettes are brought in by cartons by the police and wardens. Well, even in the real world, make anything illegal and people will get rich by trading on it, but legalize it and put them out of business, just like it`s done in my country, Grass is legalized, thus making it useless if you are trading on it within the borders of the country, but if you get it out, then you can make money as it is illegal in the other countries.

We did all we could to get the radio in, even my contact person came up, but the director bluntly turned it down, saying it`s too big and moreover the order was from above. Then my lawyer told me he has seen how things works here, that it will be nice if I try Plan M, kinda what plan M means, as I have only tried plan B now, since plan A; having Jesus and his people bring it in with the permit and now this other plan…. wonder what plan M will be, thought of plan C. Whatever he meant, I resolved to talk with one of the wardens and he agreed to bring it in, but said, it won`t be too soon as it`s tensed up here in the centre. Hope he does. Got my groceries from my Lawyer and he left as he was very hungry, next time she should come with a bag of KFC as most lawyers do.

Carlos was up there, begging me for Money instead of thinking about his fate and his new mates up at Pabellon if they will welcome him. Asked for my Flip-flop as he was taken away without shoes and he never had one, I have just one as the other was nicked by some dope head. Told him, I have sent someone to get mine, but I lied, can`t give him mine.

My meeting with my contact person went very fine and really uplifting as we talked and discussed about so many things, she tries to keep us optimistic about life here. I know she can`t do much, but just going out and talked about ones problem to someone who cares to listen and also understands is such a big relieve to one`s soul and moreover having a good laugh not like the laugh here in the centre, sometimes you are forced to laugh just to pleased them or get them walking. I guess, since my incarceration, the only few people I have had proper and reasonable conversation are Johnny an American Vietnam Veteran; the real Gringo Loco in La Joya who is in for lewd acts with minor after his ex-Panamanian wife in American called the Authorities here that he is living with a Minor, well according to him, she was 18 years old and he is 60+.  The others are Manni, though sometimes we argue but good arguments, my lawyer, Mark the Old Canadian in Anexo, and Tony the Jamaican in La Joya. The others ain`t got nothing to tell you apart from Bullets and killing or wanting money or using your phone to talk to their girlfriends.

After my meeting, she gave me herbal tea which has been very good, but since we are out of normal tea, my mates has been using mine, kinda made them understand, that I need my tea due to my medical condition, hope they stay off the m, well nothing I can do as I can`t be walking around with tea. Also got dark chocolate some current editions of The Economist; read some of the articles later that night and they were nice as one get to know what is really happening in the real world as we rarely get much of world news on Panama TV.

Back in, had made sure than Jer took all the groceries my lawyer brought so I will avoid the youths and it works. But that deterred some from meeting me in my cell to ask for money. Like I have said, I really want to be blunt on these guys as I will end up not having money to meet my needs if I keep giving them money. I said No, but they don`t take that lightly and leave without saying some stupid words like we don`t give them anything as if they give.

Well, the day ended with our dinner and me making my wonder juice, this time with more Mango as we entering the mango season, guess we are blessed to have loads of fruit bearing trees around the centre.

That evening, spent time reading the magazine we always get from a Christian Organisation back home, The Editorial was about time “Doing Time” as the Americans call it, time is quit different when one is locked up, difficult to take control of it and each new day is same as the previous and may be the same as the next. You are the one  to make use of the time, one may think that while behind the walls of any prison, you got the time to do all you need do, but that`s a big lie, losing weight? I have seen many guys walked out of the gate of this place so big and massive that they barely could move, all from eating and sleeping and doing nothing. Well, prison is believed to be a place that should change people for good, but I doubt that, as many of the boys here, once they get in, gotta belong or you will become the next victim of what they started on the streets, most leave here with assignments to do things and others to continue from where they left when they were arrested. Well, the foreigners who are mostly dope head, guess are happy to be here as they have their doses served on platter for them. But most live in fear and always pleasing the Panamanians as they are the ones who call the shorts and control things here. Then the other is to remain neutral as I do no alliance to any group.

So much wrangling is going on back home on the political front, the govt wanting to downsize the numbers of Embassies and consulates abroad as we`ve got too much compare to most countries within the EU and also talks about reducing the number of visits detainees get; these he said on making them more efficient and resourceful. Well that they will with focus where visit or physical presence are more needed and also with considerations to the condition of the detainees. The Foreign Affairs minister who is actually in charge with dealing with all things to do with detainees in his interview made some positive points which made me believe though we are a small nation but we really care more about our citizens than most so called great nations; guess caring for your citizens should be an all-round thing no matter what circumstances they find themselves.

Was a good read and gives me some optimistic view of what will happen in the future.

Slept off and set the music on some old Motown classics…. drift into another dreamland world where it could also be edgy……but up to read….

Wednesday 8th April……

Up doing some reading till the wee hours before dozing off to sleep. Agent or Pepe picked up the BF. Finally got up, dressed up for workout, Jerry came up with his English assignment, told him around 3pm as I will be done with all my activities.

Sneaked out as one of the custodio opened up for the workers, was early, enjoyed the early morning sun, guess will be getting loads of the D vitamin, they should call it vitamin sun. Well, did my routine and finally got to the library and Jerry came along did helped him, but Pedro the Peado came back to disturb, well Jerry just kept his cool and allowed him did all he wanted to do, I did same, after he left, I took up from where I stopped. Coming to think of Jerry, he seems to be from a responsible home and probably must have had a good education, but seeing with that Knife sort of painted a different picture of him. Well, I think he is Panamanian and understand the system more than I do, I guess we are becoming buddies now. Helped him, when I asked him why he didn`t take what Pedro told him, he said, most that Pedro had helped with in the past, he failed most. But was happy with wat I have been doing for him so far.

One of the lads from Pabellon was on one of the PC but just couldn`t figure out why the monitor screen turn black when he wanted to play zuma, in frustration he left, quickly got it and found out the cable were loosen. Tighten it and made use of it for a while until my country bloke who is one of the big and oldest addict of the Zuma game came by, well didn`t budged, he left a bit angry saying he thought my laptop was brought during the embassy`s visit. Stayed through closing time and out for some more work out. Before ending in for shower and ends the day as it was lockup time.

Had our dinner and did some reading, lately Pepe our old Banker has been supplying me with News papers sometimes we get the day`s others some days old, well how he gets them is astonishing. Our Banker will be 63 soon, but he looks fitter than any of the old folk here, pumps up his muscles everyday and always kept his grey hair dark, moustache well trimmed. Well I guess all these for the Female custodio who give him newspapers everyday. Guess he needs that to keep him going. I`m his right hand man in the cell, actually his kids don`t know where he is, they simply thinks he is away on one if long trips, he`s got kids who are uniformed personnel in Panama. Hope this will be his last spell and doing time, so also me.

Buenos Noche…… Hope I didn’t say Ocho….lol xxx

Friday, 9th April 2010…..

Picked up BF and back to sleep, until Billy the Kiwi came calling with his Diet BF, well he came to the door and before I could get to him he has left, not knowing he dropped my BF on the table, who is his right mind will do that, how dirty things could be here. Well rushed out after him and asked him for my food, he lashed out at me that it`s n the table and screamed at me, turn my back and gave him the middle fingers from both hands, he was mad and could hear him lashing and shouting. Guess he has made me got up on the wrong side today. Gotta be careful, well according to Manni, Billy who has been here for a while ahs seen many people came and leave, since his country doesn`t have any repatriation pact with Panama, he will eventually do his full time, so his been taking his anger on everybody, I guess mostly we the foreigners as he won`t dare do that to the Panamanians who will put him where he belongs.

Finally got out for my workout, and also to make calls as I had international call card, called home, nobody was home, guess Jessie has gone for her swimming lessons, while my son will still be at the Nursery and Schat will probably by at work.

Got back in, but found out that Manni locked the cell without checking for the keys, while waiting for Jer to come back from school use the time to work out, heard from Ernesto that Billy has a copy of the key, wonder why he has a copy to our key when he doesn`t live in our cell, Jer later said he gave him as his former inmates kept losing theirs. He got the one from Jer and open the cell, after search and we couldn`t find anything, Jer finally found it in the small store outside where he dropped it.

Out in the centre, we were having a musical event, some of the lads will be singing, the inmates were allowed to invites families or friends in, but all entrance to the cells were locked as they want anything silly happening, since there will be girlfriends around.

Had met Bin Laden who supplies me with peas, told me that summer is finish won`t be getting anymore, hope I get someone who will be buying me vegetables from outside without duping me.

Did my workout in the cell while the event went on outside in the patio, had my shower and stayed in to do some reading. Finally went out and make more calls, was able to get the kids and Schat also, they were so happy to hear my voice, my son is in love with racing cars, as he sleeps with them, but Schat always take them off him as  it could be dangerous sleeping with hard toys. He also loves Monster trucks, my time we didn`t have those, we had to make ours.

We had fish for dinner and I made proper mango juice which we all like it, a friend called, but promised calling back, knew he won`t call. Well don`t need his call now.

Prison talks and jokes as the night draws in on us, hope the raining season will come soon as it`s getting hotter and hotter each night. If the doors are opened, I know many will rush out for another shower.

Spend the night reading and thinking as this is one important thing that must take place in one`s life while here. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………..

Saturday, 10th April…………..

Heard The BF guys, didn`t bother to get up, someone picked it up. Back to sleep until I opened my eyes  and found half of the cell empty, got up as Jer and others were still sleeping, well if there will be cleaning, it`s always initiated by Jer or me, but he was sleeping so also others except Pepe and Agent. Tried waking Jer, but he was deep in sleep, when I went out saw our stuffs outside, then I knew someone was busy with cleaning. It was Pepe and Agent, well, after the talk by Jer, guess things are taking a different turn now. When Pepe saw me, he asked for soap, I told him, there won`t be need for a real washing of the cell as we did that on 1st of April.

Helped them and we ended up mopping the cell, Jer was surprised, but it was a good feelings, hope next cleaning will be initiated or done by Manni or Ernesto as I`m not ready to do nada…

After the cleaning, had my hair cut by my country bloke, the hair cut is always a dollar and if you want your beard trim, then 25 cents or 50 cents, so with a one dollar, fifty cents or less you have a good look as those on the streets. One thing I fear most here is infection as he has only one clipper and I don`t know if he ever sterilizes it, had hope Schat will send me clipper, but she ended up sending the boxing gloves which took lots of space in the box; that I will talk about much later. Had my shower, guess that will help the body cool down as the heat is getting hotter and hotter.

My old Indian chief kept to his promise to me that he will supply me with sea food, he was once a representative from the Native Indians to the Panama parliament; the Native Indians were the original habitant of most part of south America before the Spanish conquest and then other Europeans and slaves were brought in to work. And they successfully pushed the Native Indians into the jungle, here in Panama; they have their own rules, and are still ruled by chiefs or they kinda run a monarchy form of Government with the chief controlling all and when I mean all, like Johnny once said, he went to the Indian settlement to get him a nice Indian girl, the chief demanded he lived with them for a year and learn of their ways, well if getting marry is like that in our world, guess no one will bother to marry. As I won`t bother to spend more than one weekend with my In-laws, though I have good in-laws. Well Johnny didn`t stay and didn`t get no Indian hotties. But I guess he got more than he bargained for, he`s cooling down in La Joya Maximum prison for playing around with minors.

Back to my Indian chief, guess with his position as a govt. elect he decided to use his influence for something else, international trade; trading in what the Colombians produced and the Panamanians distributes, like Manni said, Panama should become a distributing hub for the white thing as it`s always on the news each day of the week. I guess his trading didn`t last long as he ended up in one of the jail and lucky enough, he was sent to Renacer. Nice old guy though, but kept me waiting for too long for my sea food.

Our Chief didn`t get my Lobsters, but Octopus, which was very scary as I have no clue on what to do and get it prepared, thank God for the non stop water that runs in the centre, well, washed and washed but the slime won`t stop, then used all or my lemons, still not working, finally Jer said, gotta boil it for some minutes which I did and the it was good to go. Got it prepare and kept part frozen to be used in the future. We later had octopus sauce that evening. Lately Jer has been doing some cooking outside, hope he doesn`t use up what are meant for our dinner, since each time he cooks, he buddies ends up eating the whole lot.

The Chief promised me more things, Lobsters, Prawn and Fishes as gift as I will become his clients soon.

One of the Warden who savoured the aroma of the food while Jer was cooking, came in for a plate, he loved it as he ate and washed it down with my Ginger based Mango juice (made with real Mango as we are in the mango season). Hope when he sees us with our phones, he remembers that we gave him food when he was hungry. Manni once said that one of the requirements needed to become a Warden is to have a One Pack, all the Wardens here have one pack (Beer Belly), they are always munching something in their mouths and drinking soda which most of us buy for them, as at one point in time food are been prepared by someone in the centre. Food seems to be what is keeping most of the guys going apart from dope and grass. It´s like they are being locked up here to eat, smoke and dope!!!

 My country bloke had the laptop from Perla, thought he will give it to me, but I didn`t get it as Perla took it off him while I was probably busy in the cell, after helping him with installation of software to help with music downloads and also to get free online TV as Real Madrid and F.C Barcelona were playing, he was so glad to have it live as it was only on radio in the centre.

Spoke with Schat and we talked a great deal, since she`s got the pox, she is been home and I guess that has also been nice for the kid, mostly my lil boy who is so attached to her, hope he knows someone else is coming to take over his place as the baby of the house. Missing them loads….

We had our dinner, it was lovely and nice, the only thing missing was a glass of white wine, well guess when things normalise in the centre, such luxury can be taken care of, though the Italian guys got their way of getting pissed every night with good drinks and not just the moonshine from the centre, who knows how they get theirs in. They are always smiling in their cell even when there`s nothing to smile about.

The night ended with our talks and jokes, Pepe our old Banker is working out as if he has a fight coming up, got a surprise for him, won`t tell him until when it arrives. He`s been keeping himself very sharp and neat, he`s 62 and soon to be 63, guess for the female warden upstairs.

Agent work has been taking toll on him, as he comes back knackered and sleeps off even before you count 5; I guess he should take some time off.

Spent the night reading The Economist and some of the magazines from back home, nice read as one get to know what is happening out there in the real world. …….

Sunday 11th April……………

Early as I picked up BF, dressed up for my workout, did some walking with Martinelli; he is one of the old guys here and in my former cell with my other country blokes, nice old man, playing a part in Manni´s film and a good business man also. Knows how to make money in jail, well was surprised that he also does Diablo, so I´m made to believe that everyone here except the ones in my cell and maybe few others I know don´t do it. But he´s a nice guy, we walk for more than an hour and I later jogged after he left. Did some weights in the gym, Fabio one of the lads in Galleria joined me; he always wanted to be closed to me, once gave me a movie feat. The Game, guess someone nicked the disc from my cell, if it was other guys, it would have been a hell of war, but he seems to be a cool guy, always wanting to know something in English.

We talked about ourselves and what brought us here, guess by now, they all should know that no foreigners comes here for Homicide or murder, it´s always for International Trade, so must of us ain´t that dangerous as per stashing knives. But many are hook on the things there were once trading on. Like it´s said in one film: Never get high on your own supply!!! Many had ran into debts and had to be taken out from amongst us for their safety.

Fabio, a nice  guy is in for homicide, sold his Pick up truck and the dude refused to pay him, and along the line, the dude was found cold dead; another one bites the dust!!!, he was charged for the dude´s death. Guess in my world, our client are the king, we don´t just go killing our clients, but here anything goes.

I felt very better now as i´m working out and can also run, though my back still aches, but I can manage with that.

Now I know why some bumps back home, that always hung around the station, whenever they disappeared or taken in and done some time. When next I see them, they all look freshen up, but that looks don´t last as they get back on their binge drinking and more dopes.

Back in and cleaned up, shower and Jesus finally came, now he´s gotten permission to go out every Sunday, nice as he said he will be going home for good in couple of weeks or so, I hope he stays in touch as he is the only person we trust and can deal with here. Others wants to used and abused you, knowing that you can´t do nothing. Like the two lads whom I thought were nice guys, used Mike to get money from me, happy that I disturbed Mike and he got me part of it, and promised to pay the other fiver.

One of the wardens met me in my cell, guess needed some benjamins, but his buddy who is always on his ass came in, so he couldn´t asked. I remembered when I changed my cell, it wa so fast, the same guy did the transfer,  and the same buddy came asking if I paid to moved, told him no, like they said… No Honour among thieves!!!, these guys don´t trust themselves talkless of trusting us the cons. But the good thing we do get along. Scratch my back and I scratch yours system..

Perla finally came with the laptop, but it was not in good working condition, as he´s installed illegal OS and even the Office packet was illegal, guess Microsoft planted a bug that disable all functions, once you are on any windows programs, the keybaord won´t work, so had to get other browser to run and was able to use it, he left it saying I can have it till noon on Monday, but i won´t be as one of the Wardens just told me I will be having commission or an appointment on Monday morning, guess Manni will use it, and that was what happened.

It was today that Schat and I talked about the content of the package she sent on Manni´s name via the Brits Consulate; she sent my Boxing gloves, well I wonder what they will think of Manni, he has no looks of a boxer, Guess Ana the Asst Consul will be talking to him from a distance when she comes here with the stuffs. Guess now we will need a punch bag as we have gloves. Maybe it will be a gift to Pepe our old banker who is a boxing addict, he will love it.

Jer cooked, guess he does all the cooking as he probably doesn´t trust anybody to cook, don´t really mind as I´m okay making my juice whenever I have my ingredients. Manni does pasta with Frankfurters and I sometimes cook when Jer is bored or in one of his mood, guess as he will be going soon, he is really waiting for that day, but it´s kinda taking too long for the day to come.

Stayed through on night working online and also battling with Microsoft as they mashed up the machine, but it was fine as i was able to work online. I wonder how my appointment will be the next day, guess I will sleep all the way to the city.

Through all night till BF and the doors were opened on the morning of Monday the 12th……….


Posted in 1 on April 12, 2010 by doingtimeabroad

Week 13.

Monday 29th March through 4th of April 2010.

Up all night reading and thinking, guess the two goes together in a place like this. One can`t do without thinking, about life and its purpose. Finally hit my bed in sleep and despite that got up early when BF came by. Back to sleep as we were on late shift, slept till was tired of sleeping; that`s one thing I always get tired of apart from the leeching lads here, had always heard of jails as a very strict place with sleep and wake up routine, guess not here. You can sleep and sleep into eternity and nobody cares. Only pray that your mates care to check on you to know if you are still in this world.

Up and dressed up for workout, had my herbal tea and peanut butter sandwich; good source of protein as we get little of that here. Pop into the library and found one of the PC free, nice as I had my USB flash drive, was able to do some write up, our gamers weren`t happy as they were all waiting to play zuma and thanks to Jer who had install more better adventurous games on one of the pc`s. These days, they all glue to the screen of the monitors, just wondered if they don`t get tired of playing same game every day of the week, can´t stand a monotonous task each and everyday. With the lads from Pabellon playing the games, I can understand as many never had things like this, but seeing men older than me sitting in front of the pc, eyes on the games, they look like lab rats on experiment of some sort. The funny thing, they don`t seem to like the new adventurous game Jer installed as that will be too hard a task for them to follow; Block heads!!!   Done and out for my walking and jogging.

After that, did some weights in our makeshift gym, like I said, one has to be very careful with the weights as they could as well become weapons in one`s own hand as I have seen it before with the lad who ran upstairs to the admin with a big gash on his temple, from improper use of the dumbbells.

The whistle went up, time for lockup, back in the cell and did some shoulder with the bar in the cell, the best way to live here is stay out of sight, guess then you are of thought and reach. When the loonies don`t see me, they don`t think of me, but since my cell is always blasting with good bashment music, they always peep in and remember Big Black (Me). While working out with the bar, one of the lads pop in for a chat and to beg for money; a dollar for smoke or dope, but he won`t say that, he say he was hungry pointing and rubbing his belly at same time as if I`m so dumb or retarded that I wouldn`t understand what Yo tengo hambre means in Spanish, well, I told him, yo soy limpio (I`m clean) which figuratively means I`m Broke!!!

Spoke and text with Schat as she was busy expecting one of her Bruv who got admission into one of UK`s university, she finally pick him up at the airport and she was a bit relieve as there will be a helping hand with the kids. The kids were happy with their new uncle, guess my son will want to know if this uncle will give him more sweet and candies, for now that`s all he cares and wants; lucky him, he has no knowledge of what the world is, nice to have a child kind of thought, knowing that all will be provided when you just make the call or asked for.

They had a mini party at home, told her a little drink as Miss Rumbling won`t take it easy.

We had an emergency meeting in the cell; concerning running of things in the cell as many people are relaxed and nobody seems to be doing anything, as the saying goes; there`s always something to be done, but everybody is waiting and expecting somebody to do it, but nobody ends up doing the job. I have been doing my best to keep the cell tidy, as this is my first time sharing a small space like this with five other people. Gotta do my best to keep it tidy, always sweep when I see dirt, but found out I`m the only one doing it. Don`t really give a damn…. doesn`t take a thing or my dignity from me, apart from me losing my face in being in a place like this. Hope things will be much better now in the cell, cos as soon as we start fighting each other, we have given room for the lads here to come in and take advantage of us, so even when we have row, we sort it out amicably and quietly as possible without the walls hearing or knowing. Cos once these kids know that the bond is broken, things will start missing in the cell, clothes, shoes, money and anything. You can see your clothes on someone else`s body but can`t do no shit about it as he will tell you he bought it off someone else. That`s how things work here, survival of the fittest.

We had a different kind of dinner as there wasn`t any rice to cook, we had Dumpling and unripe plaintain, which was nice and different.

The night ended silently, hoping all that was said will sink in and have effect on all who heard, hope there will be changes in the way we live.

Spent the rest of the night reading and wishing on the stars for a way out of this melancholy life in the Jungle. But also thanking God for his grace, that I could remain optimistic in this situation.  

Tuesday 30th…..

Since I slept late, someone picked BF as I didn`t get up on time, we had black sugared coffee, since we don`t have any more coffee in the cell, this will serve me for the morning. Warmed it up and added little milk for my BF.

Out for my walking and jogging, while jogging met Bin laden (Gregory; his real name), they call him Bin Laden because he wears white beard like our infamous king of Terrorist, he is in the Green Area which is much better than where we are with the retards schizophrenias; who are only calm because there are many others like themselves. I think that keeps them from harming each other or themselves. Well, back to Bin Laden, he`s been my vegetable supplier, well I don`t know if I get a good bargain, but I`m happy with what I get, green peas and sometimes garlic; which I think he doesn`t grow it up there in the green area but from outside when his family brings him food. He`s out every now and then to measure his blood pressure at the centre`s clinic. He went up and got me some, which I prepared and had them frozen for future use.

Earlier that day, one of the Custodios told me that his Birthday will be on Sunday, well we later met as that was his last day on duty, gave him something for his Birthday, well I`m doing all these so they stay off my phone as that is my life now. They have been pretty nice to us, I guess they seem to come for money when they know we have visit from our Consulate, like the one that only ask for a dollar to buy his smoke, he always sneakily asked when is my embassy coming.

Back in cell, had my shower, Schat called about some of my websites which I registered, they have all expired and she needs to renew them. But no money, she later promised she will sort it out, hope I should be able to use some or sell some for a fortune, you never know!!!

Manni, my English mate interviewed the Director today, the Bossman was so happy being interview as he`s ready to use the film project for his career progression. He was so happy and from what Manni said, the dude wants to turn this centre into Hollywood, according to him, he doesn`t want this to be a one time project, but he want us to be rolling out films like Warner Bros does, what a big dream and vision. He told Manni, after this film, another one should be on the pipeline, hope we will have many writers also; maybe I will volunteer for that. What a laugh….lol!!!!

Things seems to be calm now in the centre and in our cell, everybody is busy doing things without being told to do a thing. Hope we keep it up like this, as soon as evening comes, things are set and prepare for dinner. Cool if we keep it up for a while, maybe for a long time.

Spoke and text with Schat, 1st of April is her birthday and I won`t be there, well she knows better, I`m always with her in spirit and in mind. Missing her loads and the kids also, I`m glad that they can keep on without me in person.

Many of the plants and shrubs around the centre can be edible or use for other things, but the guys here don`t really give a damn about a thing, well picked some mint leaves and made ice tea, which I shared with others, they love it, won`t tell them the other ingredients in the tea.

We had our dinner with my juice and off for the night…. did some reading and switch off for the day.

Wednesday 31st of March……

Picked up BF and back to bed, agent didn`t go out for work today and many others, as they were having evaluation today at the centre`s shrink, well wondered why the evaluation, this should have been done before sending them on the street to walk and work among the so call normal people on the outside. Well this is panama, anything goes, after the evaluation, we asked him what went up there, well, didn`t see any need for that, as I can have a proper evaluation with this guys for free, which at the end of my evaluation, many won`t be allowed outside the gate of the centre, but permanent lockup till they are ready to change for good.

Most of them, especially those that were repatriated back from the States had been on psychotic drugs. So the evaluation should have been done before sending them out to work, then they will know if they are fit to mix up with the society or wean them off the drugs and also find out about them from their cellmate.  Well I will understand for those that were arrested with drugs as one does not need to be violent to be in that business not even as a mule. But those that shot and murdered people and since my time here, have seen most of them act up violently shouldn`t be allowed outside. Well, was happy and relieved as most were let out to work as it eases the tension here. But calling for evaluation after such a long time is medicine after death…..

Back in the library, did some writing  and let the gamers have their way, did some reading and had Pedro (Our Peado) laptop to work with, draft a letter for a new mattress as the polyfoam (what we call the type of mattress used here) is really bad for my back, not helping. Also work on the letter for my laptop, I hope the Director will sign and approved it. Was expecting my lawyer, but the Liar ooops did I say that, I meant my Lawyer won`t turn up since he had picked up my radio and also expecting him to get me some groceries. 

Spoke with Schat and the kids, they are doing fine, but all missing me, my boy once asked Schat, when will Daddy come, he is taking a long time…… guess it`s gonna be quite a long time. Glad that they sound very happy and enjoying themselves.

The centre look dull, well will like it this way than seeing knives and weapons drawn up by sides in battle. They guys had football game, nice to see them sweat out their angers in the pitch, some of the lads are very good players, wondered why no scout discovered them before they took to guns and knives and started killing people. Talents wasted and generation lost.

Back to the cell, we had our dinner and live happily together at least for that night, and tension is at its lowest level now… Manni and I been reading loads, forgot to mention, that that someone in the government`s office in one of the ministries here in Panama heard or him or about his film project, and the support they could render to him was in the form of two Novels; one James Bond novel and another by an unknown author and there were both in English.

I guess without we the foreigners, the purpose of this centre will be defeated; the Library was initiated and set up by two British brothers and now Manni is taking up the film, their idea of rehabilitation according to the Panamanian authority is sending out inmates to paint and renovate school buildings, or maybe work in the farm; as Ernesto did and came back emaciated and very sick, but thank God we kinda nursed him back to health. I once discussed with one of the guys in the studio about contacting a private school which I have written to and they replied me, on starting a multimedia program here, but nobody gives a damn. But when most of these project become successful, you will see the director and others officials coming up with television crew to show off what they have achieve just like our Bossman is planning and hoping to seize the occasion when Manni project is finalised. Good For him…..

Thursday 1st April…….

Agent picked up Bf, was scared he might spilled it on me or get entangled with my fan, he successfully carried out that task in his slow motion world without any spillage.

Finally got up when light like flood light came on that even behind my curtain bed, eyes closed I can still feel it. Jer who was up and about cleaning the cell; most inmates here clean their cells by washing it once every week, well I like the idea of maintaining cleanliness, but the washing of the cell every week is taken it too far. You can sweep daily and mob it once or twice a week and then do the washing thing monthly as I don`t really see the need for water wastage and moving things in and out of the cell as if one is actually moving; wished it`s actually moving out of this sh*t hole for good according to my Italian friend.

I got up and assisted him, well I ended up doing most of the job, the toilet is very easy to clean as it is a self-flushing one and stainless steel, the water never stops running through it, once you do your downloading, it just go through without you hearing or seeing a thing once you are done. Nice one lol, guess must people will dream and pay for such a toilet, but then think of your water bills as it ain`t free out there like it is in here. The toilet also double up as bin, most things are thrown into it as most guys find it hard to work out to the bin, I wonder what the sewage company will find whenever they come to drain our sewage.

Jer, did loads of complaining as nobody seems to be doing nothing if he doesn`t initiate it or me doing. I try as much as I can to always keep the cell tidy by cleaning it couple of days a week, other than that nobody really care. Kinda wonder how these guys lived back home. Terrible that most can`t really take care of themselves apart from what they wear.

While cleaning Manni and Mike (the gringo who thought here to be a holiday resort) played me for an April fool, guess Manni knew I was expecting my Lawyer, came up to me that I`m needed upstairs, thought my lawyer was around, still busy with my thing, sweaty and stinky, Mike came up to hurry me up as the warden are waiting to get me up. Quickly dressed up and went up to the gate, getting up and telling the warden that I have a visit from my lawyer, from the looks he gave me, I knew that I have been punked!!! Good one…..

It`s Schat`s Birthday today, but so busy cleaning, gotta send her a text when done, wonder how she will feel by my absence. Went out for my exercise, did some walking, jogging and some weights. I also tried a game of football with the lads, didn`t end well as I sprain my bad right ankle. Guess gotta stick to my normal exercise routine and leave those contact games for those with proper and fit bodies. At the game, two of the young lads are very good player, later that evening talked with Jer about them, actually one represented panama in under 17 Football tournament in Canada, but look at him now, one homicide and he is hear, all his talent is gone in the drain, he and other one who rarely talks but I know he owns a large knife played so good.

Finally get to text Schat and wished her a lovely Birthday and hope she had some fun with the kids, asked if my kids will make her some food. Well she did have fun with the kids and her brothers. And later spoke with her, guess by now she knows I do care about her and things that happened in the past between us wouldn`t repeat itself.

Lock up time and time to get in, shower and did some washing, normally the clothes should be let out to dry outside, but lately there`s been some nicking, even underwear’s, so gotta let my short dry out in the cell. One time in the shower, one of the kids did asked me he likes my CK underwear and another from Ed Hardy, well I think it`s time to start washing my stuffs in the cell. At least nobody will see them to tell me they like them, cos the next thing will be to nick it, what on God`s earth will I do with another man`s underwear, well I can understand men who fancy collecting and nicking ladies underwear like the dude that was arrested in England for stealing and stocking women underwear, but not nicking another man`s underwear and actually wearing them, that`s is sickening. But these guys they don`t give a shit of what they nicked, most are just obsessive thieves, they just gotta steal as others eat to live, when they don`t steal they might just drop dead. When they walk through the passage, their eyes are darting through others cells whose doors are open, surveying what they will nick…..

After lockdown, told the warden Buenos noches, but the dude thought he heard Ocho (8), damn he didn`t want to mess with the source of his bread, he counted six men and heard something like eight, he ran back opening the door to be sure of his eyes, counted us again. Guess that was good for the laugh as my mates said, the dude don`t want to hear that on his watch someone escaped. They finally lockup and left.

Loads of catcalls from other cells, wondering what was happening, the wardens finally rushed him, guess they must have been mad as they were disturb from their sleep or getting ready to sleep.

That evening, the cough that started earlier in the morning, which I thought was from dry air, become intense, try to drink loads of liquid, use menthol rub and took some aspirin as I was feeling bit feverish. I hope it will subside by day break.

Spent rest of night reading and reminiscence of the past and how things should be when I leave this place…….

Friday, 2nd of April…..

Well, up at night or the wee hours of today to take a leak, but ended up staying up and reading till BF came, after picking it up, went back to sleep, slept till got tired of my bed; sometimes you just hate the sight of the bed as it`s sometimes the only place one can have the comfort one craves for in a place like these. Most prison`s cell should have a reading table with a chair or two, but here our bed is where you do all your reading your reading, happy that my cellmates don`t worry about the light. The cough is getting worse, with loads of headache and fever, self medication is my last resort.

Being Good Friday and Renacer being a very religious prison, both churches were having services, as always with holidays, we get fewer cops around, so both sections were on total lockdown. Well, that will be the most flimsy excuse to give, police are meant to guard prison irrespective of what happens in the society, guess not in Panama. Like all holidays in Panama, I knew it will be very dull in the centre, can`t wait for Monday to come so live will get back to normal. And hope there won`t be anymore homicide as on the past carnival holiday.

Sneaked out to make use of the library, but found out the library was shot, it was like ghost town out there; like scene in those old western movies when the two cowboys are out in middle of the town for a duel. It was so silent except the songs from both churches. I`m happy seeing how many of these cons really want to get close to their maker. But my problem remains with their affinity to trouble and weapons of deadly destruction of the human body…..

Didn`t last long as one the wardens who`s probably scare of my size, thinking I made want to take a split from the centre, not knowing damn, I ain`t got nowhere to run to or anybody in this loco country to run to. Well he got me back in among the population in the galleria. Back in, things were vibrant as always, businesses, casinos up on the roof and things look normal as that is normal to us here. Except for the pestering from one the lads wanting a dollar from me, well stick to my guns, I ain`t giving him nada….

Ready for second shower, while in the shower, one of the lads, who has met me some time in the past, then told me he wants to learn English, well didn`t see him again, happy that he didn`t come as he will be disturbing me from my own work; we`ve got Pedro giving them free English lessons, but not many of them are keen on making use of the free classes. Well, he started asking about some meaning of words in English that were weird, in the shower, about four grown ups were also having their shower and he should be around 21 or so, wanted to know the meaning of Bullet, Belly, killer, and shot…. well he said them in Spanish, kinda wondered why should those words be so important to him, if he wasn`t retarded as Mike rightly said. Well, the older guys knowing how the lads here are, had their shower quietly pretending they didn`t hear anything, he finally got the words and tried making a sentence with them which went something like: ¨me shot bullet belly¨ well initially I had thought it was line from one of those bashment raps, but it was his own thinking and what will make him feel good. He had a fish head pendent which he said will protect from the killer and will save him from the gun man`s bullet. Well, next time he should get one that will make him invisible from the police when they come for him.

Mike`s towel was nicked that evening from top of the cell where he hung it out to dry, guess that`s more reason I wouldn`t want hang clothes on the lines outside to dry as they could be nick.

Jer, made dinner with one of the two fishes Luis got for me, it was nice but I think he cheated me as there ain`t any place in the world one can get two fishes for a Tenner. Maybe in Harrods if they start selling fishes, though had met him earlier that day and he lied, saying he gave jer three fishes, when jer told him it was two which he showed me as he was surprised when he came with it. He later changed his stories that, he left the cooler somewhere when they came back from work; maybe someone must have nicked one of the fishes as he thought there were three big fishes. Well none of his theories amount to anything as I didn`t believe him, told him to compensate me by buying other things to add up to my tenner, hope he does.

The cough and cold is getting serious as Manni also has it, that night couldn`t sleep, spent the night in darkness thinking of what our skinny guy had contracted when he was taken to the prison farm, when he came back to Renacer he had this serious cough and lost loads of weight but since moving in with us, guess we have nursed him back to health, then he barely could walk, now he plays basketball, football, jog and workout in the gym. I hope he never had anything serious like TB, gotta Google online and see what and how infectious diseases are like in Panama penitentiary systems. Damn scare as my phlegm is thick and coloured, throughout the night heard Manni coughing and same with me.

Had an early night, but had to sleep as the cough was persistent, had tea with lime and painkillers, relieve a bit. Guess if honey was allowed, it would have been nice with lime to sooth the cough.

Schat called very late, she was worried, but told her I will be ok and we talked about loads and the kids. They are wonderful, Jessie will be having her first piano concert, can`t wait to watch the video of her playing. Had listened to her play while we talked on phone, well from what I heard, she ain`t doing badly, according to her report from her teacher, she is a fast learner and also in school, guess like me, Schat won`t want to hear that. She read and recognises words and could arrange letters to form words. I`m happy that my being here doesn’t affect their studies and others activities, but on their wellbeing, I guess they miss my presence as they often asked when I will be back home.

The cough kept me from sleeping deep…..

Saturday, 3rd of April……

Had a rough night from the cough and cold, stayed through and barely close my eyes, how I wished it wasn`t holidays, at least would have gone up to the Doctor and give it a try, maybe he will have something for me. Got BF and back to bed, was so sick that wanted to just lay there all day, but gotta get up, lately my mates seems to be eating up all BF including mine as I`m also cutting down on white bread.

The lads from Pabellon were out early, they didn`t have visit as they had it on Thursday, so many hung around our gate, just to get in and catch the fun or beg or demand for things as they always do. The annoying thing with them, is not knowing how to use PLEASE when asking for something, I have resolved to play along with them, I don`t have and won`t give, but most watch and see when you get to pay for something and then asked and when someone gives you money not knowing or care to know what the money is meant for, they just asked believing or thinking the money is yours and to share with them. Some even hold grudges among themselves to be the one close to you. Our side of prison is more or less the hub of business and so much is transacted within the walls of the galleria than most stock centre in some small countries.

Manni is busy with his film project, he barely sleep in his bed as he used to before, or is he running from the cell, juts to get away from tension and not been confronted with any issues. Well I guess we are in good terms now, lately he has been coming in late as well and having a late shower, guess the wardens are getting tired as some hardly want to open the door for him. But they always open as they won`t want see no one sleep in this bloody heat without getting cool down.

Had my shower and Jer made Pancake (American style), gave me and Ramses one his buddy and tight guy. Ernest our skinny guy came in late, wasn`t ready to share mine like I always do, ate it all up as I was damn hungry and sick from the cold.

Down to the end of the passage to my Italian friend, when Hugo my dope head buddy heard my voice from Anexo where he is doing special time from the time he has here; guess he nicked something or was caught with dope, so he is in punishment, as if dope can`t be send to him over there, the only thing they deny him now is his presence among us and him making money from selling us Breakfast and lunches he prepares from the prison food or what he begs from people. I guess I`m a bit relieve as my call credit last longer now. He heard and saw me with the mirror which is what we use t view the passage when we are locked up in our cells. Our cell and cell number 1 happens to be the only two cell with 180 degree view, since they are the first cells in each line in the galleria. Gave him a dollar, he wanted it for food, but wondered what he will buy for a dollar. I guess I know where that will end.

Back to cell, as wasn`t feeling too good, hit the bed to read a bit, couldn`t as my head was aching and feeling feverish also, was so tired and sweaty and too lazy to even stand up from the bed and take some aspirin, forced myself to sleep for a long time: when I finally woke up, took some pills. Bit relieve…

Made our juice as it was getting late, also get the meat seasoned for Jer as he will do the cooking, well he does the cooking most times except for Pasta which Manni does and mean to improvise when there`s no meat, which I always do. Guess when he`s gone, Manni will be doing the cooking, Manni can be so proud of his pasta, rather have Fabio my Italian friend make some good pasta with Vege since Manni doesn`t like or eat green vege… wondered what his mum went through with him as a kid, guess just like my son, no to green vege and my daughter was like that, but after much preaching, she now likes her greenies…

Had my shower and Mike helped picked up my short and towel from the line on the roof before they will become history.  In the shower met my new English student who`s only interested in learning Bullet, Gun and things like that, kinda avoided him as I don`t want toi be translating such words and seeing feeling good that he now knows what they mean in English.

Back to my cell, then come Carlos, I actually know that was his real name as I have seen his Seaman`s ID card as he had a nice job as a sailor before becoming a killer which brought him here. But here in the Centre everyone knows him MILLONARIO (MILLIONAIRE), well how he came about that name, I don`t bloody know, cause this dude is just the opposite of that name, he begs me for money and sometimes gets aggressive even while begging, he was opportune to be going out for work with others but he smuggled in cigarettes and was stopped from going out again, since then, he has become very aggressive with people and even with his begging style. He came to me to buy credit, told him I don`t have money, but the dude won`t leave my cell, just sat down looking at me, with a piece of paper in his hand. I ignored him and told him he should look for others to buy, if I buy that credit, he will get a dollar or so from the owner of the card and seeing that I have bought the card, he will also ask me for money. So I told him NO…

Schat called and we chatted for a while, do really missed her dearly, she misses me loads, but since we talk and text everyday, we have been able to bridged the distance by communication. How I love her and miss her now.

After dinner, we watch movies and talked, Manni won`t let the agent be, as he`s fun of taking a mick at him, well we all could content ourselves and use the jokes. Did some reading and loads of thinking mostly about my cough and also about what Ernesto came back with as his cough was very hard and persistent. Agent has told him family to get him a cough syrup for me, will pay him when they bring that on Sunday.

The night came on like a thief stealing our moment and the sun away…. and so we all drift in our slumber to a world we may love or dread…… Our Dreamland!!!!!

Sunday 4th of April…. EASTER SUNDAY 2010

Up after picking up BF, back home should be getting ready to attend church service and back home for a proper Easter Sunday lunch with the rest of the family. But here, got back to bed and there till the rest of the cell were up. I finally got up to a text from my Pastor back in London wishing me a Happy Easter and an uplifting message in his text to me. That was so relieving and same time uplifting, got a nice feeling and loads of strength to take on the day as it comes. Got a miss call from Perla, the guy who always rent his laptop to me and others also, guess he needed money. When I called him, he told me if I need the laptop, was so glad to have it as I really need to get online and do loads. Told him YES!!!!

When he finally brought it, one of the lads was in my cell, will be unwise to bring out money in his presence, so told Perla I will fix out later, he left. The laptop was filled with failures and loads of Trojans, had to clean it up before using, does that every time for him. Quickly shower and had oats, then started working on stuffs I had to do, ripped songs from Online radio and did loads as I don`t really have much time, I really want the laptop for a night, then I can work better and concentrate much better.

Only out to pick up my towel and didn`t have any idea what went on outside as I spent most of the day inside with the laptop.

When agent came in from his visit, he brought me the cough syrup, was so relieved and happy, hope it works.

Perla came in, well normally he charges a tenner, but I asked him 2 bucks back as I didn`t get it earlier enough, he gave me and left with the laptop.

Got calls from a friend, we talked a length, how I really miss the real world. But then, I won`t be here forever, one day will be out and back among the other population which is different from this one.

We had our dinner, plenty to eat from as Jer got different sorts from friends, all in tiny plastic bowls, some even in ice cream cups, what a way to bring food in here. Thought they can always get re-useable bowls like the Tupperware, dammmmmmn not here, I can understand as anything you give out to anybody here, if you don`t follow up, you won`t get it back. Paid Torres our baker who always sells cakes he brought when he goes out to work, paid him for cakes and Raspadura: well that I spell according to the pronunciation, it`s sweetener made from sugar which is use as base for cool aid drinks or making moonshine also, but one can just have it with water and twist of lemon or lime, very nice and refreshing.

Well, grateful that Easter came and gone in peace, and all stays well here. Spent the night with reading and ………………..


Posted in 1 on April 4, 2010 by doingtimeabroad


WEEK 12 

Monday 22nd through Sunday 28th of March 2010. 

New week full of hopes and dreams, some may come true; others may not, but remain just the dreams they are meant to be. 

Monday 22nd….. 

Sunday night met me staying up late till the early hours of Monday as I was busy with our phone that has done its time and it`s on the end of its lifecycle, but here in the centre phones don`t just die, they just gotta live as we need them, some are tied and bund with tapes to keep them together, others, one just had to do with them, like the one I had that was taken by the cop, guess when he find out the state of the phone he will hate himself for even touching it, he might even get an infection for touching the phone, how Nelson used that phone was amazing; no backlight, I send more than 5 texts each day, reading my text has always been a war, but it was ok. I finally fix the old banger and called it a night. 

Up when the workers were woken up, and got dressed, took my books and USB stick, made it out before Moreno locked the door as it wasn`t time yet. Outside, saw my old country bloke left the library, quickly sneaked in before Bebe will lock the door, lately he had been friendly, and I guess he is the only gay in the Village!!! Bebe is from Colombia and has been in the exotic part of Europe, but loves my country most; reasons best known to him. Everybody knows he is gay, but since he has not been loud about it, he earns his respect as in Panama, there are many gays, but the society still make joke and fun about them unlike the European society where the constitutions allow everyone to live along side of each other and you could pay your ass for any form of discrimination. Have seen loads of TV programs here that really take the mick out of gays here in Panama, and the guys here really act like the rest of the people. But Bebe has earned his respect by dancing to the tunes of everybody, but he used to be mouthy with us the foreigners. 

All the youths are always in his Art Studio doing something like preparing their wares for sale and he does not complain because he can`t. He`s a good artist and works very hard and many guys are learning from him now. He was the one who told me that the best prison for anyone to be, well he has his family here who comes to see him every weekend and I guess none of the youths bother him for money or ever ask him each time he goes out of the yard and back if it was his embassy that visited him and what he has for them and moreover displaying their knives for him to see what they have. 

At the library, worked a bit on my blog and did some reading until others started coming. My country blokes all came in and used up the two other computers. Finally called my consulate with regards to bringing in my radio, they couldn`t due to some reason which I do understand. I guess the retards guys here are making things difficult not just for themselves alone but for everybody. Others spoke with our contact at the consul and there was sense of satisfaction or good feeling for just talking to her, I believe she works with respect and each one of us do respect her for all her effort to keep our spirit together. Or maybe they were happy as we are approaching Month end and the beginning of a new Month – Pay day. Out on the street and back then what I get here won`t be enough to spend with my course mates at the Uni Pub drinking and nibbling nuts, but here it`s enough to build me a mansion and also support all my adopted kids here. 

Spoke with my lawyer, he promised getting in touch with Jesus people about the radio, I really need the radio; its got loads that will be very useful for me, my Spanish lessons, hope to tune it and get American stations and maybe BBC world focus and other English stations. 

When Schat called, was worried as she doesn`t call at such time, but she called to give me a breaking but good news, the pack I sent her on the first week of December 09 just arrived, couldn`t believe what I heard, it went through Brazil, don`t know if there`s a town in Brazil called Barking. It contain vital documents she will need for my car and what my Uni needed that were with me. I`m so relieved that she got them. Talked with her about loads and things she has to sell when she starts her maternity leave. Well, during my time off my study I used to buy good wears mostly designers’ stuffs and resell or supply friends that have boutiques. I always wanted to open a top of the range boutique until the recession hit Europe; had to put that on hold, still have inclination to fashion and well my computers also. She was shock what she found from what I had bought and stocked, and she has been selling some to close friends. Guess she will have loads to do during her maternity leave, gotta work on her ebay account and maybe gumtree. 

Had a nap in the afternoon, guess was tired and was woken by the warden who will be getting my phone in, bought him soda and we chat a bit, he wanted to watch passa passa video; girls dancing and showing off their assets. Told him to come back later as I don`t have or know where they were. 

Was so happy that day, as I had lost all hope of the letter getting to her, but it was a miracle she got it after three Months on the road. 

The evening came with our dinner and me making my wonder juice it`s getting better with time and as new as each day comes. We rarely drink soda in my cell, as they trust me to brew them healthy and cheap drink. Now loads of guys been asking me what I do and how I do it, won`t tell and won`t show. 

Stayed up late reading magazines from my country, nice magazine with loads of good articles and did loads of thinking; like what I will do when I finally leave this place and how life will be on the outside. I always wonder if people who come out of jails do get back to a normal life once they are out. I will be determining to achieve something positive after my time here. This place is like a school but a very different kind from what we had known school to be. People come here, get soften, others comes and leaves very harden and ready to re-offend over and over again. 

Tuesday 23rd…. 

Despite my late night sleep last night, was able to pick up BF, the pabellon guys were out, so I slept till late until around 9ish, heard my name. It was my country bloke whom I had the scuffle then in my former cell, like I said we have become very good friends and very tight now, never believe we will be this tight. I think sometimes fights or brawl does bring out the best of people. He`s the only one that can loan me money or anything without bothering me on when he will get it back. Does my hair and does not bother about my paying instantly, sometimes I forget but always pay when he reminds me. He came to call me that I should help him with the laptop. He had gotten the laptop from Perla same guy that I always get from, I pay ten bucks for half day, but I know he will pay less as they both share ancestors (Dominican Rep.). 

Each time I get the laptop I end up spending an hour or two cleaning and fixing many faults done by people he rents it to. He needed me to help with some stuffs on p2p software, he got the wrong software that installed a Trojan in the laptop, had to clean it up and checked for the right software, got one and it works, he actually wanted to download music in his language. He was able to get loads within the time he had the laptop. 

He allowed me use it for my mails and other things I needed to check, quickly browse through the news making headlines in Europe and around the world briefly, sent an important mail and was busy ripping songs from online radio when Perla came for his laptop. I decided to draft my request and application for my own laptop as soon as I get my books, I`m handing it in and will make sure I hand it personally to the director himself. 

That Morning, my mate rushed in to warn of police on riot gears coming in. They weren`t many – just a handful of them. Thought they had come for search, so we stashed our phones and waited for the worst. But they came not for our phones or knives or anything illegal, but came to do what the director said he will do, he finally did it. The boys that were involved in the fight with Santos (Scarface) were being hauled away and from what we heard, they were taken to one of the Maximum prison; La Joya. I believe those boys won`t believe their eyes as they were taken unaware, six of them and one other guy. I always thought him to be a nice guy, but my mate once told me, all Panamanians are snitch and don`t ever trust anyone of them or get too tight with them. He was caught by one of the police after lockdown roaming around the passage in the Pabellon; he always sneaked out through the ceiling of his cell and does his business, supplying dope or weed to the other inmates during the course of the night. I guess he was doing home delivery to all the dope heads as they all need something to keep them through the night. Well if I was a user, I would be buying mine weekly or get enough for the night so I can stay through without wanting any disturbance. He was actually doing his mates good and at the same time making money, but he paid the ultimate price, going to La Joya (the jewel) max Prison. There they will all know what reality is and what life is. My second day on in that jail, a guy was stabbed and died but the Panamanians are housed in a different pabellon from the foreigners there. He was actually one of Bebe`s boys who always does his mixes in the art studio. 

The director actually had both pabellon and Galeria opened so we can see what he was doing and also know that he meant business and not joking with his job. That was a direct message to the guys here, but from what I have heard that doesn`t stop them when they want to be crazy with their knives. 

But we hope peace will reign for some time now and we also hope the opening will get back to normal as if anything is normal in this place. 

Later made out time to walk and jogged, met up with my old Canadian friend, well not Jack; the older one at Anexo (he has seen the walls of prison more than anybody, maybe except Pepe our old Banker, Jack speaks French, German, English, and Spanish and more which he won`t tell me). 

But this Canadian is a more subtle and intelligent fellow, who had always lived the good life, but circumstances like the one that got most of us in this sh_thole made him did what he did that brought him here. He was an expat who emigrated from Canada to Costa Rica more than 25 years ago and settle there with his family set up an architectural firm and executed loads of jobs, said he lived on the beach, later saw picture of his home. He was well to do, until he decided to set up his own hotel, designed and built it, after some years decided to sell it as a result of the down turn in the tourist business since the world`s economic recession, his lawyer duped him and he sued him for fraud, the case has been pending and being a foreigner and his Lawyer a National, the lawyer had the case prolonged and it could take up to 8 years for it to come to court. So the old guy decided to hustle and make a living through the other way and here he is. Walking round the field everyday and when he is not, he is always reading, told me how his Panamanian cell mate showed him knives when he first got here. But he told them that he has the right to sleep in his bed. I guess that was the best to tell these retarded dope heads. 

Most of them can`t stand real fist fight, they hide behind their knives and their gang members. 

Agent came back without the groceries, got the money from him, our then skinny guy who is now growing a little one pack said he can arrange his family to do the shopping, that I should give him the money, gave him and he gave it to one the guys working with agent. Someone will pick it up and do the shopping and give the groceries to the guy who will bring it in, Hope it works. 

Well, the night comes and another lives start theirs in the thick jungle of gamboa, the director has placed another memo that from 26th of March, all curtains should be taken down from around the cells, well from what I have seen about prison, every normal prison are built like room with windows, but not like cage. Here we are housed in cages like zoo animals (they even get better care than us). The Curtain is the only way we can protect ourselves and our things from the eyes of the crooks here. Once they entered your cell, within seconds they have scanned through your lots and know what is where and how to nick it in their next visit. And the curtains keep the dust away but I doubt if snakes ever wondered into this place, what will it be like? 

Just hope he back downs from writing memos, since he came, he has written out so much that when compiled together, it will make a good reading. 

That Night, my English Mate was getting ready for bed, while I was still busy, we heard noises, first though was something from the jungle has found its way into our cell, but it was our agent talking in his sleep, went close to hear him, maybe he was giving up some valuable secrets or info. But he was in another world, but we laughed my English mate almost fell off his pent house bunk. That was a good show. 

Called it a night and read and thinking through till zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!! 

Wednesday 24th of March….. 

First to hit the bed last night, but last to sleep as I was busy reading and thinking; the two most important think anyone can do here to make good use of his time. 

Up for BF, but others were up as well, got the bowls for our skinny mate who is adding weight at an alarming rate, checked what he got, wondered what on God`s good earth does this guys from AliPrac (the company that prepares and supply our food) always think when they are preparing our food. They have no sense of what balance diet should be, we got fried tortilla; fried maize with slice of cheese and cream made from maize also, without milk. For my Diet BF, I go the normal three ball of white bread and nothing. What a good diet, well thank God I had something else in mind to eat before my workout. 

Went back to bed after picking up BF and meditate for a while, then finally got out, dressed up for my exercise, we were out early today. Walked and run till I got tired, had a partner on the field today, he told me how big he was when he was arrested, but problems with his wife cheating around and not seeing his kids caused him loads, he was locked up in Chiriquí where our banker came from, told me that the food there was small and very bad. But it wasn`t the food that made him lost weight, but thinking, he was so depressed, but when he got transferred here, closer to his people and the prison food is much better here compare to the other. And his Spirit is more uplifted as he jogs and workout each day, get visit from his family. 

While at the gym, met Fabio my Italian guy who was arrested same day and we are like twin now always counting our days together, nice guy though. He told me of one Spanish guy who tried to escape, he went to the centre`s shrink, but then decided to jump off the wire fence by climbing on one big tree, hope the director will not chop off the tree now. Well, our dude landed and shattered his ankle. Well sometime ago, he had visit and tried to smuggled in cigarettes, and he is a dope head. What he didn`t know, when one to escape, you just do it when it crosses your mind; you have to plan and work on it, how and when!! Either you will jump on the moving train that ride along the prison fence, or swim the canal with his crocodiles and stow on one of the ship sailing by. Or the ultimate run through the jungle with all its animals, maybe you will become a yummy meal for them. But the best is getting the wardens and cops open the doors and get you out to a waiting car outside the centre. 

I don’t think our Spanish friend thought of the above when he was doing his high jump thing. While talking with Fabio, the wardens came in and summoned all Spaniards, guess to count them and make sure they are complete. Our guy will be taken for treatment and who knows he may be sent to La Joya also, we will see, since he is an European if they will send him there. Next time, someone ought to tell him, when thinking of escape; he has to be sober from his dopes and very strong enough to do one of the things listed above. Wish him good luck in his future endeavours. Mucho gusto amigo!!!

We had Pork chops for lunch and there was frenzy as soon as they guys knew, thank God the galleria was locked, I was outside as the wardens and I are getting along now. Talked my way and got 6 for our cell as we weren`t having no meat for dinner and don`t know if my mate`s friend will get the stuffs.

Lately many of the guys here being walking around with baby parrot, they actually nurse them and keep them till they grow big and then send them to their kids. Never thought they could be that caring, one had his little birdie with him, took it and made some pictures, very beautiful creature, was damn hungry and was picking on my hand and gloves. Back to my training and done with it and had my lunch, the diet food looks fine but the taste was awful, don`t what types of spices they use in cooking. But it`s terrible, was hungry, eat the beef and beans with bread. The sauce and rice dumped in the bin, drank loads of water to fill me up.

Earlier that day made call home, but nobody was home, left message for everybody, when Schat called later on, she said they all listen and loved it, the kids were happy to hear their personal messages from daddy. Sorted out my car finance as Schat will be taking over it now and manage it.

One of the Custodio that I was warned of from the first day here, called me that next Sunday is his birthday and that he will want a gift from me, maybe I should give him the old banger phone. Then he will let me at peace, well, will look for something for him. It’s always money or buys him drink, maybe a fiver will be okay.

My lawyer finally got the radio, hope he will bring it in and able to get it in also when he comes. Finally things are taking shapes.

Later that evening, Ernesto told me that his person couldn`t get the things, so I hope I get my money intact. Which I finally got, lately he is being getting stoned continuously, but he always quiet when he is in Lala land, hope he is only on weed and not the white thing. And I got my money, gave it to Jer, his friend will do the shopping, well sending these guys to do groceries, one should always bear in mind that they will come back with incomplete list and Money given can`t be taken.

I had to cook, thank God we had the chops and got some chicken from the prison dinner and washed them, striped them, with the pork chops, made us a nice sauce, bought eggs which I fried one for each mate. We had a full Dinner, then tea and pastries for dessert. Good life….

Watch CSI Las Vegas on dvd, about 4 episode through the night while others slept, did some reading before sleeping. Had a strange but good dream, but hope they come true.

Thursday 25th……

Six Months today and everything seems like it all happened yesterday, can still remember vividly how it all happened, well the past six Months has been well spent I must say, communication with Schat and the kids has been keeping me going. The only thing I miss is their presence, waking up next to her and having the kids sneaking into the bed when it`s cold in their room. Sometimes I do let them in, but Schat always like sending them back, which they don`t like. Someday we will relive all our moments and it will be a carpe diem life.

Pick up BF and none for me, don`t know what`s wrong with the Midget Colombian, he always says I should wait for the Kiwi (wondered what he came to do all the way from New Zealand) who serves diet BF and that one never comes. But you see him throwing away some of the food, what an Idiot!!! I so despise him, but what can I do. At least getting up from my bed, he should give me complete BF for six people.

Back to bed till 9ish, had my shower and after lunch came, used the chicken and made some omelette with cheese, shared with Ernesto and Felix (he is one of the big dealers here and he is always seen with a brown towel round his waist, wonder if he ever washes the towel, 90% of the time I have seen him, he`s got his towel on), Felix brought 4 sausages, fried 2 for me and 2 for him, made mint tea and  shared with them. Very difficult to eat alone when they sit around you watching you cook.

Left for the library and had to work a bit, had Pedro (The Peado) Laptop and help him organised it and check for loads of errors in his hard drive. It was a bit faster after I fixed it, ended up being on the pc all day without working on my Spanish lessons.

Back in after lockdown, talked with Schat, asked how my boy is doing since he too has picked up the chicken pox, hope he gets better soon. He is using the pox as excuse to get whatever he wants, always telling Schat he needs his medication as that is sweet, when asked why, he said, because he has Chicken pox, also asked for sweet all because he has chicken pox. I`m happy that he remained strong unlike his sister who was very weak when she had it; moreover it is a one time sickness. I pray that Schat doesn`t pick it up also, as she is due soon.

The cell is a bit tense as we ain`t got basic groceries and Luis our Harrods type supermarket hasn`t brought my stuffs. He charges us extremely much for things he buys for us, how we wish we will get genuine people among the lots to help us with our groceries.

Lately, I pick bit and bits from my prison food, used what I think are healthy; like the Beans, vegetables which rarely comes. Then add it to whatever we will have.

The agent comes back everyday so tired while the others come back lively, I guess they always live the job for him to do, while the go jerk off with their girls or wives. We have told him to start doing same maybe that will keep and make him livelier.

End the night with book and thinking as always……

Friday 26th….

For now, picking up BF has become my duty as I`m closer to the opening where the BF is served. Back to bed until I heard the Kiwi scream my name, he swears like a  bitch when I told him the door was open he should move to the door as opening the black T shirt we used as a little curtain for the food hole will entangled with my fan. I was made at him, but let it go as he is an old fool who talks like a bitch also. Don`t tell him anything unless the want the whole centre to know what you told him. For that I never discuss anything with him except about our food and nothing more!!!

Dressed up and out for my daily workout, walking, jogging and later some weights, while working out, one of my country bloke called up that he spoke with our consulate and he was asked to tell me that the Analysis report is ready, so the next step will be waiting for a court day. Was relieved but not happy as the court date can take months, so gotta keep myself busy and occupy as I wait.

Hugo my Dope head friend from pabellon called me from Anexo while I was walking, was surprised to hear from him there, immediately knew he had done something wrong and bad to be taken in there and he was actually locked up, which meant he was under punishment. Later heard that he was caught stealing, well using dope is an expensive lifestyle and one needs money to fund such a lifestyle. I heard that he even does one they call DIABLO (The Devil), mixing dope with cigarette and then smoke it, that is a wicked thing.

While talking about Hugo with Mike (My Gringo friend), he told me of his experience with drugs of all sorts. Once he did Acid (LSD), went on a trip to lala land and till this day he believes a Pink Elephant drove him home from the party. Told me of his friend who had some Acid tabs on him at school and the securities came for a search, the lad stashed his things in his socks and pull over his jeans, but the pills all dissolved into his skin, he took trip and never came back, ended up in a mental institution. Well, told him when next he goes on such trips, he should get some vital information about certain things and ideas from the other world which might be useful in our world. He even compared Avatar like characters he has seen in one of his trips to lala land, who knows maybe the creator of that movie took some trips and came back with Avatar. What a jerk……. but he is one of the few nice guys here, I`m tight with him.

Heard from Fabio my Italian twin bruv; since we got busted same day and we have always been together since then, but never in same cell, that our Liar or Lawyer will be coming on Monday. Manni my English mate, is busy with his film project, but it seems many people want to steal his idea and the spot from him, one reason he will lose it to them, he bloody doesn`t speak Spanish and doesn`t make any effort to learn. The Director is doing all he can to take the spotlight when filming is done.

Omar one of the quiet guy had a spar with Anyway (a Panamanian who pick up his artist name from a Jamaica MC; Movado…. he`s known for anyway…. gangsta for life), heard Anyway is a bad guy, but distance from him and cool with him. He had a spar with Omar, it`s a kind of boxing, you try to hit your opponent below the neck and above the waist line, not on the head or below the waist line. Many of them does that once in a while maybe to proof some points or to show who is stronger. But sometimes it could turned into something else, like in the case of Omar vs. Anyway, after the Spar, Omar offered him a hand shake, he chucks Omar`s hand away and walk on. He wasn`t happy… well I hope it ends there.

One of the Custodio who told me of his birthday, took my phone, but later gave me after making calls with it, he so such he will get something from me before leaving next Wednesday.

Schat and I exchanged text and call it a day. The day ends with our dinner and chats….

Saturday 27th……..

Got up early got BF and back to sleep, since I slept very late, finally up around 11ish and down on the hall way of the galleria was much tensed. Heard that one of the youths that was brought in from Pabellon to the galleria; he and other youths lives among some grown ups in the then reflection area, when they weren´t much inmates in the galeria, that area used to be an isolated area only used for punishment (Isolation). But since the centre has become over populated now, the area has been cleaned up and all the cells are filled up. The boys there are known to be belligerent and people don`t just go in there, they even name the area FABELA “City of Nobody” after the infamous ghetto in Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. Most crimes in the Galeria are committed by inmates from that area, moonshines, dopes and knives can appear and disappear in that area. They also have a slot they sneak out, people know but no one care to talk. 

The youth try having the Spaniard who does laundry perform a sex act on him, guess give him a blow job; well I was wrong when I said that things like that may not happen here as many of them have their girlfriends and wives visit them every weekend and whenever they asked for special visit. But I guess among the youths upstairs in the Pabellon, there are still elements who still want more, like our little fellow. Heard he was taken to Anexo, guess when he get there, he made forced to become somebody`s girl…

Back upstairs, Andrea one of the last Italian still living among the youths had his $180 phone stolen, guess its time for him to move down and live among the adults where theft is minimal and only happens when you loose your guard.

Made brunch and gave some to Hugo my dope head buddy who`s locked up in Anexo, guess being punished for stealing; to support his dope habit; he sniffs and also does one they called Diablo (The Devil); cigarette mix with coke, his mate does it, but got a strong head to take the shit that will come, but not Hugo after each stint, he starts looking for his girlfriend in other people`s cell. Despite the money in makes in selling food, which actually are the prison food, he picks them, washed them up and re-cooked them and sells them. Sometimes asked people for ingredients until he`s got enough and then uses them to prepare his meals which he sells. Smart guy huh but not strong enough to handle the white thing, he plays football very good, no wonder Maradona, the Argentine striker was good also, guess dope makes them good ballers, they should start giving our player doses so they stay in top form.. lol!!!

Our Phone hasn`t come in yet, tension is high between me and Manni, my English mate, hope I got this sorted out soon, though I`m tight with him, he won`t pull knives on me, he wanted to call and maybe scream, told him what do you do when you have your hands in the Lion`s mouth? Answer: Pet the animal until it let go your hand, we are locked up and has someone outside with our phones, and we have to be calm until we get our phone, then we will break every contact with that fella.

The director was in Cara Pony`s cell; one of the lads that I rent his laptop for us, guess the director was there to rent his laptop but to sort some important issues out. Cara Pony (Pony`s face) he`s got a big face like that of a Pony, hence that name. He has two laptops and rent one out, the other one can also use in his cell. Several times I have used it, found some stuffs which tells me that this guy is busy with some stuffs, but then, one of the golden rule in prison; Don`t and never interfere in other inmates business.

When the Director came, he was handcuffed while all the Custodios search his cells, from what I heard, we always seen him go upstairs with his external hard disk and he happens to work in the director`s office; guess servicing his pc, but at the same time nick some vital documents and information. Heard he has produced documents with early release dates for some of his mate. And also had the director stamps and signatures, he also forged fake permits to allow things in and also conjugal visit, Manni said of that, he would have gotten us in as we would gladly buy the conjugal ones, maybe get 8 hours and even share with others.  Well that was ingenious of him, wonder how that will get to the penitentiary system, well guess he was good in what he was doing and he did it well. Maybe they also found out he has internet, well that won`t be problem, he was taken away and everything that has to do with his laptops were seized. But was later released in the evening, since nobody will tell what is happening, let it slide, one day we will know the whole truth.

Went around Anexo to say hi to Hugo who is still lock up, only release to have his shower when others are in, saw one of the youths running with phone in his hand while the Custodio ran after him, he quickly put the phone in the hand of Manfred our German inmate who was standing beside me in the Galeria side of the Berlin wall; the gate that separate us from Anexo. Manfred was confused as he didn`t know what to do, the lad told him to run, but the warden wanted the phone, the lad said things like, if he gives it to the warden he will be fixed!!! Told him to give the phone back to the lad, he did and the lad ran away. The Warden should know by now, how things work, that the lads won`t give their phone easily. Well the saga ended and later when I saw the lad, asked him if everything is cool, said ok….

Ran out of call credit, was sick without using my phone, spoke with schat and she promised to top up online for me, but she`s been very busy and always end up tired when going to bed. She forgot and slept off. She later rang late at night, 4am her time, and she will do it later in the day which will be Sunday.

The night ended with our dinner and tension between me and Manni, though manage to talk to him about the phone, hope he understands that he is Prison in the Jungle of Panama and not in posh London, where rules are and are obeyed.

Sunday 28th……….

Picking up BF is now a daily ritual, guess will stop someday and see what will happen, as the midget Colombian doesn`t give me mine, but insist that I wait for the Diet BF from the Kiwi who sometimes doesn`t come.

Heard there was search early that morning around 6am by the police, guess in Cara pony`s cell, forgot one of the rules of prison, never sleep too deep, which I did because I slept late. Schat did my top up and got loads of call credits. Since Ernesto uses my phone with me, guess it won`t last long, but couple of days ago he did something stupid, he used up my credit. I always give him the phone to call his girl on same network and that is free since I don`t have anybody to call, but he called another network which was charged on my call time, ended up using all my credits, I was mad at him…. he is being quiet about using my phone, only receiving calls from his mum. The phone is not even mine, but agents, since he goes to work everyday, it has become like mine. and agent doesn`t mind me keeping, since he always get it whenever he needs it. Nice fella….. We only wondered what the Yanks did to his head!!!!

The Casinos are now permanently up on the roof of the cells and they are pretty busy with their dollar gambling, and they all act up like big time gamblers, there always tension building among the players, always try to stay away from them, guess not from losing a dollar but from the fact they just lost. Heard of how they spent loads of money and some even ran into debts, well this is not a place to run into debts as things can turn very ugly.

The week has ended and so with all its toils and turmoil, but most grateful that it ended well for me and my con friends, we were able to live through another week avoiding blows and brawls. I hope they will keep it up this way for a very long time. Thank God!!!